A Dragon Among Thieves
by theLuce
Summary: Kaiya, Skyrim's hot mess of a Dragonborn, finds herself in need of purpose after handling the Alduin threat. She ends her debauchery filled retirement by joining the Thieves Guild and when she meets the dark and brooding Guildmaster, her purpose becomes clear: make that sexy SOB fall in love with her. Mature for violence, language & eventual sexual content. OC X Mercer Frey
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter I**

 _2nd of Sun's Dusk 4E202_

Kaiya awoke with a start. Sitting up straight and breathing hard, she looked around, trying to familiarize herself with her surroundings enough to anchor her racing thoughts to reality.

 _It was a dream,_ she thought. _Just a dream. Breathe. I'm in an inn. I'm in bed. I'm alo.."_ before she could finish her rumination, the furs moved next to her with a groan. She jumped out of bed and took up a fighting stance, an instinct bred from years of living recklessly.

 _I'm not alone. I'm… naked. OK. Breathe Kai. Think._ She slammed her eyes shut in concentration, trying to replay the previous night's events in her mind. She remembered arriving in Riften. She remembered walking into the Bee and Barb and ordering a bottle of mead. So she was in the Bee and Barb, good. She remembered having a few conversations with her fellow patrons. As her memories of the night continued on, they became more and more hazy. She vaguely remembered having a conversation with one man in particular, although the identity of the man escaped her. There was a dubious recollection of running up the stairs and closing the door behind her with the faceless stranger. Her eyes opened wide.

"Oh gods…" she whispered to the quiet room, her head slowly turning to focus on the bulk under the covers of her bed. She leaned over, bending at the waist to try to see over the shoulder of her unidentified companion, his face obscured by the furs. With one hand, she slowly pulled the obstruction away, revealing long, dark brown hair tied with a strap of leather. She jumped back with a gasp.

 _Who is that?_

She leaned over again, this time adamant to solve the mystery before her. As she stared, brows furrowed in concentration, the man began to move, rolling onto his back. She startled, backing off a bit before taking in the features of the unknown bedmate. Dark eyebrows, a stupid patch of hair just below his bottom lip, a pronounced, Imperial nose. Her hand covered her mouth at the realization.

 _Marcurio!?_ She backed away, her hand sliding down her face and hanging limp by her side.

As her cheeks reddened with embarrassment at the realization, she began to move frantically, grabbing her black mage robe from the stone floor and throwing it over her in clumsy haste to cover her bare form. _Not again. Come on Kaiya. Get your shit together._ Her mind raced with the inevitable self-loathing that usually followed one of her drunken nights like this. Under her breath, she rattled off prayers to Dibella, Mara, whatever deity would listen to her desperate pleas to remain unnoticed. These prayers were routine to her at this point, promising this wouldn't happen again. She would stop with the nights that resulted in black outs and bad decisions. She would be better, this time she was serious. On and on she rattled off mindless pleas to deities who had long stopped listening while she scrambled around the room for her things. Her sword belt was on the table. She found one boot in the corner, pulling it on before spotting its counterpart under the bed.

However, In her aim to leave before the mage was awake, she failed to notice his position had changed. There he laid, propped up on one elbow as he watched her reaching under the bed for her missing boot.

"Well good morning, sunshine."

Kaiya froze, her foot halfway into the recently retrieved boot as she sat on the floor. While her thoughts screamed obscenities at the situation she found herself in, outwardly she gathered her composure, falling back on her signature nonchalance.

"Morning Marcurio."

The process of dressing now complete, she pushed herself to her feet while wiping off dust from the floor that had attached to her robes. She adjusted her blades and absentmindedly checked her neck for the familiar feeling of the chain she always wore, complete with the silver ring that dangled off of it. She could feel his stare boring into her but she could not bring herself to look up and face him, imagining the smug look he must have plastered across his face.

"I told you Kaiya, you can run away all you want but you always find your way back to my bed" he bragged, bringing both hands behind his head as he stretched out on his back. Kaiya cringed at the pompous tone of his statement, opting to stay silent as to not prolong this encounter any further. Interpreting her lack of response as speechlessness, he grinned as he looked towards her.

"No need to be shy. We both know you're no untouched maiden."

Her head snapped up at his taunt, anger flaring in her expression. "Don't mistake my regret for fucking you with shame of my long lost virtue, Marcurio" she spat at him, venom in her words. His grin did not waver, which caused her to groan and roll her eyes as she stomped towards the exit.

"Leaving so soon, my lusty Breton mage?" he cooed, reveling in her rising temper. "Fuck off, Marc" was all she said as she stormed out the room, slamming the door behind her and leaving the Imperial to grin by himself.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter II**

 _2nd of Sun's Dusk 4E202_

Kaiya bounded down the stairs of the Bee and Barb, feeling the need to flee the room she had rented as if it were on fire. As she hurried towards the door, she heard snickering from the few patrons up early enough to witness her walk of shame.

"Have a good night, Breton?" she heard Keerava call out to her from behind the bar, followed by stifled laughter from the rest of the onlookers. With one hand on the door she paused, her thoughts racing to find the words she needed to play coy. Throwing on a smirk of confidence, she looked over her shoulder to toss a quip at her audience. "Ya win some, ya lose some but that's the way it goes when you're actually getting laid, right Aerin?" she taunted, winking at the infamously unsullied Imperial before pushing open the doors and making her way outside.

The sudden assault of sunlight as she stepped out of the inn made her flinch, her eyes slowly adjusting to the contrast. It was apparently later than she thought. The market in the city's center was bustling with activity, merchants yelling over each other while prospective consumers made their way around the stands. Rather than think on the massive mistake she made the night before a moment longer, Kaiya began aimlessly wandering through the merchant stalls, chewing on an old frost mirriam leaf she had found in her robe and looking through the items each vendor had to offer with no intention of purchasing anything.

She took the opportunity at Madesi's stand to check her frightful reflection in the looking glass he provided for customers trying on his jewelry. He eyed her with barely concealed humor as she ran her fingers through her wild, blonde mane in an attempt to tame her disheveled appearance. Once she was content with at least looking human again, she moved on without a word to the chuckling Argonian.

She found her way over to the forge at the Scorched Hammer, the resident blacksmith unaware of her approach as he worked a blade across the hide stretched on the tanning rack.

"Concentrating pretty hard on caressing that leather, eh Balimund?" she joked as she hopped up to sit on his armorer's workbench.

The Nord looked over his shoulder, surprised that someone would be so forward before he spotted the Breton, sitting with a grin on his workbench and swinging her legs back and forth. He stood, giving Kaiya a smile that seemed to take up his entire face before making his way over to where she sat.

"Hey there stranger," he said as he devoured her tiny frame into a giant hug. "Here to get your armor repaired so you can change out of that ridiculous robe?"

"What an incredibly Nord thing to say, Bal" she laughed, rolling her eyes. "And for your information, I'm just here to say hi. I'm on vacation!" she exclaimed, lifting her arms in the air to add effect.

"Vacation?" His eyes narrowed at her, suspecting some foul play. "Dragonborns get vacations?"

"When they're done saving the world they do."

"Hmph" he grumbled, looking at her with a dose of cynicism. "So what brings you to Riften?"

"I don't know," she answered honestly, surprising herself and the blacksmith with her candor. She hurried to explain further. "I mean, I don't remember deciding to come here, but here I am" she held out her arms to the sides as if putting herself on display, hoping that the humor she added to her tone would keep him from asking more pointed questions.

In reality, Kaiya had no more motive to be in Riften that day than she had to be in the Misty Grove after a night with Sanguine. This had been her life the past few months, a series of drunken hijinks as she wandered from hold to hold. While she continuously told herself that soon she would settle down and be a respectable hero of Skyrim, she couldn't seem to bring herself to stop. Why should she? She'd argue with herself, downing mead after mead, ale after ale. She no longer had anything to do, no one needed her, she was done saving the world, so why not enjoy some free time? The people of Skyrim seemed to love this side of her, happily guzzling down the rounds she bought for entire taverns. Plenty of men had reason to love her recklessness as well, as she consistently found herself jumping into bed with whatever man seemed the most interesting on a given night. Yet morning after morning, hangover after hangover, she woke with the same feeling of emptiness. The same feeling of loneliness. None of these men compared to _him_ , the one that had apparently ruined her for all others.

Balimund graciously let her strange explanation slide without further challenge, a raised eyebrow the only evidence of any skepticism. Since it seemed she would be there for a while, he resigned himself to continue working while they talked. Picking up a steel sword from a nearby weapon rack, he sat down at the grindstone, one foot slowly urging it into motion. As he fell into a familiar routine at the stone, he looked up from his work to ask his now quiet visitor another question.

"So you're telling me you don't have any heroic battles planned to clear out a bandit camp for the Jarl today or anything?" Her eyes met the blacksmith's as she beamed, "nope!"

"And you're not bored to tears?" he asked, deciding a more blunt approach was necessary. Her smile faltered, but only for an instant. She looked down at her feet, then back up to the smith, her expression much more contemplative than the grin she wore a moment before. "Honestly Balimund? Yeah, I'm a little bored."

"Then why are you hanging out in Riften, for divines' sake!" he thundered at her over the sound of metal on stone. "You used to complain about how busy you were before, griping that you had no time for a social life or a relationship or anything for yourself. Well now you have time, so why aren't you holed up in some cabin banging some hot, young Stormcloak or something?!" his eyes focused on her face as she winced.

Kaiya let out a surprised laugh at Balimund's words, not expecting such brashness from the old smith. But if Kaiya was good at anything, it was avoidance. Her lips curved into a predatory smile, demonstrating clearly that the moment of contemplation was over and the casual, nonchalant Kaiya had returned. "How do you know I'm not bangin' Stormcloaks?"

His brows knit together in frustration at her attempt to dodge his point but before he could respond, she continued. "How do you know I'm not in Riften looking for my next conquest?" she asked, her face morphing into sheer mischief.

She leaned towards the unamused blacksmith, using as much of her small body as possible to accentuate her smugness. "There are two things I enjoy doing" she explained, counting off her list on her fingers. "First, I enjoy drinking myself into oblivion. Second, I enjoy soulless, emotionless romps with random strangers." She grinned, "Take those hobbies and the fact that I finally have a few gold to spend and you can figure out the rest." Her smug grin turned wicked, accompanying her sinful tone. "Retirement has been downright licentious, Bal."

In her quest to prove herself to Balimund by playing coy, she ended up confessing much more truth than she intended. She was trying to make her life sound as though she was living out some fantasy, but just as any fantasy is rarely as great in reality as it was imagined, her life after Alduin was not what she hoped it'd be. If she was being honest with herself, which she rarely was anymore, she would admit that she missed the good old days. The days when her journal was full of jobs and missions, when she moved through Skyrim with ambition.

Balimund was quiet for a few tense moments, staring at the wheel of his grindstone as he contemplated his next move. This conversation had turned into something he had not expected and he was unsure of how far he wanted to push the Dragonborn in her obvious denial.

"Retirement, Kaiya?" he finally responded, giving her a look of disbelief. "You're the godsdamned Dragonborn, girl. You're not some weapon to hang on display to commemorate some event, you're the hero of Skyrim."

"Really Balimund" she said quizzically, "you're going to come at me with a Blacksmith allegory? Where'd you get that from, Blacksmith Parables Vol II?" she laughed, now on a rampage. "What's next? Oh! Oh, please tell me that I'm like steel and I just need to be shaped!" She put her hands together as if praying, mock pleading with the smith. "Oh gods please tell me I just need to strike while the iron's hot!" She snickered, hopping off the workbench to indicate that she assumed that was the final blow of the argument.

Balimund shook his head at her impudence, a small smile forming on his face. "You're a real pain in the ass, Kai" he murmured before dropping his voice into a more serious tone. "Look Kaiya, I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life. You're a grown woman and you can make your own decisions." She nodded patronizingly, as if this was the exact point she'd been making. His face, in contrast, showed nothing but concern, which made the Dragonborn uneasy. She knew what came after that look.

"I'm just saying it seems like you need to find some purpose, is all."

And there it was, the final blow. That word. _Purpose_. Her head dropped to stare at the ground as she fidgeted uncomfortably under Balimund's gaze, absentmindedly spinning the ring she wore around her neck in her fingers. She looked up after a few quiet moments, a smile on her lips in an attempt to disguise how piercing his statement had really been. She could not bring herself to meet his eyes, her own gleaming with moisture on the verge of spilling over. She let out a single, awkward laugh and cleared her throat, trying desperately to stave off any type of emotional outburst. Balimund stood from the grindstone and approached her but she took a step back in response, eyes and mouth closed tightly as she shook her head quickly back and forth.

"Whew!" she cried out with a forced exhale, beginning to laugh off the moment. Her hands came up to dry the bottom of her eyes as she finally seemed to pull herself out of whatever hole she had been falling into.

"Damn Bal, how 'bout wait until I'm wearing armor before you take a blow like that!"

He laughed, pulling her into another smothering hug. "And you thought my allegory was dreadful."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter III**

 _2nd of Sun's Dusk 4E202_

She took her leave from the Blacksmith with a promise that she would take care of herself and find something worthwhile to spend her time on. With one last giant Nord bear hug, the type that never failed to make her feel downright dainty, she left.

She was loathe to admit it, but she really wanted a drink after that conversation. It had been much more onerous than she would have ever expected, giving new life to the ever present, constant hum in the back of her mind that she tried so hard to silence.

To herself, barely audible, she spoke. "Just join a guild or somethin', Kai" she mocked, mimicking the words of the Blacksmith from moments earlier. "Meet some people, make some friends, bang a Stormcloak" she continued, walking in no particular direction. She let out a single humorless laugh, "yeah, I'm too damn sober for this shit" she concluded, giving herself the excuse she needed to justify more mead.

She looked around for a destination, quickly dismissing the Bee and Barb from her options. There was no way in Oblivion she was walking back in there after last night. Haelga's was also out of the question since it had been added to her blacklist during her last visit to Riften. The only option left to her was the Black-Briar Meadery and while she detested the woman who owned the place, she had no other choice.

As she made her way towards the door to the meadery, she was stopped by a hand on her shoulder. Whoever it was didn't turn her around, but instead just leaned against her back and spoke into her ear.

"Care to join me for a drink, lass?"

She turned to face the familiar rogue behind her, shooting him a look of incredulity. "You know the rules, Brynjolf. If you're buying, I'm drinking."

He rolled his eyes at her answer but it seemed to be good enough for him as he placed his hand in the small of her back, directing her towards the Bee and Barb. When she realized where they were headed, she put a hand out to stop him, causing a knowing smirk to appear on his face. "What's the matter, lass? The Barb not good enough for ya anymore?"

She glared in his direction. "Not today, Bryn."

"Bad night?" he asked, feigning ignorance.

"Not sure, don't remember. This morning sure was awkward though," she joked, bringing forth a familiar, amused crinkle at the corner of her companion's eyes. "I've had some good memories in that inn, but I am perfectly content with never stepping foot in there again."

Brynjolf let out a genuine laugh at her shamelessness before conceding, "You win, lass. Black-Briar Meadery it is then."

With bottles in hand, they settled in at the table in the corner of the meadery. Kaiya relaxed, propping her feet up on an unoccupied chair as she took a long sip. "So, to what do I owe this pleasure, Bryn?"

"Right to the point, aren't ya?" he teased, eyes playful as they watched for her response.

"Oh come off it, ya damn swindler" she retorted, irritated with his charm. "I appreciate the mead, but I know you well enough to know that you won't spend a septim on anyone unless you see some type of opportunity, so out with it."

"You already know what I'm going to say, lass" he said, not easing off his charm in the slightest.

She groaned, taking another long sip from her bottle. "Figures."

"I don't understand why I haven't seen you in the Flagon yet," he continued, leaning across the table towards her. "You were magnificent that day in the market and seemed to really enjoy yourself. I just don't understand the hesitation."

"I told you Brynjolf, I have no desire to join your little thief club."

"Guild!" he growled defensively through clenched teeth, a little louder than he intended. "It's a guild!" He looked around, ensuring he had not piqued anyone's interest into their conversation with his outburst. She laughed, taking another sip from her bottle before dropping her feet from the chair and turning to face him at the table.

"Fine" she sighed dramatically, smirking at the irritated Nord sitting across from her. "You've got my attention, Bryn."

"Just come down and see what we're about," he urged. "If you don't think it's for you, you'll be free to go on your way and I'll leave you alone about it once and for all."

One eyebrow raised in cautious interest as she contemplated his proposal. "You drive a hard bargain, I'll give you that. You're lucky you caught me on a particularly boring day."

Determined not to lose the small window of opportunity she had just presented to him, Brynjolf turned the full brunt of his charm onto her, leaning forward as if he were about to let her in on a closely guarded secret. A devious smile crept onto his face and his eyes, magnetic and full of tantalizing promise, locked her in.

"Come on lass, what've you got to lose?"

* * *

 _3rd of Sun's Dusk 4E202_

Lydia was tired. She had been out in the Plains district for most of the afternoon, bartering with vendors and talking with the residents of Whiterun, answering the same questions she got every day. "Where's the Dragonborn at these days? When will the Dragonborn be back?" Always about the Dragonborn, as if she knew any better than they did where her Thane was. She would answer them the same way every time, "I'm not sure, but I'll let you know if I hear anything from her." Did no one else notice that their conversations never changed?

She fumbled in her pockets with her free hand for the key to Breezehome, the other arm full with food and supplies she had purchased at the market. With a click, the door unlocked and groaned open, allowing the housecarl to step inside, shutting the door behind her with her foot. She moved into the dining area and set down her load, arms aching with the effort. She tilted her head to the left then right, stretching out her sore muscles when she heard the faintest creak in the wooden boards above her head.

Her senses perked up, suddenly alert at the possibility that she was not alone. She quietly unsheathed the sword at her side and crept up the stairs, pausing on each one as to not make the same mistake as the intruder. As she stepped onto the landing, she heard the soft rustling of fabric and the muffled sound of a grunt. She zeroed in on the direction of the noise, no doubt coming from her Thane's bedroom. She took a deep breath to ready her nerves before she made her move.

With a fierce battle cry and her sword held high, the Nord flung open the door to the master bedroom, charging in. She was met with the terrified shriek of the intruder, who tried to run away before slamming into the foot of the bed and hitting the floor, hard. Lydia stopped in her tracks by the sight, holding back laughter. There was her Thane, squirming around on the floor, bottom half only covered by her underclothes while the top half struggled to free herself from a tight black and red cuirass.

Lydia watched in amusement as the Dragonborn continued to writhe on the floor until her energy waned, resigning to lay still, her head, arms and torso still completely trapped in the oppressive garment. "Do what you will," she sighed, "I have no fight left." The housecarl could not hold back her laughter any longer, and her entire body shook from the force.

"I do believe this may be the easiest victory I've ever achieved," Lydia squeaked, tears running down her face. "And against the almighty Dragonborn, no less." The half cuirass, half human figure turned to face the Nord, making Lydia laugh even harder at the ridiculousness of it all.

"Lydia?!" the Dragonborn shrieked, relieved and mortified at the same time. "Sweet Sithis Lydia, if you tell anyone about this I swear I'll kill you."

"I'm sure you will, my Thane."

Still giggling to herself, Lydia could not resist helping the poor, pathetic Dragonborn out of her trap any longer. She bent over and picked the tiny Breton up with ease, propping her up on her feet. Grabbing the bottom of the leather cuirass, she pulled as the other squirmed, working together to free her head through the appropriate hole. Kaiya gasped, finally able to breathe easily again while Lydia continued to help her put on the rest of her armor.

"I uh," Kaiya uttered, embarrassed, "I guess I've changed a bit since I last squeezed into these bad boys."

Lydia took a step back to look at her Thane, standing in obvious discomfort at the tightness of her leather armor. "Yeah Kaiya, a lifestyle of nothing but mead'll do that to you."

Kaiya's eyes narrowed at her housecarl, knowing full well she looked far too ridiculous at the moment to disagree. "Dammit Lydia, help me out of these will ya?"

The corner of Lydia's mouth turned up into a playful smile before acquiescing to the Dragonborn's request. "What were you putting these on for anyway?"

"Hmph, uh, I've got a thing I gotta do," the Dragonborn grumbled as Lydia peeled the armor off of her, pulling her body around with it.

"A thing, huh?" Lydia taunted, though she had no intention of prying any further. If she knew anything about her Thane it was that trying to get her to spill information she did not care to spill was an exercise in futility. "Why not just wear your robes?"

"I wanted a bit of a change, I'm bored with robes." Lydia rolled her eyes at her Thane's restlessness. "But I need to be sleek and stealthy," Kaiya replied, looking over her old Dark Brotherhood leathers as they laid crumpled on the floor. "Plus, my robes smell like a Skeever den right now."

"Don't you have robes that match those leathers?" Lydia asked innocently, nodding her head towards the armor on the floor. She was referring to her Thane's shrouded robes and although Lydia did not know what those robes were originally for, she knew the Dragonborn used to wear them often when a job called for her to stay hidden. Kaiya seemed to get nervous at the question, perplexing the well-meaning housecarl.

"Yeah, I uh.." Kaiya mumbled in response, "I lost those robes."

"You OK, boss?" Lydia asked, noticing her Thane's sudden anxiety. Kaiya was fidgeting around on the balls of her feet, eyes fixated on nothing in particular and her fingers absentmindedly fondling the ring she kept on a chain around her neck.

"What?" Kaiya's attention snapped back to the conversation, "Yeah. Yeah I'm fine. I'll just have to wear the stinky robes. It'll be fine." She nodded, seemingly trying to convince herself of this statement as much as the housecarl.

"Okaaaaay," Lydia responded, confused at what caused the sudden change. "Come on, Kai. You've got to at least have another robe you can wear. Or let me wash the stinky one."

"Yeah I have other robes," Kaiya answered with hesitation, anxiously fondling the ring around her neck while bouncing around, obviously trying to release some nervous tension. "But don't worry about it. Let's go downstairs and have a drink. The stinky ones are fine."

"As your housecarl, I can't let you out of Whiterun smelling like a skeever, Kai." Lydia chided. "Where do you keep your robes?" she asked as she begun to open one of the drawers to the dresser.

"No, not that one!" Kaiya cried out, but it was too late.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter IV**

 _3rd of Sun's Dusk 4E202_

As Lydia pulled open the drawer, they were both assaulted by the overwhelming odor of smoke and oil that clung to the fabric of the robes inside. Lydia coughed in surprise, waving her arm in front of her face to dispel the stench. "Talos, Kai! These things stink! Oh look, it's the robe you said you lost..." She looked over her shoulder towards her Thane, preparing to lecture her on the importance of washing her clothes before she put them away when she noticed Kaiya's blank, panicked expression.

That smell.

Kaiya sat on the edge of her bed, frozen in place at the onslaught of memories brought on by the smell. Her eyes were wide, staring forward at nothing, her posture rigid and straight. The only part of her that moved at all was the frantic, erratic dancing of her fingers, desperately rolling the ring around her neck in circles.

Lydia was baffled, "Kaiya! What in Oblivion is going on?" The Dragonborn continued to stare forward, now clutching the ring around her neck in her hand as tears started to form in her eyes.

"Lydia. I need you do to me a favor." Her voice was an eerie calm, casting a formidable tone to her words.

"Anything, what is it?"

"I need you to wash those robes for me, please. Wash them until they don't smell that way anymore. Take them from this house and wash them until they smell like lavender or mountain flower or fuck, they can smell like a damn troll for all I care, just please make them stop smelling like that."

Lydia nodded, rushing downstairs with the offending garments and out the door. The thought of what could have happened to make them smell the way they did terrified her, but not as much as it seemed to terrify her Thane.

The door to Breezehome slammed as Lydia rushed out, leaving Kaiya alone in her smallclothes, trying to piece herself back together. She slowly laid back onto her bed, rolling onto her side and pulling her knees up to her chest. With her eyes squeezed tightly shut, the memories began.

* * *

 _ **15th of Last Seed 4E201**_

Kaiya heaved open the doors to Dead Man's Drink as she stumbled in, tripping on her newly acquired monk robes that were much too long. The doors slammed behind her, causing Kaiya to wince.

 _Sure Kai, draw MORE attention to yourself. That was the plan._

She was lucky that she had arrived in Falkreath so early. There were very few residents awake at the hour, and even fewer of them had made their way to the inn. She slowly glided her way up to the counter, trying to be as graceful as possible in the robes that were practically swallowing her small frame. Casually, she threw her elbow up on the counter to give the barkeep a charismatic grin, hoping that made up for the awkward entrance. The barkeep stared back at her with a raised eyebrow, undoubtedly too interested to see where this would go to be the one to speak first.

"Anything good on the menu for a traveling priestess?" Kaiya asked, throwing as much charm as possible into the question.

At this, the barkeep's face morphed from skeptical interest into one of recognition. "You must be Runil's new apprentice!" A smile stretched across the Imperial's face, excited to have the opportunity of being the first to meet the anticipated new arrival.

 _Uh oh. Who?!_

Time to turn up the charm. "Right yes, the new apprentice to Runil, priest of…"

"Arkay!" the barkeep beamed.

"Yes, Arkay. I'm the new apprentice priestess of Arkay. Benevolence of Arkay upon you, my child. And your name?" Kaiya diverted, trying desperately to take attention away from herself.

"I'm Valga. This is my inn, Dead Man's Drink. Would you like something to eat, Priestess? Unfortunately, I am unable to give it to you on the house, but I would be happy to serve you."

"Oh," Kaiya responded, putting on the air of a highly disappointed holy woman. "Well this is most unfortunate. As I spent my last septim on the carriage to travel here, I have nothing to offer you for food. Is there nothing you could spare for a poor, hungry priestess of Arkay?"

Before Valga could reply, a voice chimed in from the darkened corner, startling both barkeep and Priestess.

"Valga are you really going to let this poor woman go hungry? She's a priestess for divines' sake! Just give her whatever she wants and put it on my tab. I, for one, do not want to anger the gods today." The voice said, low and rumbling, like the sound stones made when they grinded into each other.

Valga's face went red with embarrassment, as she nodded once towards the voice and once towards the hungry priestess, standing before her. "What will you have?" she asked, unable to make eye contact with the priestess any longer. Kaiya smirked. "I don't mean to be a bother, Valga. Whatever you have to offer would suffice." Valga nodded again, still without looking up, before taking her leave to go fetch the priestess something to eat.

"Priestess!" It was the gravelly voice again. "Come sit with me while you eat. That's all I'd ask in return."

Kaiya's instincts screamed a warning at this, but she had no choice but to comply. The voice had paid for her to be able to eat after all, and she desperately needed to eat. She approached the corner, finding an older man in black mage robes as the source of the voice, eyes narrowed at her with suspicion. She sat down across from him, mumbling a 'thank you' and some form of 'the benevolence of Arkay' to him.

"Cut the crap." The old mage spat, leaning forward to put his elbows on the table between them. Kaiya's face took on a mask of confusion, pretending to be perplexed by his statement while her mind screamed. He had seen through her performance.

The mage looked past her, indicating the incoming presence of the barkeep. They sat quietly as she was served some bread, a bowl of tomato soup and a tankard of ale. Kaiya's mouth watered at the scent, but in order to regain some of her composure, took a quick sip of her ale. As Valga walked away, the mage nodded at her food, encouraging her to eat. She leapt at the opportunity, devouring the meal in front of her.

"A word of advice," said the mage as Kaiya gorged herself, his eyes crinkling at the corners with what seemed to be sheer amusement at the current situation. "While I thoroughly respect your choice of disguise, next time consider learning a thing or two about the deity you claim to represent first."

Kaiya closed her eyes in shame before opening them to find the mage still wearing the same amused expression. "That obvious, huh?" she mumbled, mouth full of bread.

The mage laughed, "well first of all, 'benevolence' is a blessing used by priests of Mara, not Arkay." Kaiya shrugged sheepishly at her mistake. She did not know much about the 8 (or was it 9?) divines. The mage continued, "I'm also pretty sure Runil's going to notice he has a robe missing. You're bold, I'll give you that. Scrawny little scoundrel like yourself, stealing a robe from a high elf and trying to pass it off as your own," this caused the mage to chuckle, shaking his head at her shamelessness. "That's rich."

Kaiya nodded at the mocking compliment, eyes fixated on the mage while she continued to devour her meal. "Hey, better than what I was wearing before," she laughed, crumbs flying out of her mouth. "Why are you telling me this? You some expert on disguises, old man? Are you wearing one now? Are you really just a bunch of skeevers dressed in a mage robe?"

The mage smirked at this. "Feisty one, aren't ya? For your information, I have no use for disguises. I'm too damn old to worry about pretending to be someone I'm not. Disguises are for suckers."

Kaiya raised an eyebrow at his retort. "Touchy, are we?" she teased.

"Ha!" The mage scoffed at her jab, but then refocused, not to be deterred from his point. "Anyway," he declared, dramatically. "As I was saying, more than either of these missteps, what drew my attention to you was your hands." The mage's tone had dropped, indicating that this conversation was moving toward the serious. Kaiya's eyes darted to her hands, noticing for the first time that they were tinged with a dark red. Her stomach dropped.

"I know those stains when I see them, Priestess." the mage mocked, throwing in her false title. "Those are blood stains. No use in denying it."

She didn't deny it. She just stared at the old mage. _Who was this man? What was happening?_ He didn't seem mad or even judgmental at the thought that she may have killed someone before she made her way into the inn. In fact, he seemed almost impressed with her.

"Where did you come from?" he asked, a note of fascination in his gravelly voice. "Who are you?"

Kaiya smirked, adding a little suspense to her answer. "Well old man," she leaned forward, with an almost predatory grin, "I could tell ya, but then I'd have to kill ya."

"I'm willing to take that risk." he responded without hesitation.

She sighed dramatically, rolling her eyes. "Well you may be observant but you sure as hell aren't good at taking hints," she teased.

"Fine." He stated, clearly not getting anywhere with the stubborn girl. "We'll start easy. What's your name?"

Kaiya took a long gulp from her tankard, wiping her mouth and letting out a sigh. She began to stand up from the table as she spoke. "I appreciate the food, old man," she said, dodging his question. "But alas, I must now go tend to the… uh… Arkay business… I have." She threw the old mage a wink before he grabbed her wrist, preventing her from leaving.

"Tell me your name, priestess."

"It's Kaiya," she answered honestly, seeing no reason to make up an alias. He'd just see through it anyway.

He released her wrist and nodded, appreciatively. "See, that wasn't so hard was it, priestess?"

"Why'd I tell you my name if you're going to keep calling me priestess, old man?" she taunted as she stood, hands on her hips. "What's your name, huh? Quid pro quo."

"Ah see," the mage smiled and shook his head. "You should have said that before you told me your name if that's what you wanted." Kaiya sighed heavily and started to turn to leave. She was in no mood for any more games. Plus, the real priest of Arkay may walk in at any moment and that would put her in a really awkward position. She had to get moving.

"Priestess!" the old man yelled as she retreated. She turned to face him. "Next time you find yourself in Falkreath, come find me!" She laughed, "And how am I supposed to do that if I don't know your name, old man?"

"Leave a message for me with Valga, she'll know what to do. Just tell her you'd like to speak with your crazy Uncle Festus."

"Sure old man," she laughed as she turned to go. "See ya around!"

"I'm sure you will" he replied to her back as she pushed open the doors and left, just as mysterious as she was when she entered.

* * *

The tears began to come as memories overtook her, first just one, sliding down her cheek, then two, then three. Before she could react, the floodgates opened. She sobbed. She sobbed harder than she thought possible, her heart feeling as if it were breaking all over again. The sobs ripped from her chest as her mind was flooded with one memory after another, her body convulsing as she cried out for someone, anyone to make it stop.

Through the sobs and torment, one hand stayed clasped, white-knuckled and defiant, holding on for life to the silver ring she wore on a chain around her neck.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter V**

 _5th of Sun's Dusk 4E202_

The cool air that accompanied nights in Riften was a blessing, calming the heat of her frayed nerves. Since she had left Whiterun, her emotions had been erratic, going from sorrow to hyperactive excitement in a matter of minutes. The incident with her old shrouded robes had really shaken her, it seemed. Unexpected flashbacks and sudden panic had become an unfortunate common occurrence for her, but she was determined to keep her current positivity in place. She was doing something! No need to think of the past any more, she was moving forward again. _With a purpose_.

Kaiya stood at the door to the Ratway, mentally preparing herself for what was to come. Her newly clean black mage robes clung to her back where she couldn't seem to stop sweating, but her eyes stayed focused ahead. This was it. She had made this exact trip before, twice actually, to meet with one of the fences in the Thieves Guild. She shook her head, fighting off the clutches of nostalgia at the thought, and pushed inside.

She crept forward, not wanting to reveal herself to any of the Ratway's inhabitants if she didn't have to. To her surprise, there wasn't much resistance to her infiltration. She had done a pretty decent job of clearing it out before and apparently the Ratway did not repopulate quickly. After making quick work of a few skeevers and avoiding confrontation with a woman rambling off items she was in possession of, she made her way to the door of the Ragged Flagon.

 _Well Kai, this is it._

She entered the underground bar, making her way to where several members of the guild were congregated. From what she could hear of their conversation, they were talking about her.

"How many times have we heard this before?" spat a thin, Imperial woman with short, blonde hair. Kaiya couldn't help but notice that everything about the woman seemed... _sharp_. Her bone structure, her posture, her attitude.

"I'm telling you, this one's different." was Brynjolf's reply, causing Kaiya to roll her eyes and inwardly groan at his blind faith.

"Yeah, you mentioned that the last time you invited her down here, Bryn." This guy was not wearing the same armor as the rest of the congregation, but his attire immediately identified him as the barkeep to the Ragged Flagon. Kaiya scoffed in her head at this, the thought that the bartender would be weighing in on a conversation between the thieves. She made a mental note that the stereotype of bartenders knowing everything that goes on was true here too, apparently. He spoke again, "she didn't show last time and it's looking like she probably won't show this time. If she's as great as you say she is," he practically spat out the word 'great' with as much condescension as he could muster. "I would think she'd want nothing to do with us."

There was only one other thief in the room, one which Kaiya recognized. He had not contributed to the conversation with the other thieves, but instead sat at a table off to the side, drinking from a tankard. Her mind began racing to try to remember his name. _Delvin, right? Or was it Damian? Devon? No, no it's definitely Delvin, because I remember making a joke about 'delving in.' Ugh, good one Kai. Gods, I hope he doesn't remember that._

"Well color me impressed lass!" she heard Brynjolf say, snapping out of her thoughts when she realized he was speaking to her now. "I didn't expect to see you again!"

"Whatever Brynjolf," she said, rolling her eyes at the thief. He seemed to make her do that quite often, she noticed. "You and I both know I'm here just so you'll shut up."

The Imperial woman let out a breath that sounded almost like a laugh. "Looks like Brynjolf's got his hands full with this one, eh?" she murmured under her breath to the barkeep.

Brynjolf, unfazed by the jab, smirked at the new recruit. "Aye lass, well, whatever the case, you've still got to prove yourself before you're in."

Kaiya narrowed her eyes at the provocation. "I expected as much Brynjolf. I'd be a little hesitant to join if your guild just accepted anyone that could make it to the bar."

"Glad to see we're on the same page then," Brynjolf replied tersely as he crossed his arms in annoyance. It was one thing when she spoke to him like that when they were equals but down here, in front of the other guild members, he was in charge. Kaiya felt his aggravation at her insubordination hit her like a slap. Her thoughts began their intervention, trying to slow her tongue before it could do more damage. _Shut up, Kai! You're going to ruin this before you even get started! Just keep your damn mouth shut for once!_

"Sorry," she apologized. "I guess it's been awhile since I've had any type of superior, really. I'll shut up." She looked down, appearing almost sheepish.

Brynjolf was taken aback at her unsolicited submission. He knew better than to assume she was intimidated by him, but her sudden change in demeanor left him speechless for a few moments while he adapted his approach. He nodded once, showing his approval. "Very good. Let's get started then, shall we?"

* * *

Brynjolf was happy for the first time in what felt like ages. Things seemed to finally be looking up. He had just sent his new recruit, the one he had been practically begging to join up, out on her first job. He took a long sip from his bottle of mead in a silent congratulations to himself before his moment was interrupted.

"Hiya Bryn, ya have a minute?" Delvin sat at the stool next to him at the bar before Brynjolf could respond, making the decision for him. "About that new recruit…"

"Yeah? What about her?" Brynjolf asked, defensively.

"Don't you recognize her?" Delvin asked.

"Recognize her from what, Delvin?" Brynjolf spat, quickly becoming frustrated. "I've known her for a while now. Of course I recognize her."

"From here. From the Flagon."

Brynjolf turned to face the Breton next to him, brows furrowed in confusion and annoyance. "What do you mean from the Flagon, Delvin? Just tell me what you're getting at already."

"She came down here on business a few months back, twice actually." Delvin explained. "She is the one that sold us that amulet of the elder council."

Brynjolf's eyes widened in surprise. He remembered that amulet well. It was one of the best finds they had laid their collective hands on in years. "That's a good thing, right?"

"Depends on how you feel about the Dark Brotherhood" Delvin responded with a shrug.

"And what does the Dark Brotherhood have to do with this?"

"That's who sold me the amulet." Delvin's face was serious, leaning forward to drive in his point. "Your new recruit is the Listener of the Dark Brotherhood, Bryn."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter VI**

 _5th of Sun's Dusk 4E202_

Kaiya jogged back towards the Ratway, gold jingling at her side with every step. She had completed her first job for the Thieves Guild, feeling a little smug about her accomplishments. As soon as Brynjolf gave her the details of the job, she knew she'd do well. It may not be something she was proud of, but blackmail was one of her strong suits.

She entered the Flagon, waltzing up to the bar where Brynjolf sat alone, having a drink. She leaned against the counter, facing the thief with a grin spread wide across her face. "Aye, the prodigy has returned!" he joked, giving her his full attention. "So lass, how'd it go?"

Kaiya held up the full coin purse in front of him, shaking it to make the coins jingle. Brynjolf smiled, snatching the purse from her hands and checking the contents. "It looks like you got it all!" he exclaimed and began to count out the coins in small stacks on the counter. "And your marks are all still alive, I hope?"

"Yep, every one of them" she beamed, "although Haelga tested my resolve. I can't stand that woman." She crossed her arms, remembering their interaction from earlier. "She acts like she owns sex itself, like the mere knowledge that people do it on their own without her benefitting from it offends her in some way. The way men treat her like she's the living embodiment of an orgasm doesn't help either. Do they not see it?!"

Brynjolf chucked to himself at her description. She wasn't wrong. He found it thoroughly amusing when Kaiya would rant about people that made her angry, so he encouraged her to continue. "What about Bersi?"

"Ugh" she scoffed. "That guy's just a giant, quivering lip. I didn't even have to say anything to him before he started handing over the coin. Guess word got around that I had paid a visit to the others that owed the guild."

"And Keerava?"

"She owed me from the last time I was in her establishment," Kaiya said, carefully choosing her words. "She knew it. I didn't have to say much, just reminded her that she had been incredibly... inhospitable." Her lips curled into a predatory grin as she relived the encounter in her mind and suddenly Brynjolf could see the assassin Delvin claimed her to be.

Brynjolf raised an eyebrow at the mysterious way she described her interaction with Keerava, but thought it best not to ask questions. "As long as she's alive, I don't need to know details."

Kaiya gave a tight lipped smile before replying, "oh yeah, she's alive. And you should have all your money."

"Aye lass, a job well done. Here's your payment." He slid three stacks of the coins he had been counting over to her and raked the rest into the open coin purse.

"Right." She swept the coins from the counter into her own coin purse, focusing her attention back onto the redhead, giving him a half hearted smile to seem appreciative. "Thanks for the coin." She sat in silence for a moment looking at the counter, deep in concentration.

"What's on your mind, Kaiya?" Brynjolf asked cautiously, not sure he wanted to know whatever it was she was rolling around in her head.

"It's just," Kaiya fidgeted, trying to phrase her thoughts. "It's just… is there something going on with the guild, Bryn?"

"Ah, I see." He nodded, facing his apprentice. "You've heard rumors that the guild's in a bad way. I won't lie to you lass, we've seen better days. Ol' Delvin thinks we've been cursed." He laughed humorlessly. "Me? I think it's just a string of bad luck. But we're going to turn that around, don't you worry about it."

"So where do I fit in with all this?" she asked, straight to the point.

Brynjolf laughed, once again without humor. "Well, you've proven your worth as far as I'm concerned. You're exactly what this outfit needs to get us out of this rut."

"No pressure or anything," Kaiya mocked playfully. "Wait! Are you saying I'm in?"

"I was wondering when you were going to pick up on that," he teased. Kaiya beamed for a brief moment before her face turned serious.

"Don't hedge all your bets on me, Brynjolf" she warned, no longer joking. "Don't put me on some pedestal with grandiose expectations I could never live up to. That's not fair to anyone."

Brynjolf gave her a sad smile, confirming that he really believed she'd be the one to bring the guild back. Kaiya sighed and rolled her eyes, an exasperated smile forming on her face at his blind faith.

"I swear to the divines Brynjolf, your stubborn Nord insistence on romanticizing everything into some Bard's song is going to get you in trouble one day."

"Well, at least I'm romantic" he crooned, "that's more than I could say for some Nords."

She laughed, shoving his shoulder. "Come off it, ya damn swindler! I swear you must be part Breton with your damned silver tongue."

"Speaking of Bretons," he interjected, "It's time for you to meet your Guildmaster."

Kaiya scoffed, "Why am I not surprised that the master of the Thieves Guild is a Breton? Way to fulfill a stereotype there, Guildmaster." Brynjolf looked at her with sheer bewilderment as she jabbed her own people, causing a laugh to burst forth from Kaiya. He wasn't used to her self deprecation yet, it seemed.

"Have I ever told you the story of when the pot met the kettle?" he smirked. "Romantic story, really. Come with me, I'll tell you all about it."

Kaiya walked behind the thief as he made his way through a false panel in a closet and into a giant, open space, noisy with the sounds of talking thieves and rushing water. "Welcome to the cistern," Brynjolf proclaimed as he placed a hand at the small of her back, guiding her through as if it were a grand hall in a palace. In fact, if grand halls were judged by their ability to awe, the cistern might just count as one.

It was vast enough to create an echo, perfectly circular with a stone walkway making its way around the perimeter. The entire room hovered above a large pool of water being fed by several pipes along the walls, water cascading out from them like a fountain. This was obviously a sewer, but the smell was not what she expected. It smelled clean, like the smell after a heavy rain. Two stone bridges crossed over the water, meeting in the center to create a platform. The bridges seemed to cut the space into four quadrants, each of which included a stone arch and separate door, much like the one she just walked through from the Flagon. The stone walkway that worked around the perimeter was bustling with thieves, talking, practicing their skills with a bow, cooking or even sleeping on one of the many beds that were dispersed throughout.

She continued looking around, neck craned to see the top of the very high ceiling and the banners hung against the walls, unaware that Brynjolf was guiding her to the center platform over the water. At one point she actually turned around, walking backwards to take it all in. She hadn't noticed the angry Breton standing in the center as they approached.

"Mercer, this is the new recruit I was telling you about." Brynjolf gestured to the gawking woman next to him, her back to the conversation.

Mercer glared at the back of this new recruit, not even paying attention to her own induction. "This better not be another waste of the guild's resources, Brynjolf." was the Guildmaster's reply, reverberating and deep as it left his chest, striking his second-in-command like a blow from a hammer.

Brynjolf grabbed Kaiya's arm, spinning her around to force her to pay attention. "Kaiya!" he snapped through gritted teeth. "I said this is your Guildmaster, Mercer Frey." His tone was sharp and cutting, and his hand on her arm squeezed painfully. She looked into Brynjolf's glare and winced, before turning to look at her new Guildmaster.

"Mercer, this is my new recruit, Kaiya" Brynjolf gestured towards her, coaxing the Guildmaster to acknowledge her presence. The Guildmaster let his focus slowly gaze over to the girl, their eyes meeting for the first time.

Kaiya's mouth dropped open in shock, eyes wide as she stared. _It's… HIM!_ Her shock morphed into curiosity, eyebrows raised with unspoken questions.

Mercer's reaction was much more subdued, eyes widening with surprise but only for an instant. As quickly as the recognition had hit Mercer's face, it vanished, leaving his signature aggravated scowl in its place. No one could have possibly noticed, no one except the new recruit standing before him.

"Nice to meet you, Mercer." A smile danced across her lips, ending in a smirk. A smirk that told Mercer loud and clear that she knew exactly what she had seen in his expression, even just for a moment.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter VII**

 _14th of Frost Fall 4E201_

Of three things Kaiya was certain: she was hungry, she was exhausted, and she had not a septim to her name. She arrived in Riften as dusk turned to night, determined to find a hot meal, a bottle of good mead and a bed to sleep in. She would just need to get creative about the coin, a predicament that was not new to her.

Opening the door just wide enough for her to slip through, she entered the Bee and Barb. At the sight of the crowded room, she pulled up the hood of her monk robes to obscure her face as she began to make her way into the inn.

"Whoa there priestess," came the voice of a man sitting on a bench to her left, "you in need of protecting by a capable mage such as myself?"

Kaiya darted her eyes to the source of the proposition. An Imperial, no doubt, with dark brown hair tied back and wearing mage robes. "No, thank you. Mara protects me" she mumbled, eyes cast downward.

"Mara? Oh, nevermind" the mage replied. "I thought you were a priestess of Dibella."

Kaiya suppressed her gagged response, settling only for a curt nod in order to stay in character.

She moved on, the hem of her tailored robes lightly brushing the floor as she walked. Despite the conspicuous saffron color she wore, she was able to glide virtually unnoticed through the crowded room. Her head kept down in feigned modesty, her eyes darted around the inn, evaluating each patron and taking in as much information as possible. She kept up the act, needing to establish herself as a humble priestess in order for this con to work.

The disguise must have been better than she thought, because soon a hand placed on her shoulder forced her to stop. She spun to face an agitated Argonian. "I already told Maramal that preaching was not tolerated in my establishment!" _This must be one of the Argonians that owns the place_ , she thought to herself, mentally preparing her defense.

"I'm not here to preach, sir" her eyes remained cast down in a show of submission. "I am only here to pass along some of Mara's blessings to those who wish for it. I'm not one for sermons."

The Argonian glared, skeptical of her response. He'd heard that one before. "Very well, priestess, but if I so much as hear a tone that sounds remotely preachy, you're out. I've had enough of you people driving out my customers with your judgmental monologues."

She nodded, eyes cast downward. "I understand. You'll hear nothing of the sort from me. I'm only here to offer blessings."

"You'll need to buy something too," he grumbled. "I've lost my patience with loiterers."

Kaiya took her leave from the conversation, feeling aggravated that some jackass had been in here preaching and ruining her perfect plan. _Damn zealots._ Her spirits dampened, she made her way to the bar, hoping she could at least flirt her way into some coin since her go to camouflage was possibly compromised. Her eyes shifted to the other patrons sitting at the counter where she spotted a well dressed dark elf sitting at the bar by himself. _Jackpot!_

"Hi there," she cooed at the Dunmer as she stepped up to the counter next to him, flashing him a flirtatious smile. "I'm in a bit of a predicament, do you think you could help me?" she asked, her expression offering licentious promise. The dark elf turned to her and his scowl softened considerably at the sight of the young Breton.

"Well, what do you need?" he asked with a smile, leaning towards her suggestively. _Got him._

"I'm new in town and I was told I needed to buy a drink to stay here, but I'm a little unversed in mead. Could you help me pick something?" She softly laid her hand on his forearm, the touch not going unnoticed by the Dunmer.

"Well, you're in luck pretty lady! This is Riften, home of the best mead in all of Skyrim. I suggest the Black-Briar reserve, it's our specialty." Their faces were mere inches apart, the Dunmer moving closer and closer with every moment. "In fact, I brew it myself. I run the Black-Briar meadery, you see."

While Kaiya inwardly groaned at his shameless ego stroking, outwardly she feigned complete interest as if it were incredibly impressive.

"Oh really? I need to taste it then, to see if it's as delicious as you claim." She licked her lips, smiling at the Dunmer with her eyes. "Only, there's just one problem." She looked away, her face now one of concern.

"Mmm, and what's that, blue eyes?" He was entranced. A struggling animal caught in the web of a hungry Frostbite spider.

She sheepishly looked to the left, then right, acting as if she didn't want anyone to overhear. Her eyes locking onto the elf's, she leaned forward from where she was positioned between his legs, rising up on her toes to be able to whisper in his ear. Her hand moved from his forearm to graze down his side, her other hand on his shoulder, gliding around to his back. "I haven't had any mead in a long time, do you think I'll be able to handle it?" she whispered, feeling his entire body go rigid at all the sensations she threw at him. She pulled back, biting her lip as she eyed him, his dark skin flushed. He grinned, "oh yes, I'm sure you could handle it."

She turned from the elf in an instant, trying to catch Keerava's attention to order her mead. The elf placed his hand on her back, watching her every move as he fantasized about where this would lead. Kaiya ordered a bottle of mead, but did not take her companion's recommendation, not that he noticed. She brought out her coin purse, counted out the coins to pay for her mead and handed them to the bartender. Once the transaction was complete, she turned to the hypnotized Dunmer and leaned forward to whisper in his ear once more, this time with much less contact. "Let's get out of here, huh? I'll meet you at Haelga's in an hour."

She winked as she turned away from the stunned Dunmer, disengaging from him completely. He hurried out of the bar to prepare for what he thought promised to be an erotic night. Kaiya smiled as she imagined his reaction the moment he realized she would not be meeting him, but that smile turned to a sinful grin as she imagined the moment he realized he was also one coin purse lighter. She congratulated herself with a sip of mead, feeling encouraged to keep going. _Back in the game_.

* * *

Mercer Frey sat in his preferred corner of the Bee and Barb, perfectly obscured by the fireplace. His meeting with Maven had ended a few tankards of mead ago but yet he lingered, still unable to calm his damn nerves. That woman was maddening. He stared blankly out at the rest of the inn as his thoughts screamed in anger. His mind mentally shouted all the things he wished he could have yelled at her face, a fantasy he found himself diving into much more frequently as of late. He took a quick draw from the bottle of mead in front of him, then continued staring at nothing in particular.

If he had blinked he would have missed it. The quick fingers in and out of a pocket. The owner of the pocket was unaware, but he had seen it. He squinted his eyes, trying to get a view of the perpetrator, who was currently obscured by a giant Nord ranting about the Empire. When he finally got a glimpse, he was taken aback with surprise. _A priest? No!_ His eyes narrowed even more, noticing the way her robe was tailored to fit snugly around her small frame, her movements starkly feminine. "A priest _ess_ " he thought, eyebrows shooting up with surprise. Well at least he'd be entertained for the night.

He watched as she weaved in and out of the congregations of people, feigning piety as she bowed to patrons and wished them the benevolence of Mara. She casually backed into a well dressed Nord sitting at a table, relieving him of his coin purse as she pretended to check if he was all right. Like a true holy woman, she propped up a drunkard who had passed out at a table, praying over him as she helped him sit upright. Only unlike a holy woman, she also helped herself to the contents of his pockets. Completely falling for her act, several men actually approached the charlatan, asking her to bless them. She complied, taking it upon herself to accept a donation from the men for her efforts. One by one, he watched as this mysterious woman in a monk robe, much too brightly colored to be considered stealthy, emptied the pockets of almost everyone who was unlucky enough to enter the inn. He caught himself leaning back in his chair, an amused grin on his face as he watched the show. It wasn't often that Mercer was impressed, but this performance piqued his interest. He wondered when she would finally notice him, the man in the dark corner, blending in with the shadows that danced around the fireplace.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter VIII**

 _14th of Frost Fall 4E201_

" _One more,_ " she told herself, knowing if she kept going at this rate it was only a matter of time before someone caught on. " _One more then I'll get a room. Oh and some food._ " She had been so caught up in her own little challenge that she had completely forgotten about how hungry she was. Typical.

She spotted her last hapless victim, a drunk Nord stumbling towards the exit. This would be easy. She approached the man, acting the part of a concerned disciple of Mara, as she helped escort him to the door. She wrapped his arm around her neck for support while her arm went around his waist, positioned perfectly to make her move when the time was right. As soon as they were out of the line of sight of Keerava, Kaiya stuck out her foot, tripping the man so that he fell to the ground, bringing her down with him. In the commotion, she slipped her fingers into his coin purse. That exact moment, when her hand was wrist deep in a coin purse that did not belong to her, was when she noticed movement by the fireplace to her right. Her head involuntarily jerked towards the sight, eyes searching frantically before they landed on a man who sat in a chair in the corner. Kaiya froze in panic. _How had she not seen him before?! How long had he been there?!_ She had been caught red handed, only…

 _Was he smiling?_

As she took in the mysterious figure no more than carriage length away, her eyes scanned him from his fancy boots to his quilted fine clothes to his shaggy brown hair, trying desperately to make sense of what she saw. He had his legs stretched out in front of him, completely relaxed, while he casually leaned back in his chair. The light from the fireplace flickered around him, but he seemed to stay in the shadows, fickle as they were. She couldn't help but think that he didn't seem angry. In fact, the look on his face seemed almost amused, as if he found this whole ordeal to be entertaining and cared nothing of the moral quandary it presented. What she had first mistaken for a smile was more of an amused smirk, but it was enough to convince her that he wasn't planning on calling for the guards.

In a silent plea for his discretion, she put one finger to her lips as they curled into a smile. His only reply was the slight widening of his own smirk, a wordless agreement between them. At this, Kaiya's hand slipped the coins out of the poor drunkard's purse and pocketed them in her own. She helped the man to his feet, exclaiming that he should be more careful before she resumed her former position of bracing him as they walked to the door. Looking over her shoulder at the shadowed man in the corner, she gave him a wink meant to entice. A devious grin spread across his face that shot a shiver down her spine.

 _This guy was going to be trouble._

After she walked her last victim to the door, she practically tossed him outside. No use in taking the disguise the extra mile for someone who wouldn't remember her anyway. The door slammed as she came back into the inn, making her way back to the counter. She had planned on just ordering some dinner and renting a room, but she'd be lying if she said she didn't hope to see her mystery man again. Her gaze casually drifted over to the fireplace, trying not to look too eager, only to find an empty chair.

 _Please tell me I didn't imagine that man…_

She stepped up to the counter but dared not look around in search of him. Looking desperate was something Kaiya would never allow. Keerava eyed her suspiciously. "Whatt'dya want?" she snapped.

"I'm not picky," Kaiya replied. "Just something to eat and some mead for now. I'm starving." Keerava's eyes narrowed before she sauntered off to find her patron something to eat. If the priestess wasn't picky, she wouldn't mind the most expensive meal in the establishment, would she?

Kaiya moved her hand to retrieve her coin purse, now flush with coin from her hard earned pilfering. _That's funny,_ she thought as her hands roamed in all her pockets, _I could've sworn it was right here._ Her search became more frantic as her panic set in. _What in Oblivion happened to my coin purse?!_

"Looking for this?" came a voice from beside her. Startled, she looked towards the voice only to discover its owner was the enigmatic figure from the fireplace, leaning against the counter. In one hand he held her coin purse and jiggled it around to make the coins clink together as a taunt. Before she could even consider reaching out to snatch it from him, he snapped it back into his hand as he shook his head. "Tsk tsk tsk, not so fast Priestess," he jeered. "Two can play this game." She felt her lips curl as they mirrored his coy smirk. He winked, causing excitement to pool in her stomach, then turned away from her, strolling over to sit at a table against the wall of the inn. Her eyes followed him as he moved and his eyes returned to her after he sat down, baiting her to make the next move.

 _Oh so this is the game he wants to play, eh? I like this game._

An annoyed "ah-hem" from the Argonian behind the bar broke his spell and reminded her that she was once again, completely penniless. Keerava stood at the bar with a blank expression as Kaiya put on an awkward grimace. "I have a bit of a problem. I seem to have lost my coin purse." Kaiya admitted, her shoulders shooting up to brace for the inevitable lecture. The Argonian just rolled her eyes, shoving the plate towards her patron. "It's been taken care of already, Priestess" she mocked, throwing all of her skepticism into Kaiya's title.

Kaiya's brows snapped together with incredulity. "What? Who? What?!"

Keerava rolled her eyes again at the aloofness of her patron. "Sometimes I wonder how men ever procreate, seeing how daft you all can be." She gave a sharp nod, directing Kaiya's attention towards the table by the wall. The table that was occupied by the mystifying scoundrel himself, feigning innocence as his eyes scanned over the pages of some book.

Kaiya sighed and grabbed her dinner from the bar, shaking her head at his shamelessness. _This guy is going to be trouble,_ she thought as she walked towards him, not able to wipe the stupid grin off her face. _Fun, but trouble._

Her plate hit the table with a clang as Kaiya sat down directly across from her new playmate. "I guess I have you to thank for this" she said as she pulled off a piece of bread, gingerly putting it in her mouth. _Don't devour it like an animal Don't devour it like an animal_ she chanted in her mind, fighting the urge to demolish her dinner as hungry as she was.

"No need to thank me," he said as he looked up from whatever book he had been reading, closed it, and set it to the side. "I have recently come into some coin so it's the least I could do to help feed a disciple of our Lady Mara." The mocking tone practically dripped off of his words and his eyes crinkled at the corners in amusement.

Kaiya tore off another piece of bread as she glared back at him, her mind quickly configuring what approach she should use. He was dangerous. It was as though he was setting a trap, word by word, to see if she would fall for it. She cocked an eyebrow at him, "is that so? Well I am truly blessed to have encountered a man with your piety."

"Well you know what they say," he grinned as he leaned forward and put his elbows on the table. "Blessings come to those who give."

"Oh so it was an investment? I see," she placed another piece of bread onto her tongue, chewing slowly. "I wonder who you expect to see to it that you're compensated for your selflessness. Lady Mara, or her humble servant before you?"

"I believe I have something you want as well, priestess." His eyes remained locked onto hers while he pulled out her coin purse.

"Straight to the bribery, aren't we?" She let out a single laugh before taking a sip of her mead. "What could you possibly want from me, O pious one?"

"Your name."

"Why would you want my name?" Kaiya was becoming genuinely curious as to what this man was after. Any other jackass at the bar she would have told to fuck off by now, but this man… this man was an enigma. A challenge. And Kaiya hadn't been challenged in oh so long…

"Curious," he shrugged and leaned back into his chair, his hands behind his head.

"What do I get out of this?" she teased. "I can get more coin if I need it, you've got to give me something better than that."

"What do you want?"

She felt a tremor course through her at his question, the way his deep voice rumbled out of his chest. It was mesmerizing.

"Quid pro quo. I give nothing away I don't receive in return."

He contemplated her offer before seemingly coming to some conclusion. His eyes were playful as he leaned forward, his elbows back on the table. "Like I said priestess, what do you want?"

"I want to know if you usually wear those stupid clothes or if they're just special for tonight," His obvious surprise at her question caused her to look down to stifle a laugh.

"Very well, if that's what you want to ask. No, I don't usually wear these clothes" he growled, "you're not the only one that can pull off a disguise, priestess."

She was impressed. Her expression showed it. He leaned back, proud of himself. "Now you. Your name."

"Must we really start with names?" she groaned. "You wouldn't want to tell me your name, would you?"

"Fine. We'll start easier. Why are you in Riften?" his arms crossed in front of him.

"For work," she replied candidly.

His brow shot up with suspicion. "Let me guess. At the temple? You're not playing fair."

She grinned, "I didn't say the temple, you did. No, I'm in another line of work that has brought me here. I uh…" she paused, not wanting to reveal too much. There was no way she was telling him she was really there to perform a hit on the poor old lady that ran the local orphanage. "I shouldn't say more about it than that. Just know that it's quite far off from the work of a holy woman."

He nodded, apparently content with her answer. "What about you?" she asked. "Why are you in Riften in your fancy clothes?"

"Those are two questions," he replied drily.

"Fine, the first one. The Riften one. Why are you here?" She was getting into this game.

"I live here." He stared at her, his mind obviously trying to piece together his next question. She just nodded and smiled, trying her best to entice him into taking this a bit further. If he was this fun clothed, he was destined to be fun in the bedroom. Her face blushed at the thought, but she didn't look away. He noticed.

"Why are you blushing?" he asked. _Damn! Clever bastard!_

"I was thinking about some scandalous things." She smiled wickedly and he responded just as she had hoped, with a devious grin and his eyes full of questions. "Is that so?" he asked as he leaned towards her, now just inches away from her face. _Got him_.

"Is that what you told that poor dark elf earlier too? The one that you relieved of his coin purse and chased out of the inn, no doubt with promises of something that will never happen?"

 _Nope. Don't got him._

"You're a clever girl, I'll give you that." He began to stand as he picked up the book he had left on the table, undoubtedly preparing to leave. "But you'll have to work a little harder than that if you plan on getting your ill earned gains from me." Her face was blank and she stared at him, her mind rushing to catch up with what was happening. He laughed at the sight before bending over to speak into her ear. "If you want it, you'll have to try your luck at breaking into my room. Let's see if your lockpicking skills are as good as these fingers of yours," he dared, reaching down to squeeze her fingers as he spoke. "You may be clever, but I'll always be one step ahead."

And with that, he walked away. He grinned to himself as he climbed the stairs, relishing in his upper hand. She would take the bait, he was certain. Kaiya's expression was no different from his as she sat alone. _Damn this man!_ _He was good, too good._ She had been worried at first, but when he practically dared her to break into his room she knew it had all been a part of his game. Once again he baited her and once again, she would bite.

Kaiya took her time. No need to seem eager. Plus, it would be good to make him sweat a little. She finished her meal but she fidgeted in her seat. She hated waiting. When her tension became too much to bear, she made her way up the stairs of the Bee and Barb. His room was the third she tried. After sneaking in on a sleeping Argonian and then catching some drunk Nord in his smallclothes, she sighed with relief when she saw her mystery man, sitting on the bed and reading the same book he had been reading earlier. Her entry seemed to have had no effect on him as he read, his eyes not leaving the page.

"I knew you wouldn't be able to resist a challenge." He smiled, his attention still on the book in his lap. _Damn him! Damn him to Oblivion! How did he read her as easily as he read that damn book?!_

Oh but she _liked_ it. She couldn't deny that. Her eyes roamed his relaxed form as he sat, back leaning against the headboard and legs stretched out in front of him, crossed at the ankles. He wore nothing but his long sleeved undershirt and trousers that ended at his bare feet. She took him all in, his unkempt dark hair that fell into his eyes as he read, prompting him to run his hand through it to be able to see. His muscled arms, not as big as the Nords she had become accustomed to but for that she was grateful. Kaiya didn't care much for burly types, but his toned arms were just right. His chest was broad under his shirt, rising and falling with his easy breathing. It was his chest that held her gaze, the same chest that his voice rumbled out of when he spoke in that deep, alluring tone. She wanted to feel it beneath her hands, that deep voice of his vibrating her fingers. He pushed all of her buttons, enticed all of her vices. He had her, helplessly caught in his web that he had skillfully spun all night. She knew it too, but there was nowhere else she'd rather be.

 _Get a grip, Kai!_ She scolded herself, shaking her head as if to free her thoughts from an intangible web. _Don't give him control! You're better than this!_

With her newfound resolve, she approached the bed with her shoulders back and her chin up, defiant, and ready to take charge. "I need to make something clear." He looked up with an expression that told her he was merely humoring her, but she continued anyway. "I'm not here because of coin. Like I told you earlier, I am perfectly capable of finding more for myself." He did not respond, urging her to continue with his stare. "I don't want you hanging it over my head. I'm here as your equal. I owe you nothing."

He slowly shut the book he had been reading and placed it next to the bed. His legs swung around to plant his feet on the floor as he gave her his full attention. "So let me get this straight. You break into my room, accuse me of holding your stolen coin over your head and then declare yourself my equal?"

 _Okay so maybe that wasn't the most well thought out plan you've ever had, Kai_ , she thought, chiding herself. _Hold it together. Adapt. You still got this_. She feigned confidence, hands on her hips and a pleased nod as her reply.

"So am I to assume that you broke into my room just to tell me that?" He forced his expression to resemble incredulity, but Kaiya could see the beginnings of a smirk play at the corners of his mouth. "Or is there another reason why you're here?"

 _There it is, there's that damn smirk._ Taking this as her cue, she pulled back the hood of her monk robes, letting her long blonde curls tumble down her back. She removed a glove and threw it on the chair next to the bed. She locked onto his gaze and didn't look away as she removed the second glove, tossing it alongside its counterpart. He tried to hide his growing interest in a mask of impassivity, but Kaiya knew better. His hands gripped his knees until his knuckles were white. She stepped out of one boot. Then two. He licked his lips. _Got him._

Her expression was downright lascivious, leaving little doubt as to what her intentions were. His heart began beating faster. His pants grew more and more uncomfortable. He knew his resolve was weakening, but he was adamant to remain in control. This was his game and no one beat him at his own game.

"You didn't answer my question," he stated flatly. "Why are you here?" His eyes narrowed at her, daring her to say it out loud.

"I'm here for the same reason you challenged me to pick the lock." Eyes locked onto his, her hand moved towards the sash of her robes, the last piece of fabric responsible for keeping her clothed. "The same reason you sat in this room awake instead of falling asleep." She began to pull the sash, agonizingly slow. His eyes lazily drifted down to her sash, then back up to her face. "I'm here for the same reason you wanted me here," she bit her lip, still pulling the sash, "so we could have a little fun."

In one swift motion, he jumped up to his feet, the force of his momentum pushing them both into the wall behind her. One of his hands grabbed hers to prevent her from continuing to untie her sash while his other hand pressed against the wall above her head, bracing himself as he loomed over her. Confused, she looked up to get a read off of his expression to find him staring back with a look that flipped her insides. He looked _hungry_. With his face mere inches from hers, he growled "And who said you were in charge?"

"What? You don't want to see me naked?" she teased, grinning deviously. He lowered his head into the crook of her neck, his breath hitting her skin and causing her to shiver. A single, rumbling laugh came rolling out from his chest. "No," he crooned in an almost playful tone as he kissed her collarbone. "I didn't say that." His lips brushed up her neck in a trail of one searing kiss after another, each one sending a shudder through her. He kissed behind her ear, then her jaw, before resting his forehead against hers. "I just want to be the one that unties this sash." And at that, his lips pressed into hers, sealing their fate for the night.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter IX**

 _5th of Sun's Dusk 4E202_

Kaiya sat at the counter of the Ragged Flagon, the events of the day a whirlwind in her mind. She took another long sip from her bottle and continued to stare blankly. She had been inducted into the Thieves Guild. She had received her guild leathers which she had immediately changed into from her robes. She had met the other members of the guild and received her first jobs from Delvin and Vex.

She laughed to herself a bit as she remembered her encounter with Delvin. Why had she been so nervous? He had recognized her, but when he saw her eyes widen in horror he soothed her fears. "We all have pasts we'd rather not talk about, love. That's why we're down here. You have nothin' to worry about from Ol' Delvin." A smile crept across her face at the memory. This may work out after all.

Then there was Mercer. The thought alone made her take another long sip from her bottle, her nerves rattled from their introduction. _So that was his name_. How many times had she mentally slapped herself for not asking for it that night a year ago? How many times she had wished she knew it when she came to Riften so that maybe she could ask someone about him? He had definitely remembered her, she was sure of it. His reaction had been fleeting, but she had caught it. His reaction afterwards is what made her cringe.

"Nice to meet you Mercer" she had said.

She remembered growing confused as his scowl deepened and he looked at her angrily. "It's Guildmaster to you, footpad." _Footpad. That was one way to make her feel like a novice._ "We need to get a few things straight…"

He had been so abrasive, commanding obedience and warning her not to be a waste of his time. It had felt like a punch to the stomach, how he looked at her as if she were merely an annoyance. And to think, she had spent so much time thinking about that guy! That one night they had years ago had plagued her mind ever since, forcing her to compare every man she slept with back to him. _Back to Mercer_. She scoffed and took another swig. "Whatever" she said aloud.

And yet, there was a tinge of what she remembered in their exchange. "Oh yeah," he had drawled in that deep, rumbling voice. "Welcome to the Thieves Guild." _Damn that man!_ Even after all this time, that voice still made her heart pound a little faster. She knew better than to poke at it, but she was pretty sure that his hardlined attitude towards her had a purpose. He had to exert control. He was the Guildmaster. "Psh, classic!" she said aloud again before she took another sip from her bottle.

She was unsure of how long she had been in her own head, but when she finally made eye contact with the barkeep she was mortified. He stared back at her with a look of utter confusion mixed with extreme amusement, one eyebrow raised to his hairline while the corner of his mouth curved upwards in a sardonic grin.

"Oh gods," she groaned, hanging her head in shame. She could only imagine how insane she had looked, staring into space and talking to herself. "Well this is awkward!" she squeaked, a high pitched laugh leaving her chest. "I promise I'm not crazy or anything, you just caught me deep in thought is all" she explained as she looked back up to the barkeep. "I'm Kaiya, by the way."

"Okaayyyyyyy," the barkeep responded carefully. "I'm Vekel the Man. You must be Brynjolf's new protege." He laughed and shook his head, "oh man, we're done for."

"Whattdya mean?"

"I mean if you're the one that Brynjolf's got his hopes on for saving the guild, I should go ahead and pack up."

Kaiya's eyes narrowed at the man as he scoffed to himself. "So says the bartender." she replied, drily. Her expression deadpan, she continued. "Oh man, whatever will I do? The BARTENDER thinks I'm a dud. Oh the horror." She spoke emotionlessly, using her tone to illustrate how ridiculous she thought this situation was. He glared at her, obviously not happy with her disrespect.

Their argument was interrupted by the addition of another patron, plopping down on the stool at the end of the bar. Kaiya didn't have to look to see who it was. She could tell from the tightening of her stomach at the way the air seemed to get just a bit harder to breathe. _Mercer_ … she looked at her bottle for a moment to try to steady her nerves.

Not one to miss out on an opportunity to ridicule his new adversary, Vekel decided to take advantage of her obvious discomfort around her Guildmaster. "Hey Mercer," he said a little louder than necessary to ensure she heard him. "This new recruit here just disrespected me." Kaiya's head shot up at the provocation, a wide grin plastered onto the barkeep's face.

"So?" Mercer replied, unenthusiastically. "I'm just here to drink, Vekel. Handle your own damn problems."

Vekel's face dropped, mouth hanging open. Kaiya laughed "But daaaaaaa!" she mocked, whining like a child. "She told me I was a bartender!" Shaking her head, she took a sip from her bottle and rolled her eyes. Vekel's nostrils flared, his skin turning hot with anger. "Say what you will, new blood, but I've seen a lot of wannabe thugs down here over the years. You either got what it takes or you don't. And from what I've seen you won't last a week."

"Whatever Vekel THE MAN," she laughed, disregarding his taunt completely. "Those are some strong words coming from someone who felt it necessary to put his gender in his name, just in case there were questions." Vekel stared at her in a seething rage while she calmly sipped on her mead, when they heard a chuckle come from the end of the bar.

Mercer was _laughing_. It started small, but transformed itself into a silent laugh that made his whole body shake. He kept his head down, tears forming at the corners of his eyes. Vekel stared at his reaction in disbelief. "Mercer?" he asked, concerned. Mercer shook his head back and forth as his laughter slowed before letting out a forced exhale. "Vekel, why DO you call yourself that anyway?" he asked, wiping the tears from his face.

The bartender's face turned smug, excited to answer the question. "It's a nickname given to me by Tonilia," he bragged. "Maybe you should ask HER why she calls me that."

As if on cue, Tonilia called out from her usual perch by the water. "Vekel! Let's get out of here!" Vekel grinned, "looks like she wants some of THE MAN now. Insatiable, that one."

Tonilia had apparently grown impatient with his lack of immediate response. "Vekel, let's go! I'm tired!" He began to scurry around, taking off his apron and getting his belongings together. "Coming Tonilia!" He shot one last grin at Kaiya before running off, leaving her alone with Mercer at the bar.

"Oh that poor bastard," Kaiya laughed to herself before letting the room fall quiet. She was suddenly very aware of the fact that she was alone with Mercer and the silence was becoming unbearable. She needed more mead.

"He's not coming back is he?" she asked, knowing the answer. "Damn. I wanted another drink."

At this, Mercer stood and reached over the bar, grabbing two bottles of mead. He slid one over to Kaiya before opening the other for himself and taking a sip. She caught one corner of her mouth turning up into a lopsided smile. The gesture, while small, was exactly the confirmation that Kaiya needed to affirm he was indeed the same Mercer. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it."

 _No really, don't mention it. Literally._ Kaiya understood the unspoken request and decided to change the subject.

"Where's he run off to, anyway?" Kaiya asked, taking a sip. "You know what? I don't want to know."

"Well, after that castration you just performed on his manhood," he joked, shooting her a side eyed glance. "My guess is he's out trying to reclaim his masculinity."

"You saying I was too hard on him?" Kaiya asked, intrigued at what he might say. He looked at her quizzically, still through a side glance.

"Gods, no" he scoffed, returning his gaze back to his bottle. "Not your fault the only manhood he has left is in his dumb name."

A laugh burst out of Kaiya's mouth before she covered it with her hand. She shot a glance at Mercer, surprised at his jab when a grin took over her expression. "Nah, that's just the manhood that Tonilia allows him to keep. She holds onto the rest, you know, for safekeeping."

Mercer, unfortunate enough to be taking a gulp of his mead while she spoke, coughed out a surprised laugh, having to pound himself on the chest to release the mead he had inhaled in the process. "Damn," he croaked, voice still raw from his coughing fit, "I could almost _hear_ Vekel's balls shrivel from that."

Kaiya grimaced at the visual, "why'd you have to bring his balls into it? I was perfectly content going the rest of my life without ever thinking about Vekel's balls."

"Consider it hazing" he smirked, shooting another side glance at her. "We all suffer when the bartender suffers, has no one ever told you that?"

They let the room fall quiet, neither one feeling the need to fill the silence but just let it be. Kaiya could not quite figure out what was going on. One minute the Guildmaster looked at her as if she were an insect, but a few hours later and they're cracking jokes? She would give anything to see what was going on in that head of his.

As if he read her mind, she saw him glance over at her out of the corner of his eye. He was watching her. Once again, the smallest of actions told Kaiya exactly what she wanted to know. Her smile returned, stretching across her face.

"What?" he asked, almost defensively.

"What do you mean?" she was still smiling. "I didn't say anything."

His eyes narrowed at her. She still smiled.

"What!?" he asked again, growing more annoyed.

"What do you mean what?" she laughed, grin still on her face. "I'm not saying anything to you!"

He grumbled to himself and her smile widened. He was getting flustered!

"If you don't tell me what you're grinning about," he said, working to keep his voice even, "I'll wipe it off your face myself." He was threatening her, but she still just laughed. She climbed down off the barstool to leave, throwing a few septims on the bar to pay for her last mead. The smile stayed on her face as she shook her head at his reaction. So transparent!

"You're blushing." Was all she said as she turned and walked away, leaving Mercer to grumble obscenities by himself.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter X**

 _5th of Sun's Dusk 4E202_

Kaiya found an empty bed in the cistern with as much privacy as possible and plopped down onto the mattress. Dust floated around as she stared at the stone ceiling, listening to the water as it flowed from the pipes. _This was going to be fun._ Her mind began to wander as it usually did when she was alone, but instead of past tragedies or personal failures, this time it wandered back to that fateful night a year ago when she first met her new Guildmaster.

She remembered it well. The game, the subtle flirtation, the constant power struggle. She remembered how he had her up against the wall, his body pressed against hers. _What had he said? Oh yeah._ "I just want to be the one that unties this sash." _Ha!_

"Oh, so you're a control freak?" she had responded when his lips left hers and found their way to her jawline, her throat, her collarbone. His hand moved inside the opening of her robes, gliding around her hip and down the back of her thigh before he lifted her leg, hooking it around his waist. He laughed into the crook of her neck as he slid his hand back to her hip. "You say that like you mind" was his response, his mouth back on hers.

She still remembered everything. The way he tasted of mead and the slow, deliberate way his mouth moved against hers. _So much patience._ The way his scars felt as she traced them with her fingers, one on his chin just touching his bottom lip, another on his right cheek. She remembered his smell. Pine smoke from the fireplace clung to his hair but his own scent remained on his skin, wet stone, like rocks on a riverbed. A contradictory mixture of rain and fire, smoke and water. She remembered the way his calloused hand felt the first time it touched her bare skin and how she seemed to melt into the wall under his bulk. One of her hands had found its way to the back of his head, her fingers tangling themselves in his hair.

She remembered how he ground his hips into hers, earning a small moan from her in response. She could feel his smirk spread across his lips as he kissed her. "See?" he teased, his eyes looking straight into hers. "I think you like me in control."

 _Oh and his eyes. Sweet Dibella, those eyes._ Piercing and fierce, a personality all their own. His gaze shot fire through her every time it locked onto her, as if all of his intention could only be conveyed through those two green orbs. She remembered being surprised when she first noticed their color, emeralds seeming out of place amongst such hard edges, unexpected resplendence surrounded by shadow.

 _Wait a second._ Kaiya's eyes opened to contemplate what he had said to her. " _I think you like me in control." Ha!_ Of course the mysterious, sneaky, thieving, control freak she had spent a night with would be the master of the Thieves Guild. _How had she not guessed that!?_

She thought about the commanding, aggressive, authoritarian that demanded obedience that she had met earlier in the cistern. It was hard to believe he was the same man she had met at the Bee and Barb. The man she met today used his title as a name, his authority as a personality, his armor as an identity. He did not waver even as he watched her cringe. There was no hesitation in his tirades, no playfulness in his taunts. And yet, she knew there was more. She had seen it. _Hmm_. As Kaiya began to drift off to sleep, still in her guild leathers, she could not shake the feeling that she may have seen a side of the Guildmaster no one else in the guild had ever seen. A secret she would keep for herself.

That brooding, angry tyrant was still just a man.

That thought, powerful enough to quiet her ever present demons into a silence she had not experienced in months, set her adrift into a peaceful, dreamless sleep.

* * *

Mercer's eyes followed the tiny Breton as she sauntered away from the bar, her final quip still hanging palpably in the air. She moved like a woman empowered, hips swaying and confidence seeping out with each step. A flurry of emotions ran through the Guildmaster, some very familiar and others so suppressed they felt alien in his body. He concentrated on the anger, a feeling he was well acquainted with. The others would pass.

" _You're blushing."_ Those two words, heavy with implication, served as a useful catalyst for his ire. She had lied, of that he was sure. Mercer did not blush. Those words were a taunt to try and get a reaction from him, of which he would not give her. She would learn soon enough that there were no power struggles here, not with him. The others may squabble for scraps but the Guildmaster stood alone, his dominance unquestioned. He would show her if she insisted on playing her games. She would see.

Mercer gulped down the last of a bottle of mead before mindlessly reaching over the bar to grab another. His self administered reassurances were not helping his turmoil. The moment he laid eyes on Brynjolf's new recruit he knew he was in a problematic situation. He could throw as many threats, sneers and commands at her as he wanted and he knew she would never bend. Nothing he could do would change the fact that a guild member now knew more about Mercer than he ever let any of his subordinates know. The thought made him chug the contents of his bottle until it was empty, then immediately replace it with another.

It wasn't her smile or hair or even her blue eyes he had recognized first. It was her expression. That brow of hers, furrowed and quizzical as she watched his every move. The way her mouth morphed from shock into that smug, knowing smirk. So much about her was exactly as he remembered, but yet there were a few stark differences that bit at the corners of his mind. Before she had been so small, twiggy even. The frame of a woman who ate when she was able and had to work for every bite. Now she was stronger, not just in her build but in her stance, her movements. The girl before had been a fighter, a scrappy and resourceful survivor. Now she was a woman who had survived, resolve steeled and with the calm demeanor that only comes from experience. She seemed older, not haggard or tired but solid and wise. It was this change that plagued him now - the evolution of a spunky, spirited novice into a sharp, tenacious force. That night at the Bee and Barb, Mercer had been aware of their difference in age. Not a large enough gap to qualify him as lecherous, but enough that any more than one night would have become tiresome. But now… now the gap seemed smaller and her vim seemed far less taxing.

He had tried to pretend that he did not recognize her, but she obviously hadn't bought his bluff. He had turned up the aggression in an attempt to scare her off, but he had known better than to assume that would work. He was in trouble. Memories from that night played in his head as he downed bottle after bottle of mead, his mind searching for anything that could give him leverage.

How had it started? Oh right, the damned woman brazenly removing her gloves and boots after breaking into his room. _Ha. As if she was in control. How quaint._ He remembered pushing her against the wall to stop her from removing her robes, positioning himself at an advantage. She loved it though, he vividly recalled that. The soft moans, her breath catching, hands clutching at him and grabbing onto his back for stability. What had he said to her? "I think you like me in control." _Ha, damn right she did._ He adjusted on his barstool, his reminiscence getting a little more lewd than he intended.

Taking another long sip from his bottle, he willed himself to clear his head from the fog that was beginning to creep in with his recollections. He was supposed to be combing through the events of that night in order to find something he could use for leverage, not for some thrill. Exerting every bit of willpower he had, he forced himself to stop his thoughts from their current path. He hated it when he felt he didn't have control over what was going on around him.

With well timed defiance, the memory of Kaiya's words jumped into his thoughts as if deliberately mocking him. "Now it's my turn to take control." Mercer's brow furrowed in aggravation, both at the memory itself and at its intrusive resurgence. She had whispered this into his ear as she lay beneath him on the bed before somehow flipping them both around and taking her place on top. "You'll like it, I promise."

And he had liked it. She wasn't wrong. He remembered how she leaned over to speak into his ear, her hands grabbing onto the headboard. "I want to show you what I can do." _Damn. So much for willpower._ He had let her do it too. The memory of his response made him cringe. "Let's see what you've got then." He remembered putting his hands behind his head, giving her complete dominance of the situation, before encouraging her on. "Have at me."

Mercer's heart dropped into his stomach at the memory of those words. Any hope he had before of gaining leverage was now gone. _He had relinquished control to her. Let her have it._ As far as he could remember, Mercer had never willingly given control to another person like that. Until her. He wasn't sure what it was about her that made him do it, but it didn't matter. He had. The one person in all of Nirn that had been able to take control of the Guildmaster in any form was now in the Thieves Guild. As his subordinate. At the worst possible time.

He was in trouble. He had to take back his authority, his upper hand. He had to remain dominant, especially now. All he worked for would not pass through his fingers, he was adamant. She was just some Breton! She was nothing! He was the godsdamned Guildmaster! No, she would never get in his head. She had no power over him.

Mercer may be a man but he was nothing like the weak, mindless fools of which he shared ancestry. Oh no, he was so much more than just a man.

* * *

Brynjolf stumbled into the cistern well after most of the guild was asleep. Concentrating hard on not falling into the water, he made his way into the Flagon for one more mead to end his night. His eyes scanned the familiar scenery to find no one else in the bar at that hour except for Mercer, sitting alone at the end of the counter. He lumbered over to sit with his Guildmaster, clumsily plopping onto the stool next to him.

"Mersher, hand me a mead, will ya?" he slurred. Mercer's gaze shot over to the drunk Nord next to him before he handed Brynjolf the mead he had asked for with a heavy sigh.

"Thank youuuuuuu!" he beamed, opening the bottle and taking a sip. "So Merc, whatcha think of the new recruit?" Brynjolf's gaze couldn't quite fix on Mercer's face, his eyes swimming around in their drunkenness.

"Shouldn't you be in a bed somewhere, Brynjolf?" Mercer grumbled. "You're going to end up drowning in the cistern if you keep coming in like this. And you smell like a mead barrel."

"What? Nah I shtill got one more imme, Merc" he slurred. "Hey! You dinn't answer my queshtion!" His finger sloppily pointed at Mercer in accusation.

"What do you want me to say, Bryn? She seems competent?" he growled, not in the mood for this inquisition.

"Thash a start! But thash not wha' I meant," he hiccupped. "Does she look familiar to ya, Merc?"

Mercer felt his blood run cold at Brynjolf's question. Could he possibly have noticed his reaction earlier? Did he know? Did she tell him?

"No, can't say that she does. Why do you ask?" he inquired a little too eagerly, a bit paranoid.

"Cause she should!" Brynjolf grinned, "She's been here befooooore!"

"Cut the crap, Bryn" Mercer snapped. "I'm not in the mood for this."

Brynjolf grinned sloppily, his eyelids drooping. "She shold us the elder's council amu -" he interrupted himself with a hiccup. "The amulet. You remember?"

Mercer froze. He remembered the amulet well, although he had never laid eyes on the one who had sold it to Delvin. He recalled Delvin mentioning that she had been "a looker", but that's not what mattered now.

"So she's in the Dark Brotherhood." It was not a question but a statement of fact. Brynjolf nodded dramatically.

"Yup. But there's more. Delvin told me somethin' else."

"I'm listening." Mercer's patience was running thin.

Brynjolf leaned closer to add dramatic effect, but all it did was irritate the Guildmaster. His second-in-command's charisma may be great for the job but it irritated him to no end. "For gods' sake Brynjolf, spit it out."

"She's not just _IN_ the Brotherhood, Merc. She _IS_ the Brotherhood. She's the new Lis'ner" he let out a high pitched giggle at his Guildmaster's stoic reaction before draining the rest of his mead in one gulp. "I will leave you to yer thoughtsh." Brynjolf tapped the rim of his mead bottle against Mercer's before slapping a few septims down on the bar and walking away.

Mercer's mind was racing. _The Listener!?_ He scoured his memories for what Delvin had told him about the events of the Brotherhood a few months ago. They had come across the amulet as payment for some contract. Astrid had commented to him in private that there was a new Listener, of which she was not thrilled about. Her command was being threatened. _That sounded familiar._ But then… wasn't there a disaster? Yes, now he remembered…

There had been a terrible betrayal. Astrid had sold out one of her family in order to protect the rest and the deal had backfired tragically. Most of them had died, including Astrid herself. The news had devastated Delvin although few knew or noticed at all. Mercer had been one of the few guild members who had known about his affair with the leader of the Dark Brotherhood and therefore one of the only that knew how personal this loss had been for the old thief. Mercer had only been concerned of the loss of an ally, although Delvin had reassured him that the new leader, the Listener, was willing to keep up the partnership. This Listener was also the one who was rumored to have killed the Emperor of Tamriel. Single handedly.

 _It was her. It had been Kaiya the whole time._

This was almost too much information for Mercer to take in on one day. Not only had the woman he had spent a night with a year ago, who he had never truly been able to get out of his head, joined the guild, but this woman was also the Listener of the Dark Brotherhood. The one person he was concerned with exerting authority over was the leader of a group of assassins. She was an assassin. She had killed the Emperor of Tamriel.

And yet, there was another layer of this story hidden underneath that the Guildmaster focused on. If all of this was true and Kaiya was the infamous Listener and famed assassin, then that meant she had lost most of her dark little family. He was willing to bet that was a wound that had not yet scarred over for her. It was probably still open, bleeding and - Mercer smiled at his realization - ripe for exploitation.

 _Got her._


	11. Chapter 11

_22nd of Morning Star 4E203_

"You know you gotta talk to him about it, Kai."

Vekel dutifully handed the thief another mead before returning to wipe down the counter in the Ragged Flagon. Kaiya groaned in obvious displeasure at the bartender's words and took a sip of her mead as she nervously rolled her necklace around in her fingers. "I know, Veks. You're right. You usually are."

"You've been in the guild for almost 3 months and you're just now realizing that?" he beamed. "And stop calling me Veks. Do you have any idea how confusing that is?"

Kaiya rolled her eyes at her friend before responding. "You sure you want me to go back to calling you Vekel THE MAN?" She laughed and took another gulp of her mead as she taunted. "I don't recall you liking that very much."

He stared back at her, unprovoked. "You're stalling, Kaiya. Go talk to Mercer. I'll save your mead for you."

"Uggggggh fine!" she groaned as she rolled herself off the barstool, "but I'm finishing this mead first!" Bottle upturned, Kaiya gulped down the last of her drink before taking her leave from the counter.

"Drink all you want!" Vekel yelled behind her. "It's not going to make this conversation any easier!"

"Thanks for the pep talk, ass!" she shot back over her shoulder and made her way into the cistern.

She spotted the Guildmaster at his desk, dutifully pouring over the ledger as usual. The water cascading out of the pipes drowned out most of the noise in the room, but it was still more crowded than she would have liked. Mercer was always more tolerable when he wasn't surrounded by an audience. " _Oh well, here goes nothing,"_ she thought to herself as she approached the desk.

A few moments of silence passed without Mercer acknowledging her presence before Kaiya spoke. "You got a minute, boss?"

"What do you want?" he spat without looking up from his ledger.

Kaiya took a breath in through her nose to stop herself from getting aggravated at his tone. "I thought you would want to know about a proposition I was just given by the Jarl, that's all."

Mercer's head shot up to glare at her. "You have my attention. Spill it."

"The Jarl wants me to take care of the skooma operation in town," she replied with confidence, not breaking the eye contact she held with the Guildmaster. "I figured it would be a good move to have a member of the guild on the Jarl's good side."

"And why would we need the Jarl on our side?" his eyes narrowed at her. "We have Maven."

"Well, would it hurt us?" she asked, shrugging her shoulders in exasperation. "I mean, the more people in high places we have on our side the better, right?"

"And what would the payment be for this job?" Mercer questioned, straightening his posture and crossing his arms over his chest. "I hope you aren't wasting my time to ask about some foolish hero's errand."

"She said she'd pay me," Kaiya responded, matching Mercer's stance, "but more importantly, she said she'd make me her Thane."

"Thane!?" Mercer seemed genuinely surprised. "I thought you had to own property to be a Thane."

"Details," Kaiya joked, brushing off his question. "Let me worry about that. I am just trying to avoid trouble by unknowingly ruining one of Maven's underground operations or something. Plus, I thought you may be interested in the idea of having a Thane in your guild." The closest expression Kaiya had to innocence spread across her face as she gazed up at the Guildmaster, his face unchanging.

"Right. I'll get back to you on that." he stated coldly. "In the meantime, don't you have a job to do?"

"Ah I see," Kaiya smirked, "you must have a meeting with Maven tonight."

The responding scowl that spread across Mercer's face caused her stomach to drop. "Okay, that was apparently a dumb thing to say," she consented as her hands flew up in surrender. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that."

"Then please," Mercer growled, his voice barely more audible than a whisper "tell me what you meant."

"I … I … I don't know. Can we just forget I said it?" her eyes shifted around the room. _Why was it so hot in here?_

"No. I'm waiting."

"It's just…" she fidgeted with her hands as her mind raced to try to find the right words. "It's just.. I've noticed that you tend to be a bit on edge when you have a meeting with her. It seems like you don't want to deal with this right now, so I assumed that meant it was a Maven night." Her eyes shifted down to stare at her hands as she spoke, "I … I didn't mean it to be disrespectful. I honestly was trying to show support. I see now that it wasn't helpful. I'm sorry."

"You're right, it wasn't helpful" he responded, his voice emotionless, "but yes, I have a meeting with Maven tonight."

Her eyes shot up to meet his, surprised at his tame response. "Oh, well…" she was clueless as to what to say next. "Let me know if I can help?"

"You can help by doing your job and leaving the decision making to me."

"Right," she nodded at him, scrambling to make her exit. "I'll leave for Markarth first thing in the morning then. You know…" _oh man this was awkward_ "for that job. For the silversmith."

He nodded, her answer seemingly enough for him to let her leave the conversation. But as she turned to go, he spoke. "Oh and one more thing."

"Yeah?" she whipped around nervously to face him.

"Don't ever call my meetings with her 'Maven nights' again." His tone was tense, leaving her confused at his reaction. She really seemed to hit a nerve with this one.

"Sure boss," she shot him a reassuring smile, trying to diffuse the tension, "no problem."

* * *

"Time for another, Veks" she ordered as she slammed her empty bottle back onto the counter. The bartender sighed heavily at her demand. "Time for another Veks, what?" he retorted.

"Time for another Veks, please?!" she pleaded, trying out her innocent impression once again. Vekel chuckled at her feeble attempt before placing a fresh bottle in front of her. "You're a pain in the ass, Kai."

"Shut up Veks," she laughed as she took her first sip, "you love me and you know it." The corners of his mouth turned up into a smile before letting silence fall between them.

"Care to tell me how it went with Mercer, or should I assume your increased mead consumption tonight is answer enough?" His gaze leveled with hers as he wiped out a clean tankard, breaking the silence.

"It actually wasn't horrible," she responded with a humorless smile. "It could have been worse. Then again, it could have been better if I hadn't brought up Maven."

Vekel grimaced at her answer. "Yeah Kai, I didn't think I had to tell you that he hated talking about Maven."

"Nah you didn't, I was just being dumb" she confessed, her eyes cast downward.

In all honesty, Kaiya never knew what was a sensitive subject with Mercer and what wasn't. She was trying to learn his mood swings, what would flare up his temper, but she didn't feel as though she had made much progress. Some days they seemed to get along, cracking jokes and having actual conversations. Other days he was brutal and severe, ever the authoritarian. She had just begun to put some of the pieces together and even that was spotty.

Vekel let the conversation die as the Flagon started to fill up with guild members returning from jobs or just ready for some socialization. Kaiya moved from the bar and made her way to one of the tables to sit with Delvin. This had become the routine over the past few months; when Kaiya was in Riften, she was in the Flagon. Have a few drinks with Delvin or Brynjolf, trade a few sharp barbs with Vekel or Tonilia or talk idly with Sapphire or Vex. Kaiya was usually one of the last stragglers in the bar every night but the reason why was not one she was comfortable with admitting to herself. She would say it was just her old friend mead that kept her down there, but she would be lying.

The truth was that on some nights, Mercer would join them in the Flagon for a few drinks. He usually didn't speak much and he rarely joined into the group discussion but on occasion, he would. There were nights when he told a joke or when he shared a story of a heist from his past. There had also been a handful of nights when everyone else was gone and Kaiya found herself alone with her Guildmaster when she had seen glimpses of the real Mercer. Not the Mercer from the cistern. Not the totalitarian Guildmaster. But the Mercer she had met over a year ago. Those nights, when he would shoot her that smirk of his over a joke she made or when he would taunt her with some dare, those nights were worth waiting in the Flagon for. Those nights stuck with her in a way her denial would never let her admit but yet there she would sit every night, hoping for another.

This was not the case tonight, however. Tonight she wanted to forget what was coming tomorrow. Tonight she needed a distraction.

"So where were you last night, Brynjolf?" she teased as soon as he walked into the Flagon. "I didn't see you here, so I assume you were enjoying your night off?" A grin spread across both their faces.

"Well lass," he began, taking a seat next to her at the table with Delvin. "Have you ever heard the phrase 'cat got your tongue'?"

"Ah so she is a Khajiit!" Kaiya exclaimed in triumph, "Vekel! You owe me 20 septims!" Vekel scoffed, "how about I just take it off your tab?"

"What tab?" Kaiya joked, "You owe me from last time too!"

"Kaiya, you made up for that debt like 20 minutes after we made the bet." Vekel laughed, "but go ahead Brynjolf, let's hear it."

"So there we were," Brynjolf began, standing to prepare for his story. "I've got her down to her smallclothes and I'm just in my trousers when we hear a noise. A cracking of a branch."

"Wait, you were outside?" Delvin chimed in. "Bryn how many times have we been through this? It never ends well when you venture outdoors."

"No, we were in a tent," Brynjolf corrected. "I mean outside technically I guess but still, there was a roof of sorts. So at least I learned my lesson from last time!"

Delvin just shook his head at his friend's risky behavior, prompting Brynjolf to continue. "So a twig snaps and I'm thinkin', 'aye someone's about to get a show!' but then I notice the look on her face and see she's panicking."

"Ah shit, Bryn." Now it was Vex's turn to interject. "Only you."

Brynjolf ignored her interruption. "I'm a gentleman, so I ask her what's going on, right?" Someone scoffed. "Hey! I AM a gentleman! Anyway, so I ask her what's wrong and she says 'oh, this one is in trouble now'" he gave his impression of a Khajiit accent. "Well, call me uncultured but I had no idea what in Oblivion that meant. Did she mean me? Or was she talking about herself? Was she talking about whoever made the sound? I didn't know, so I shrugged it off."

"See now Bryn, this is how you get yourself into these situations," Vex interjected again. "You do realize that, right? You do see that you did the worst thing you could have done by shrugging it off, right?"

"Whatever Vex," Brynjolf joked, "I was in the heat of the moment OK? A mammoth could have trampled through and I still would have asked to see under her smallclothes before we ran." Vex just rolled her eyes at his shamelessness.

"So anyway," he continued, "before I know what's happening, I'm being ripped out of the tent by the back of my trousers by a very angry kitty, who seems eager to strangle me to death. I assume my date is his wife so I start apologizing and telling him that I didn't know she was married. But that wasn't it. Turns out," he began to laugh, "it was his mother and he thought, well…" he laughed again, "he assumed she would have never allowed a Nord like me into her bed. She didn't seem to want to back up my side of the story, so I gave him the ol' 'did you hear that?' distraction before grabbing my shirt and running like the wind."

The room erupted in laughter and heckling while Brynjolf took a bow, once again entertaining the guild with another story of his lewd behavior.

"Your turn Kaiya." Brynjolf challenged, turning a chair at the table around to sit in it backwards. "Regale us with a tale of a time you had to call one short."

The game was on once again. Many a night the thieves traded lewd stories, challenging each other to top the last. Kaiya had never considered herself a prude and that did not change in the Flagon. She smiled at the prompt from the redhead before beginning a tale of her own.

"Well there was that one time that I almost banged Ulfric Stormcloak…" she teased, eyeing her audience for a reaction. Delvin grimaced. Vex groaned. Brynjolf was entranced. "Go on…." he urged.

"It was one of my first trips to Windhelm. He had actually invited me to come and meet his acquaintance," she bowed mockingly in false reverence. "Anyway, so we are hitting it off and he's not half bad so I think 'why not?' and make it clear that I'm down for the night if he is. And oh, he was."

Now it was Delvin's turn to groan, "blegh oh gods please tell me it wasn't his voice. Ladies love that fool's damn voice. I think he fakes it."

"Oh, Delvin. It was definitely his voice. What else did you think I was into? His blatant racism?" Kaiya joked. "And I should say in my defense that at this point in my… interaction… with Ulfric I had not seen the Grey Quarter so…" she was pandering, she knew it. "So I didn't really know how racist he was. But I digress!"

"So he tells me he is going to retire to his room and asks me to meet him shortly, but he needs to receive his nightly debriefing first." Kaiya threw a fair amount of cynicism into her words to show how little she had believed his statement. "I thought he was speaking in euphemisms. I was wrong. So wrong."

"Well he is fighting a war, Kai." Tonilia weighed in. "I'm sure it would have been safe to assume that leading a rebellion doesn't stop when he wants to get laid."

"Well… I know that now," Kaiya scoffed, "but this was when I was younger and considerably less educated." Tonilia rolled her eyes at her excuses.

"Anyway… so I wait a few minutes before making my way up to his bedroom." Kaiya stood for dramatic effect as her rendition of the story reached its climax. "As I walk in, I hear his second-in-command finish up his briefing. But then I notice Ulfric, and to this day I can't get this image out of my brain." Her audience was silent as they waited in suspense.

"There he was, sitting on the edge of his bed, butt ass naked!" Kaiya exclaimed, "but wait! That's not all. As soon as his little war buddy, whatever his name is, finished his update, Ulfric started yelling 'YEAH ULFRIC! YEAH ULFRIC!' and while pounding his fist into his chest like a damn troll." At this, everyone in the room erupted in laughter.

"I gotta give it to him though," Delvin squeaked out between fits, "he's got confidence. I should try that sometime, 'YEAH DELVIN! YEAH DELVIN!'" he mocked, pounding his chest.

"So yeah…. As soon as I saw that I turned around, walked out and never looked back," Kaiya concluded. "And that's the story of how I almost banged Ulfric Stormcloak."

The night carried on like this for a while longer, the thieves telling stories of their licentious pasts. They discussed close calls, times they had been caught, the most awkward places they had ever taken a lover - on and on. Kaiya told them all of the night she shared with the court wizard in Whiterun, to which Brynjolf shared his encounter with the Jarl's steward. Sapphire surprised no one with a recounting of an evening with Grelka and Delvin even jumped in to discuss his past poor decisions after too much mead.

"You ever been with a Khajiit, Kaiya?" Brynjolf asked. The conversation had somehow devolved into the thieves challenging each other on their adventures with different races.

"I can't say that I have," was Kaiya's reply. "I tried once with one of the caravanners, but he was a little too heartsick over some girl from Whiterun. Pity, really. What about you, Sapphire?"

"Yep. With a caravanner, actually" Sapphire bragged. "You missed out, Kai. She was definitely worth it."

"Rub it in, why don't ya?" Kaiya whined. "What about you, Vex?"

"Ah, Vex strikes me as a Nord only type woman," Brynjolf joked, trying to get a rise out of Delvin. Everyone knew how much the Breton pined after the Imperial.

"Ugh, please. Nords?" Vex groaned. "I've coughed up smaller furballs after going down on a Khajiit." The room went wild at her answer, laughing and taunting Brynjolf for losing that battle.

"That's right, Vex" Delvin teased. "Who needs a Nord when you could have a strapping Breton like myself?" Kaiya stood to give Delvin a high five, both of them chanting "Bretons! Bretons!"

Not to be left out, Vekel jumped into the conversation. "All right, let's see how 'cultured' you all really are then, shall we?" He looked around the room, challenging the thieves with his gaze. "We'll start easy. Raise your hand if you've ever been with a Nord."

All hands went up. "Please Vekel," Sapphire chimed in. "We're in Skyrim."

"I said I'd start easy!" he fired back. "Okay, what about an Imperial?" All hands raised once again.

At this, Vex started chanting "Imperials! Imperials!" to mock the Bretons' chant from a moment earlier. "No but seriously, best lay ever, am I right?" she joked. An awkward silence fell over the room at her question, with the exception of Delvin. "I'm sure it would be, love. I'm sure it would be."

Vekel, now the official moderator of sorts, continued. "Breton?" Fewer hands stayed raised at this question, to which Kaiya and Delvin jumped in to tease. "You don't know what you're missing, Tonilia!" Kaiya exclaimed. "Just think about what I could do with all this!" She moved her hands up and down her body as she spoke, causing Tonilia to scoff.

"Redguard?"

Vekel, although he had not raised his hand yet, shot his arm up in the air as high as it would go. The same thieves who had their hands raised earlier kept them up, singling out the libertines in the room. Sapphire took the opportunity to taunt Vekel. "Yes Vekel, we know. We all know." Groans of agreement joined her from around the room.

"Whatever, be jealous. That's fine," he joked. "Ok, now to the elves!"

"I feel like this is getting a little, fetishy" Vex commented. "I feel dirty talking about people by their race like this." Delvin, obviously excited by her use of the word 'dirty' replied, "I can make you feel dirtier later if you'd like, Vex." He followed up his offer with a wink to which she rolled her eyes.

"Hands up for Bosmer!" Vekel boomed as he took back control. Hands went up.

"All right, let's make this one interesting," Sapphire dared. "Who here has their hand raised because of a Bosmer in the guild?"

Everyone in the room shot their eyes around in curiosity to see who would take the bait. One hand remained raised, that hand attached to a grinning Brynjolf. The room erupted again.

"Was it Niruin!?" Tonilia yelled.

"Oh my gods, how was he?!" Kaiya asked.

"A guild member, Bryn!?" Vex judged.

Brynjolf just sat beaming, proud of his ability to disrupt the guild, lewd as they all were. Vekel did his best to get the guild back under control.

"Dunmer?" Hands shot up in answer, Kaiya raising both her hands as high as possible. Vex groaned, "yes Kaiya, we all know you've got a raging lady boner for the dark elves."

"As I should!" Kaiya replied. "Have you ever been with a Dunmer, Vex? No? Then you have no idea the power those red eyes can hold…"

Sapphire, raising the stakes once again, asked her a follow up question. "How many have you been with Kaiya?"

At this, Kaiya had to stop and think. _How many had she been with?_ She started mumbling names under her breath as she counted them off, "Teldryn, Athis, Revyn…. Geldis… Erandur..." before finally settling on her answer. "Ten? No, Eleven? I could be wrong…"

"Wait, wait." Delvin interjected. "Did you say Erandur? As in the priest of Mara?"

Kaiya smiled sheepishly, "Maybe. Yes. Don't judge my life!" This earned her another high five from Brynjolf, her consistent companion in their peers' judgment.

"Aaaand high elf?!" Vekel yelled, trying to distract the conversation for Kaiya's sake. Four hands went up.

"Oh, and after I get back from Markarth," Kaiya joked with her hand proudly in the air, "I hope to have added another to that list. That Thalmor in the Keep's been on my list for a while now." This caused Delvin and Vex to both voice their displeasure.

"A Thalmor?! You really don't have a conscience do you?" Vex spat. Delvin's dissent was a little more caring, "Aw love come on now, no one should stoop to that level. He doesn't see you as an equal, you know that."

"Hey I'm not showing up in an amulet of Mara or anything," Kaiya defended herself. "I just want a few hours with him, that's all."

Vekel found himself deflecting the ire of the thieves away once again. "All right, all right. This one will be interesting. What about an Orc?"

Only two hands were raised: Kaiya and Brynjolf. Kaiya looked around in surprise, "really guys? Well that's depressing. That Orc was one of the best lays I've ever had."

Sapphire took the opportunity to self promote. "Which Orc? Wanna hook me up?" Kaiya shot her a wink and a nod before replying, "the Jarl's personal blacksmith in Markarth. Right there on his workbench." This declaration earned Kaiya yet another high five from Brynjolf before the game was interrupted by a new patron entering the Flagon. _Mercer._

Kaiya did not need anyone to tell her who had just walked in. Whether it be from the reactions of others or just the strange otherworldly pull he had on her, she could feel it when he entered a room. It was as if someone sat on the edge of the air she was breathing, all her nerve endings sparking at the ripple in the atmosphere in the way she felt pulled towards his presence.

Kaiya's heart froze at the realization that this was the last conversation she ever wanted Mercer to overhear. She wasn't ashamed of her past, but she in no way wanted Mercer to get the wrong idea. What the wrong idea was escaped her at the moment, but she knew she didn't like the feeling of him knowing too much. Her mind scrambled to catch up to her current predicament, her fingers nervously spinning the ring she wore around her neck, trying valiantly not to give anything away with her facial expressions.

Mercer sauntered into the Flagon before taking up his preferred spot at the end of the bar. Vekel scurried away from the rest of the thieves to serve the Guildmaster, causing the room to fall silent. After being served his mead, Mercer looked over his shoulder at the thieves dispersed throughout the rest of the Flagon, all of them quietly watching his every move. He chuckled to himself at the apparent control he could exert over their evening without even trying before he made his first statement to his audience.

"You do realize it makes it more awkward when you get quiet when I enter a room, right?" He shook his head as he smirked. "No need to silence yourselves on my account. Continue." At this, he sipped his mead before diverting his attention away from the conversation. Kaiya was fully aware however that he seemed to be situated in a position in which he could still listen in if he wanted. Whether he chose to act on that or not was still a mystery.

Sapphire saw no reason to continue the silence after the Guildmaster so graciously urged them to continue. She turned her gaze to Kaiya to ask a question that had obviously been on her mind since before Mercer ever interrupted them. "So, Kai… would you say that the Orc was the best you've ever had?"

Kaiya's face blanched at the question, realizing she was in an awkward position. Either she answered and did exactly what she didn't want to do from the moment Mercer walked in, or she didn't, marking an obvious change in her behavior that could only be attributed to the presence of the Guildmaster in the room. She willed her mind to move faster in hopes that her pause wasn't too conspicuous before she conjured up a response.

"No," she answered honestly. "He was good, but he wasn't the best I've ever had."

This piqued the interest of a few others in the room, although Kaiya's attention was firmly on the profile of Mercer Frey, deciphering his every movement in hopes to see any reaction he might have to her confession. She tried not to keep her eyes locked on him, straining her peripherals to take in as much as possible.

Vex broke the silence and asked what many of them were thinking, "well then, who was the best?"

Either it was a result of the tankards upon tankards of mead that Kaiya had consumed that evening or because of the memories that flooded her mind once the question was asked but regardless of the cause, a lopsided smile slowly took over her face at the question. She knew the answer. Now she just had to figure out the best way to communicate it.

"It was a Breton, actually" she confessed, her eyes moving around the room so as to not leave them on Mercer for too long. She did see his head tilt slightly to the side however, indicating to her that he was listening. It seemed as though he wanted to hear where this would lead.

"You're just saying that because you're a Breton and you want us all to think you guys are best in bed," Tonilia argued. Before she knew what she was doing, Kaiya felt herself shaking her head in disagreement.

"No, I mean it. The best lay I've ever had was a fellow Breton." Encouraged by the smallest of movements from the Guildmaster, she continued. "He knew what I liked. He took control but not so much where I couldn't play too. He had confidence, but not too much where he didn't actively try to make sure I enjoyed it. He played a good game too, had me hook, line and sinker. It was fun."

If she had blinked she would have missed it - the smallest of smirks dancing across Mercer's face, barely visible from her view of his profile. His head was still positioned in a way that he could hear it all and she was certain he was hanging on to her every word. Her explanation was not enough for Sapphire however, who decided to push her for more details.

"Is that all you're going to give us? Do tell!"

Kaiya's lips curled involuntarily into a beaming smile before she looked down at her hands. Her pause must have brought Mercer some anxiety; he fidgeted in his seat as he awaited her answer.

"I'm sorry guys, but this is one I want to keep for myself." Her smile did not falter but grew larger as she watched Mercer's shoulders relax ever so slightly. The rest of the room looked at her in confusion - Kaiya was never one to hold back details. "What? I can't keep just one for me?" she asked, eyeing each thief in a silent plea for understanding.

Her plea must have been enough as they graciously let the conversation carry on. Tonilia jumped in and asked Brynjolf the same question to which he was happy to provide an answer. He described his encounter in detail, but Kaiya barely paid attention. Her heart thudded in her chest at all that had just transpired. When all eyes were on Brynjolf, her attention kept fluttering back to the Guildmaster who sat at the bar, eyes crinkling at the corners in obvious approval at her words.


	12. Chapter 12

_22nd of Morning Star 4E203_

As the night wore on, most of the thieves that had been wasting their time in the Flagon moved on to find a bed to crash into. Some slept in their own bed, others made their moves to find one with a partner. Kaiya remained firmly planted in her chair, too interested to see what may happen if she were to find herself alone with the Guildmaster, considering the events of the evening. Vekel made his way out, arm firmly draped around Tonilia's shoulders in a show of pride. Vex left through the false closet doors into the cistern, followed after a few moments by Delvin, who forced out a hurried goodbye before scurrying off. Kaiya and Mercer found themselves alone once again.

With the bravery only a night of drinking could provide, Kaiya stood and made her way to the counter where Mercer sat, facing forward and quiet. She plopped down on the stool next to him, both enjoying the silence for a moment before Kaiya spoke.

"Do they really think no one knows?"

Mercer lazily let his gaze drift over to the thief next to him, a quizzical smirk beginning at the corners of his mouth. "What do you mean?"

"Delvin and Vex. Do they not realize how obvious they are?" Kaiya chuckled once to herself as she shook her head. "I want to just shake them and tell them that no one cares."

"Ah, where's your imagination footpad?" Mercer replied, his voice deep and ragged from fatigue. One brow shot up as he continued, "it's a game for them."

Kaiya's eyes met her Guildmaster's, a devious smile spreading across her lips. "Can't say I blame them. I've been known to enjoy the game before myself." The implication hung in the air around them, neither needing to say a word to acknowledge it. Mercer didn't reply, which was no surprise. Maybe she was beginning to figure him out after all.

She stood on the rungs of her barstool to reach over the counter for another mead, her small frame stretched out as long as possible but the bottle remained just outside her range. A small laugh forced itself out of her chest as she turned her head to glare at Mercer who had not moved, eyeing her predicament with humor. "You just gonna sit there and mock me or will you help me out?" She became immediately aware of how close they were as she taunted him, heat rising to her cheeks in a traitorous blush.

"I have faith in you," he teased as he continued to watch her from his comfortable position on the barstool. To accentuate how little he planned on helping her, he took a sip of his mead and sighed with contentment. Her eyes narrowed at his response. "Really Mercer?! Get off your ass and help me out!" she cried in exasperation, her joking tone confirming that she was enjoying the game.

Without a word, he stood and instead of reaching over the bar and retrieving the mead for her, decided to grab onto her legs to support her weight as he dangled her over the bar. She shrieked at the movement, throwing her hands out to prevent what seemed like an inevitable fall. Realizing that he did not plan on dropping her on her face, she grabbed two bottles of mead as she laughed. "OK pull me up!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. Did you say drop me?"

"No!" she cried, laughter present in her voice. He pretended to let go of her legs to scare her into thinking he was dropping her. "Ah! Mercer! Pull me up!"

"Pull me up, what?" he chided, thoroughly enjoying her current predicament.

"Pull me up, please?!"

"That's more like it," he said as he relented. "You just had to ask nicely."

As he helped her back over the counter, his hand found its way to her waist to steady her descent. The contact made the blush across her face deepen and she silently cursed her fair skin for being so fickle. He set her back down before they both returned to their stools, smiles still plastered on their faces and staring forward, neither daring to mention the palpable shift in the nature of their current situation.

Kaiya's thoughts were racing and the effects of the mead were not making it easier to shake them off. The silence started to become an unwelcome entity between them, both of them awkwardly hanging onto it as to not betray their pride. Surprisingly, Mercer was the one to break it.

"Maven gave the go ahead on your skooma mission, by the way."

It was an awkward transition; they both felt it. Drunkenly emboldened, Kaiya couldn't let it go. She sighed heavily before responding.

"And we were having such a pleasant evening," she scoffed. "Guess it's back to business."

Mercer bristled at her challenge. "Well considering how badly you seemed to want to play the hero earlier, I assumed you'd be waiting with bated breath to hear an answer."

Unfazed, she laughed as she shook her head at his rebuttal. "Well I appreciate your quick response, but I'd rather not think about Maven right now."

Mercer's expression soured at the mention of her name. "Then let's not."

Silence fell between them once again. The way he consistently reacted with such palpable hatred to any mention of Maven continued to plague her. What was it about that woman that angered him so much? Sure, she was an absolute terror, but Kaiya had assumed that she must have a less antagonistic relationship with the master of the guild. Perhaps not. Perhaps she had only seen a fraction of the monster that Mercer had to contend with regularly. The thought made Kaiya's heart soften a bit for the Guildmaster. She could only imagine what it was like to take the brunt of Maven's ire to spare the rest of them. The man could be cold and unyielding, but these were the thoughts that caused Kaiya to perceive him differently. He was a good Guildmaster, of that there was no question.

She hadn't realized she had slipped into her own head until Mercer's voice brought her out of her reverie, once again being the first to break the silence.

"Two bottles, huh?" he joked, trying to ease the tension. "One for each hand, I presume?"

Kaiya smiled at his jab, thankful for his effort to take the conversation in a deliberately more casual direction. "Well, considering my quest for more mead depends on whether or not you feel obliged to help me reach it, I figured I'd grab two while I had the chance." Smile still on her face, she took a sip from one bottle and then the other, making a display of holding them both. "Look at you, sitting over there with only one tankard like some maiden," her lips transformed into a wolfish grin as she shrugged. "I guess I've just grown out of that phase." Another sip.

Mercer exhaled a laugh at her taunt. "Said like a true drunkard, Kaiya." He shifted his gaze to meet hers, the smile in his eyes causing her heart to thud against her ribs. That look, that exact expression, was the one that threatened to push Kaiya into the dangerous territory of becoming absolutely smitten with the man. She hated him for it, his ability to cause her heart to race and her skin to flush, but try as she might she could not get it to stop. The way he had just casually used her name in conversation did not help the damn thudding of her heart either. _Could he hear it?_ The blood pulsing through her veins seemed to pound in her ears, an audible reminder of her downward spiral into Oblivion.

They sat there, looking at each other, neither willing to escalate the moment by speaking. Kaiya stared forward, falling back on her old habit of nervously spinning her necklace in her fingers. She must have looked an obvious mess because it was apparent to her that he could tell exactly where her thoughts had gone. He didn't seem angered or even dismissive, but he also made it clear with his silence that this would be the end of it for the time being. As the tension in the room reached its peak, he stood and took a final sip of his mead as a clear gesture that he was calling it a night. "It's late," he commented as he turned to leave. "You have a job to do in the morning. I suggest you get some rest. We'll talk about the skooma job when you return."

Kaiya nodded at his words, her mind a whirlwind of trying to decipher what was left unspoken. Before he took his leave however, he asked "do you have everything you need for your trip?"

Her brows shot up in surprise at his question, a hint of caring present in his quiet words. A smirk flirted with the corner of her mouth before responding, her mind leaping in excitement at what she had just remembered. "Well, to be honest Guildmaster," she locked her eyes onto his to accentuate her playful tone, "you never paid me for my last job."

"Really?" he asked with a fair dose of skepticism. "That's convenient. And how much would you say I owe you?"

"You say that like you don't believe me, Guildmaster." For the third time that night, she tried her hand at appearing innocent. "I wouldn't lie to you about something like this. And you owe me 300 septims." She stuck her hand out to indicate she expected payment, her eyes never moving from his.

"Hmm," he hummed in thought. "And I'm guessing you want me to take you at your word?" Although doubtful, he nevertheless reached into his guild leathers to pull out his coin purse. "Here's 500," he stated, holding out the purse for her to take. This had to be a test.

"What? No, I'm not taking 500!" she exclaimed with false integrity. "I just need what you owe me, that's all."

A grin spread across his face, an indication that she passed whatever test he had been throwing her way. "You're right, you'd be gone for weeks if I gave you all that." He began counting out coins for her payment into his open palm. "Here's 200," his eyes took on a mischievous glint as he handed over the coin to her waiting hand. "I'll give you the rest when you return. That way you'll have to come back."

 _Was she hearing this correctly? Was he flirting? Was he insinuating he wanted her to return?_ Not to muck up a good thing, she played along. "It's funny you think I'd return just for 100 septims."

"Oh so you're saying it's not about the coin then, is that right?" he joked. "That's good to know. I guess I can stop paying you then. In fact, give me that 200 back!" His hand lingered on hers as they traded barbs, the contact not going unnoticed by Kaiya. She snatched the coin from him before he could retract it, breaking their touch.

"I didn't say all that now," she said as she stuffed the coins into her own purse, "I'm just saying that it's funny that you think I'm only here for the coin." Her eyes dared him to top the subtle flirtation she laid out for him. He said nothing, his expression merely changing into a playful glare. They stayed that way for a moment, how long she was unsure. It was most likely only a few seconds, but to her it felt like hours. She had taken a chance and was now holding on to the hope his good mood gave her that he would play along. She wasn't disappointed.

"This is the Thieves Guild, Kaiya." He said her name again. She felt her pulse quicken. "If you're not here for the coin, what else keeps you here?"

He did it. He took the bait. Her inner celebration was short lived however, quickly realizing she had no idea how to respond. She hopped off of her barstool and faced him as they stood, trying to buy herself some time. Her mind raced. _Come on Kaiya, don't muck this up…_

"The same thing that kept you at this bar tonight," she dared, leaning in closer to him to strike the final blow…

"Mead."

And with that, she turned and walked off, leaving the Guildmaster alone to ponder his thoughts.


	13. Chapter 13

_24th of Morning Star 4E203_

With a deep breath to calm her frayed nerves, Kaiya pushed open the ornate Dwarven doors that led into the city of Markarth. She was almost done. All she had to do was return the silver mold to Endon and she could leave this gods forsaken stone city and head back to Riften. It was later than she would have liked, the only light illuminating the marketplace from the torches of the guards and sconces decorating the walls. Her eyes darted around nervously in an effort to take in as much of her surroundings as possible. She willed herself not to reach for her necklace and readjusted her hood for the upteenth time to ensure only a small fraction of her face was visible as she made her way to the Silver-Blood Inn.

As soon as she pushed open the doors to the inn, she was reminded why she hated this city. A barrage of noise hit her at once - the barkeep argued with his wife, a drunk at the bar challenged anyone who would listen to a fight, the old Skald was singing songs about how wonderful Nords were. The smell of sweat and metal assaulted her senses, the unmistakable stench of drunk laborers that lined the bar. It may not have been that much different from any other tavern in Skyrim at the moment but to Kaiya, it all reaffirmed her need to get out fast. In order to keep up appearances, she stopped at the bar to order a mead, keeping her head turned so that none of the gawking smelter workers next to her would get a glimpse of her face. She used the opportunity while she waited to let her eyes roam around the room, seeking out the Redguard she was to be meeting here. Spotting him by the fireplace, she snatched the mead out of the barkeep's hands and tossed a few coins on the counter, shutting down the exchange as quickly as it had begun.

Endon noticed her as she approached and tried not to draw attention to himself for the sake of maintaining some level of privacy. When she was in earshot, he spoke. "Did you get it?"

"Yeah," she answered, her eyes not meeting with his in order to continue scanning her surroundings. Absently, she reached in her bag and pulled out the silver mold in question before practically tossing it to the smith. "You sure this is all you need? It was a pretty big haul."

And it was. Kaiya had been shocked when she had seen all the coin and gems sitting out in the bandits' treasure room. She could hardly comprehend how clients would forego asking for anything other than one specific sentimental item or in this case, a damn piece of smithing equipment. She usually guessed that those were the reasons she was the thief and they were the client, but it baffled her nonetheless.

"You found it!" Endon exclaimed with excitement, taking the mold into his hands as if it were a priceless artifact. "You have no idea how much this means to me."

Kaiya stared back at him in a wordless response. The lack of enthusiasm from the thief seeped into their conversation, causing the smith to feel a bit put off. Just like that, they both had the same goal of ending this transaction as quickly as possible.

"I appreciate you doing this for me," he said, his eyes meeting hers. "The guild can now count me as an ally in Markarth."

She nodded dismissively, "just doing our job." Her eyes began scanning the room again to prepare for her exit. The silversmith noticed her anxious behavior but thought better not to comment on it.

"In addition to your payment, I paid for a room for you for the night so you could get some rest." He gave her a soft smile before continuing, "it's the least I could do and I'm sure you could use a break."

"While I appreciate the gesture," Kaiya responded, her body language clearly disengaging from the conversation, "I actually have to get back on the road tonight." His responding blank stare held questions she was uncomfortable with answering, so she kept up with her explanation. "I'm needed back in Riften as soon as possible."

Endon continued to stare at her in confusion for a moment. "Are you sure? It's late. The roads in the Reach are dangerous at night."

Kaiya laughed humorlessly. "Well from what I remember of my last stay in this city, it's dangerous within the walls too." Her statement must have hit a nerve with the silversmith who looked down in concern.

"Well, I wish I could disagree with you" he spoke mournfully as he remembered some of the previous events they had witnessed in his city, "but I understand. Take care of yourself."

With a nod and a few words of thanks, she took her leave from the conversation. She scurried out of the inn, not even staying long enough to finish her bottle of mead she had purchased. Exiting the inn, her brisk walk led her straight to the ornate doors of the city once again in an effort to flee. Her eyes darted around and her heart raced as her sweaty palms grappled for the handle to the door. As soon as she stepped outside, she felt her shoulders relax and took a deep breath to steady her nerves. "Gods, I hate this damned city," she thought as she quickly made her way to the waiting carriage, its driver fast asleep at the helm.

"Kibell!" she whispered tensely, shaking his shoulder to wake him. "Kibell! I need a ride!"

The driver's eyes slowly opened, their first sight a rather panicked Breton. He looked around and rubbed his eyes as he slowly sat up, the last tendrils of sleep still holding on. "Kaiya?" he croaked out groggily, "What in gods name is going on?"

Kaiya bit her lip nervously in recognition of how this must have looked to the weary driver. "I need a ride, Kibell. I need to get back to Riften."

"Is something wrong?" he turned his body to look around him, verifying that the city was not on fire. "Why do you need to go in the middle of the night? Do you have any idea how dangerous these roads are at this hour?"

She sighed heavily at his words. _What was it with these people and being so afraid of the dark?_ "Yes, I know Kibell, but you leave that to me." A reassuring smile crept across her lips as she squeezed his shoulder. "You know I wouldn't let anyone hurt us."

A blush spread across the cheeks of the driver, making Kaiya feel a tinge of guilt at using flirtation to get her way when he clearly had no desire to comply. "All right, all right," he consented as he grabbed the reins. "But why don't you sit up front with me?" It was his turn to flash a flirtatious grin as he pat the space next to him. "I wouldn't want to fall asleep on the drive and put us in danger. I bet you could keep me awake though."

Kaiya inwardly groaned at the situation she had gotten herself into, but the desire to get out of the Reach overruled any squeamishness she had towards the driver. If anything, this was one more reason why being able to fight dragons could have its upsides - if she could take down a dragon, a creepy man was nothing to fear.

* * *

The carriage trudged on through the night, winding through the rolling hills of the Reach. Despite the fear this area had over the inhabitants of Markarth, the ride had been uneventful. Kaiya had to fight off a couple of wolves at one point and they remained silent as they crept past a giant encampment, but that had been it. It had lured them both into a false sense of security. When an arrow came flying between both of their heads before embedding itself into the wood of the carriage, they were reminded that this area was indeed unsafe.

Before Kibell could even think of screaming in fear, Kaiya had sprung up and taken on a fighting stance. She turned, taking a glance at the arrow between them to try to identify their assailants. _Forsworn_.

LAAS YAH NIR!

The shout detected the heartbeats of those who threatened the carriage, illuminating them in a red haze. There were six of them. She could handle this.

She decided to go for intimidation with the hopes that a very worthy fighter would at least give the Forsworn pause. In each hand, a vortex of purple swirled, preparing to conjure some backup.

With a crack, an Oblivion gate opened to the right of the carriage, another to the left.

"THERE YOU ARE, WEAKLING!" The conjured Dremora cried as he ran, weapon raised above his head, at four of the red blotches blinking across the hills.

To her left, the storm atronach rumbled to life, swiftly floating towards the hiding Forsworn. Sheer power flowed from the entity as it moved, crackling and booming with electricity as long, purple streaks lit up the night sky.

With her conjurations distracting the Reachmen, Kaiya took the opportunity to grab Kibell's shoulders and threw him to the floor of the carriage. "Stay down and whatever you do, do NOT try to be a hero right now" she warned as she jumped over the front of the carriage to rush towards the oncoming fight.

Her left hand glowed green as she called up an armor spell, the spell popping the air around her as it took form over her body. This was all too familiar to the thief, her mind finding its way into battle like it were muscle memory.

"They fucked with the wrong Breton tonight." She growled under her breath as her vision zoned in on the scurrying Forsworn, the familiar broiling heat of revenge taking over her nerves.

"Come out and fight me you fucking savages!" she screamed rabidly, her right hand unsheathing her sword as her left hand prepared to conjure a bound one.

Her provocation worked, a Ravager running full speed towards her down stone path ahead. Under her breath she growled, "you just wrote your own epitaph, asshole."

FUS RO DAH!

The Ravager did not have time to flee the oncoming Shout as it drove into his chest and sent him flying backwards. Kaiya conjured the sword in her left hand and picked up speed, running right for the stumbling Forsworn as he attempted to stand.

His last living sight was the feral face of a fellow Breton as she brought her sword down with a vicious strength, decapitating him in one blow. His head rolled down the embankment and to the feet of one of his comrades who watched in horror.

The spectator looked up at Kaiya whose full attention was now squarely on her. She panicked, freezing in place as Kaiya approached at full speed before her instincts kicked in and she met the charging Breton's blows with her own toothed swords, clanging of metal on bone ringing out into the night.

Kaiya took a step back, leading her foe into believing she was retreating before putting all of her force behind her foot, kicking it straight into the Forsworn's chest. Stumbling back and trying to catch her breath, she had no defence as Kaiya continued her onslaught.

ZUN HAAL!

With these two words of the Dragonborn's Shout, the swords held up in defence by the struggling Forsworn went flying from her grip and into the bushes behind. Panic stricken, the native looked up to her attacker with silent resignation, accepting the final blow with dignity. Kaiya planted both feet firmly before her, crossing both of her swords at the Forsworn's throat before slicing with a force that could only come from unbridled rage, the girl's head falling off of her shoulders and rolling to accompany her lifeless feet as her body crumbled to the ground.

Kaiya looked up to assess her situation, eyes darting around for her next adversary. She extinguished the bound sword in her left hand before casting her detect life spell, looking for any remaining threat that her conjurations had not handled.

There was one remaining. Recasting her armor spell and conjuring another bound sword, she charged towards the last living attacker. He sensed her presence, turning around to face her as he finished off the storm atronach. It was just the two of them now.

She pressed forward, teeth bared and eyes wide. He stood still, letting her make up the distance between them. She moved closer, and closer, so close in fact that he could make out her feral expression and see the hate emanating from her stare.

"Kaiya?"

Her approach came to a dead stop at the sound of her name. _No. No it couldn't be._

"Hello Madanach, it's been a while." She stood firm, glare fastened on the old native's features.

"That it has, Kaiya. That it has."


	14. Chapter 14

_26th of Morning Star 4E203_

Kaiya was jolted awake, her head knocking against the floor of the carriage as one of its wheels dropped dramatically into a hole in the road. While she would have preferred waking up in a less painful way, she was thankful that she was at least given a reprieve from her nightmares. They had plagued her quite often throughout most of the past six months, but the last week had been brutal. It was as though every time she closed her eyes she was met with the most torturous of visions, consistently waking in a panic and without providing her body with much rest at all. She rubbed the side of her head that had collided with the wooden planks while she tried to shake off remaining influence of the last nightmare that had been ravaging her mind. As her consciousness came back into focus, Kaiya was immediately aware of her location, not because of the trees or the mountains, but the overwhelming smell. They had made it to the Rift. A weak smile crept across her face as she breathed in the crisp pine scent that hung in the air. She was almost home.

She had always loved the Rift - the vibrant reds and yellows that adorned the white trunked trees, the warmth that seemed to reside in this corner of Skyrim alone as if it were exiled from the rest of the holds, the smell of the grass and plants as they were allowed to grow unimpeded by snow or ice. While she had always loved it here, it had just recently begun to feel like home. She felt herself grow excited at the thought that she would soon be back in the cistern with her fellow guild members, drinking and swapping stories of recent heists.

As she thought about what she had to look forward to, she became more aware of a slow, invading force from memories of what had transpired on the road. The memories made her stomach tighten, suddenly feeling as though it was sitting in her throat. The pleasant mood that arriving in the Rift had provided was now gone as thoughts of dead Forsworn and a horrified carriage driver flashed across her mind. She would have no stories to tell in the Flagon tonight.

The carriage groaned as it pulled up the hill to the stables outside of Riften, her driver turning to look over his shoulder to ensure she was awake. It wasn't Kibell that led them now but a new driver she did not quite know since she forced Kibell to return to Markarth after their little incident. She had snuck off when he wasn't paying attention after they rented rooms in the Vilemyr Inn, not wanting to force him to escort her any further. He had been through enough. Her new coach driver, whoever he was, was a graciously silent Nord who seemed to loathe small talk of any kind and for that, she was grateful.

She grabbed her bag and gave her thanks to the driver as her journey finally came to an end. Her feet on solid ground again, Kaiya took the opportunity to stretch out her tired, stiff muscles. What she wouldn't give for a warm bath. She'd have to settle for a few moments with a washbasin and a warm bed, but that seemed like a luxury to her now.

From the look of the sky around her, it was just after dawn. The ride from Markarth to Riften was painfully long, taking an entire day's time to make it one way. It had been three nights since she slept in a real bed and all she could think about was how thankful she was that the cistern was dark, cool and quiet in the morning. Ah, the thief life.

Her achy body climbed down the ladder into the cistern, all too aware of how badly she needed some rest. Just as she had imagined, the giant room was quiet except for the sound of cascading water. Her eyes habitually trained on the Guildmaster desk across the water to see it standing empty. No Guildmaster yet. _Must still be asleep_ , she thought to herself. A smile crept up on her lips at the thought as she made her way into one of the makeshift sleeping areas to find a place to crash.

 _Mercer sleeping_. Even tyrants with personalities larger than life need to sleep. It was little reminders like these that fueled her fascination with the Guildmaster; the everyday actions of normal people seemed so alien when she thought of Mercer doing them. These thoughts played in her mind as she cleaned off in a washbasin and took off her outer leathers before plopping into a spare bed. She lied there, staring at the stone ceiling and listening to the peaceful sounds of the water gushing from the walls as she imagined the Guildmaster stretched out in the same position somewhere else, fast asleep. Her heavy eyelids drooped and closed as she drifted off to sleep herself, with thoughts of meeting Mercer in her dreams. If only it worked that way.

* * *

"Kaiya! Kaiya wake up! Kaiya you're screaming!"

Kaiya sat up in a panic, eyes bulging and breath panting, her undershirt clinging to her small frame with sweat. As usual when this sort of thing happened to her, she had to take a few moments to anchor herself to reality before she could move on.

" _I'm in the cistern. I'm in a bed. I'm here with…_ " one of her tightly closed eyes opened just enough to see who had woken her, " _I'm here with Delvin. I'm safe. I'm not alone. Deep breath in, 2, 3 and out, 2, 3._ "

"Are you alright, sweetheart?" Delvin's worried voice broke through her meditation. One of his hands gripped her shoulder as if that was the only tether keeping her on this plane. He wasn't completely wrong.

"I'm uh…" Kaiya's voice croaked in reply "I'm OK. Thank you." Her eyes still closed, she exhaled one last time before opening them and looking around herself. "Whew!" she laughed, awkwardly. "So give it to me straight Delvin, how much of an ass did I just make of myself?"

Delvin's eyes grew huge in surprise at her question. "An ass? Love, what's goin' on?"

She knew this would happen one day. She should be thankful it was just Delvin here and not all of the guild around her bed like worrying mothers. "I have nightmares, that's all" she replied, sitting up and throwing her casual tone into the mix in order to lighten up his mood. Her fingers betrayed her however, resorting back to their familiar nervous habit of spinning the ring she wore around her neck.

Delvin ran a hand across his bald head as he exhaled. "You had me worried there, love. You were screaming and thrashing and yelling for-"

"Enough!" Kaiya blurted out as she put her hands up to Delvin's lips to silence him. "I'm pretty aware of what I usually dream about Delvin, you don't need to make me relive it again when I'm awake."

He shot her a sheepish smile as her words sunk in. "Ah, sorry sweetheart. But you're OK?"

Now it was Kaiya's turn to be the comforter. She placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed, an understanding smile on her lips. "I'm all right, thanks Delvin. It wasn't the first time and it probably won't be the last, but I appreciate you waking me up."

"You're not the only one haunted by your past, love. If you ever want to talk about it, I'll listen."

This completely altruistic offer from Delvin shot right to Kaiya's heart, causing tears to begin filling up her eyes, threatening to spill over. In an instinctive response, her arms shot out and pulled Delvin to her into a hug. She clung to him in desperation, in thanks, in fear, all pouring out of her through her vice like grip on her friend. He just sat quietly and returned her hug, one hand rubbing slowly up and down her back.

"Thank you, Delvin," she whispered in his ear, "Vex is a lucky woman."

She felt him stiffen before he let out a single laugh "I don't know what you're talking about, love. But I'll take it as a compliment all the same."

Kaiya laughed at his clumsy dismissal, "you're ridiculous, you know that?"

"We all are, sweetheart. You'd have to be to spend all your time in a godsdamned sewer. Now come on, let me buy you a drink."

They sat at the Flagon for a while, just the two of them, talking and swapping more stories as Delvin tried to get Kaiya to relax. When she told him that she hated Markarth he said she didn't have to go there anymore if she didn't want to, to which she told him she'd slice his balls if he babied her or denied her any jobs. They settled right back into the natural rhythm their relationship had formed over the past few months and Kaiya could not help herself but to think of how much had changed in her life. She had friends, real friends. She had a family again. This is exactly what she had needed. Now all she had left to accomplish was to let herself fall for someone instead of running away with a lame excuse and she might actually be doing a solid job of impersonating a well rounded adult.

As if on cue, Kaiya felt the air around her shift and grow heavier as the door to the Flagon flung open and the sound of boots on stone signified someone was entering. She couldn't stop herself from turning to meet his eyes when he walked in; it had been three days since she saw him last and she surprised herself with how much she had actually missed him being around. The thought made her gulp in fear until he turned the corner and entered the room and all of that just fell away.

His eyes caught hers, the green of them burning her from the inside as if his gaze were enchanted. She felt a chill run down her spine at the almost palpable spark that shot off as their eyes met. Her infatuation with him was getting a little out of hand, although she had to admit that lately it seemed like it may not just be her that noticed this connection. He felt it too. He had to. Otherwise, why was he smiling at her like that?

"You made it back to us, I see" his voice rumbled out of his chest towards her, a note of excitement barely audible in his tone. "I guess you'll be wanting your pay." He sat in his favorite stool but still faced the blushing Kaiya as he leaned back into the counter.

Kaiya smirked to match his playful stare, "well someone's up late tonight. You waiting up just to pay me for that job or is there something else keeping you up, Guildmaster?"

They stared at each other for a moment, both of them with stupid grins plastered on their faces and practically trembling at the electricity present in the room. Kaiya's eyes drifted from her Guildmaster's to Delvin's for a moment and the look on his face made her freeze. That look. A smirk with a raised eyebrow. It screamed _I see what's going on here_. Kaiya felt her stomach drop just as Delvin shot her a wink before standing up to excuse himself "I'll be going but Kaiya don't worry, I'll pass that message along to Vex." Another wink.

At first Kaiya was completely confused by his statement before it clicked with his wink. He meant that he may see what's happening here, but her secret was safe with him. Because she knew about him and Vex. She felt like she could kiss Delvin at that realization. She would have to thank him later but for now, she was alone, once again, with her Guildmaster at the bar.

Kaiya lazily drug her bottle of mead off the table as she sauntered over to the bar to sit next to the smirking Guildmaster. His eyes didn't leave hers, watching her every move as she made her way towards him. As she sat, his smell overwhelmed her. It wasn't any stronger than it normally was but after not being around it for a few days, it stood out. Rain, stone and wet leather. The past three days had definitely changed their relationship.

"Miss me?" she shot him a smile that was more in her eyes than on her lips.

"No, I finally had some peace and quiet at the bar at night without someone here to disturb me." His words were cold but his eyes said otherwise, baiting her to fire back.

"Oh then by all means, O Sulky One, you may have your quiet and I will sit here in silence as I think of how to spend all that gold you're going to give me."

"I thought you didn't care about the gold." Not a question, but a statement, leveled at Kaiya with piercing eyes.

"What's that? I'm sorry I missed it over all the peace and quiet I was giving you." Her smile was downright sinful, taunting the Guildmaster. He just stared at her.

And stared. She tried to concentrate on her mead bottle to stop from laughing. He continued to stare. She finally broke with a laugh, "OK! You win, but you can't say I don't give you peace and quiet, ya ass!" She joked as she lightly slapped him on the shoulder.

A smirk was on his lips although the corners of his eyes showed the true nature of his smile. Kaiya took a final sip of the bottle of mead she had and sat her empty bottle on the bar.

"So I'm guessing it would be too much to ask you to help me get another bottle of mead?" She feigned innocence as she looked up at the Guildmaster through her lashes, meeting his humored gaze. He just shrugged and took a sip of his own mead before responding.

"Depends, what's in it for me?" His eyes threw all of the flirtation he could muster into the stare he leveled at her.

 _Oh, so we're playing this game?_ She stood from the barstool, placing herself conveniently between the legs of the sitting Guildmaster before leaning towards him. Without a word, she took his mead from his hand and took a sip of it and slid back onto her stool, bracing herself with a hand on his thigh. She continued to face him as she sat, her frame still somehow wedged in between his legs. _Your move, Guildmaster_.

Mercer's smirk grew at her blatant theft. He leaned over slowly, moving his face within inches of hers, and paused. Kaiya felt her heart pounding at the sudden closeness, a chill moving over her skin at the possibilities of what could happen next. With one arm bracing his weight against the counter, the other hand slowly moved across Kaiya's thigh, up higher and higher, until it settled on her hands holding the bottle of mead in her lap. He slowly slid the bottle out of her hands to accentuate what he was doing before sliding back comfortably into his own stool and taking a sip.

 _Damn that man!_ Kaiya crossed her arms and furrowed her brow in displeasure at his stunt, causing Mercer to let a snicker escape out of him at the sight. She stood, still somewhat awkwardly positioned between Mercer's open legs as he sat on the stool.

"Well that's fine, I didn't need another anyway," she started to get her things to leave. "I have other things I could be doing."

With a barely audible chuckle, Mercer waited until she turned her back to him before he reached out and grabbed her arm, pulling her back. She now was wedged between his legs once again, but her back leaned against his chest. She was close enough that his smell took over her senses, leather, oils and when she smelled his skin, water and stone. He wrapped one arm around her shoulders, holding her against his chest and leaned to speak directly into her ear. "Did I say you could leave yet, footpad?"

Her heart thudded wildly at everything that was happening around and to her - his smells, his arm holding her to him, the feeling of his voice rumbling out of his chest directly into her ear, it was almost too much. She let her hands come up and rest on the arm draped across her collarbone, almost as if this were a romantic pose.

"To quote my stubborn ass of a Guildmaster" she replied, turning her head to look straight at him. She could feel his breath hitting her face. She looked at his lips and back to his eyes before continuing. "What's in it for me?"

Mercer's eyebrows shot up and his smirk grew wicked, his arm around her tightening at her taunt. He could try to hide it all he wanted but in this close proximity, Kaiya knew it got to him. He leaned down to place his lips by her ear, causing the smallest of shivers to roll down her body at the feeling of his breath on her again.

"See this is where you're mistaken footpad," he growled into her ear, "nothing has to be in it for you. If I say you stay, then you stay, understood?"

Another shiver took over Kaiya's body, settling in her core. Her mind raced with accusations to convince herself that she was wrong for liking it.

"Well in that case," Kaiya turned towards him, "what's in it for you?"

She could feel his breathing grow heavier, the smell of mead dancing along her skin with each breath. She felt his grip tighten across her collarbone and his hand tighten on her shoulder where it rested, crushing her against his leathers. She felt his chest against her back, rising and falling with his heavy breaths.

"Was that a question or were you making me an offer?"

His forwardness caught Kaiya by surprise. He was spinning his web again, the one that tangled her up so completely that night so long ago. As much as she wanted to fall into it and let him have his way, she knew better. She couldn't let him win so easily. Time to step her game up.

She leaned into him, nuzzling into the crook of his neck and running her hands back and forth along his arm that held her pinned to him. With a few content sighs she knew she had him hanging onto her words. She went up onto her toes so she could reach his ear and whisper in it as he did hers.

"It's merely a question, Mercer. I'm far more curious than I am stupid. Make an offer to the Guildmaster? I'm no fool."

He let out a small chuckle that she felt reverberate in his chest and lowered his head into the crook of her neck, taking in her scent. His other hand, previously holding onto the bar for stability, moved to rest on her hip. Every cell in her body was alive, thrumming with excitement at his every touch. She was enveloped in him and while she should be fearful, she felt nothing but the thrill of where this was heading.

"That's a shame," he rumbled, his voice barely more audible than a groan. "I had half a mind to give you what you asked." His hand at her hip slid across her body to hold her to him. "But since you're in no mood for bartering, I guess you're free to go." With that, he slowly released her from his hold as he sat back in his stool, letting his hands slide across her hip and collarbone as they retreated.

She stood breathless for a moment, letting her head reattach to her body at the loss of his contact. Her face felt hot and flushed, her heart racing. Not to be outdone, she slowly turned to face him, resting her hands on either thigh, letting herself feel the muscles tighten beneath her hands. She let her lips curve into a wicked grin before running a hand through her wild blonde mane, never breaking the eye contact that continued to spark the connection between them.

"You've taught me well, Guildmaster," she grinned, letting her hands slide up his thighs. "Never take a deal if a better one could be made later."

And with that she slowly slid her hands back off his thighs before turning to leave, casting one promising look over her shoulder at him as she waltzed off. The hungry smirk he wore was sure to leave a lasting impression on her as she made her way out, once again leaving the Guildmaster alone with his thoughts.


	15. Chapter 15

_27th of Morning Star 4E203_

As soon as Kaiya reached her bed in the cistern, she allowed herself to react to what had just transpired between her and Mercer. Stupid grin on her face, she lied back onto the bed with a contented sigh, letting the butterflies have their way in her stomach without trying to fight them. This was it. She was finally letting herself feel something for the older Breton, finally admitting that she may have a bit of a crush. She was tired of fighting it. What was the point anyway? He obviously was interested in at least teasing her into a crazed stupor, and even if that was all he wanted, she could live with that. She loved the game.

As she laid in her bed and let her skin stop tingling and her heart stop racing, she was met with the reality that there was no use in even trying to sleep. She had only been awake for a matter of hours anyway and there was too much energy bouncing around inside her body to ever will it into slumber. Just as she had done a thousand times, she gathered her sword belt from the chest by her bed and made her way to the training room in the cistern. Hacking away at that straw dummy always made her feel better, whether it was to let out aggression, nervous energy or just to focus her thoughts. She loved her time in the training room in the middle of the night when no one else was around. It was almost a religious experience for her, a meditation.

She stood before the training dummy in complete stillness for a moment, just letting her shoulders relax and her mind prepare for the ritual. In one swift movement, she unsheathed her practice blades - a dull, heavy dagger in her left hand and a matching dull, heavy sword in her right. She spun them around once, exhaled deeply, set her eyes on the target of the dummy in front of her and brought her body into the familiar crouch of a dual wielder.

She started out as she always did, her signature jab with her dagger straight into the ribcage area of her opponent. It never failed, no matter what they wielded, to be effective. She found herself falling into the familiar dance, jabbing with her dagger and slashing with her sword. Spinning and twirling around the dummy, she worked on her focus, keeping her eyes trained onto the bullseye on the chest. She parried a few imaginary blows, dancing out of the way of others, finally feeling her mind set into that cathartic place she loved so much - no thinking, no planning, just being.

"Your footing could use some work."

The sudden voice out of nowhere caused Kaiya to shriek, stumbling back a few steps before regaining her composure and taking up her stance again. She was surprised she hadn't felt him enter. She must really have been into it this time.

"And what would you know about footing, Mercer?" she smiled, out of breath, as her attack continued on the dummies before her. A challenge.

Mercer just laughed as he leaned against the doorway to the practice room, not taking a step further for fear of stepping a little too close to swinging blades. "I know enough, trust me."

She let her blades drop to her sides while she took him in, leaning against the stone with his arms crossed, as casual as ever. Kaiya couldn't tell if he was being serious or not, so she decided to call him on his bluff. The worst thing that could happen would be getting a free lesson out of him.

"Wait, are you serious? Then please, by all means, show me what you know." She waved for him to enter the room, but his look was suspicious at best. "I mean it! I haven't trained with anyone in too long and I don't want to get rusty."

He cautiously approached her in the training room, eyeing her carefully as to not step into some trap she was setting. "Let me see your stance."

She fell into the familiar crouch that she had gone into a thousand times before, her dagger hand out in front of her, her sword held up behind. Her eyes pinned to Mercer's who stood before her, evaluating her stance. "Not bad," he responded, walking around to view it all "but what if I did this?"

With two fingers, he reached towards her and pushed her collarbone, not hard enough to hurt but hard enough to cause her to lose her balance and topple backwards, her feet unable to catch her before she slammed back into the ground. In one swift motion, Mercer had unsheathed his own dagger and held it to her throat, his legs straddling both of her arms and rearing her indefensible. A predatory smile crept up his lips at the sight of the shocked and frustrated Breton below him.

"You're putting too much weight on your back leg, footpad" he stated as fact. "You've got to keep your weight balanced if you're going to wield two weapons. That is, if you want to actually be good at it and not just do it to look like a badass." As he spoke, he had begun to lean forward, his face now close to hers. He removed the dagger from her throat and let it rest under his palm that he used to brace himself on the floor. "Whadd'ya say, footpad? Try again?"

She was shocked that he actually knew a thing or two about how to dual wield. In her travels all over Skyrim and a few trips to Solstheim, she had met a mere handful of people who could dual wield effectively, and even less that were willing to train her. She nodded at his question and squirmed under him, a signal for him to move, but he stayed still. "Tsk Tsk" he scolded her, shaking his head. "Where are your manners? What do you say?"

"Will you get off me so we can train?" She knew that wasn't what he wanted, but she loved the game.

His smile took on a mock disappointed glare. "Oh come on now footpad, I know you can ask nicer than that."

"Will you please let me up so I can train, oh wise leader?"

A laugh escaped him as he relented to her request, standing up and stepping aside so she could get off the hard, stone floor. After making her do her stance over and over and over again until he could push her and she didn't fall down, he asked her to attack the dummy again. She wanted to show him everything she could do, so she went for a power attack, just so they could start from there. She struck with her dagger, then sword, then spun and struck with her blade and followed up with one more jab from her dagger - four impressive strikes to the body of the dummy in less than four seconds.

She turned to face him, expecting to see an impressed look on his face but the expression that met her was anything but impressed. With his brows almost reaching his hairline, he seemed shocked but at the same time, validated, as if a long held belief was just confirmed in one moment. He instructed her to take her stance again without a single word about her attack before stepping behind her and making minor adjustments. His hands on her body sent sparks through her skin, but nothing compared to the storm that he set off with his next statement. Just ten little words:

"When were you planning to tell me you were Forsworn?"

Her face fell with immediate dread, her stomach rising up to sit in her throat. All at once, her posture straightened as stiff as a pillar and in a distant, other world she heard her blades clamour as they hit the stone floor. She stood for a moment in silence, her Guildmaster uttering nothing from his position behind her.

"What did you say?" she managed to croak out of her dry throat.

"I said you're Forsworn," he replied cautiously, "and I was wondering when you were planning on telling me that."

In a split second, she turned to face him, her hands grabbing the collar of his guild leathers. "Who told you that?!" she shrieked, tears beginning to form in her eyes. "Who told you!?"

He calmly put his hands over hers, his eyes not moving from where they held her rabid stare. "No one told me, Kaiya." His voice was calm, even. "I figured it out, that's all."

The room began to spin and she found herself holding onto Mercer for balance, then as an anchor to hold her to this plane. "I need to sit down" was the last thing she said before she succumbed to blackness.

* * *

"Kaiya?"

She heard her name. It sounded like it was coming from the other end of a long tunnel. That made sense. A tunnel would explain why it was so dark in here. Light slowly started to filter into her vision, her focus creeping up to allow her to see her surroundings. In front of her, mere inches away, was the face of her Guildmaster, brows furrowed with worry as he held her head in his palms.

"Kaiya wake up!"

She felt a few light smacks to her face and groaned in annoyance, clumsily swatting away his hand. "Why ya hittin' me, Mercer?" It was barely loud or coherent enough for him to make out, but he seemed to understand and let out a single chuckle as he shook his head.

"Well that escalated quickly," he joked, standing up straight and letting out a breath he seemed to have been holding in for hours. As Kaiya's focus returned, so did her memories. The last thing she remembered was aggressively holding onto the collar of Mercer's leathers but now she found herself sitting atop a barrel in the corner of the training room.

"How'd I get over here?" she questioned, her voice still a bit shaky.

"You passed out on me, so I brought you over here."

"You carried me?" her cheeks reddened at the realization. "Oh man the first time you do something nice and I'm not awake to enjoy it."

He let himself smile at her response. "I'm no beast, Kaiya. You passed out. What did you think I would do? Let you drop on the floor and walk off?"

"Is this one of those questions where you pretend like you're looking for honesty but really you don't want me to be honest?" she looked up at him while she let one hand run through her hair. "I've never been good with those questions, Mercer."

He ignored her teasing and cradled her face in his hands, checking her eyes for signs of trouble. To Kaiya's dismay, it wasn't a romantic gesture, merely a medical one. At least now she knew that if she ever wanted Mercer's attention, passing out seemed to work.

As if he felt her mood improve under his hands, he decided on pressing her on the line of questions that made her faint in the first place. "Why the fear, Kaiya? You don't strike me as someone with much to be afraid of, but yet mentioning the F word made you fall to pieces."

Kaiya smiled sheepishly at her weakness, she hated when people found out she could still be a human with human fear. "I don't know, honestly. It's not like I'm afraid of them anymore. I've taken out whole redoubts full of them since then, so I'm not afraid of them. Old habits die hard, I guess."

He just looked at her knowingly before hopping up to sit next to her on another barrel. "You know I have no idea what you mean, right? I guessed you were Forsworn, that doesn't mean I know your entire backstory."

"Well at least I have some secrets left," Kaiya joked but Mercer's piercing gaze did not waver. She sighed, realizing that she was going to have to tell him more than she wanted. "You guessed right, Mercer. I was Forsworn. Raised in a redoubt in the Reach. Escaped a few years ago and haven't looked back since."

"And you're scared that they'll come after you?"

"I was, at least at first. Like I said, I don't worry much about that anymore. It's been too long. They've no doubt cut their losses by now."

He nodded in understanding as she looked down at her legs, swinging back and forth. "Is that common, for them to go after anyone who's escaped?"

She laughed, her eyes still on her boots. "When you were the rank I was, yes."

His eyebrows shot up at this admittance. "Go on…" he coaxed, not wanting to have to pull every answer to every question out of her.

"I was in line to become Hagraven." She shook her head with a scoff at how ridiculous it sounded now, underground in a sewer in Riften, half a world away from the life she led before. "They were preparing me to 'receive Hircine's blessing,' as they called it, from when I was a teen. I didn't know any different, so I let my ego get inflated and thought it was cool." She scoffed at herself now, shaking her head at her naivety.

"I trained with a bow and swords before they started training me in magic. It was all a whirlwind. I see that now, but back then I was just a kid." Her let her eyes wander over to Mercer who was watching her closely.

"What made you want to leave?" he asked, his voice softer than she had ever heard him speak before.

"Funny story, really." She laughed as she remembered, one of those dark laughs that shows that finding humor in it is the only way she can think about it. "I was involved with this guy, right? Gods I hate that all stories have to involve some guy. Why couldn't it just be my story?"

"Kaiya, you're rambling."

"Sorry. But yeah, I was in a relationship with a guy in the redoubt. A bit older, more experienced. I was young and in love, or so I thought. Everyone saw us as the power couple of our tribe, the girl who will one day become Hagraven and the guy who will soon become Briarheart."

"Ah." Was Mercer's response, his eyes moving down to look at his own boots, no doubt guessing where this story was heading.

"Yep. I don't have to tell you what happens next, I bet. The boyfriend goes through the ritual and becomes a Briarheart. Everyone is so happy and so proud of him, his parents were practically beaming."

"All except you, right?" Mercer's eyes were back on her as she spoke.

"Right. To me, he seemed like a different person. He no longer had the sense of humor I used to be so drawn to, and his face wouldn't change at all when he saw me. He would still say his obligatory 'I love yous' or whatever, but there was no emotion behind his words. It was like dating a ghost."

Her head dropped as she stared at her feet, the story no doubt taking its toll on her. "That was the first time I actually started thinking hard about what becoming a Hagraven would do to me. I knew what it would do physically, but hey, hags don't convert to Hagraven until much later in their lives so I figured I'd be ready for that part. But I hadn't really thought about what it would do to me. My personality, who I was, my identity. The thought of it changing me like the Briarheart changed him was unexceptable."

"So you ran." Not a question.

"Yes, I left in the middle of the night. I heard their calls and the horns announcing a defector, but I just kept running. I could hear their footsteps, or maybe that was just me hallucinating from exhaustion. Either way, I ran and ran until I finally lost them and never looked back."

It was quiet for a moment, both of them reflecting on Kaiya's story that still laid thick in the air. She felt better having it off her shoulders.

"How did you guess?" she finally broke the quiet, looking towards him as he sat next to her.

"A few things," he answered honestly. "Your Breton heritage, your proficiency with blades, a bow and magic, your hatred of all things Markarth, that time you almost lost your temper on Brynjolf when he called you a Reachman." Mercer laughed at this memory and the look of shock on Kaiya's face.

"I did that?! Oh gods I need to stop drinking! I don't remember doing that at all!"

Mercer smiled at her with a side glance. "Yeah you did that. Told him it was offensive to ever equate a Breton with those 'savages'."

Her eyebrows went up as if impressed with her own behavior. "Well I can't say I fault myself for that. I'm more impressed than I am embarrassed now."

"Yeah, Brynjolf followed you out of the Flagon like some kid that just got his sweetroll taken for bad behavior."

They laughed together this time, the mood feeling infinitely lighter than it had before.

"But yeah, those things made me suspicious but then seeing your stance in here as you dual wielded confirmed it." A look of mischief took over his features, causing Kaiya to glare at him suspiciously. "I could almost see you in those skimpy furs."

"Mercer Frey!" Kaiya laughed and smacked his arm with false indignation. "You're a scoundrel."

"Never said I wasn't, footpad." He ran his hands through his hair and eyed her again through a side glance. "But seriously, if you still have any of your Forsworn furs I would be glad to teach you dual wielding lessons as you wore them."

She rolled her eyes and hopped off the barrel, walking towards her blades on the floor. "Keep dreamin', Mercer." As she clipped her sword belt back around her waist and sheathed her practice blades, she felt his presence suddenly behind her. She jumped at his closeness in surprise. How did he move so fast?

Before he could speak, she spun around to face him, throwing him a bit off balance. "You won't tell anyone about this, will you?"

A smile crept onto his face, no doubt scheming in his head about where he could go with this.

"Mercer, please." Her serious tone gave him pause as he faced her silently. She reached up and put a hand on his shoulder to accentuate how much she needed his discretion. "I am trusting you with this."

The look on his face immediately changed to pained as he took a step back away from her. The sudden change in his demeanor frightened her a bit. Was he that scared of trust?

"You shouldn't trust me, Kaiya." He looked her square in the eyes as he said this, no joking present anywhere in his tone. The severity of it caused her heart to beat faster. What was going on?

"Too late, Mercer" she smiled, approaching him again and trying to ease his tension. "I trust that you won't say anything to anyone about my past, just like you trust me not to tell anyone about how nice you were to me tonight."

A small, predatory smile slowly took over his features as he stared at her. "You're blackmailing me now?"

"Yep," she bit her lip as she smiled at him, no shame left in her flirtation. "Oh and you have to continue giving me dual wielding lessons. I really need those."

"Only if you wear the furs."

"How about we make a deal, Guildmaster?" She slowly slid her hand on his shoulder down to rest on his chest, leaning her body flush against his. His arms reflexively moved around to hold her hips.

"I'm listening." Good. The licentious tone was back in his voice.

"I'll wear the Forsworn furs for you sometime, but it won't be in the cistern." She let her eyes creep up from her hands on his chest to his parted lips, then to his eyes. She bit the corner of her lip again and smiled with just enough mischief to convince him that she was serious.

He leaned down and put his lips to her ear, breathing deeply as his hands squeezed her hips to communicate what she was doing to him. He let himself take in her scent one last time before responding to her offer, his voice low and rumbling in her ear.

"Deal."


	16. Chapter 16

_27th of Morning Star 4E203_

 _Get a hold of yourself, Mercer._ His mind chided his body as he watched her saunter out of the practice room, shooting a look over her shoulder at him before she was out of sight. That must be her signature move. She did it every time she walked away and it worked every time she did it, twisting his insides into something almost like feeling. How had he let this get out of control?

He paced back and forth in the practice room, her absence allowing him to think clearly again. He consistently told himself he wouldn't talk to her anymore, wouldn't let himself be alone with her in the Flagon, but he consistently broke his own rules every time she was there. First he blamed her smell. That sundrenched smell that so evaded most who called the cistern home. He blamed that scent for making him crazy, making him act in a way that was detrimental to his usual steel self control.

He let himself believe that for a while, but then it started happening when she was well out of range for him to catch her scent. She could just be in the Flagon and that was enough to root him to his barstool, immobile until he had his nightly dose of her when everyone else had gone to sleep. She was like a sickness, infecting his body and mind in a way that removed all control he had over himself. Every night he would renew his resolve, it was done, no more. But then she left for Markarth.

When she was gone, he couldn't stop checking the time. He was an erratic, moody mess, more so than usual. He paced. He grumbled. He even knocked a candle off his desk into the water in frustration. He was shocked that no one could tell there was a difference in his behavior, but perhaps he had really done a decent job of alienating himself away from everyone. Until her.

He found himself in the Flagon again at night, even though she wouldn't be there. He even struck up a conversation with Sapphire, thinking that maybe he just needed feminine companionship to hold him over. That was a bust. She had no desire to be playful, all she had was fear and respect towards him. How boring.

He convinced himself that it was nothing, until he heard news that she had returned from Markarth and was sitting with Delvin in the Flagon. He had to force himself to wait a few minutes before barging over to the bar, not wanting to look obvious. Or desperate. As soon as he saw her, all the self coaching he did while she was away evaporated. That smile. That's what he had missed. That's what he needed.

He let himself fall into her trap once again and even played along much more than usual. He touched her. He let her touch him. Then he did the unthinkable, he held her to him and let her speak into his ear, let her play with frayed nerves. He told himself that he followed her into the practice room because it was time to take back control the best way he knew how - revealing private information and showing his skill with a sword. But dammit all if that didn't blow up in his face.

Now here he stood pacing, his mind a chaotic mix between trying to retain some self control and imagining her in those Forsworn furs. She said she'd wear them for him. Not in the cistern. Part of his mind planned a way to get her into his house. The other, more logical part of his brain planned a way to get her out of his head.

It was this scene that Brynjolf walked in on - the pacing, fuming, confused Guildmaster, walking circles around the training room.

"Uh, Mercer?" Brynjolf asked nervously, trying to ease his boss out of whatever headspace he was in as casually as possible.

"What!?" Mercer snapped, obviously not ready to be disturbed. Couldn't Brynjolf see that he was pacing?

"Maven just sent down one of her messengers. She wants to see you as soon as possible."

At the mention of Maven's name, all color dropped from Mercer's face and all thoughts of Kaiya in the Forsworn furs banished to a dark corner. This didn't sound good.

"What's this about, Bryn?"

"She didn't give specifics," Brynjolf seemed nervous. That did not help the Guildmaster's mood. "But she said it was about Goldenglow."

Oh shit.

* * *

Mercer sluggishly drug himself back into the cistern in the wee hours of the morning after another grueling meeting with the matron of the Blackbriars. It had not gone well. They constructed a plan to infiltrate Goldenglow, to which he was to send Vex - his best infiltrator. Another night with no sleep. Between running the guild and whatever this was with Kaiya, he was going sleepless much more often these days. All he had to do was to leave a message for Vex and then he could find his way to his house for some much needed slumber.

He made his way to the Guildmaster's desk and resumed his familiar pose of looking over the ledger. This Goldenglow job was weighing on him heavily. He had to get the message out before he collapsed from fatigue. He pushed himself off the desk, seeing as no changes needed to be made to the ledger since the last time he stared at it, and made his way to the Flagon. On his way across the cistern, he caught himself stalling as he spotted a sleeping Kaiya in her claimed bed. Lucky. He pushed forward, clamouring into the empty Flagon. No sign of Vex.

With a groan, he realized he knew where to find her. He made his way back to the room where the leaders of the guild slept, Vex out cold under the arm of a snoring Delvin. He felt a small smile tug at the corner of his mouth at the sight. His boy finally got the girl after years of trying. That wouldn't stop him from ruining it all with this message, however.

"Vex. Vex wake up." Mercer shook her shoulder softly at first, but the shake grew more desperate as she fought off the rest of the world and curled into Delvin. "Gods dammit Vex, wake up!" He bellowed, waking not only the sleeping Vex but her partner in the process.

Their eyes grew huge as they realized who was waking them, both scrambling to make sure they were covered by the furs.

"Don't bother being shocked Vex, I've known for months."

The Imperial shot a look back over her shoulder at a shameless Delvin who just shrugged at her innocently. "They were bound to find out sometime, love."

"Whatever," she groaned, irritated. "What do you want, Mercer?"

His eyebrows shot up at her tone. He wasn't used to be spoken to like that. Well, except for Kaiya. And only when they were alone. She seemed to notice the error of her ways and corrected herself.

"I'm sorry, I tend to be a bit cranky when I'm woken up with shouting."

"Oh is that it, lass?" came Brynjolf's voice from a neighboring bed. "Guess someone's been waking you up that way for years."

"Enough! All of you!" Mercer thundered. He was in no mood for banter. The dark rings around his eyes showed the fellow leaders of the guild all they needed to know about his current state. "I have a job for you Vex."

* * *

Morning came and went, followed by the afternoon and the beginning of evening. The cistern was bustling with thieves helping Vex plan for her upcoming job. Kaiya's back ached from hours of standing at the alchemy table as she made invisibility potion after invisibility potion. Rune dripped sweat over the grindstone as he sharpened Vex's daggers to a deadly edge. Delvin seemed nervous, fluttering around and teaching Vex stealth skills like an overbearing mother, much to her annoyance. Everyone was present and active. Everyone except Mercer Frey.

"Where in Oblivion is Mercer?" Sapphire asked, exasperated as she came down the ladder into the cistern from a fact finding mission. "We're all here helping out but he can't get his lazy ass up and help us on the biggest job to hit the guild in years?"

Kaiya stayed quiet. She had a feeling she knew where the Guildmaster was. If her math was correct, their rendezvous in the training room would have backed immediately up into this meeting with Maven, so he most likely didn't sleep at all. Delvin overheard Sapphire's question and out of earshot, threw a barb Kaiya's way. "Must have had a late night, eh love?"

Kaiya felt blood rush to her cheeks at his meaning, her eyes growing wide in panic that someone would overhear.

"Don't worry your little Breton heart," Delvin joked, calming her down. "If anyone knows how to keep a secret, it's Ol' Delvin."

She shot him a thankful smile before returning her attention back to the alchemy table to make yet another potion.

"Make 'em good, love. I don't need my woman in danger in there."

The tone he used was playful, but Kaiya could sense his nervousness. They were all nervous. Vex was being tasked with single handedly infiltrating a meadery swarming with Riften guards. It was a lot to ask even of the best infiltrator the guild had.

As nightfall stretched across the Rift, Mercer finally appeared in the cistern, barking orders at those unlucky enough to get in his way. Kaiya winced at his tone. He was beyond stressed. Everyone else seemed to see it as well, no more words being whispered about his laziness or his lack of caring. He was just as worried as the rest of them.

She could just imagine how Delvin and Mercer would be while Vex was on the job. She had a momentary vision of them sitting around the Flagon, knitting like two Stormcloak wives, guessing where their betrothed was fighting at any given moment. The thought made her snicker to herself, but if she kept on that line of thinking, she was bound to get sad.

Finally, the time came for them to see Vex off. They all wished her well. She told them to save her a mead. They pretended not to see when her gaze lingered on Delvin's for an extra few seconds before pushing herself out of the hidden entrance in the graveyard and disappearing into the night.

As the rest of the guild seemed to disperse after she left, finding ways to make themselves busy so they wouldn't worry, Mercer stormed over to the corner of the Flagon where Kaiya sat, drinking a bottle of mead alone.

"Are we training tonight or not, footpad?" His words were harsh, his expression matching in severity. She felt herself wince at his words and a dread fell on her as she realized what he was asking.

"Now?" she asked, surprised. "I figured you'd want to take a night off considering this big job and all."

"Did I stutter?" his gaze was fierce as it locked onto hers. The green seemed much more black now than usual. "I said now."

He turned and walked off, expecting her to follow. She took her time getting up and retrieving her practice blades, hoping he would calm down a bit if he spent a few minutes alone whacking away at the practice dummies. For the sake of preparedness, she brought her beloved dragonbone blades with her as well. Tonight seemed like a night he would want to take the gloves off, and she didn't want to be caught with some dull practice blades as her only arsenal.

Cautiously, she walked into the training room, not knowing what she was about to walk in on. Either he was still raging mad to the point where there was a risk he'd actually throw daggers at her, or he'd be a little more calm and want to berate her for hours on her stance. What she did not expect to see however, was the Guildmaster sitting on one of the barrels in the back corner of the room, his head in his hands.

"Mercer?" she asked carefully, not wanting to awaken the dragon if she could help it. At the sound of his name, Mercer's head popped up but he did not move from his position on the barrels.

"I'm OK, footpad." he reassured her, his voice soft and tired, his head dropping back into his hands.

"You sure, Mercer?" she approached him slowly. "I was expecting to have daggers thrown at my head when I walked in."

He laughed once, humorlessly. "No, explaining a death in the guild is the last thing I need right now."

"Oh well in that case," she joked, trying to lighten the mood, "I guess I have nothing to worry about. My guildmaster doesn't want to explain my death, everyone! He really cares!"

He let out another solitary chuckle as she hopped up onto the barrel next to him and resumed the same position they had found themselves in only a night ago.

"I want to murder that woman, Kaiya." He said it with no humor, no teasing, no sarcasm. Kaiya sat quietly for a moment, trying to figure out what she should say next. She settled on silence. This was the first time he had even come close to openly discussing his hatred for Maven in front of her so she didn't want to screw it up. It was unlikely to happen again.

"No matter what I do, it's never enough." He ran both hands through his hair and exhaled deeply before leaning back and looking at the ceiling. "You would think I'd learn by now that I'm nothing more than a means to an end for her fortune, but yet she still surprises me with how much of a…"

"Bitch?" Kaiya offered, innocently.

Mercer exhaled a laugh. "Yes, a bitch. With how much of a raging bitch she can be." He let his head roll to the side so he could make eye contact with Kaiya, her face void of any emotion, indicating that he had her full attention. "I hope I'm not that bad. Would you tell me if I was?"

Kaiya didn't know what to say. He was confiding in her. He was trusting her. He was hoping she'd hold him accountable. He needed her. She tried not to let her emotions show on her face and ruin this fragile moment, so she did what she knew how to do, make a joke about it.

"Now Mercer you know good and damn well that I jump at any opportunity to tell you what an ass you are." She let a soft smile take over her features, leaning into the Guildmaster to bump her shoulder against his. "But look at it this way, she hires people who have no options left. You have a guild of people with plenty of other options, but they choose to stay here. With you."

He let her words sink in, infiltrating his hard facade and slowly wrapping around his heart. He reached over and grabbed her hand, a small smile present on his lips. "You're such a brown noser, you know that?"

She laughed as she hopped off the barrel, releasing her hand from his. "Well are we going to train tonight or what?" He just sat there staring at her in surprise at her eagerness.

"Oh please don't tell me it was all just a ruse so you could get me alone to talk about your feelings, Mercer. I mean if you want to keep talking, that's fine I guess…"

"What? No!" He jumped off the barrel and approached her with a grin. "You want to train, let's train!"

As she suspected, it was sparring he wanted. She was suspicious that he only wanted to spar so he could get her pinned on the floor underneath him, but she wasn't one to complain. After a few rounds they stood exhausted and sweaty, breathing heavily. The score was tied.

"All right, no more games," Mercer declared, throwing down his practice weapons and unsheathing the Dwarven blade and steel dagger that always adorned his belt. "Time to make it real."

It's almost like she knew this was going to happen. She grinned as sweat poured down her flushed face, taking his challenge. She threw her own practice blades to the floor and unsheathed her prized possessions - a dragonbone dagger in her left hand and a dragonbone sword in her right.

"What in Oblivion are those monstrosities?" Mercer teased, pointing his Dwarven sword in the direction of her dragonbone weapons.

"They're the most precious things I own, jackass!" she retorted, not ashamed in the least. "This here is Little Friend" she held up her dagger to introduce it to Mercer, "and this here sword is Boyfriend."

A laugh erupted out of Mercer's chest, filling the room. Kaiya loved his laugh. Rarely did he let it out but when he did, she felt it reverberate through every cell in her body and settle somewhere in her pumping heart.

"You named your sword Boyfriend?" he managed to squeak out in between laughing fits. "Is that so you could tell people you were 'going out with your Boyfriend' and not be lying about it?"

"Maybe!" she challenged with her own grin on her face. "Maybe that's exactly why I did it!"

His laughter only grew at this, forcing him to hold up a hand and shake his head in disbelief. Tears clouded his vision and his stomach ached with the effort.

"It's also because I think it's a brilliant jab at the Nords who take naming their weapons way too seriously," she admitted honestly. "I mean Grimsever, seriously Mjoll?" She was laughing now too. "Didn't sever the grim to get her out of that Dwarven ruin, that's for sure."

They both laughed until they couldn't breath before Mercer found his voice again. "But seriously Kaiya, what the hell are those things? They're ugly as Oblivion. What are they made of? Dragonbone?" He laughed at the absurdity of anyone carrying a weapon made from the bones of dragons, but Kaiya's face was surprised.

"Yes."

Mercer's laughter came to a halt at her answer. "Wait, really? Dragonbone?"

"Yes Mercer, these are dragonbone weapons. Seriously." She seemed confused at why he was so surprised.

"How did you get those? Did you rob the Dragonborn or something?"

Kaiya's face showed her shock at his question. _He didn't know_. Her open mouth morphed into a wicked smile. She finally had information she could hold over him that he didn't already know.

"Do you really not know, Mercer?"

"Not know what?" He looked suspicious. Suspicious and nervous.

"I'm the Dragonborn, you ass!" It was her turn to erupt in laughter now at the absurdity that he would not know that. His mouth gaped open in shock but his eyebrows showed anger.

"And you didn't think that was information I should know, Kaiya?" he boomed, trying to take control of the situation back. She continued to laugh.

"No, no, no!" she squeaked, shaking her head. "You aren't allowed to play the 'you should've told me' card on this one, Mercer. Everyone in Skyrim knows I'm the godsdamned Dragonborn! How about leave the cistern every now and then and take a walk outside, man!"

Her laughter didn't show signs of stopping. Mercer was unamused. "How in Oblivion am I supposed to know that?"

"I don't know, Mercer! Are you telling me that you knew I was Forsworn but had no idea I was Dragonborn? Oh this is too rich!"

"Does everyone else in the guild know?" His voice was quiet now, embarrassed.

"Probably," Kaiya responded, wiping the tears from her eyes. "Seriously Mercer, who is your informant? You need to fire that guy if he didn't tell you the day I joined that I was Dragonborn."

Mercer stayed quiet. He was no longer amused by this game.

"Aw, don't be sad" she mocked, walking over to him and placing a hand on his shoulder just to have him brush it off. "Yes, I'm the Dragonborn. If you want, we can take a walk up there in the real world sometime and you'll see how obvious it is. Everyone greets me by that title. Everyone." She looked down at her feet as she continued. "I'm actually somewhat disappointed that you didn't know. I really thought you were the first person who didn't just call me by my title. That you knew I was more than that."

"Oh, woe to you, the struggles of Skyrim's hero." Mercer jabbed with no emotion in his voice. His arms were crossed over his chest and his face searching hers for signs of weakness he could exploit.

She knew he was trying to anger her to get back at her for having momentarily felt embarrassed over something. She didn't let it get to her.

"Right," she backed up, swinging her blades around to show she was ready to spar again. "Maybe sometime I'll tell you all about how glorious of a fucking job that's been, ass."

The hard edge of her taunt did not go unnoticed. He would be lying if he said he wasn't intrigued to know what she meant by that. But for now, it was time for him to defeat the infamous Dragonborn right here in the training room. He grabbed his swords and started charging towards her. Their swords met in the center of the training room, clashing loudly in the quiet night.

"Those things look heavy," Mercer taunted as they parried each other's blows.

"Did you just call my Boyfriend fat?" she teased in mock offense.

It went on like that for several minutes, neither getting ground on the other. Kaiya decided it was time to play dirty.

"You know," she breathed between parries, "now that you know I'm Dragonborn, that means I can use all my Dragonborn tricks."

"What?" he retorted, taking a step back to let her strike miss, "sing a ballad to yourself? 'Our hero, our hero claims a warrior's heart!'" He started to sing one of the bard's favorites to her as they sparred.

"No, ass!" she argued, spinning to jab at his left flank as he dodged with ease. "I mean like this."

FUS!

With one word from her Shout, he stumbled backwards several feet, providing her the opportunity she needed to make her move. She ran at him and tackled him to the floor, his arms pinned under her legs, just as he had pinned her the night before.

"Say it!" she yelled, so close to victory.

"You cheated!" he retorted with a glare, "I'll do no such thing!"

"Say it or I'll do it!" weapons no longer in her hands, she threatened him with two fingers, hovering dangerously over where his nipple would be under his leathers.

"You're threatening my nippl-OW!" he shrieked, as her fingers pinched the sensitive skin and twisted. "Okay, okay!" he relented, "I'll say it!"

"Then just say it and stop announcing it!"

"I'm only going to whisper it though so you have to lean closer." Feeling a trap, she hesitated but remembered that his arms were trapped beneath her. There was nothing he could do. She leaned forward and put her ear by his mouth to hear him whisper.

"Ew! Oh gods Mercer! What in the Oblivion!?" she shrieked as he cackled, after sticking his tongue directly into her ear. With her momentarily distracted, he bucked her off of him with his hips and took his place on top of her, pinning her down.

"Say it!" he declared.

"No way! We'll have to stay this way all night. I'm never giving you that!"

"Kaiya, don't tempt me," he said with false seriousness. "I am perfectly content with straddling you like this for hours."

"You lecherous man!" she cried, throwing his teasing back at him. "Fine. Just because I'm hungry though."

"Then just say it and stop announcing it!" he mocked her previous words back to her.

She took a deep breath and he seemed to catch onto what she was doing. "No! No!"

FUS!

He flew back from on top of her and she scrambled to her feet, preparing to run for it. Before she could get out of the room, she shrieked as she felt a hand grab her wrist and pull her back, pinning her against the wall.

Mercer breathed heavily from the exertion, but used his bulk to keep her pinned under him, his frame fully against her. He held both of her wrists against the wall on either side of her head and they both stood there, breathing heavily and grinning like fools at one another.

He leaned down to put his mouth next to her ear and she squirmed, "Not again! Not again!"

"No," he laughed, his voice taking on a husky edge. "That is only a trick I pull when I have no other options. But now…"

He let his words fade into the night as he pressed himself against her, neither knowing what to do next. She felt her heart thumping against her ribcage and knew her palms had to be sweaty. His smell hijacked her thoughts, leather, rain and stone. He was so much larger than life, his presence holding her fixed to the wall more than just the effort of his body. He was consuming her. As their breath slowed, he leaned his forehead against the wall next to her head so he could speak into her ear.

"How do you always do this?" he asked with sincerity.

"Do what?"

"Make me forget about everything I should be worried about."

A gasp caught in her throat in surprise. _What was he saying_?

"That's one of my powers."

"Is this another Dragonborn thing?" he laughed, his voice raw.

"No, just a Kaiya thing," she joked innocently.

"Mm," he hummed, moving his nose into the space behind her ear. "I like it."

Suddenly, they both heard someone in the cistern yelling for Mercer. Their moment was over. Mercer let his forehead fall against the stone wall next to Kaiya's head as he let out an annoyed sigh, releasing her wrists. He pushed himself off the wall and made his way into the training room to grab his sword and dagger that were strewn about the room. Kaiya stood where she was, motionless and in a daze. He had needed her tonight. That's what happened. He was stressed and in pain and instead of sulking alone he had reached out for her. Sure, it was a bit unorthodox, but it had happened all the same. _What was happening?_ The absence of his presence looming over her felt like it ripped a void into her being, one that could only be filled by Mercer. This was getting dangerous.

As he stormed towards the cistern from the practice room he paused at Kaiya's motionless body against the wall. Shooting her a smirk (or himself a smirk as he eyed the results of his effort) he nudged her with an elbow. "Come on, grab your Boyfriend, we're needed."

As she watched him walk away, she swore she saw him adjust his pants to hide the obvious bulge he must be sporting. _That a girl, Kai_.


	17. Chapter 17

_27th of Morning Star 4E203_

She felt the dread in the cistern before she ever saw what was happening. There in the center of the chaos laid a wounded Vex, the other guild members flurrying around her to help. Upon seeing Kaiya, Tonilia shouted for her to join them.

"Kaiya! You know restoration magic, right!?" she cried, panic obvious in her voice.

Kaiya ran towards the wounded thief, preparing her healing spell in her hand. Once she reached Vex on the ground she cast her Grand Healing spell, the most advanced restoration magic she could muster. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw a smile form on Vex's face.

"What took you so long, Kaiya?" she strained to ask. Her cracked and bloody lips smiled up at her healer, the pain finally subsiding. "All these fools with their bandages and I'm laying here like 'uh someone find the mage?'"

Kaiya smiled at the Imperial, still painfully herself even amongst what looked like pretty serious injuries. She summoned another healing spell into both palms as she laid her hands on Vex, moving them over her body to feel for other injuries. While she felt no broken bones, the leather was soaked with blood, the clear sign of some serious puncture wounds. The spells seemed to close them up, but Vex would be bruised and sore for days after this.

A tug of guilt pulled at Kaiya's heart as she thought about what she was doing while Vex was being repeatedly stabbed and shot at. She was having a flirtatious sparring session with her boss while Vex was out there alone, no doubt running for her life. A smaller, quieter part of her brain reminded her that her Guildmaster had needed her, but Kaiya wasn't one to easily forgive herself.

Speaking of the Guildmaster, she realized he was nowhere in sight. He had walked out right before her though, so it's not like he was hiding. Was he? As her eyes scanned the room she finally found him, right where she felt the disturbance in the air around her. He was speaking with someone in hushed tones and it didn't look good. She could only see Mercer's back, but she knew how he looked when he was stressed. Shoulders hunched over, hand repeatedly running through his hair, hands on hips. She couldn't get a good look at who he was speaking to though.

She returned her attention back to Vex who was currently berating Vipir for being clumsy. Good ol' Vex. Delvin knelt by her head, worrying over her like a mother. As he does. Kaiya could feel Vex becoming overwhelmed at everyone who fussed over her, so she did the best thing she could think to do for her friend: yelled at everyone to leave.

"Alright guys," she stood, taking control. "I know you're all worried about our Vex here but she's doing OK and needs some space. Delvin, can you carry her to her bed?" He nodded in response. "Good. Now everyone give her some space OK? We'll call for you if we need you. She just needs to rest now."

As Delvin lifted her up to carry her to her bed, Vex mouthed a 'thank you' over to Kaiya for her efforts. Well at least her strengths were able to help Vex twice today. Everyone waved longingly to the thief as she was carried away as if she were going on some long voyage. Once she was out of the cistern, Kaiya found herself maneuvering around to see who it was Mercer was arguing with.

When she caught sight of her, Kaiya felt her heart thumping in her throat. Maven. In the cistern. This couldn't be good. Mercer looked exasperated and furious. There was no way Kaiya was stepping into that shock rune. Well, until Maven caught her staring and called her over.

She approached the conversation with no small amount of fear, but she tried not to show it in her actions. Maven struck her as a woman who preyed off fear. She shot a look at Mercer, trying to read from his expression what was going on. All she got was anger coming off of him in waves as he stared daggers into the matron.

"You don't need to be a part of this conversation Kaiya." His tone was harsh but she knew it wasn't at her. He was trying to take control over whatever game Maven was playing with him.

"Oh I believe she does, Guildmaster." Maven replied, throwing disdain and mockery into his title as if he was only allowed to call himself that because she allowed it. "I think she needs to know what she'll be getting herself into."

Kaiya gulped at her statement, not having a clue what she was talking about. She waved awkwardly at the two as they argued, "uh, hello? I'm right here. What am I getting myself into, exactly?"

Mercer's expression crushed her as his gaze fell on her. It was one of defeat and sadness. He had lost whatever argument they were having. Maven looked smug, but she always looked smug. That might just be her face, it was hard for Kaiya to tell.

"Kaiya, you'll be taking up this mission where your colleague Vex failed." she stated coldly, making it obvious with her tone that she found Vex's wounds merely an annoyance to her mission.

Kaiya knew how to handle people like this. She was a Breton after all. Show no weakness. Act like it's not a big deal. If she sees signs of nervousness, she'll take that as a challenge to break her. No, act as if this is just another job because in all honesty, for the Dragonborn, it was.

"Sounds fine with me," she stated casually, shrugging her shoulders. She would make this as easy on Mercer as possible. "When do you want me to go?"

The question was posed to Mercer, but Maven answered. Her brow shot up in surprise at Kaiya's response at she glared at the Guildmaster, taking her lack of fight as a win. "Not for another week, I'm afraid. They'll no doubt heighten security after Vex's little… mishap… so we will have to wait until the buzz dies down. Do not leave until I say so but be prepared to depart at a moment's notice. Do I make myself clear?"

Kaiya felt her fists clench and her anger boil under the surface at the attitude of this woman. She understood clearly now why Mercer hated her so much. She was vile.

"Very clear. Understood." She felt the need to salute, but that didn't make any sense. Maven would just see it as a mockery of her station. That made her want to do it even more, but she willed herself to stand still. She wouldn't want to bring more trouble on her Guildmaster who was already worn so thin.

"Very good. Mercer can fill you in on the rest of the details. I'm sure he wouldn't mind the company, would you Mercer?" her voice was venomous in the way she shot her question straight at him. A lesser man would have flinched, but Mercer was not a lesser man. He stood in silence and stared at her, hatred consuming his expression. Maven shot them both one last smug 'don't forget I own you' expression as she walked out of the cistern, leaving Mercer and Kaiya alone to discuss their hatred of all things Maven.

Kaiya, while angry, was left with an overwhelming feeling of confusion. What had Maven meant by Mercer not minding the company? It seemed like all of this was connected somehow - choosing Kaiya for the job and her jabs at Mercer's leadership. If she didn't know better, she would think that Maven had some knowledge about her relationship with the Guildmaster. The epiphany hit her like a blow from a hammer and she gasped audibly as the pieces fit together.

"So you figured it out, did you?" Mercer asked as they both stood facing forward, staring at the doorway Maven had exited moments before.

"She thinks we're a thing and so she's trying to wreck it or wreck you I can't tell and so she's…" Kaiya's rant was cut short by Mercer's hand planting itself over her mouth.

"Shh, Kaiya!" he chided her. "Not here! Follow me."

She followed him out of the cistern. For a moment, butterflies danced in her stomach when she thought he might be taking her to his house, but then they exited the city gates and walked towards the lake. She had no idea where he was leading her but she trusted him, foolish as that might be. On the edge of the lake, he walked up a set of stairs onto a patio area that was attached to a house. Maybe he was taking her to his house after all, she thought, realizing she had no idea where he lived.

"Is this your house?" she asked as they sat at a table set up on the patio, the sounds of water hitting the shore and the sound of dartwings flying around them.

He leaned back into his chair and smirked at her over the table. "It is tonight."

"So that's a no," she laughed, looking around for signs of eavesdroppers. She dropped her voice down to a whisper, "who lives here, Mercer?"

"No one right now," he said as he stood, motioning for her to stay seated. "It's awaiting the new thane if my new recruit here would get off her ass and stop a skooma operation already." He shot a smile at her to stifle her groan. "Would you like a mead?"

"Am I breathin'?" she responded with a scoff, the most obvious answer to the most obvious of questions.

He spent no more than three seconds picking the lock to the house which impressed Kaiya greatly. Well, she thought to herself, he's not the Guildmaster for nothing. In a few moments, he returned to her on the porch with a bucket of mead and a wooden plate of cheese. Kaiya laughed at the sight as Mercer sat across from her. "Cheese?" he asked with a fake high class Imperial accent as he offered her the plate as if it were a delicacy. She grinned as she took a slice and looked at him with a quizzical gaze, wondering where this all came from.

"You said you were hungry earlier," he explained. "And I knew this house would have some food. And quiet."

"Ah," she replied in understanding. "How Guildmaster of you."

While he was acting like himself, well, the himself he was around Kaiya, she could still see the sharp edges of anger and worry that lined his eyes and mouth. He was trying to make light of it, she realized. That scared her more than his anger ever could.

"What is all this about, Mercer?" Straight to the point as usual. Good ol' Kaiya.

Mercer sighed as he opened his bottle of mead. He took a slow slip before lounging back into his chair and tossing the cork from the mead bottle into the lake. "She's trying to fuck with me, Kaiya."

"By fucking with me?" she asked, although she wasn't as surprised as she sounded.

"Yeah," he growled. "She wouldn't admit it, but that's what she's doing. I've known her a long time. Her methods may vary, but her motives are always the same. Jealousy and greed. In this case, it's both. Lucky her! Two birds, one bitch-sized stone."

"Wait, am I the bitch-sized stone?"

A corner of Mercer's mouth curled up in the early stages of a smile, but his eyes stayed on the water. "No, Kaiya. You're the dwarf-sized Dragonborn."

"Actually Mercer," she now spoke in Mercer's fake high class Imperial accent, "contrary to legend, the Dwemer were most likely the same size as their fellow mer." His eyebrows shot up in surprise at her knowledge. She laughed before nudging him with her foot under the table. "I mean think about it Mercer, could a tiny dwarf wield that huge sword you carry?"

She didn't mean it as a double entendre, but she'd take the look on his face as if she meant it. She curled her lips into a leering grin as she moved her bottle of mead to her mouth. _Oh he was so much fun to play with._ His smile slowly faltered as he looked back towards the water, throwing Kaiya's discarded cork into the water as he did the first.

"Kaiya, this is the exact behavior that got us into this mess."

She felt her heart squeeze at his words. Was he saying what she thought he was saying? He couldn't do this - end it before it ever began!

"What mess, Mercer?" she tried to maintain her nonchalance. "Remember, I'm the godsdamned Dragonborn. I went to fucking Sovngarde and killed an immortal deity that was eating souls. I think I can handle a few Riften guards at a meadery."

He looked at her with surprise once again. She always seemed to do that to him, find a way to surprise the man that thought there were no more surprises left. "Wait, that really happened?" he asked, curiosity getting the better of him. "I thought that was just a legend. You really did that?"

"The only thing about that story that's legend is that it will be remembered as being done by a giant Nord man. Otherwise, it's all true. Rode on the back of a dragon that's still my friend now, jumped through a portal, saw some old friends, met Ysgrammor and Hakon One-Eye. Then fought that giant asshole until he blew up."

Mercer snickered at her story. "A word of advice, footpad. Next time you tell your warrior's tale you should work on your word choice. No one wants to hear your story of how you fought a giant asshole until it blew up."

A laugh burst out of Kaiya's chest, not being able to hold it back. Her laughter echoed through the quiet night, threatening to wake all of Riften if she didn't tone it down. He playfully threw a piece of cheese at her while shushing her to get her to shut up.

"I'm sorry," she loudly whispered, "I just didn't realize I had even said that."

Mercer felt his heart tug at the innocence she displayed, even after all she had been through. No matter what was going on around him, he could always count on her to make him laugh and forget the severity of it all. It just didn't seem like a big deal when he was with her. He was becoming addicted to that power she held over him and he was also beginning not to care enough to be worried about that anymore. This situation, for instance. She was right. Here he was, worrying over her like… well, like Delvin… all the while she tells stories of traveling to Sovngarde to fight an immortal dragon god. He couldn't disagree, a meadery full of Riften guards seemed like child's play when compared to that.

Kaiya must have noticed he was deep in thought, no doubt guessing exactly what he was thinking about. "Does she know I'm Dragonborn, Mercer?"

The question caught Mercer off guard, his mind knitting together what she could be thinking. "I thought you said everyone knew."

"Well YOU didn't know," she taunted, "so maybe I was wrong about everyone knowing. If she knew I was Dragonborn, she wouldn't be so cocky about sending me off on this mission that she thinks will kill me."

When she said it out loud like that, it made his stomach tighten. She was right again, Maven was sending her off on this in hopes that it would kill her. A "hmm" was his only reply to her query, his mind wandering off once again.

"Wait a second," she shot straight up in her seat, mead sloshing out of the bottle in her hand. "You said she was jealous! Why is she jealous, Mercer? Does she have a thing for you or something?"

Mercer's eyes widened at her question. He had been so careless with his rants and she was so observant, of course she'd pick up on that slip up. Well, it was too late to come up with some lame excuse now, better tell her the truth and hope she won't ask more questions.

"It's not that she has a thing for me as much as she sees me as her property." He answered, surprised by his own candor. Kaiya just sat there in silence, thinking over what Mercer had said.

"What a vile bitch." was her response. She pulled her legs up into the chair she sat in and wrapped her arms around them, resting her chin on her knees. The sight of her saying something so crass while sitting so innocently caused a smirk to take over the Guildmaster's face.

"You have no idea" he responded, uncorking another bottle of mead and chucking the cork into the water.

"You know how we get her back?" Kaiya's smile showed wicked promise.

"I'm listening."

"We live, Mercer." Her eyes seemed to glisten as she spoke, full of life. "Fuck what she wants. She wants me dead so she can have her property to herself or whatever sick reasoning she has? She'll have to try herself. She doesn't scare me and neither do her 'suicide missions'. Let's not let her affect us, OK?"

He scoffed at her naivety. "I wish it were that easy, Kaiya."

"Well I know I don't know all the details, but I know enough right now to say that my idea is brilliant at least in this situation!" She threw her hands up in the air as if celebrating herself.

"You just don't want me to stop paying attention to you." He leveled his gaze at her as his head hung lazily to the side, eyeing her with mischief.

"Ya damn right I don't!" she laughed, but then her voice turned more somber with what she wanted to say next. "In all honesty Mercer, will you promise me something?"

"I don't know if I can do that, footpad." His eyes looked sad.

"OK, fair enough. Well anyway, what I was going to say is I really don't want you to make decisions on my behalf for something you think is good for me, alright?"

His brows snapped together in confusion. "Uh, I usually don't make a habit of playing caretaker for others, Kaiya."

"I know, but hear me out." She let her feet drop off of the chair and she turned to face him with her full attention. "I've spent most of my life having people make decisions for me and it hasn't gotten any easier. Now instead of mortals deciding my fate I have daedric princes and fuckin' Akatosh deciding what my destiny is and I'd rather be able to make my own decisions where I can."

"Shit, that was more than I expected." His eyebrows showed concern that wasn't present in his voice.

"I know it's a lot, but think about it. If I tell you that I want to do a job or I want to be friends, let me make that decision for myself. Don't do that thing people do where they back out of a relationship or a friendship or make decisions for someone else without asking because they think they're doing what's best for them. At best, that's just a coward's way out. At worst, it's controlling and creepy behavior."

"Alright," he smiled as he nodded. "Give the lady control of her decisions. Heard loud and clear."

"Thank you, Mercer." The smile on her face was much too sentimental for Mercer to handle at the moment. Her last request had hit him a little harder than he expected.

"Make no mistake though, Kaiya," his voice dropped into a more serious tone. "I'm your Guildmaster, so my word goes and I'll do what I think is best for the guild, even if it upsets you."

She swallowed hard at his words, "understood."

"Good." His demeanor relaxed at her acknowledgement of his leadership. "So let me make sure I'm getting this right," he looked at her quizzically, using his hands to demonstrate while he spoke. "You want to do this Goldenglow job?"

She nodded, "ya damn right." A smile crept up on her face despite the heaviness that was present in their conversation. "Now are you going to give me the details or should I go talk to Vex?"

Mercer leaned across the table on his elbows, his bottle of mead still in his hand and a look of mischief on his face. "If you're going to do this, you're going to do it right. Now let me tell you what I know and then let's get back to the cistern so we can see if Vex has any more information."

* * *

A few hours and a several bottles of mead later, the Guildmaster and Kaiya sat at the edge of the bed next to Vex's, asking her what she could tell them about the Goldenglow job.

"You're up next, Kaiya?" she asked, surprised that they would send one of the newer guild members on a job she almost got killed on. "Are you sure you're OK with this?"

Kaiya shot a guarded look at Mercer, wondering how much of their previous conversation she was allowed to divulge to a fellow guild member. Mercer took it as his prompt to answer the question himself.

"She doesn't have much of a choice, Vex." His words were cold, surprising Kaiya with his controlling tone. "Maven asked for her by name."

"Sheesh," Vex exclaimed, "you get yourself in one bad situation and all of a sudden you're facing a coup."

"It's not like that Vex," Kaiya jumped in to explain. "Maven wants it done soon and next to you, I'm the second best infiltrator this skeever hole of a guild's got." She beamed at the Imperial as she used her own words to try to dissuade her fear.

Mercer eyed her with what seemed like annoyance. "What I believe Kaiya is trying to say is that you mucked the job up Vex," his attention trained on the Imperial. "You didn't get it done, so our hands were forced."

A look of shock spread across Kaiya's face at his harshness, but Vex just nodded and accepted the tongue lashing. "I understand, Mercer."

At that, Vex meekly told Kaiya and the icy cold Guildmaster everything she had learned during her botched break in attempt. There were no Riften guards. They had been replaced with mercenaries. Great. But there was a secret entrance that could lead through the sewers directly into the property. That was a plus. Kaiya's head swam with all the information that had been thrown at her that night, both from Mercer and now from Vex, and started to feel nervous about this job for the first time. She may be the Dragonborn, but this wasn't exactly slaying a dragon.

She also couldn't get Mercer's harsh words towards Vex out of her head. What was that about? He had been just as concerned as she was, but then get him in front of her and he acts like he was disappointed in her, not concerned. She'd have to give him a piece of her mind about that once they got out of this dingy room.

"Alright, thanks Vex." Kaiya stood to leave, stretching her stiff muscles from sitting still for so long. "Get some rest. You'll be as good as new in no time." She beamed at her friend, hoping to bring her spirits up a bit after Mercer basically stomped on them. Vex gave her a weak smile in response, reaching out and grabbing Kaiya's hand as a silent thank you. Mercer stood abruptly, making some comment about getting rest before he bounded out of the room ahead of Kaiya.

"What in the Oblivion was that?" Kaiya screeched at Mercer once they were out of Vex's sleeping quarters and back into the quiet of the cistern. She grabbed his arm and swung him around to face her, her arms gesturing to the room they just came from with a look of shock on her face.

"Watch it." Mercer's response was acidic, his eyes narrowed on her so severely that she could barely see the green in them. He towered over her, threatening her with his posture. For the first time, Kaiya felt fear in his presence but did not back down.

"No, you told me to tell you if you acted like Maven, so I'm telling you that you just acted like Maven." She stood her ground, her arms now crossed over her chest in defiance.

If she thought he was angry before, she had been sorely mistaken. Rage took over every feature in his face; Kaiya could almost feel the heat coming off of him. "NO. I WAS NOT." He thundered in her face, close enough where his breath made her hair blow back.

Mercer looked around and saw they had begun to attract an audience. He grabbed Kaiya's arm in a vice grip before dragging her behind him into the seclusion of the training room. When he saw that Niruin was in the room practicing with his bow, Mercer erupted. "OUT!" Niruin jumped in surprise before grabbing his supplies and scurrying out of the room, not wanting to be around for whatever punishment the Guildmaster was about to dole out to the poor Breton.

Kaiya was terrified, but she knew better than to let it show. She jumped back into their fight first before Mercer could get a word out. "If what you were just doing wasn't Maven's classic cold and callous bullshit, please explain to me what it was!"

"I WAS CHALLENGING HER!" He boomed back at Kaiya, just as close to her face as he was before, even with the extra room provided by their seclusion. He stopped himself from going further before laughing sardonically and taking a step back, running a hand through his hair. "You know what? Why am I explaining myself to you?" His eyes leveled right at her stare. "I owe you nothing."

His words cut her worse than his Dwarven blade ever could. She took a step back at the blow, reeling from the impact of his statement. She looked down, trying not to let the hot tears she felt rising to the surface show. She would not let herself cry in front of him.

"You know what?" she responded, letting her gaze meet his and giving up on not letting him see the tears. He put them there. Let him see the results of his efforts. "You're right. You owe me nothing." She let out a humorless laugh, "I don't know what I was thinking, assuming you meant it when you asked if I would tell you if you were becoming like her. That would insinuate you gave a flying fuck about what I thought."

His temper dampened at the sight of her tears, but not enough to qualify as anything but rage. "Don't do that." He was speaking to her in his Guildmaster voice now, deep and commanding. "Don't throw this back on me like somehow it's about you. It's not. I was challenging a member of my guild. A member who I've known for years that respects me and my leadership. A member that is as good as she is because of the way I've challenged her. This is in no way about you, so stop trying to claim yourself as a victim." He pointed a finger directly into her chest. "It's beneath you."

She felt a gasp leave her lips at his statement. He was right. His behavior was atrocious, but he was right. She had no idea what she was talking about. She knew nothing of his relationship with the other members of his guild. She knew nothing of what it took to challenge the huge, brash personalities that made up the membership. She had tried to make this about them when it wasn't. It wasn't about her.

She let her head drop at his words, the fight leaving her body and voice. "You're right."

"Come again?" his mood seemed to have lightened slightly, but he was incredibly cautious to count his victory too soon.

She lifted her head to meet his eyes, hers silver with tears not yet running over. "I said you're right. I was making this about me. It's not about me."

He stayed quiet for a moment, crossing his arms and eyeing her suspiciously. "Is this a trick?"

An exasperated laugh broke out of Kaiya's chest at his paranoia. "No ass!" she laughed again, wiping her eyes. "I'm not a child! Or a Nord!" His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, causing her to look around as if thinking do I really have to explain this? "I'm not too proud to admit when I've fucked up, Mercer. Your behavior wasn't so great and your anger is downright terrifying, but I can at least admit that I didn't have the right to challenge you like that."

With a look of cautious suspicion still on his face, he decided to give her the benefit of the doubt and take the peace offering she was handing him. "Well, good."

There was an awkward pause. "Well, good, and…" Kaiya responded in a question, moving her finger in a circle to encourage him to continue.

"Well, good and apology accepted?" he asked, not sure what she wanted.

She chuckled at his cluelessness, shoving his shoulder playfully. "How about 'I'm sorry I scared you' or 'yeah I was kind of a dick' or even 'you look hot when you're mad'? Anything?"

Mercer's lips curled with mischief at her neediness. "Are you begging me now?" his voice rolled out of his chest in his signature deep timbre. "I have to say, I like it when you beg me."

Kaiya shook her head at how he managed to pervert their conversation. "You ass," she joked as she turned to leave, "you're hopeless."

And with that, they left the training room together, surprising everyone in the cistern that they were both still alive after the scene they had made moments before.


	18. Chapter 18

_10th of Sun's Dawn 4E203_

"You're leaving in the morning then?" Mercer asked out of breath, weaving between Kaiya's practice dagger and sword.

"You really want to discuss strategy now?" Kaiya panted in response, spinning and thrusting her sword towards Mercer's lithe form.

Mercer grinned at his apprentice as he neared another victory. He could always tell she was as good as finished when she would try to put off a conversation while they sparred. "It's as good a time as any, isn't it?"

Kaiya's flushed face dripped with sweat, her footwork becoming sloppy as her fatigue set in. "Don't think I don't know what you're doing, Frey."

"Frey, is it?" he laughed, narrowly dodging another desperate strike from her dagger. "We've moved onto surnames now, have we?"

"You're doing that thing."

"Eloquent." He sidestepped another awkward lunge. "Stay off your front foot, Kaiya. You're thrusts are getting desperate."

They fell back into the quiet rhythm of their clashing swords, a rehearsed dance.

"You never said what 'thing' I was doing." Mercer was toying with her now, victory clearly at hand.

"You're asking questions to try to distract me, Frey!" she recovered a stumble before Mercer was able to capitalize on it.

"Still on surnames then?" another breathless laugh. "That's not fair, I can't reciprocate."

"A man who likes to reciprocate? That's good to know," she spun to strike the Guildmaster with her backhand to which he met with his sword to block. "But why can't you?"

His game worked. She was distracted, tripping on her own feet as she spun and stumbled backwards. Mercer lunged at the opportunity to take his win, tackling her to the ground and straddling her arms. A smug smile formed on his face as he gloated. "Say it."

"You know I'm not going to say it, Frey."

"Stop calling me that!" his command came out more as an exasperated plea than an order.

"Why? It's irritating you, so I like it" an insubordinate scowl paired with her childish taunt.

His weapons dropped to the floor, he put a palm on either side of her head as he leaned over, his face hovering over hers. "But I don't know your surname."

Her eyes widened at his confession before a roguish smile claimed her lips. "Ah, another bit of knowledge I have that you don't."

He stared back at her, unamused. "You know I don't have to let you up, right?"

"I'm fine like this for hours, your old man knees on the other hand…"

"My knees are fine, footpad." He was using his stern voice again, trying to command her to submit to him. "Tell me your surname."

"What's in it for me?" The roguish smile made another appearance.

His face turned into a predatory scowl. "We've been through this, footpad. Nothing has to be in it for you. I tell you to tell me your surname, then you tell me. End of story."

"Tough talk for a man on his back."

"Wha-"

FUS!

She straddled him, trapping his arms beneath her, a perfect replication of the pose he held over her moments before.

"I've told you to stop doing that!" his eyes narrowed at her in indignation. "You know what comes next."

She ignored his threats. "I'll tell you my surname if you tell me something in return. Quid pro quo."

His brows shot up momentarily at her reference to a night they spent together so long ago, a night neither of them ever spoke of. As far as he was concerned, they had started their relationship over the day she joined the guild, but he knew she was holding onto it. There's no way she had let it go, and that was even more obvious now with her claim of quid pro quo. He decided to play her game.

"What do you want?" his voice rumbled out of his chest. He knew it got to her by the way she shivered almost every time he spoke to her that way. Sure enough, she gave into a slight shiver at the sound.

She continued leaning over him, her face not giving any clues to what she was thinking. "I'll tell you my surname if you tell me where you're from."

Mercer smirked. This was too easy. "Deal."

"Hawkhart," she admitted sheepishly, "my surname is Hawkhart."

He held back a laugh, now understanding why she kept it to herself. "Well if I hadn't guessed you were Forsworn earlier, that name would have surely given it away."

"Hush!" she laughed, her cheeks blushing from embarrassment. "Now you know why I don't tell anyone. It's obvious. Not to mention cheesy."

"Yeah," he agreed, "it's pretty damn cheesy Kai."

He called her Kai. He'd never called her that before. She tried to look away so he wouldn't see her blush, but she knew he probably saw it. He always did.

"Your turn," she flipped the conversation to focus on him, trying to get her racing pulse to settle down.

"Will you let me up first?" He looked up at her with the closest expression to innocence he could ever hope to muster. Kaiya didn't buy it for a second, but it made her laugh and roll off of him, so it worked after all. He stood from the ground and made his way to sit on the barrels in the back of the room, beckoning Kaiya to follow.

"We should put a bench in here if we're going to keep having these post-sparring heart to hearts," she teased, hopping up on her designated sitting perch alongside her Guildmaster.

"Is that what you think we're doing?" his voice was cold but his eyes crinkled at the corners to soften his question.

"Either that or you have the most boring idea of foreplay I've ever seen," Kaiya jabbed her elbow into his ribs at that, forcing Mercer to dodge her.

He ignored her taunt and decided to press forward with the matter at hand. "You want to know where I'm from or not?"

"Yes!" Her eyes widened with excitement as she turned to face him on her barrel, somehow adjusting her small frame to bring her legs up to rest her chin on her knees, looking up at him. "Oh, and don't half ass this story, Mercer. I gave you my embarrassing surname, you owe me!"

He felt a smile creep up on his lips as he looked down at his boots for a moment, readying his nerves to continue. "I'm from Riften." He paused.

"Is that… is that it?" Kaiya looked at him with a raised eyebrow, hoping with everything in her that she hadn't fallen for one of his tricks. "Well that's some bullshit."

He looked at her with mock offense, pretending to be hurt that she didn't believe him. She shook her head and laughed at his horrible acting. "No, I said not to half ass it, Frey! I know good and damn well you're not from Riften."

"And what makes you so sure?"

"Well besides you and Delvin, I haven't exactly seen a ton of Bretons walking the streets of Riften. Are you telling me you were born and raised here?" she started laughing at the absurdity of it all. "Oh! Is your mom still up there somewhere? Can I meet her? Let's go!"

She prepared to jump off the barrel before Mercer put his arm out to keep her in place. "Ok, you win."

"Where did you live before you came to Riften, Mercer?" her tone was sharp and pointed, not wanting to have to drag it out of him, although she knew she probably would.

"Before Riften, I was in High Rock." He wouldn't meet her eyes.

"Mmhmm. And before that?" One of her eyebrows was raised in skepticism.

He looked at her with barely concealed surprise. "And what makes you think I'm not from High Rock?"

She leveled a blank stare at him. "Really, Mercer? You're from High Rock? No, not buying it."

"What, why?" his voice was revealing more than he wanted. "I'm a Breton. That's where Bretons are from."

"Mmhmm, yes. Bretons are from High Rock. I have met Bretons from High Rock. You're not a Breton from High Rock."

Mercer stared at her in disbelief. How could she possibly know him this well? "What does that mean?"

"It means that you're not good with people, Mercer." She laughed, softening what could have come across as a jab. "The Bretons I've met from High Rock ooze politics and networking. You're nothing like those Bretons." She hoped he knew she meant that as a compliment.

He nodded as he looked at his boots. "Well I did live in High Rock."

"Right, but you're not _from_ High Rock," she spoke softer than normal, not wanting him to take offense or get set off by anything she said. "I'm willing to bet your father wasn't a politician or a nobleman, was he?"

"No."

"Exactly. Where did you live before High Rock, Mercer?"

He eyed her suspiciously. This is not how he thought this conversation would end up. He did not like where it was going. "Why do you want to know so bad? Does it bother you that I know something you don't know?" He laughed, trying to distract her. "Do I have information you want? Oh this is rich!"

"Oh we must be getting to the good stuff now!" Kaiya joked, her knees falling to the side to sit cross legged so she could lean forward. "I have my suspicions just as you had yours. I answered your questions honestly, it's only fair that you answer mine the same way."

Damn this woman. She was starting to get under his skin with her consistent prodding. No one else would ever have imagined poking the Guildmaster this far. He spoke softly, where Kaiya could almost not pick up what he said. "The Reach."

"What's that?" she leaned forward, turning her ear to face him to encourage him to speak louder.

"I said I'm from the Reach. That's where I was born."

"See, that wasn't so hard, was it?" she smiled knowingly. He did not like being on the other side of an interrogation, that was for sure. "So let's see, young baby Mercer in the Reach. Was it a native settlement, Frey?"

"What are you getting at, Kaiya?" his tone was no longer playful.

"I'm getting at the fact that we're not so different, you and I." She smiled back at him victoriously. "You're Forsworn." She braced herself for his inevitable counter attack where he tried to take back control. It was just a matter of time…

"No. Not Forsworn. I'm a native Reachman." He knew it was a cheap shot, but he took it anyway.

"The difference is merely political, Mercer. You know that." Her gaze narrowed, warning him to use caution if he wanted to keep down this route. "I'm a native Reachman just as you are."

"Oh so you finally put together how I was able to guess you were Forsworn so easily?" he scoffed at her. "I was wondering if you'd ever figure out that I have the exact traits I brought up to explain how I came to that conclusion about you. Quick work, Kaiya."

"Oh please," she scoffed at him in return. "Mercer, you're terrible with magic."

"I'm sorry," he teased, "my father was merely a trained fighter. He was no Briarheart. My mother was just another native forager, not a Hagraven in training. Sorry to disappoint."

She didn't rise to the challenge he presented her with his instigation. She merely smiled at him as she sat quietly. Learning the way Mercer worked had its benefits.

"Frey isn't a native surname."

"I changed it. You can do that, you know. You don't have to be stuck with whatever nonsense name your parents gave you."

"I know that," she defended herself. "I don't keep it because I'm an idiot, Mercer. I keep it because that's all I have left of my parents."

"Oh," he looked down, admitting regret for his statement.

"That's right, OH," she joked, taunting him for lashing out at her the way he had. "Enough about me, tell me more! What in the Oblivion, Mercer? Where in the Reach?"

He laughed to himself at the way she said 'what in the Oblivion', pronouncing it as 'thee' Oblivion. It got to him every time she said it. It was just so… Kaiya.

"I don't remember much about it," he answered honestly. "But back then it wasn't like it is now. Not all natives were living in tribes and camps in the hills. Most of that happened after the Markarth incident."

Kaiya was silent, watching Mercer as he spoke. He smirked at her attention before continuing. "My family lived in Karthwasten."

"Karthwasten, really?" Kaiya responded, seemingly surprised. "You're one of those cultured Reachman that grew up in an actual house, aren't you?" She toyed with him a little with her jab, her attempt to out-Reachman the Reachman.

"It was glorious, let me tell you," he said, drily. He cut his eyes to her as he spoke, stressing his sarcasm.

Imagining Karthwasten in her mind caused Kaiya to snicker. It really was a shit hole. "Why'd you leave?"

"My father hated politics." He answered easily, as if it were obvious.

"Go on…" Kaiya spun her finger in a circle in the air, pushing him to continue.

Mercer let out a sigh with just a hint of a laugh. "Like I said, I don't remember much. Just what my parents told me. Natives were killing Nords along the road and Nords were starting to retaliate, taking some of our village's women in the night. It was the slow building of a war and we wanted nothing to do with it. We left and made our way to High Rock, figuring that we could live off my father's skills as a mercenary." He gave her a quick glance out of the corner of his eye, checking to make sure she was still listening.

"How old were you?" Kaiya seemed enthralled by the information he was giving her.

"Oh, eight or nine? I was young."

"Tell me about High Rock." She resumed her position of resting her chin on her knees, the struggle to draw information out of Mercer over for the moment.

He let out a small, nervous laugh as he continued. "I don't know how much you know about High Rock, but I can tell you that my father's gamble didn't pay off very well. Skills like his weren't as useful as kissing ass and gossiping." His disdain for both of those traits seemed to still be prevalent, his voice growing raw as he mentioned them.

"Is that when you started your career as a thief?" Kaiya asked.

"You could say that. It was more like that's when I started learning how to feed myself, but in this case it was one and the same."

Kaiya felt her heart thud at the thought of a starving Mercer, committing his first robberies in order to feed himself. No wonder he was such a good thief. He had no choice.

"When did you come to Skyrim?"

He released an exasperated sigh through pursed lips at her question. "Uh, what's it been? 25 years now?" He rubbed the back of his neck as he thought about it. He sounded old.

She smiled softly at him, feeling the tension in him as he spoke about it. "You look good for an old man," she teased, nudging his leg with her foot. He lazily rolled his head to the side to shoot her a look, his mouth a muted frown. He wasn't buying it.

She laughed at his response before asking a follow up question, "What brought you here?"

"I also joined the guild 25 years ago," he stated. "You can figure it out from there."

"Do you know Ainethach?" her question came out almost as a gasp, as if she just remembered he existed. "The old Breton that owns the mine over at Karthwasten now?"

"Old!?" Mercer retorted, offended. "I grew up with that guy!"

"Oops." Kaiya sunk her head back into her shoulders, baring her teeth in an awkward grimace. "I guess I always just thought of him as old because he's bald. But he's like, used to it, ya know? Like he's been bald for a long time."

Mercer let out a scoff of a laugh at her description, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise. "His family has owned that mine for longer than anyone can remember. His father was a bit of a slave driver, if I remember correctly. I always felt bad for the guy."

"Hm," Kaiya responded thoughtfully, "that explains the hair loss then."

Mercer shook his head as he smiled at her, "damn, you're more shallow than I thought!"

"What?" she acted surprised at his jab. "Shallow? No, no, no. I may have a ton of flaws, but that's not one of them. I didn't say his bald head made him ugly, it just makes him bald."

Mercer's laughing continued, "just keep digging, Kaiya. You're doing great."

"No really!" she started to snicker a bit at Mercer's reaction. It was contagious. "Did I mention he asked me to marry him?"

Mercer's laughter came to a sudden stop. "He did what now?"

"Yeah," Kaiya didn't get the hint that the time to laugh was over, so she kept going. "After I helped clear some Silver-Blood jackass Nord brutes out of his mine. I don't think he even knew my name."

Mercer laughed off the story but was met with the harsh reality that he had just felt jealous. Jealous! Over a silly native Breton that she laughed about as she described him. He came to the conclusion rather quickly that he did not like that feeling and would rather not ever feel that way again. He had never even thought about her with anyone else since she had been in the guild. Before? Sure, everyone knew Kaiya used sex as a coping mechanism. But since then? He had assumed she hadn't been with anyone, almost as though she was there for whenever he was ready to take her. This new epiphany did not sit well with him.

"We need to talk about your skooma job. It's getting late."

The abrupt change of subject could not have been more obvious if Mercer had just stood up on the barrel and yelled "that story made me jealous!" Kaiya stifled a laugh, dipping her forehead to touch her knees to hide her face so he wouldn't see. Once she regained her composure, she met his eyes, looking at her eagerly to say something to end the painfully awkward silence.

With a laugh still subtly present on her voice, she asked "what about it?"

They spent the next several minutes planning out the job she was to go on in the morning, the job given to her by the Jarl in order to become Thane. They planned her route, her escape, what she would need. Although Kaiya originally felt like he was being a little overbearing with his need to plan every detail, she began to think it was nice to have someone to talk out her plans with. She had never really had that before, besides the followers who accompanied her and did what she told them to do. This was different. They planned as equals.

Once they felt like they had every "what if" situation flushed out, Kaiya decided it was time for her to take her leave of the Guildmaster. She tried to consistently be the first to end their time together. It gave the illusion that she was the elusive one. She hopped off the barrel and stretched out her sore muscles, the nightly training with Mercer was effectively getting her body back to where it was before her "retirement." She caught Mercer watching her out of the corner of her eye and smiled. She had no idea what was happening between them but whatever it was, it was fun.

She patted his leg with one hand while holding his gaze with her own. "Thank you, by the way."

He eyed her skeptically. "For what?"

"For everything. For training with me, for treating me like a person and not just a title." She shot him a shy smile as she looked down, realizing how sappy she sounded. She felt herself squeezing his thigh in nervousness, so she let her hand drop by her side. "You're still an ass though!" she exclaimed, throwing a finger up to point in his face.

To anyone else, Mercer's face showed no expression. To Kaiya however, she noticed the slight crinkling at the corners of his eyes and the ever so subtle softening of his features that told her that her little speech meant something at least. "You're not so bad yourself," he paused, his face morphing into a devious grin "Hawkhart."

She gasped in feigned offense and smacked his shoulder. "Tough talk from a fellow Reachman, FREY," she mocked his chosen surname. "Of all names you could have chosen, you went with Frey? I mean the nerd at Dragonsreach even did better than that with Secret-Fire."

"Well Deep-in-his-cups was already taken, so…" Mercer joked, letting his sentence fade into the training room. Kaiya felt her grin grow wider at his response. It never ceased to surprise her that Mercer had such a sharp sense of humor.

They sat there grinning at each other for a moment, neither one seemingly wanting the night to end. Kaiya finally willed herself to pull away from the conversation, throwing a "goodnight Mercer" over her shoulder. He nodded and told her to come find him when she returned from her mission.

After Kaiya left the training room, Mercer was left alone as usual to ponder his thoughts. They usually bounced around after an encounter with her as he tried to decipher what had just happened but tonight it was clear. He had confided in her, and it didn't kill him. Here he sat, still breathing. While he would normally berate himself in anger at his weakness, tonight was different. He was allowing himself to enjoy it all. If something was developing between himself and Kaiya, so be it. It's not like he had much time left anyway.


	19. Chapter 19

_11th of Sun's Dawn 4E203_

Kaiya flung open the doors to Mistveil Keep as the last remnants of twilight cast purple hues along the stones. She limped towards where Jarl Laila Law-Giver sat finishing up her dinner with her steward and found herself wishing she had taken more time to cast at least one more healing spell. L _esson learned_ , she thought to herself. _Pit wolves aren't grateful if you release them from captivity_.

The nobles that found themselves at the keep that night seemed to purposely look away as Kaiya passed, whispering quietly to each other and glowering at her with judgment. She took note of their reactions, coming to the conclusion that she must look a total disaster. She felt like a disaster. She had succeeded in her mission to wipe out the skooma dealers, but she had definitely underestimated the strength of a few hopped up miners. Her left leg ached tremendously, having taken a pretty ruthless bite from one of the wolves the dealers kept for defense. Or for sport. She wasn't entirely sure of the purpose of all the wolves, but she knew it made her mad to see them caged up the way they had been. Realizing she may have contracted rock joint in the process, she reached into one of the pockets of her guild leathers and pulled out a hawk feather, chewing it down as she limped through the keep. That must have been a social misstep for some reason; the grumbling around her got a bit louder and one of the women in fine clothes at the table actually tutted at her. What was with these people? Had they never met a mercenary before?

Once she reached the Jarl at the head of the table, she loudly exclaimed that she had wiped out the skooma operation nearby and turned to the rest of the table to see if they were all paying attention. They were.

"You're welcome!" she announced to the room, holding out her arms in an elaborate taunt. "Fuckin' Nazeems" she mumbled under her breath, equating every toady in fine clothes in the keep to the infamous cloud district brown noser in Whiterun.

Jarl Laila seemed to find humor in Kaiya's behavior, looking down to stifle a laugh. Kaiya smiled back at her before speaking in a much more private volume, "I'm sorry, but I can't handle people like that. How do you do it?"

The jarl shook her head as she smiled and said "it's all funny really, if you think about it." Her smile turned into a feminine giggle as she covered her mouth. "It has to be funny because if it's not, then it's serious and that is just ridiculous."

Kaiya found herself pleasantly surprised at the personality she was seeing in his Jarl. They were all so vastly different, but Laila may be the first jarl she had met that seemed like someone she could actually have a conversation with. Kaiya went on to tell her the details of what happened and what she had uncovered and Laila seemed genuinely grateful of the effort she had taken.

"I have a reward for you, Dragonborn," Jarl Laila stated as she turned to whisper a command to her steward, "and as I've told you before, I also would like for you to become my Thane. The only thing you have left to do is purchase property. There is a house available right now. If you buy it, the title of Thane is yours."

Kaiya gave the jarl an awkward half smile, "I'd love to be your Thane. Just give me a little longer to save up some money for the house."

The jarl looked surprised at her response, leaning over to whisper to Kaiya privately, "I didn't expect money to be an issue for you, Dragonborn." Seeing Kaiya's reserved expression, Laila seemed to pick up that Kaiya wasn't being entirely honest. "It's not money, is it?" Kaiya shook her head. "Then what's the hold up? I don't understand."

"I just need to handle a few things first," she responded. "I need to get my personal life in order."

Jarl Laila nodded in response, understanding without having to ask further. "I see, well take your time but I can't promise that house will be available for much longer."

"Understood."

Jarl Laila's steward, who had been standing off to the side in order to give their conversation privacy, took this as her cue to present an enchanted sword.

"Dragonborn," Laila announced louder than necessary, wanting to ensure that all of the others in the room that had mocked Kaiya would hear this, "I would like to thank you for what you've done for Riften by presenting you with a weapon from my personal armory."

Kaiya cringed at the use of her Dragonborn title being used this way, but she wasn't one to complain when being presented with a free weapon. She accepted it graciously, giving thanks to the jarl and a nod to the steward who presented it to her. Leaning closer to whisper to Laila, she saw the jarl's bodyguard move his hand to this sword as a warning. "Thank you, and I will let you know about the house as soon as possible, OK?"

Jarl Laila responded with a wink "take your time and don't be a stranger. You should dine with us sometime. That should make for an entertaining evening."

Kaiya grinned at the jarl, grateful to know that there are more people out there that understood her than it seemed sometimes. With a nod, she took her leave from the Keep and made her way towards the secret entrance to the guild, limping as she walked.

Before she reached the entrance, she saw shadows move in the cemetery, indicating that she was not alone. All members of the Thieves Guild had been instructed to never enter if anyone was around, so Kaiya groaned inwardly as she kept walking past the graves. Of all nights to have to keep moving, the night she was limping would be the night.

"What happened to your leg, footpad?"

Kaiya would know that voice anywhere. She spun around to find her Guildmaster leaning against the wall, somehow finding a way to stay within the shadows even as he stood by a torch. Taking a moment to look around to ensure no one else was nearby, she cast another healing spell over herself to try to appease her aching body as well as the concerned Mercer. With the relief brought on by the spell, she found herself able to walk without much resistance over to where Mercer stood against the wall.

"Well look at you," she joked, her eyes roaming over his relaxed form, "out of the cistern! Looks like you took my advice to get out in the real world."

He smiled, but it did not reach his eyes. "You're hurt."

She waved him off casually, "psh, nah I'm fine. Just need some rest and a few bottles of mead, that's all."

Her nonchalance did nothing to dissuade his worry. "You shouldn't have gone alone." His brow was furrowed as he stared at her with a look that appeared almost guilty.

"Mercer, I'm fine. It was my fault for being a soft hearted idiot and letting a pack of wolves out of their cages," she laughed, hoping that he would join in and make fun of her like he usually did. His eyebrow raised in response, a hint of his mocking nature finally coming into focus.

"Soft hearted, huh?" he joked as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Why am I not surprised to find out you have a weak spot for animals?"

She shrugged, thankful that he seemed to be a little less worried now. "Everyone's got a soft spot Mercer." She grinned up at him, the light from the torch accentuating the green in his eyes. "I've been searching for yours for a while now."

He just stared back in response, his expression skeptical but with a slight curve in his lips indicating he had found his humor. If she didn't know any better, she would think the look he wore was almost affectionate. He seemed to notice that he was not controlling his features as commandingly as he normally did by the way she was looking back at him, causing him to clear his throat and look down at his boots.

Kaiya noticed his awkwardness and in a gracious attempt to help him out of it, she changed the subject. "So why are you out here, really?"

"I just had a meeting with Maven." His words matched his new expression, cold and severe. "I hope you're not really hurt, because she's picked a day for the Goldenglow job."

Kaiya's heart sank at his words. It was one thing for her to play off her injuries to Mercer, but it was another to think about doing a tough job on her sore body anytime soon.

"When?" she asked quietly, running a hand through her hair and looking at her own boots.

"Tomorrow."

Kaiya's eyes shot back up from the ground to meet his. "Tomorrow?!"

Mercer gave a slow nod in response. "Like I said, I hope you're not really hurt."

"And all this time I thought you cared," she joked, resorting to what she knew how to do best.

"I'm serious Kaiya," he thundered, standing up straight and moving away from the wall towards her. "This isn't a game. Are you going to be able to do the job tomorrow or not?"

She gulped at his anger. He was really worried about this. "Yes Mercer," she said, taking up her best reassuring voice. "I will be fine. I'm fine now."

"Really?" he asked skeptically, "because you look like you might collapse."

"Are you saying I look like shit, Mercer!?" she laughed, slapping him lightly in the chest. His expression only grew more skeptical. "I'm just tired, that's all. I just traveled to this dingy cave full of skooma addled gamblers and had to fight off a bunch of idiots with pickaxes. And that was before I let out the godsdamned wolves!" She laughed, making light of it all once again. "I've faced worse than that by quite a bit, Mercer. That doesn't mean I don't get tired. Like I said, I just need some sleep and mead and I'll be good to go by tomorrow. Promise." She hoped she meant it as much as it sounded like she did.

He stared at her for a moment before responding. "Well I hope you're right, because if you can't get this job done I don't know who can."

"Selling yourself short there, aren't ya?" Kaiya laughed. "You're telling me that the big bad Guildmaster wouldn't stoop so low as to handle a job like this?"

Mercer's face turned staunchly serious, the shadows from the torch revealing the dark circles present under his eyes. "I actually just offered that to Maven." He looked down at his boots, rolling one foot over a loose rock. "I told her I wanted to do it instead of having you do it, but she wouldn't bite."

Kaiya's mouth dropped open in shock. Had he just confessed to offering himself in her place? She knew he'd blow it off and say he offered himself so that it would get done right but she knew better. This was his way of showing he cared. _What in the Oblivion was happening between them?_ Besides the night they shared in the past, they had not made any moves in regards to a physical relationship but yet here he was, acting altruistically.

The quiet between them stretched longer than either of them intended, both deep in thought as they read between the lines of their conversation. He hoped she wouldn't say what she was thinking out loud. She knew better than to voice her thoughts. It worked for them.

"I guess we've got some planning to do tonight then. Let's go back to the cistern."

"Let's get back to the cistern, but no planning tonight. You need to rest." He began looking around to see if they had any company nearby that would witness their descent into the secret entrance. Kaiya smiled and reached out to touch his forearm, having a much more effective tool in her arsenal for this purpose.

LAAS YAH NIR

Mercer's eyes widened as the night became illuminated with red forms moving throughout the city. He saw a guard-shaped red blotch moving towards the cemetery and was suddenly incredibly grateful for Kaiya's weird skills.

He could tell that she noticed the guard coming their way as well. She was looking around for a place they could hide for the moment, not wanting to bring attention to themselves or give any reason for suspicion this close to the entrance. Too many people in thieves guild armor lurking in a particular area seemed to breed more guard patrols.

Without thinking much of what he was doing, Mercer decided to go with the first idea that popped in his head. He reached out and grabbed hold of Kaiya's arm, pulling her into him. The only indication he gave her that he had a plan was a whispered "go with this, trust me" before leaning down and pressing his lips into hers.

He felt her jolt in surprise at the contact before giving into it in complete understanding of what he had in mind. She let him lead, matching her mouth with his as he kissed her. In a move that felt completely natural, he let his arms wrap around her waist, pulling her against him. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders, one handing finding its way into his hair.

They both could feel it. He knew that. This wasn't just an act for the sake of the guard. The guard wouldn't know if he pulled back and bit her bottom lip playfully, but he did it. The guard wouldn't care if she moaned as she pressed herself into him, but she did.

The guard moved past them, mumbling "no lollygagging" as his pace increased, wanting to remove himself from the intimate situation between two residents as quickly as possible. As the guard moved out of range, Mercer felt his lips curving into a smile. He pulled back, leaning his forehead against Kaiya's. Her expression was the exact same. They grinned at each other like idiots, neither moving, neither breaking the contact. Kaiya's hand stayed idly playing with Mercer's hair. Mercer's hands stayed on her back, holding her to him.

"What was that, Mercer?" Kaiya finally broke the silence, smile still on her face.

"You know what it was" he responded, his voice husky and raw as it rumbled from his chest.

Neither of them spoke again but slowly pulled away from each other as they realized that any longer in that position would mean they'd have to actually talk about it. They made their way to the secret entrance and into the cistern, both of their minds a jumbled mess after what just transpired. Little did they know, they were both thinking the exact same thing.

"We've gotta do that again."


	20. Chapter 20

_12th of Sun's Dawn 4E203_

Kaiya woke naturally, without being startled awake by a nightmare, for the first time in as long as she could remember. In fact, she woke with a grin still on her face from the night before. She opened her mouth to stretch out her tight jaw, wondering if she had been grinning throughout the night. Still smiling, she got up and washed herself in a nearby washbasin before getting dressed for the day ahead. It was going to be a big one.

Mercer had insisted that she rest the night before and refused to do any planning, putting her to bed shortly after they entered the cistern from their rendezvous outside. He told her to find him when she woke and they would plan. At his house. He insisted it was so the cistern didn't "turn into chaos like last time," but she couldn't help but hope it was so he could get her alone again. Still, the thought of being in Mercer's house for the first time made her nervous. _Nervous and excited_. It was always a surreal experience to see someone's home for the first time - where they slept, where they ate. It was so personal.

Since she had no idea where he lived, he told her he would meet her in the cistern in the morning. She looked up from her sleeping area to find him leaning over the ledger at his desk, as usual. She could not prevent the smile that seemed a now permanent feature as she made her way across the cistern to meet her Guildmaster.

As she approached the desk, she let herself take him in - the way he acted when no one was around. His hair fell into his eyes, causing him to run a hand through it to move the loose strands away from his face. His shoulders hunched forward, his face in the scowl that seemed to be part of his uniform while he was around his guild. A memory flashed into her mind of the night before of his hands, the same hands that now supported his weight against the desk, wrapped around her waist. The memory made her blush, but she quickly put all thoughts of it behind her as she stood before the desk. It was time for business.

He must have felt her presence because he spoke without looking up. "You ready?" he asked, his eyes still on the ledger.

"I'm ready." She refrained from cracking a joke in this moment, knowing that the Guildmaster was supremely nervous about the mission today. She just hoped that the full nights' sleep she had the night before was enough to get her body ready. Her leg didn't hurt when she walked as it had the night before, but she also hadn't had the chance to do anything more than walk across the cistern. She'd have to test it out soon.

Mercer led the way out of the cistern towards his home, which was surprisingly close by. Now she knew. As they approached the front door, she saw the all too familiar shadowmark indicating a member of the Thieves Guild lived here, carved into the wood of the frame. She silently chided herself for not noticing this mark outside this house before. He apparently didn't intend to make his home as much of a secret as it was.

Her anxiety grew as they walked through the front door, immediately meeting a disorganized collection of random household items. As usual, Kaiya decided to break the tension in the only way she knew how.

"So this is the home of the infamous master of the Thieves Guild," she said in a tone of false reverence. His only response was a furrowed brow as he glared at her over his shoulder.

"I finally get to see where you sleep," she continued, acting as though she were starstruck. He ignored her. "I'm actually not convinced you sleep. Do you sleep, Mercer? Or do you just angrily wait?"

She could see a smile forming at the corners of his eyes from her view of his side profile as they made their way through his house. There were a few mercenaries throughout the first few rooms that nodded at him as they traversed through the entrance way and into his bed chamber. He closed the door behind him, causing Kaiya to gulp in nervousness as the sudden isolation.

"So this is where you sleep? I'm sorry, wait. This is where you angrily wait." she looked over at him through the corner of her eye, noticing that he just stared at her. She couldn't tell if he was just eyeing her to see what her reaction would be or if he was eyeing her in response to the way she was teasing him. Either way, it didn't matter.

"I was half expecting you to have another ledger in here that you lean over in your spare time," she commented as she walked around the room, eyeing the contents of his shelves. She heard him scoff in response as he fished out two bottles of mead, setting them on a table in between two chairs set up in front of his fireplace.

"This is a nice place Mercer," she was finally being sincere. She caught his eyes in a moment of playful eye contact before she said "I'm disappointed now that I'm only here for business."

He caught her meaning, raising an eyebrow in response. "You should feel privileged to be here in the first place," he finally spoke. "Only a handful of people outside of these mercenaries have ever stepped foot in here."

"Yeah what's up with those mercenaries?" she asked bluntly, thanking him as he handed her a bottle of mead and directed her to a chair in front of the fireplace.

"Well," he answered, sitting down in the chair next to hers. "I like protecting my things."

"Well that much is obvious," she joked, her eyes no longer roaming the room and instead settled firmly on him. "But I get it, I guess. That's what I have a housecarl for though," she bragged, taking a sip of mead to punctuate her taunt.

He scoffed as he shook his head at her. "Oh yeah? Where's your housecarl in Riften then, Thane?" a smile curled across his lips as he saw her eyes widen at his statement. "Oh wait, you're not Thane yet, are you? Because you haven't bought that damned house."

"How is that your business, Frey?"

His face took on a look of humored authority. "Everything you do in this city is my business, for one. Secondly, the only reason I allowed you to do that job, that got you hurt and almost affected guild business, by the way, was so that you could become a Thane. But then you don't take the last step."

Kaiya swallowed in nervousness as she watched his grin turn devious. _What was he getting at?_

"It's almost like you would rather sleep in a damp, smelly bed in a godsdamned sewer than sleep in your own home. Why's that, Kaiya?"

 _Oh. That's what he was getting at._ Kaiya blushed at how easily he saw through to her motives on not buying the house in Riften yet. He was right. The fact of the matter was that she secretly worried that living outside of the cistern would cause her to become isolated from the guild and that horrified her. Everyone else slept in the cistern or in rooms along the Flagon. If she lived elsewhere, there would be fewer reasons why she should realistically be there. The thought of drifting apart from her new family or even worse, Mercer, was enough to keep her sleeping in that dingy bed in the middle of a populated sewer. And he knew it.

She glared at him with sheer bravado as she racked her brain for an answer. She knew she didn't owe him one, but this was one of those questions that if she didn't have an answer, her silence would be answer enough.

"I have my reasons!" she answered awkwardly. _Good one, Kai._ "I told you to leave this to me, Frey!"

"Whatever Hawkhart." he laughed, effectively throwing her surname as an insult as she did his. "You're easier to figure out than the rest of the guild thinks."

Realizing it was long past time to change the subject, she did so. "Well I'm not here to talk about my decisions, I'm here to plan for the job tonight. Right, Mercer?"

He just laughed, her answer telling him all he needed to know. "Yes, you're right. You're not here to talk about why you like sleeping in a sewer."

He stood, walked over to a nearby desk and pulled out a slip of paper. He handed it over to Kaiya while returning to his seat. "This is a map of the Goldenglow Estate."

"What's with the bloodstains?" Kaiya asked as she opened the map, tracing her fingers along the dark red smudges.

"It's the same map I gave to Vex."

"Oh," Kaiya mumbled, swallowing the lump that formed in her throat at the thought. The bloodstained map was a sobering reminder of how dangerous this mission promised to be. Silence fell between the two thieves as they studied the map, neither one wanting to discuss Vex's attempt any more.

"So this is the opening to the sewer Vex told us about," Kaiya said as she pointed to an area on the map, circled with charcoal.

"I believe so," Mercer responded, leaning closer to Kaiya as they gazed over the paper. He was close enough that she was able to pick up his scent, his signature mix of water and stone. She stifled a shiver and pushed his chest to make him sit back in his chair. "You can't get that close to me, it's distracting."

"Is that so?" Mercer asked, a predatory grin taking over his expression.

Kaiya sighed heavily, flustered by their current situation. "Normally I would love to humor you by playing along Mercer but right now I've got to figure out how I'm going to get out of this damn meadery alive."

Her statement was like a bucket of ice water, dousing any flirtation the Guildmaster considered throwing at her. She was more right than even she knew. He was highly suspicious that Maven chose this night for the infiltration not because it was the best for stealth, but because it was the worst. She wanted Kaiya dead, it was no longer a theory.

"How do you plan on getting to this area unseen?" he asked solemnly, pointing to the marked area on the map.

A small smile took over her features as she looked at him, a violet swirl forming in her left palm as she readied a spell. "Like this!" she exclaimed before casting it and immediately disappearing from sight.

"Why didn't you tell me you could cast invisibility!?" he roared, his anger outweighing the relief he felt in knowing she was a highly capable illusionist.

A conniving snicker could be heard somewhere in the room. She had moved from the chair. He started looking around wildly, not wanting her to get the better of him with some prank. "I thought we were being serious now, Kaiya!"

"We are." It was a faint whisper, right by his ear. While he could not see her, he felt her breath hit him as she spoke. Another giggle echoed around the room as she scampered away, suddenly becoming visible once more as she took a sip of her mead, sitting next to him as she was before.

His eyes narrowed at her as a silent reprimand. "Good. You still should have told me you were capable of casting that spell, though."

"Oh but it's much more fun having you find out this way," she teased as she opened the map again, shooting him a side glance.

They continued to plan her mission for the next several hours. Mercer's meticulous nature at times becoming almost overbearing as he started to ask about mundane details. They had it all planned, down to the weapons and potions she would carry. She felt a smile tug at the corners of her mouth, realizing that some of his neurotic behavior was because he was nervous, not for the mission itself but for her safety. He wouldn't admit it if she pressed him on it, but this is why their relationship worked. He didn't have to say it out loud for her to understand him.

The conversation went along smoothly until he unknowingly stepped onto a very touchy subject with a single question. "What about enchanted jewelry? What's the enchantment on that?" He pointed to the ring she wore around her neck on a chain.

Her fingers instinctively reached up to hold onto it, feeling defensive. "Don't worry about my necklace" was all she stated, cold and void of all emotion.

He held up his hands in surrender, brows furrowed in confusion. "I mean no offense. I just noticed that you always wore it, is all. I thought it must have an enchantment."

"It's enchanted, but that's not why I wear it." She looked down noticing her knuckles were white with how hard she clenched the ring. "I don't want to talk about it, Mercer." Her voice was barely audible.

He sat quietly in shocked surprise at her emotional response to a question about her damn amulet. For all she had trusted him with, for this to be off limits was intriguing to say the least. He dared not push her on it though, not now at least. For now, he needed to calm her already frayed nerves or she would remain a wreck throughout the mission. That didn't bode well for anyone.

"Hey," he spoke softly, a note of genuine caring in his tone. "I'm not going to make you take it off and you don't have to talk about it, okay?" He put his palm to her jaw to lift her face to look at him. "It's okay."

"It's okay," she repeated, her stare still somewhat vacant. After a few more moments of deep thought she relented to his efforts of calming her down and sighed, eyes closed, and leaned into the hand at her jaw. They sat this way for a few moments, Kaiya calming her nerves while Mercer's grew more on edge. What was that all about?

"We've done all the planning we could possibly do," he spoke, still cautious, "but you still have a few hours before it's dark enough for you to head out. Why don't you head to the cistern and finish up any last minute preparations?"

She just nodded, still somewhat on edge. His hand still on her jaw, he let it slide through her hair before disconnecting their contact. They both stood to go and he led her to the back door for a less conspicuous exit. "Come find me here before you leave, okay?"

Kaiya's gaze met his with a look of confusion, leading him to explain himself further. "I just want to see you off before you go, that's all."

She smiled, the playful nature she normally wore taking residence back up on her features. "Deal" was all she said before making her way out of his home and towards the secret entrance of the guild.

Mercer watched her leave, his mind still racing on what he had just seen. He was faced with a dilemma. He had hoped to find a weakness of hers to exploit back when she first joined the guild, but so much had changed since then. He knew if he pushed her on it, she would break and tell him but a sliver of guilt rose up to sit in his stomach. He leaned his head against the doorframe as he watched her walk away, his mind reeling to find a way to deal with all the competing thoughts and emotions that raced through his head. One thought reigned supreme, however. If Maven got her way, Kaiya would not be alive for much longer.

* * *

"Kaiya!" Sapphire called out as the Breton entered the cistern through the secret entrance. "Come meet our newest guild member!"

Kaiya smiled as she approached Sapphire, overhearing the thief lean in to the new recruit and whisper "this is Kaiya, she's one of the best we've got!"

"Hiya new blood!" Kaiya remarked to the new member of their guild, "I'm Kaiya."

"So I've heard," the recruit stated emotionlessly. "I'm Ravyn. Ravyn Imyan."

Nervously, Sapphire interjected a whisper to the underwhelmed Kaiya. "It's about time we recruited more dark elves, eh?"

Kaiya didn't respond, a confused look still on her face as she glowered at the new recruit. _How about show a little respect_ , she thought.

"I don't know, you don't look so impressive to me. You're no Gray Fox, but you must be doing something right to be getting 'the biggest job we've had in years' as they say." His arms crossed over his chest as he cocked his hip out to the side, an obvious effort to try to gain control of the conversation.

"Right." Kaiya responded drily. "Well this was nice. I'm going to go finish planning for 'the biggest job we've had in years' or whatever" she joked as she took her leave, walking away from the frustrating Dunmer.

 _Oh, so he was one of those dark elves_ , she thought to herself. While she had never made it a secret that she had an affinity for the Dunmer, she never ceased to become annoyed at those who acted like they were better than everyone else or like they were on a quest to prove their superiority. That type of behavior was expected from a Thalmor, but a dark elf in the cistern? It didn't work here.

She made her way to the Flagon to spend some time with Delvin before her big job. He was always able to calm her nerves in a way that no one else could. Well, no one else but Mercer, as crazy as that was.

She plopped down across the table from Delvin, surprising everyone as she turned down a bottle of mead. "Can't tonight boys," she joked, "I've gotta be ready to leave for Goldenglow in a few hours."

Raised eyebrows met her from the others in the Flagon, none of which were previously aware that tonight was the night. She smiled at the way they began asking questions all at once - Mercer was right to schedule their planning session out of earshot of the worrying thieves.

"We've got it all under control boys, no need to squirm about, really." Vekel scoffed at her response. He hated it when she patronized him, which is exactly why she did it. Delvin just smiled at her knowingly. He always knew more than he let on.

"Heard you got an invite to Riftweald Manor today" he said, his eyes trained on her face to read her response. She felt her glare narrow at him playfully.

"Yeah, super intense planning session." She left her description vague on purpose to let him have his fun. He seemed to really like the idea of Kaiya and Mercer spending time together.

He gave Kaiya an impressed nod before taking a sip from his tankard. "Aye, I bet it was." A twinkle of mischief was barely visible in his blue eyes. Silence fell over them for a moment while they communicated only in facial expressions. She loved the way they could do this.

"What's up with the new recruit, Delvin?" she asked when their previous conversation seemed to reach its end. "He seems like a real jackass."

Delvin smiled at her question, "give the guy a break, love. Think back to how it felt when you first joined up, wantin' to prove yourself."

"Was I that much of an ass?"

"Yes!" the response came from Vekel, yelling over at them from behind the bar.

Kaiya let out a laugh at his answer. "Not asking you, Vekel!"

"See? You're still are an ass, Kai!" she shot him a glare and he grinned back, his face showing his intention was merely to joke.

"What happened to make you ask that, Kai?" Delvin asked, bringing them back to the topic at hand.

"Eh, I don't know," Kaiya brushed it off, not wanting to make too big of a deal out of nothing. "He just reminded me of one of the inmates in Cidhna Mine that would grab a shiv as soon as they got in to show everyone they could defend themselves."

"You spend a lot of time in Cidhna Mine?" His face was amused, as if there were far more interesting things to speak about than the new recruit.

"Oh how many of us haven't spent time in a jail cell?" she deflected his question. "Whether it be Cidhna Mine or the dungeons in Falkreath, they're all the same."

"I don't know about that love," Delvin responded calmly, taking another sip from his tankard. "But whatd'I know?"

Kaiya just shrugged, not wanting to keep up the conversation about the infamous prison of Markarth any more. She was self conscious about any mention of the Reach now that Mercer had figured her out, especially speaking to another very observant Breton as she did now.

He seemed to notice her desire to let it go, so he diverted the topic. "You ready for tonight, love?"

"As ready as I'm gonna be," she answered honestly, absentmindedly spinning the ring she wore around her neck. "I should actually start getting my things together soon, but I wanted to distract myself for a moment first."

"Somethin' troublin' ya? I'll listen."

A soft smile spread across her lips as she focused on a loose string from her glove. "Nah, it's not like that. Just the jitters before a big job, is all."

"I'm gonna tell you somethin', but if you tell anyone I told ya this, I'll deny it," Delvin whispered, leaning towards her across the table. "You're one of the best damn thieves in the place. You're the one for this job. Now don't get me wrong, Vex is amazin' at what she does, but you were born for this line of work, Kai."

Kaiya felt her cheeks grow hot and tears form in the corners of her eyes at the praise she was receiving from someone she respected. She was never good at receiving compliments. "You ass," she joked, hitting his arm across the table. With one hand, she dabbed the moisture away from her eyes before they betrayed her further.

He just smiled with pure affection in response. "I meant every word, love."

They spent a little while longer talking and joking to ease her tension before she forced herself to stand to take her leave from the conversation. It was time.

"I'm surprised boss isn't down here to see ya off," Delvin asked, looking around.

"He asked me to swing by his house before I left," she responded, throwing a piece of Delvin's bread into her mouth with a wink.

"Ah, I see" Delvin teased before turning serious. "Humor him with this, Kai. If he's feeling even a fraction of what I felt when we saw Vex off, he needs this more than you know."

Kaiya's face showed her surprise at his comment. "It's a little different Delv, we're not like you and Vex."

"Ah come off it Kai," he teased, "you don't have to play tough with me."

"No," she looked around, making sure no one could overhear before she whispered "we're not in a relationship."

"Neither are we," he gave her a wise smile, "don't get too caught up in the minutiae of it all love, you know what's goin' on."

He gave her one last smile before turning to head towards the bar, effectively giving her the opportunity to take her leave. She turned and made her way to her designated trunk by the foot of her designated bed. She rummaged around before pulling out the weapons her and Mercer had decided she would bring - her sword, dagger and bow, all dragonbone. She collected a few of the potions they had agreed upon as well, not wanting to drag herself down with too many sloshing bottles in her pack. She put the finishing touches on her wardrobe by attaching her hood and made her way out of the cistern. No one else knew tonight was the night, so no one else found the need to wish her off. It was better that way. It's not like she could concentrate anyway after what Delvin had just dropped on her. _Talk about a heavy conversation, sheesh_.

She made her way out of the secret entrance and walked around to the back door of Riftweald Manor, the fancy name of Mercer's house. She knocked in the pattern he had taught her to signify it was her, before the door swung open and a casually clad Mercer stood in the doorway. She felt her heart tug a bit at the sight of him. He was barefoot and wearing nothing but his trousers and an undershirt, the exact same wardrobe he had adorned the night she shared with him in the Bee and Barb.

He waved for her to enter and enter she did, walking past him and catching his scent. It was almost overwhelming when it wasn't covered up by his guildmaster leathers. She could get used to this casual Mercer. She was a fan.

He stepped behind her to help her take off her pack and weapons so she could sit comfortably with him while they waited until it was time for her to leave. As he slid the pack from her, she could feel his hands graze her neck and back, even through her armor. The contact made her shiver, the touch almost sparking as they touched each other. The tension building between them was reaching its boiling point; it couldn't last the way it had been for much longer.

They made their way to his bedroom and he closed the door behind her. If she wasn't about to go on a job that had almost killed her fellow guild member, she would have been much more excited. She walked around the room, taking in everything that Mercer found important enough to place on his shelves. It was the little things like this that drove her mad - what made him tick? Why did he have giant antlers on his wall? Why was his house named Riftweald Manor? It was this, the natural curiosity of everything about the man, that made Delvin's words ring in her mind. _You know what's going on_. He was right. She was falling for Mercer.

She turned and looked over her shoulder at him as he stood leaning against the door frame. The light from the sconces danced along his form, casting a soft light onto his features. He really was an attractive man. She approached him where he stood, looking up to make eye contact. She could feel her movements take on a much more feminine sway, her body preparing itself to do something much different from the sneaking and thieving that was in her immediate future. She'd have to save this moment for later. At least it would give her something to look forward to coming back to.

He seemed to notice the change in her as well, his expression taking on an intrigued gaze. Of all times for her to look at him like that, this was the worst possible moment. What could he do about it anyway?

"We don't have much time." It was as much of a statement of fact as it was a warning. "You'll need to leave soon."

"I know" she responded, looking down as she played with the hem of his shirt.

"Hey," he spoke softly, pulling down her hood with one hand and lifting her face to look at him with the other. "It's going to be fine."

She felt her eyes swell with moisture at the tenderness of the way he spoke to her. Maybe Delvin was right. Maybe he did need this. He took the tears in her eyes to be a sign of fear, so he moved both of his hands to cradle her face. "Hey, none of that." He spoke almost sternly now, attempting to command away her emotion. "You're ready for this. You'll be back in no time."

"I know, it's not that. It's just," she found herself pausing as she figured out a way to say what she was thinking. "I need to do something before I leave."

"What? What is it?"

She locked her gaze onto his and in an instant, he knew what she wanted. He let one hand fall from her face and placed it on the small of her back, gently pulling her towards him. The other hand stayed on her face, his thumb rubbing patterns on her cheek. Both of her hands clutched at his shirt as they stared at each other, giving this moment space to take its time. Timidly, she raised up on her toes as he bent down, letting their lips meet in the middle. He kissed her slowly and she matched his pace, letting her lips form to his and releasing all control to him. He felt her softly moan into him as his hand slid around to the back of her neck, bracing her against him as his intentions became known in his movements. They both let this moment do the speaking for them, all of their worries, fears, wants and feelings coming to the surface and exploding in the sparks that seemed to surround them. She let her hands wander around to his sides, feeling his breathing beneath her fingers as she roamed around his body. She breathed in his smell, water and stone, letting it consume her from the inside out. She concentrated on his taste and the way his body felt under her hands, wanting to lock this moment in her memory forever.

Before their kiss had the chance to become too eager, Mercer slowly pulled back, sensually biting her bottom lip as he smiled, resting his forehead against hers. She smiled in return as they stood there, neither pulling away, neither wanting this moment to end.

"Right when it was getting good, too" Kaiya softly spoke, her words breathy with want as she continued to grasp at his shirt.

"Well now, I've gotta give you something to come back for." His voice was husky and deep, rolling out in waves that she could feel under her fingers.

She exhaled a laugh. "I wouldn't worry about that if I were you."

"Oh yeah? What should I be worried about then?" His voice was the deepest she'd ever heard it, and it caused her to shiver. He noticed, letting rumbling chuckle escape his chest in response.

"Be worried that I won't be able to keep my hands off you next time," she threatened, her hands sliding under his shirt to accentuate her meaning.

"Threaten me with a good time" he joked with a laugh.

After a few more heartbeats of basking in their stolen moment, they both knew it had to come to an end. Mercer straightened his posture, gliding his hands from around Kaiya and grabbing her hands that had found their way under his shirt, removing them from his body. She frowned comedically at the loss of touch, but he just laughed and tsk'd at her, reminding her that she had work to do. The atmosphere had taken on a much lighter feel, allowing both thieves to breathe freely in relief. The pressure was gone.

He walked her out of his bedroom and back out into the common area where he had stashed her pack and weapons. Helping her put it all back on he laughed as he handed over her sword. "Better grab your boyfriend," he joked. She laughed, sheathing the sword in its rightful place.

"Do you have little friend?" he asked, but Kaiya couldn't tell if he was being serious or not with his question. The thought of him referring to her weapons by their names without cracking a joke about it made her smile.

In just a matter of minutes, she was packed, prepared and ready to go. She stood at the door in anticipation to leave. How do you say goodbye in a situation like this?

Mercer reached over and added the final touch to her ensemble, pulling her hood back up and covering her wild mane of blonde hair. It was a simple gesture, but it felt intimate. Intimate and final.

Kaiya wasn't good at this sort of thing, so she decided the best way to handle it was to cut it short and let it go, not drag it out any longer. "Well, before this gets awkward, I'm going to leave" she smiled at him and he returned the gesture, appreciative of her ability to make any situation lighter.

Before she turned to go, she went up on her toes and placed her lips to his once more in a slow, teasing, almost chaste kiss. "How's that for giving you something to look forward to, huh?" she teased before turning and walking away. She shot one final glance over her shoulder at the smirking Guildmaster as she made her way out of his line of sight. With a deep breath to steel her resolve, she continued her journey out of the city gates and onward to Goldenglow Estate.


	21. Chapter 21

_13th of Sun's Dawn 4E203_

All she had to do was set fire to the hives. Everything else was done. No one had seen her or even sensed her presence thus far. It had been a perfect mission. She stood there, obscured from view of the roaming sentinels, hid by the very hives she was preparing to ignite. Her right hand prepared and disengaged the flames spell, over and over, waiting until the time was perfect. She wanted to set the fires in the early hours of the morning, just so most of the Rift would wake to the smell of smoke and see the plumes rising in the grey dawn sky. This would send a clear message that the guild wasn't to be trifled with. _Any minute now_.

As the sky began its change from grey to purple, Kaiya knew it was time. She called the flames into her hand once more but did not cast the spell. Too loud, too obvious. Instead, she slowly approached the first hive with the flame, no more fierce than that of a candle, from the palm of her hand. She carefully moved her hand down the side of the hive with just enough contact to get the flame to catch. It worked beautifully. The fire began to grow up the side of the straw, slow at first then much faster than she expected. She'd have to move quickly now.

She approached the second and third hives the same way as the first, moving gracefully and quickly to ensure the mission's end would be perfect. As the third and final hive caught fire however, she found herself fixated by the flames. The way they consumed the straw of the hive with a voracious hunger, reaching out to find what they could consume next. She felt the heat on her face, the smell of the black smoke clinging to her. The flames started taking shapes as she stared, shapes of faces in pain and bodies littering a stone floor. The images became more vivid, as if she were teleported to the scene they displayed. She knew the scene well. She saw a roaring werewolf, crying in pain while surrounded by fire. She could smell the burnt flesh as she moved through the corridors of the ancient tomb turned sanctuary. The visions acted as they always did, a series of flashes of recollection moving faster and faster. A ferocious black horse, rising up on hind legs to defend his comrades. A translucent blue, ethereal brother, moving swiftly through the flames until he melted away into a puddle. The black sacrament. The Blade of Woe. And as these brutal mental hijacks always seemed to end, the last vision of a mage in black robes, pinned to a tree by steel arrows. Kaiya was frozen in place until these memories would leave her. A part of her, somewhere deep inside and overtaken by the scenes playing out before her, cried out that she needed to snap out of it. Her inner voice screamed out that she needed to move. She needed to flee. This was the time she was supposed to make her escape.

Suddenly, her focus exploded back into view after a piercing, sharp pain hit her in the chest. She shook her head to try to clear out the remaining tendrils of memory, holding on with all she had to her consciousness. _It happened again._ Looking down, she saw what it was that brought her back into the world of the living - a single steel arrow, pierced through where her chest met her left shoulder. Her head jerked up, eyes roaming for the sight of her attacker, only to see that instead of one furious archer, coming at her was a stampede of angry mercenaries. Her instincts took over, her feet pushing off of the ground where she stood into a leap towards her escape. She ran, terrified and and panic stricken, towards the water.

Kaiya sprinted towards the lake, mercenaries close behind. She dove in without a second thought, thrashing and paddling as fast as possible to put as much distance between herself and the yelling Nords as she could. Arrows sped past her through the water, one narrowly missing her stomach by inches. The arrow in her chest left a trail of red behind her, showing a direct path to her swimming form from the shore. Reaching the bank of the far side of the lake, she checked behind her. They had not followed, but arrows still whipped past her where she stood. She paused, breathed deep and with eyes closed, quickly cast the spell for invisibility. In a flash, she vanished from sight. She heard the mercenaries groan and taunt from across the river, but it was clear they could no longer see her. Taking advantage of her camouflage, she ran swiftly through the trees and brush, getting as far away as possible while unseen before it became very clear that her wound was going to need immediate attention. Without much thought, she plopped down on the grass, leaning against a tree for support. _Well, if I'm being trailed I guess this is it_ , she thought, looking around her as much as the searing arrow in her chest would allow. The pain caused her head to fall back onto the trunk as she tried to gain control of her breathing. _Inhale. Exhale. Come on Kaiya. Inhale. Exhale._

Blood pumped from the wound with each beat of her racing heart and she knew she didn't have much time before the lack of blood caused her to pass out. She looked down, eyeing the wooden shaft sticking from her shoulder with contempt. She grumbled obscenities at no one in particular, cursing the arrow in her shoulder and cursing herself for getting distracted. Kaiya could not believe she had botched the ending of this mission by something as silly as getting transfixed by a fire.

 _A fire! How many of them had she walked right by without a second thought? But this one, this fire, had to be the one that she became hypnotized by. How pathetic!_ Her eyes slammed shut as she tortured herself with her own self interrogation, fighting the instinct to keep plummeting in her downward spiral of self torment. She needed to pull herself together, this self loathing would not be of much help in her current predicament. She could not let her mind get caught up in the cycle of replaying this in her head over and over yet. That might be the final straw for her to finally break. She'd deal with it later, or at least that's what she convinced herself in order to keep going.

She checked her back for an exit wound, finding nothing. That would be her luck. With her gloved fingers, she felt around the wound to see if she could get an idea of how bad it was. She breathed a sigh of relief when she realized that her guild leathers stopped the majority of the blow, the arrowhead lodging itself just barely under the skin. She sighed heavily, sitting up and bracing herself for what was to come. She would have to pull it out if she had any hope of healing herself. With her good arm, she pulled off her gloves, putting one in her mouth to bite down on. Slowly and agonizingly, she pulled the arrow out of her shoulder from the wooden shaft. She felt it tear and maim as it moved through her, but she had no choice. Stars danced along her vision, her consciousness becoming hazy and clouded as she faced what had to be the worst pain she had ever had in her life. It came out with a final tug, causing her to fall back from the force to lean against the tree again. "Ow," she exhaled, out of breath with eyes tightly shut, trying to stay conscious. She dropped the offending arrow to the ground and immediately called her grand healing spell to her hand, casting the golden aura over herself to heal as much as she could in the moment. The pain eased and the bleeding slowed, but she did not feel much better about her situation.

 _This is going to scar, isn't it? Godsdammit. Well, serves me right. I'll have a reminder of what happens when I get lost in the past like that._

As she looked down at the area in which the arrow penetrated her guild leathers, she saw that it was no longer oozing blood with every heartbeat. "Whatever, good enough for now," she mumbled inaudibly as she forced herself back up to her feet. The sudden movement caused her to wobble back and forth for a moment, forcing her to hold onto the nearby tree for stability. The head rush she got from restoration magic was usually a bit dizzying, but combined with the shock of blood loss it was almost too much to handle. Still, she knew she had to get going. One more look behind her to ensure she was not being followed and she took off, weaving through the brush towards Riften.

As she approached the city gates, she prepared the detect life spell in her palm to check one last time for any unwelcome followers. Her eyes scanned the area for any hint of golden light being produced to signify an unfriendly presence. Nothing. Satisfied that she was alone, she pushed open the large wooden doors into Riften and slowly drug herself towards the graveyard.

"Everything all right?" the guard posted at the entrance asked in his thick, Nord accent. The sudden break of silence caused Kaiya to jump in surprise before she waved him off, grumbling under her breath that she was fine. She could only imagine how frightful she looked to him, stumbling into Riften in the wee hours of the morning.

She made her way towards the secret entrance to the cistern, continuously looking over her shoulder as she walked to ensure she remained unfollowed. Just as she opened the grate to climb down the ladder, a thought struck her. Mercer. The arrow she took to the chest would not sit well with the Guildmaster, especially not after moving through the entire estate completely undetected just to be shot as she escaped. Just thinking of it that way sounded off to her. She would have to explain what happened. The thought caused a lump to form in her throat. She'd rather get shot by another arrow than have to explain her stupid flashback.

She drug herself into the cistern, sopping wet and worn. Her brain had not ceased berating her for the entire journey back to Riften and it was showing no sign of letting up now.

 _How could you lose focus like that? When will you get the fuck over it already?_

No matter how many times she tried to remind herself that the mission had been completed almost perfectly and she lived to tell the tale, it did not cause her mind to let up. At this point, Mercer yelling at her for getting herself shot would be a welcome reprieve. At least he was a tangible entity that could be reasoned with, unlike her own ghosts creeping back into her peripherals. At the very least, Mercer was real and after the events of the past few hours, she could use a little validation that she was still on Nirn.

As horrible as she felt, she couldn't stop herself from smiling once she spotted Mercer across the cistern. He wasn't alone, but she didn't care. They had said their goodbyes to each other with full awareness that she might not make it back alive and yet here she was, hobbling her way across the cistern towards him. He was surrounded by Delvin, Vex and Brynjolf, no doubt pontificating over how they believed her mission was going, although she was just surprised to see them all awake so early. They must really be worried.

Mercer stood completely still as he leaned over the ledger, eyes on the desk. His every muscle looked as if it were pulled completely taut with anxiety. Vex paced back and forth, running her hands through her short hair and staring at her boots. She could hear Delvin rambling on about seeing smoke from the direction of the meadery and Brynjolf doing complicated math to try to figure out when they should realistically expect to hear anything. Their erratic gestures betrayed their worry, causing Kaiya's smile to grow wider. Here they were, worrying like a bunch of Delvins when all they had to do was look over and they'd see that she was fine.

When she was close enough that she knew they would hear it, she cleared her throat as loud and conspicuous as she could manage. At once, all four heads snapped to look in her direction and all four of their expressions changed to relief at the same time. Delvin and Brynjolf both ran towards her in excitement, but Kaiya's eyes were fixed on her Guildmaster. He wore a smirk, the most emotion he ever let himself show around his guild. She smiled back at him, their unspoken conversation a secret only for them.

Brynjolf reached her first, picking her up by the waist in a huge Nord hug and swinging her around. "You did it lass!" As he set her down, Delvin grabbed her into a hug of his own, speaking in hushed tones into her ear. "We're glad to have you back love. He was a wreck. We all were."

As Delvin pulled back from the hug, he grabbed her shoulders which caused an involuntary yelp of pain from Kaiya. His eyes trained on the giant stain on her leathers, signaling that there had been a lot of blood. "You're hurt."

She could sense the Guildmaster stiffen at Delvin's observation, so she reacted quickly to try and dissuade their anxiety. "Psh," she waved off his worries with nonchalance, "just a flesh wound. I'm fine."

Disengaging from Delvin and his worried expression, she clumsily made her way to the Guildmaster's desk, her soaking leathers swishing and dripping with each movement. She fished around in one of her pockets and retrieved the protected purchase agreement for Goldenglow before casually tossing it onto the desk. Mercer's eyes moved to the paper on the desk and then up to her face. She hoped she didn't look like she felt, but from the reaction of the city guard earlier and the current furrowing of Mercer's brow, she knew she did. With a heavy breath to gain some composure, she spoke. "Here's your purchase agreement. The job is done."


	22. Chapter 22

_13th of Sun's Dawn 4E203_

Mercer's eyes narrowed, focusing too intently on her features for her comfort. Her eyes cast downward, not wanting to meet his glare.

"Care to enlighten us on any details, or should we just ignore the fact that you look like you just went through Oblivion?"

Kaiya forced herself to look up, trying to ignore the piercing stare of her Guildmaster. She described the mission in its entirety, how she went through the sewer, crept through the estate, stole the key directly from the elf's pocket and made her way to the basement, completely undetected. Brynjolf started celebrating a bit too soon, smacking her on the back and exclaiming "I told you she'd do it!" while Delvin and Vex kept their eyes trained on Kaiya, wanting to know the rest. She described getting the purchase agreement from the safe and making her way outside and to the hives, still unseen. She explained that she stood behind the hives, hidden from sight, waiting for the precise moment to light the hives for the most dramatic effect. This thoroughly impressed Delvin, joining Brynjolf in his premature celebration. "Aye, the girl's got style!"

Still, Kaiya did not smile or seem to be finished. Mercer's eyes had not left her face and he knew that there was something more. This wasn't like her to act so sheepish and reserved after a mission. She normally would be joining Delvin and Brynjolf in celebrating herself while Mercer yelled for her to focus and finish her story. "Go on." Mercer said, quiet and with no audible emotion. The intensity of it made Kaiya's stomach leap, but she knew she had to continue. She explained how she lit the hives, only three as directed, with her uncast flames spell. Then she paused, causing Mercer's eyes to narrow and her eyes to dart away from his.

"And then I uh… I must've taken longer than I thought lighting the damn things because uh.. they saw me. I had to flee as they chased me into the water, but no one followed me."

Mercer studied her face, her eyes darting around, finally landing back on him. She was a horrible liar.

"Is that all?"

"Y-yes. I, uh, I know I messed up the escape, but the rest of the mission went perfectly."

Mercer was silent for several moments that to Kaiya, felt like hours. Her mind was screaming at her, " _He knows! He knows I'm lying! What's with the delay?! Just yell at me already!"_

In a flat, even tone, Mercer responded. "No, if the mission had gone perfectly, you would not have been shot."

At this, Brynjolf cut into the conversation in shock, "Mercer! I think you're being a little hard on the lass, after all she - "

"No Brynjolf, he's right." She cut him off, reaching her over to place her hand on his forearm. "I appreciate what you're trying to do, but I did muck it up." She smiled softly, squeezing his arm to show her thanks.

The four thieves stared at her in silence. Was she really just going to lie down and take this? "If it makes you happy, I paid for it!" she exclaimed with a laugh that did not reach her eyes as she frantically looked around the group. She removed her hand from Brynjolf's arm and placed it on her shoulder as she tried to casually throw out one of her signature smirks. "Nothing's better than an arrow to the shoulder to teach you the consequences of moving too slow!" she laughed again, nervous and awkward. All gazes on her were a mixture of concerned and baffled, with the exception of Mercer. Mercer was angry.

"And how is that supposed to make us happy!?" he yelled, his face red and contorted with rage. He leaned further over the desk towards her, his anger quickly making up the distance and creating the illusion that he was in her face. "You realize those mercenaries were not trying to teach you a valuable lesson by shooting at you, right?! You realize they were aiming to KILL you? If you had been killed, the mission would have been a total failure since they could just take back the purchase agreement we were after off of your lifeless corpse!"

Kaiya winced at his anger, but took it in stride. This is what she wanted. This was her retribution, her redemption. She locked onto his gaze, letting it burn through her, almost palpably. She nodded, understanding. "I'm sorry, sir. I ensure you that I've learned my lesson and it won't happen again."

At this, Mercer's countenance changed completely. It was as if his anger melted. To the others, it seemed as if her honest submission had been a sufficient offering to his rage but to Kaiya, she knew better. She knew he saw right through her and that by continuing to berate her, he was playing right into what she wanted. She knew that he was aware she had been beating herself up, that was her way. She knew he was aware that his yelling was meant to stand in for what she'd been doing to herself for hours. He could not continue to give her what she wanted.

"I see." He stated, coldly. An uneasy calm came over the group at his starkly different reaction. He let out a forced exhale, his head dropping as he looked at the desk below him. Without looking up, he managed to force out a curt "you're dismissed," low and rumbling to the point of being nearly inaudible. His words, though quiet, were heavy with his disappointment, causing Kaiya's eyes to fill with tears almost immediately. She could handle his anger, but his obvious disappointment cut her like a dagger. She gave a quick nod, turned and scampered off into the shadows.

The remaining thieves were quiet, processing what had just transpired before them. It had escalated so quickly, their minds trying to catch up. Vex was the first to break the silence with a smirk, "sir? Since when does she call you sir?"

Delvin let out a laugh, "I was thinkin' the same thing! Wha' in oblivion has he done to the poor girl?"

They laughed, but the humor never reached Brynjolf and Mercer, who each stared vacantly in opposite directions. Quietly, the second in command spoke. "Mercer, I think you were too hard on her."

"Too hard on her!?" Vex yelled, clearly overhearing what was meant to be a private statement. "If anything, he went too easy on her! He was right, she mucked it up!"

Brynjolf moved swiftly to face Vex, angered by her obvious hypocrisy. "And you, you of all people, the one who didn't even make it into the estate without having to run for her life, are going to be the one to hold her accountable?"

"Whatever Bryn, you saw the same thing I just did. She threw in one teary-eyed 'sir' and - "

"ENOUGH!" Mercer bellowed, stopping their petty argument. "Vex, Delvin, go back to the Flagon. We're done here." At that, Vex shot one last scowl at a furious Brynjolf as she slowly started to slink away towards the Ragged Flagon. "Whatever" she mumbled under her breath when she was far enough away that she knew Mercer wouldn't retaliate. Delvin gave a nod and a "whatever you say, boss" before he followed behind the Imperial.

Mercer and Brynjolf stood at the desk, quiet in contemplation for what they each wanted to say. Brynjolf spoke first, not being able to stand the silence any longer. "Look Mercer, I'm sorry about what I said."

"Don't apologize to me." Mercer responded, emotionlessly. "You're my second in command for a reason. I want you to voice your opinions, but I'm standing my ground on this one."

Brynjolf, exasperated, turned to face his Guildmaster. "Mercer, you know as well as I do that the job she did was better than we could have expected from anyone else, it's not like - "

"Is that reason enough to not challenge her, Brynjolf?" Mercer interjected, turning his gaze completely onto the Nord, causing him to cease his argument and stare off at nothing in particular as he knitted his thoughts together. The corner of Mercer's mouth turned up into a knowing smirk, watching the gears shift and turn in his second in command's mind. He used the opportunity to continue making his point.

"Yes, the job was done well, better than anyone else could have done it. She could have done it better than she did though, and even she knows that. We can't allow a member of the guild with her talent to rest on her laurels, Brynjolf. You brought me a good thief when you brought her into the guild, I'll give you that, but it's my job to make her a great thief."

Brynjolf directed his attention to Mercer, obviously still confused. "Well in that case, why'd you let up on her so easily?"

Mercer laughed humorlessly. "Oh now that's rich" he barked, eyeing his companion. He let the smile fade from his face, catching onto the look of confusion on Brynjolf, understanding that the Nord was honestly trying to learn from the Guildmaster.

"I know her well, Brynjolf. She has probably been beating herself up over this since it happened. My anger was what she wanted, but she has to learn to deal with this on her own. I've never intimidated her, that I know. Her own demons are far more terrifying to her than any lecture of mine could ever be."

Brynjolf laughed, slightly abashed. "I should've known you had your reasons" he said, looking towards the floor as he rubbed the back of his neck.

Mercer grinned maniacally, acknowledging his win. "Ya damn right I did. Now how about you not forget that next time and it'll be much easier on all of us." Brynjolf laughed and just like that, the two old friends were back to normal.

"All right, well now that that's settled, you mind telling me if you know what this symbol is? I sure as oblivion haven't seen it before." Mercer pointed to an image at the top of the parchment Kaiya had returned to him, eyeing Brynjolf for any sign of recollection.

Brynjolf shrugged, "Aye, neither have I."

Mercer nodded and began to pack up. "Watch the cistern for me. I won't be gone long."

"Uh, sure, I'll watch the cistern." Brynjolf replied, somewhat perplexed. "Where ya headed?"

A disgusted look took over Mercer's features at the question. His response was only one word. "Maven's."


	23. Chapter 23

_13th of Sun's Dawn 4E203_

Kaiya scrambled away from the conversation with the other thieves, taking her leave not a moment too soon. She moved through the cistern in no particular direction, just wanting to put space between herself and her disapproving Guildmaster. Inwardly, Kaiya debated as to what she needed more, a drink or solitude. She quickly concluded that mead was a top priority, so she directed her stumbling towards the Ragged Flagon and plopped down dramatically at the end of the bar. Vekel, looking up from the glass he was wiping out, gave her a quizzical stare but said nothing.

"I need a drink," was all Kaiya managed to get out. Vekel moved swiftly to appease the obviously upset thief, placing a bottle in front of her. Before he could pick his glass back up to continue wiping it out, Kaiya slammed the empty bottle onto the bar and asked for another. He kept his eyes on her as he reached for another bottle, trying to figure out what was behind the insatiable need for mead.

"You just got back from Goldenglow. That bad, huh?" he questioned as he handed her the second bottle.

Kaiya grumbled unintelligibly at first, finally settling on giving Vekel the cryptic answer of "No. Yes. I don't know, Vekel." She stared down at her bottle, apparently assuming that the answer she gave would suffice.

Vekel stared at her, unamused. "Kaiya, you're going to have to give me more than poetry on this one. I don't speak bard."

This caused the edges of Kaiya's mouth to turn up a bit into a small smile. She looked from her bottle to him, seeing the look of utter confusion plastered onto his face. She let out a small laugh, then groaned, leaning her head back to look at the ceiling before making eye contact with Vekel again.

"I don't know Vekel. I'm mad at myself, OK? I totally botched the escape. The beautiful, well orchestrated grand finale that I had in my head" she started waving her arms around, holding the bottle in one hand, trying to demonstrate the scale of which she saw this mission in her dramatic body language. "Nope!" she slammed her hands and the bottle back onto the counter, causing Vekel to jump a bit at the sound. "I ruined it, Veks. It was right there, all I had to do was finish it, and I decided 'ya know what's better? Just shitting all over it'" she shrugged and laughed, bringing the bottle to her mouth for a long sip. She looked back at Vekel, whose expression had not changed.

Remaining stoic, he responded to her story, "I feel the need to remind you that this is the Thieves Guild, Kaiya. If you want the Bard's College in order to act out your 'grand finales,' you're going to have to go to Solitude."

Kaiya eyed the bartender who stared back at her with a smug grin. Her lips curled menacingly into a smile. "Ya know Vekel, you really are an irritating ass sometimes."

Vekel laughed, "Well some ladies are kind enough to interpret it as charm."

Kaiya rolled her eyes dramatically and groaned. "Oh, charm is it? Please."

"Well I got you to smile, so you have to give me credit for that." His gaze was pinned on her, smirk firmly planted on his face with the taste of victory close at hand.

Kaiya let out a small laugh and shrugged, "fine, Vekel THE MAN," she said, scoffing at his self given title. "You're an irritating, charming ass, but an ass all the same."

He laughed, picking back up his glass that he'd been wiping out for far too long before returning his focus back to the thief. "So are you going to tell me what happened or not, Kai?"

Kaiya stared at her half empty bottle, deciding to finish it all in one massive gulp. "Get me another mead and I'll tell you."

Vekel nodded towards her, directing her attention to the fresh mead he had placed in front of her in anticipation of her request. She laughed, "you know me too well."

With that, she began to tell him the story, much easier now that she had a few bottles of mead under her belt.

"All right, well it started off great. I was like a shadow Veks, a fuckin' stealthy wraith." She began waving her arms around again, adding her personal dramatic flair to the sloppy telling she was presenting. "No one saw me or even heard a creak. I was slinkin' around, my back to walls where the mercs were right on the other side, none the wiser."

She paused, taking a long sip from her mead bottle, before continuing. "It was awesome Veks. I snuck into the elf's bedroom and pulled the key right out of his pocket while he just sat there and I even stole a weird, golden bee sculpture from his room right under his nose."

Seemingly getting too caught up in her own story, her face lit up at the reminder of the bee sculpture. "That reminds me, I should see if Delvin will buy that thing…" she started to push herself up from the bar before Vekel reached over and put his hand over hers, stopping her before she ran off on her distraction. "Finish your story, Kai."

"Oh, right." She sat back onto the stool, looked at her bottle once more to gain her concentration and picked up right back where she had left off. "So everything was going according to plan, right? I snuck down the stairs towards the basement, using my invisibility spell to get past the dimwits down there and all of a sudden, there it was. The infamous safe!"

She held her hands up to the sky as if praising the gods for putting the safe exactly where it should have been. Vekel chuckled to himself at her dramatic retelling. She always was an entertaining one when telling the guild of her heists. Well, if she had a few bottles of mead in her anyway.

She continued, leaning over the bar to add suspense. "I broke into the safe, took out the contents and made my way back through the sewers to the surface. I was almost done, just had to light the damn hives."

At this, she paused, staring wistfully at her bottle of mead, now sitting untouched on the bar. After a few moments, Vekel broke her concentration with a loud clearing of his throat. "Oh, sorry." Her head popped back up, alert.

"I snuck over to the hives and was ready to light them when I thought, 'hey I should wait until sunrise so all of the Rift will know that Goldenglow just got theirs' so I stood there, waiting." She checked to see if Vekel had the appropriate reaction before continuing.

"As soon as the sky lightened and I knew the hold would be waking up any minute, I decided to make my move. One hive, then two, then three," she counted on her fingers to Vekel, leaning against the bar as she stood on the rungs of the barstool.

"But that's when I messed up, Veks. I hesitated. I took too long. The fire must've been too loud or I must've been less stealthy than I thought because before I knew it, BLAM!" she used her right hand to act out an explosion hitting her in her wounded chest. "Arrow right to the shoulder," she said as she plopped unceremoniously back into the barstool.

Vekel's eyebrows shot up with concern, "Are you OK? Shit Kai, you could have been killed!"

She nonchalantly waved off his concern with her hand as she took a sip from her mead bottle. "Psh, nah I'm fine. I took care of it. Plus, Mercer already made it perfectly clear that me being killed would have just been a failure of the mission anyway."

Vekel caught the sadness in her voice at the mention of what Mercer had said and narrowed his eyes at her while she stared at her bottle again. "You know he didn't mean that, Kai," he said as he waited for her to look up. When she didn't, he reached across the bar and lifted her chin to force her to make eye contact with him. "Kai, come on. You know better than to think that."

Her eyes closed as she fought off the rise of more traitorous tears, Vekel's hand leaving her face and her chin dropping back down. "I know Veks, it's just that, I don't like disappointing him, ya know?"

Vekel nodded knowingly, but decided to encourage her to finish the story to distract her from this sore subject. "Soooo…." he said, moving his hand in a circle to get her to keep going.

She looked up, still somewhat dazed. "Soooo... what? That was it Veks. I ran away and escaped. Luckily, they didn't follow me. Like I said though, it was all perfect until the end."

They were quiet for a moment before he decided to ask her what might have been a dangerous question. "What did Mercer say?"

At the mention of his name, Kaiya teared up again and looked down. She groaned, trying to stave off any type of emotional outbreak and play it off as she usually did. "He was disappointed Veks," she said, still looking down. "He knew as well as I did that I could have done better. He was mad, furious even, but not furious enough."

"Care to explain what you mean by 'not furious enough?'" Vex interjected, having walked into the Flagon just in time to hear Kaiya speak that last confession. Delvin was visible behind Vex, trying to pull her back, speaking quietly with a "come on Vex, not now." Vex shrugged Delvin off and faced Kaiya at the bar, persistent in her questioning.

"No Delvin, I want to hear this. I want to know what type of masochist would wish for Mercer to be more furious. I'm intrigued." she sat down next to Kaiya at the bar, all of her attention still facing the embattled thief.

Kaiya laughed quietly and took another long sip from her bottle, finishing it off. She looked at Vekel and nodded. The bartender, having understood the unspoken request, grabbed another mead and placed it on the bar.

"I know how he is, that's all," Kaiya started, quietly. "If he lets it all out, then it's over. We go our separate ways and it's understood that I'll never do that again. But when he leaves it open like that…" Kaiya took a quick sip, still looking down. "When he leaves it unfinished like that, it'll just come back later in another form. Either I'll be taken off jobs or he'll put me on some contrived probation period like I'm a damn child." Her voice started to rise as she vented out her frustrations, attention finally turning to face Vex sitting next to her, still looking at her with nothing more than a blank stare. "Don't get me wrong Vex, I would not blame him if he did any of those things, but I was hoping it'd be over by now. It's not."

Vex sat quietly, rolling Kaiya's words around in her head. It was a more thought out theory than she expected and so she was unsure of how to respond. Her eyes narrowed at the thief next to her, undoubtedly settling on the direction she wished to take the conversation. Before she could speak, Delvin cut in, having been listening to it from a few steps behind.

"Kai, you've got to cut yourself a break, love" he said as he walked over to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. "I get that you have high expectations for yourself, but this is just unhealthy."

Kaiya's eyes darted around from Vekel to Vex to Delvin, all three seemingly in agreeance at Delvin's words. "I know," she said with a heavy sigh. "I know in my head that everything is fine it's just…" she anxiously looked around, trying to put her feelings into words. "It's just that I can't shake the feeling right now, ya know?"

The conversation fell silent for a moment before it was broken by Vex. "Damn you're dramatic, Kaiya. Lighten up, you're alive. We got what we needed. The guild lives to see another day. Mercer will get over it, he always does. There's no need for you to martyr yourself. It's a bit much."

Vekel and Delvin froze, knowing that Vex's words were harsher than needed in what seemed to be a very vulnerable moment for Kaiya, but she just stared back at Vex blankly. The silence grew awkward, then tense. Just before Delvin was about to run for cover, Kaiya's face slowly started to morph into a smile and that smile into a grin. Suddenly, laughter burst out of Kaiya as her whole body shook with the force. While Vekel and Delvin were confused, Vex smiled. She knew some tough love would snap Kaiya out of it.

When she was finally able to breathe enough to speak, Kaiya cackled out "oh sweet Sithis, I am being so dramatic! Oh dear gods what was I doing?"

She continued to laugh, slowly calming back down to normal and wiping tears from her face as she looked at Vex. She placed one hand on the Imperial's shoulder and squeezed. "Thanks Vex, I needed that." Her attention then went to the two men, scowling at both of them, "don't let me do that again guys! Smack me if you have to, shit! Whatever it takes! The last thing I want to become is some dramatic, woeful bar wench!" At this they all laughed and Vekel served the other two thieves a mead so they could clink glasses and cheers to the end of the Goldenglow job once and for all.

The day carried on as normal and flowed into the night, the thieves drinking and telling of their latest heists. Kaiya was glad to be smiling again but in the back of her mind, she knew there was more to the story than what she had told the rest. She may seem dramatic to them, so she was glad that Vex shut her up, but the reality of the situation was that she was terrified. She had no control over what happened to her back at the hives. _What if it happened again? What if it happened on a bigger job? What if it got her killed?_ The thoughts ate at the edge of her thoughts, creeping into focus in quieter moments, only for Kaiya to distract herself from them by one more mead. One more story. One more conversation. She hadn't slept for far too long and while all she wanted was to find a bed and pass out into it, she was too afraid of being alone with her own thoughts to do so. Luckily for her, she ended up drinking herself into oblivion, once again, to have Delvin carry her to an empty bed and dump her into it. She would sleep, but her demons would be there for her again as soon as her eyes opened the next morning.


	24. Chapter 24

_13th of Sun's Dawn 4E203_

Mercer returned to the cistern much later than he had anticipated. He was exhausted, his meetings with Maven draining him more than he cared to admit. He was eagerly moving past their last encounter, happy to return to the quiet peacefulness he found in the cistern. Brynjolf was sitting in a chair he had pulled up to the desk, seemingly dozing in and out of sleep. With a swift kick to the legs of the chair, Brynjolf shot up, alert.

"What's wrong? What's going on? I'm up!" he exclaimed, trying to make sense of what was happening.

Mercer just chuckled to himself at the sight. "Go to bed, Brynjolf. I can take it from here."

The Nord looked to Mercer to see if he was upset, only to find a look of amusement plastered on the Breton's face. "I won't fight you on that one, Mercer. We'll talk in the morning." He wandered off, running into a few pieces of furniture here and there as he made his way through the cistern and to his bed. Mercer watched with amusement, laughing to himself at his second in command's clumsiness.

Once Brynjolf was out of sight and hopefully in a bed somewhere, Mercer focused his attention back to the ledger. He was so tired, but there was still work to be done. He pulled up the chair Brynjolf had been sitting in and fell into it himself, sighing heavily at the relief it provided. He sat up and leaned over the desk, trying to concentrate on the jumble of numbers in front of him.

Suddenly, the sound of a scream jerked him awake and he stood with a start. He must have fallen asleep while looking over the ledger. He silently berated himself for his error, while making his way through the dark towards where he thought he heard the sound. As he approached some of the guild members' beds, he saw movement and froze. His eyes struggled to adjust to the darkness, trying to make sense out of the moving shapes before him. Someone was getting out of bed, putting on boots. It seemed so casual, so normal, but he knew he had heard a scream, so instead of putting himself to bed and chalking this event up to overexertion, he decided to wait a bit longer to ensure everything was as it should be. The shape stood up, moving away from where Mercer stood and towards the training room while Mercer crept a few paces behind in the shadows. As he watched the way the shadow moved before him, the sway of hips and the graceful weaving between obstacles, he was left with little doubt as to who this late night prowler was. Kaiya.

* * *

" _Oh no," she thinks, as she approaches the blazing door of the open sanctuary. A sword slashes her back and she turns to face an onslaught of guards with the help of a black, immortal stallion with red eyes. A soldier falls before her, coming to his end with a slice across his throat from her dagger. She runs inside, past the corpses of the fallen guards and through the the hallway that led to a large opening. Fire is everywhere, the smoke clouding her vision and causing her eyes to water. The smell is overwhelming, assaulting her senses. Where is he? She spots the werewolf, fighting for his life and falling with an arrow to the back. She feels the spectral assassin move past her to take on a soldier, one powerful strike sending the ethereal form back to the void. Clashing swords, a redguard fighting at the top of stairs in his Alik'r armor. Where is he? An open casket. Darkness. There's a burnt body, lying in a circle of candles and surrounded by nightshade. A long blade is in her hands and she hears a soft "thank you." Where is he? Suddenly she is back outside, blood covering her face and hands, the smell of copper and ash seeping into her pores. The smoke clears and she finally sees him, a statue immortalizing this tragedy forever. His arms are covering his face, shielding him from harm, but he could not save himself. His entire body is as lifeless as is it motionless, pinned by arrows to the trunk of a tree, the only living witness to have seen his last moments._

She screamed herself awake, thrashing wildly against the furs holding her captive. _Where is he!?_ Realization then hit her like a battering ram. There was no crisis, at least not anymore. She was dreaming of it again. _Breathe, Kaiya. Breathe._

Her heart began to take on a slower rhythm while she laid there, motionless and concentrating only on inhaling and exhaling. The cool, damp air seemed to attach itself to her face, forcing her to dry the path her tears had made while she dreamed. She slowly became conscious of where she was as her eyes adjusted to the darkness around her. _I am in the cistern. I am safe. I am not alone._

Although she was able to calm herself down, she knew going back to sleep was out of the question. She sat up, immediately wincing at the painful pounding in her head. _Great Kai, had to go and drink yourself stupid again,_ she thought as she slowly stretched out her aching muscles.

She was still wearing her guild leathers and they smelled horrible, reeking of damp lake water. She unclasped the armor, peeling it off of her and tossing it to the bed. She was left in a tunic and her guild pants, but that would have to do. She couldn't run around without pants on, after all. She dug in her pockets for a frost merriam leaf to chew on to get the awful taste out of her mouth. She found one. It was wet, but it would do the trick.

She bent over and pulled her now dry boots onto her feet, her shoulder aching from the effort. She winced, rolling her shoulder in circles to bring some needed relief as she stood and stretched one last time. She reached over and grabbed her sword and dagger from under the bed, placing them in their sheaths along her belt.

Silently, she made her way through the cistern, thankful that it was relatively empty at the moment. She weaved in between beds and dressers, moving gracefully through the path that was now very well known to her into the training room. This room was always her refuge, a place she could go when the ghosts of her past wanted to rehash old memories against her will. The pathetic looking dummy had taken quite a few hits from Kaiya as she tried to fight the unfightable, cursing and screaming as she stabbed, hoping to vicariously strike pain into what plagued her.

She stepped up to the dummy yet again, preparing herself and unsheathing her sword and dagger. She started out slow, letting her body warm up to the familiar dance, but her stubborn muscles were fighting her. Her shoulder hurt and her head was pounding. Still, she pressed on, knowing that the only way to quiet her mind was through her strange ritual.

She became frustrated with herself as her blows were not hitting their marks as they should and her stamina felt winded. She found herself getting angry, first at her clumsy footwork, then at her screaming shoulder.

With every surge of pain her shoulder reminded her of what had happened the day before. With every wince, she remembered the way she stood there, staring into the fire like a moth to a candle. Her fighting became more erratic, her blows passionately trying to harm the straw man before her. Her mind wandered off into its familiar self loathing as she assaulted the emotionless face of the dummy, causing her to hit harder. Faster.

 _Why can't I shake this? Why can't I stop thinking about that godsdamned sanctuary and that ornery old man!? Out of everything I've been through, why must this memory stick? Why must I let that traitorous bitch continue to ruin me?! I lived! I should be happy! Successful!_

 _WHY AM I BROKEN!?_

She roared, slashing both dagger and sword at the throat of the dummy. Her gaze intensified on the dummy's chest, wanting to make it feel as bad as she did. She dropped her sword and took the dagger to the chest of the straw man, stabbing it in his nonexistent heart over and over as the tears poured down her face.

When her energy waned, she stayed leaning against the straw, one hand behind the makeshift neck as she grinded her teeth together in hatred towards the inanimate object before her. Then as suddenly as her ambush started, it stopped, her dagger clanging on the stone as she dropped to the floor.

She pushed herself against the wall, elbows on her knees and head in her hands as she finally let herself break. She felt as if she could not cry hard enough to get the tears out of her head. She wanted it out, all of it. She wanted to be numb. She wanted to return to the way she was before, jaded and cold, not haphazardly holding the pieces of herself together.


	25. Chapter 25

_13th of Sun's Dawn 4E203_

She was not sure how long she had been sitting against that wall before she felt the presence of someone else in the room. _Had it been minutes? Hours?_ Her crying had stopped but she remained sitting there, motionless, for what felt like a lifetime. She didn't have to look up to know exactly who stood in the doorway and with a hoarse, frayed voice, she acknowledged him.

"I'm not in the mood to have you correct my footwork, Mercer."

The sudden presence of words in what had been immeasurably long silence was jarring. He quickly regained his composure in order to answer the thief, seeing no need to act as if he had not been there for the whole ordeal. "I'm not here to correct your footwork."

At this Kaiya's head shot up, glaring across the room at her Guildmaster who had still yet to move from his position in the doorway. Her face was stained with tears, pale streaks cutting across the dirt that had been there since at least the previous morning. Her blonde hair was wild around her face and her eyes were bloodshot, obvious even as she narrowed them in Mercer's direction. "Then why are you here?"

"I heard a scream, footsteps and then a clashing of weapons. I thought you were fighting," he paused, giving her a smirk, "you know, for real."

Kaiya looked down at her hands before answering, "No, just my demons again."

Mercer did not answer, but instead slowly made his way over to the wall in which Kaiya sat. He joined her on the floor, letting himself slide down the wall to end up next to her, one leg out straight while a hand rested on his bent knee. They both looked forward, not at each other, neither ready to be the first to introduce a level of intimacy into their sudden closeness in proximity. They sat that way for a few quiet moments before Mercer spoke. "Well, were you winning?"

Kaiya laughed softly, her head still down with her chin against her chest. "I think I may have scared them a little this time," she said, a smile evident in her voice.

"Good," was Mercer's reply. "They need a little scare every now and then to remind them who's boss."

Kaiya laughed humorlessly, picking her head up to lean it back against the wall, eyes focused on the ceiling. "Right. Remind me who's boss again?"

Mercer smiled, leaning his head against the wall to match her posture. "Me."

This brought out a genuine smile on Kaiya's face which did not go unnoticed by the Guildmaster as he rolled his head to the side to look at her over his shoulder. She did the same, having to look up to make eye contact.

"You're tall and it hurts my neck," she said as she dramatically adjusted her position to be able to look him in the eye more comfortably. He laughed, looking down at her while she squirmed in discomfort.

"I'm not tall, Kaiya. You're just a tiny Breton."

Kaiya looked up at him with mock offense, "who you callin' breton, BRETON?"

They each laughed at this, successfully breaking the tension that had been palpable in the room prior. She let her legs slide down to sit straight out in front of her, crossing them at the ankles, her hands resting in her lap. Mercer did the same, crossing his ankles in front of him. Kaiya stared at their feet, transfixed by the comparison in size of their guild boots. He may not be a large man compared to most Nords, but he still dwarfed her. He was right, she was a tiny Breton. She felt herself relax in his presence, his overall aura projecting the stability she had grown so accustomed to when he was around. While she was cracking and breaking, here he was, a stone pillar. She smiled at the thought, appreciating her Guildmaster for the anchor he was not just to her, but to all of the guild.

Mercer watched as she stared at their feet, obviously chasing some thought around in her head, occasionally smiling at whatever it was. He appreciated moments like this with Kaiya, where words were not needed in order to fill a silence. They could just be. He knew it couldn't last for long however, as he had to talk to her about what was going on. She could not expect that he not ask about it, right?

He was surprised when she started speaking first, breaking out of her silent reverie. "I'm sorry I disappointed you, Mercer," was all she said, her gaze fixed back onto her hands in her lap. He sighed heavily, not knowing how to respond.

"Kaiya," he started, "you don't have to tell me details if you don't want to. All of us have pasts we don't necessarily want to talk about, that's why we're here. I won't pry into your business, but I need to you to tell me what's going on."

Kaiya's focus remained on her hands while she pondered his words. She knew this was coming, so she wasn't surprised. She wasn't even nervous. There was just something about Mercer when it was just the two of them that put her anxieties at ease, even facing a discussion about her mental breakdown he just witnessed.

"I wasn't always like this, ya know" she said, surprising Mercer at the turn in direction of the conversation. There was a long pause and the room fell silent once again, both gazing off.

"Do you really need me to ask you to keep going, or was that all you were going to say?" he said, brows furrowed in annoyance at her lack of communication.

She looked up at him with a small smile on her face, leaning in to knock his shoulder playfully with hers. "No that's not all I was going to say, you ass" she laughed, "I was just thinking about how to explain it."

He stared down at her, seemingly unamused. "Well, get to it. I've got a meeting in three days I'll need to be on time for." She smiled and playfully jabbed her elbow at his ribs. "Fine, here goes nothing."

She took a deep breath, readying her nerves. "Something happened about a year ago, something I'm not ready to talk about." Her eyes moved to meet his, silently pleading for him not to ask. He nodded, encouraging her to continue. "Well, this thing that happened, it's not leaving me alone. It's not a person or a threat to me or anything, just memories. They show up at the worst times, like when I'm trying to sleep," she paused, steeling her resolve, "or when I'm trying to light beehives on fire."

His brows knit together, trying to make sense out of what she just said. "Explain."

She exhaled forcefully, looking down then back up to meet his gaze. "That's what happened yesterday, Mercer. I didn't take too long like some clumsy novice, I was frozen in place while my mind relived the … thing… that happened."

"And this was brought on by the fire?" he asked, not giving any of his thoughts away in his expression.

She looked back down to her hands. "Yes."

"And you were brought back to reality by the arrow in your shoulder, I'm guessing."

"Yes, which still hurts like oblivion, by the way."

"Let me see it" he said, directing his focus to her left shoulder.

"What? Now? I thought you wanted to hear what happened."

"I do, but right now this takes priority. We'll get back to it, believe me." His face showed no signs of playfulness. He was serious.

She pulled down the sleeve of her tunic, revealing her bare shoulder. Turning to face him, she tucked her knees under her while Mercer put a leg on either side of her small frame to get close enough to inspect her wound. It was a ghastly sight, purple and swollen, the wound hastily healing over due to her restoration magic, but leaving a web of scar tissue in its wake.

"This looks like shit, Kaiya" he said as his eyes scanned the area.

She laughed, embarrassed. "I know, I didn't take the time to heal it properly on the road. It was a quick patch job."

His hands roamed over her skin, pressing here or there to watch her reaction. She winced with a few of his pokes, more as he moved closer to the wound itself. She was very aware of the feeling of his hands on her, trying not to let her mind roam as his hands did.

"You're blushing" he stated, as if telling her an obvious fact. She didn't look away.

"Yeah well," she said, so softly he almost missed it. "You're touching me, what do you expect?"

"Do I really affect you that much?" He let out a quiet chuckle, eyes still fixated on her wound as he examined her injury.

"Hush," she joked, her blush deepening at his teasing. "And are you saying that if I reached over and touched you right now there wouldn't be a physical reaction?" She jokingly reached towards him as he swatted her hand away.

"Would you really take advantage of your Guildmaster while he inspects your wounds like that?"

"Uh yes," she stated flatly, her eyes on his face as he continued to concentrate on her wound. "My name is Kaiya by the way, have we met?"

He chuckled in response before the room fell silent. His face became serious, causing Kaiya to brace for whatever came next.

"Why haven't you healed yourself better than this, Kai?" His eyes moved to lock onto hers as he spoke. "You're capable."

"Why do I feel like you're asking me a question you already know the answer to?" she asked, sheepishly as her eyes darted away from his steel gaze.

"Because I want you to say it out loud so you hear how dumb it sounds."

She shot her focus back up to meet his, surprised at his brutal honesty. "Well I uh.." she started, not wanting to continue. She felt her eyes slowly move away from focusing on his face, causing him to lift her chin to look at him once more. He was serious about this.

"I thought if I let it keep hurting then it could serve as my punishment." She felt tears cloud her eyes as she said it out loud. He was right, it did sound dumb.

"Punishment for what, exactly?"

"Punishment for letting myself get distracted."

"Mmhmm," he nodded. "Just as I thought. You realize that's the stupidest thing you've ever said, right?"

"Hey we haven't known each other that long," she joked, trying to break the tension. "I've said a lot of dumb things."

She was met by Mercer's signature scowl as a response. "Heal yourself," he commanded. "Now."

He let go of her face as she looked down, concentrating on preparing her grand healing spell. She cast it, shivering as the golden tendrils cascaded around the mangled flesh. As it dissipated, she was slightly embarrassed as she saw that the wound looked much better than it had before. It was really that easy and he knew it.

She moved her arm around, testing the limits of her newly healed shoulder. "Thank you Mercer," she said, smiling up at him. "You're right, I was being dumb."

Mercer nodded in agreement. "Well you'll still have some scarring to remind you of it, so don't worry." A smirk took over his expression as he continued, "but at least it doesn't look as bad as it did." They stayed that way for a moment longer before Mercer removed himself from the rather intimate arrangement, leaning his back against the wall as it was before. Kaiya followed his lead, situating herself next to him, both looking forward.

"So," Mercer began, bringing them back to the topic at hand, "about Goldenglow. You're saying you had no control over what happened?"

Kaiya frowned, recognizing whatever brief reprieve had been brought on by their healing session was now over. "Yes, that's what I'm saying. It's happened once or twice before, but never in a situation like that. It's like, my brain is taken over and someone else is controlling it. At first I thought I might be dealing with some machinations of Vaermina since I royally pissed her off a while back, but she hands out nightmares and takes memories, not the other way around."

"When did you piss off Vaermina?" Mercer asked, startled. "Wait, no. I don't want to know. That's a story for another time." He paused, trying get the conversation back to the topic at hand. "Why didn't you tell me this before?"

Kaiya looked at him, surprised he would ask such an obvious question. "Before? Before as in at your desk in the cistern, surrounded by three other guild members?"

Mercer did not flinch. "Yes, before as in when you told me a fabricated story instead of the truth."

" _Walked right into that one, Kai"_ she thought, mentally smacking herself for her short sightedness. Still, she wasn't going to let him back her into a corner on this one.

"Come on Mercer, you know good and damn well why I didn't tell you. The thoughts that you have running through your head right now, that's why. The inevitable fall out" she became more animated as she ranted, her hands moving up and down with exasperation. "This isn't a mistake you can reprimand me for and send me on my way. This is a catastrophe waiting to happen. I'm a godsdamned pressure plate, waiting to explode at the first step. You're rearranging the jobs in your head right now I bet, trying to decide which ones are safe enough for the crazy girl to do." Her speech became faster and more erratic, stumbling over words.

Before she could continue, Mercer interrupted her rant by facing her, obviously angry at her reasoning. "And who gave you the authority to keep the truth from your Guildmaster based on assumptions of what he's thinking, Kaiya?" his voice boomed through the training room, but the full force of his words hit her square in the chest. "I don't care what you think I'm going to do, you have a responsibility to report to me honestly, understand?"

Kaiya cowered at his onslaught of anger, once again upset at herself for not anticipating his reaction. How could she have convinced herself that he would understand her lying to him? She knew him better than this by now. She could tell him she murdered his mother and he would just nod, but if he found out some other way, a way that involved her not telling him herself, she was in trouble.

Her thoughts must have been all over her expression because he seemed to know what she would say before she said it. His scowl softened a bit, realizing she saw the error of her ways.

"You're right Mercer." The apology had already been understood, but she owed it to him to say it out loud. "Another dumb Kaiya move, I guess."

Mercer stayed quiet for a moment. Kaiya could practically see the thoughts racing around in his head, but he showed nothing on his face. When she felt like she would burst, he finally spoke, his eyes forward. "I need you to know why I'm being so hard on you, Kaiya."

Well that's not what she expected him to say. She thought she knew why he was hard on her. He needed to challenge her, to keep her honest. Not many people were capable of challenging Kaiya the way he could, and it was his responsibility to do so. There was also an inkling of suspicion that he reacted the way he did because she had scared him, and that made the butterflies in her stomach flutter around a bit. What a softie.

He took her silence and awkward smile as a cue to continue. "I have a feeling that this won't be the last nearly impossible mission that Maven wants to send you on."

The blow hit her square in the chest. She had almost forgotten all about Maven. Of course this wouldn't be the last job like this. Why would she assume that after Goldenglow it would be smooth sailing? A familiar, Maven-sized pit formed in her stomach at the realization.

"Well," she sighed heavily in response, the truth of it all crashing around her. "That's some bullshit."

Looking over at Mercer as she spoke, she noticed he still stared forward, obviously deep in the trenches of his own worry. She snapped out of her spiraling thoughts at the realization that Mercer probably needed her to say more than that. He was confiding in her as an explanation, yes, but there was also his need for her to calm his nerves. She knew that.

"Well Mercer," she joked. "If she's going to kill me then she'll have to try harder than all the others who have tried in the past, so I'm not going to let it get to me." She smiled up at him as she reached over and grabbed his hand in his lap, squeezing his fingers in hers.

"Tell that to your secret flashbacks." he said coldly, snatching his hand out of hers.

And with that, the calm she had been able to put over the room was gone, a look of panic taking over her features. She gulped, trying to swallow back down the nervousness that sat in her throat. He was panicking too, she realized. He had confidence in her, but if she kept having these flashbacks then neither of them could feel great about her making it through another mission alive. He was also obviously still angry that she hadn't told him about it sooner.

"Look, Mercer, you are right about the way I handled this, okay? I shouldn't have lied to you, I know that. I just hope that you understand that this is something that's scaring the shit out of me, so I'm struggling with the best way to deal with it."

He nodded, considering her response. "Fair enough, but I need your honesty. If you need to tell me in private, then say you need to tell me in private. Now that you've told me what is going on with you, we can figure out how to solve it. Let's not overcomplicate things, Kaiya."

He always found a way to do this, to make everything seem so simple. She couldn't help but feel a nagging at the back of her mind however at how he seemed to still be upset. If it was all this simple, why was he still angry?

"While we're being honest with each other," he said, sternly, "there's something I should tell you."

 _Uh oh._ Yep, he was definitely still mad. Before she could ask, he hit her with the final blow, effectively knocking the breath out of her nervous stomach.

"I know about what happened with the Dark Brotherhood, Kaiya."


	26. Chapter 26

_13th of Sun's Dawn 4E203_

"I told you I didn't want to talk about it, Mercer." Her voice was cold, her fingers grasping at the ring around her neck in an attempt to tame the erratic beating of her heart.

"Yeah, you mentioned that," he scoffed, her response not ending this conversation as she would have hoped. "And that's all well and good when you're out on your own as some rogue, but you're a part of a guild now Kaiya. A guild that almost had one of its most important missions thwarted by the consequences of your secrets." His voice grew louder, angrier.

"Hey!" she retorted, her volume now matching his. "It was a surprise to me too, okay? If I had thought for a minute that it still affected me that much I would have…"

"You would have what, Kaiya? Told me?" he laughed humorlessly, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "That's bullshit and you know it. You said yourself that you wouldn't want me to know out of fear I'd keep you off certain jobs."

She stood in haste, hoping that her increased height would give her leverage in the conversation. He stood to match her, preventing any advantage she tried to gain by towering over her.

"This is as personal as it gets, Mercer!" tears filled her eyes, streaming out the corners. "We're talking about MY past now! MY memories! MY demons!"

"And who told you that you had to deal with them alone!?" He grabbed her shoulders, forcing her to look at him.

"What?!" she screeched, her pitch growing higher. "Mercer, they're MY problems! Who the fuck else is going to deal with them if not me?"

"That's what you're not getting, Kaiya! You've gone through everything in your life alone because you think that makes you stronger but it doesn't! Let someone in, for divine's sake!"

She didn't respond, her eyes growing wide as his meaning hit her. He took her silence as an opportunity to continue, his voice less angry but still booming.

"You try to control everything around you and for what? To protect others? You asked me yourself not to do that to you so why do you feel you have the right to do it to us?"

Shocked silence.

He continued, his voice now considerably softer than it was moments before, his eyes looking down at her feet as he continued to grip her shoulders.

"I've been waiting for you to tell me yourself, you know. But you never did."

If Kaiya thought she was surprised at his tirade before, his last statement left her bewildered. _He was hurt._ He was hurt that she hadn't confided in him. He wanted to help her.

Something inside her snapped, the last pillar of the last wall holding her heart captive. The feeling caused her heart to overflow with thousands of emotions at once, tears flooding down her face in an effort to make room inside her so that she could keep breathing.

She buried her face in Mercer's chest, her hands grasping at him for stability. His arms wrapped around her, holding her to him in a grip so tight she thought she'd suffocate, but she prayed he wouldn't let her loose. He was the one holding her together.

"I'm so sorry," she repeated over and over into his shirt as she soaked it with her tears. "I'm so sorry."

"Shh, hey" his voice was all softness now, his hands rubbing her back. "Don't apologize. There's no need for that. I just wanted you to know you weren't in this alone okay? You have an entire family out in the cistern now. You're not by yourself anymore."

If it was possible, she gripped him tighter, her eyes squeezing shut as wave after wave of emotion came pouring out. Of all the people she had encountered in her travels, he was the only one that seemed to finally understand her only fear. She could face all of Skyrim's dragons and deathlords, and the only thing that ever scared her was being alone. And here was Mercer, the one person who finally made her feel like she belonged. The one who told her that she wasn't alone anymore.

His hands moved to grip her hips, tight enough that she knew there would be bruises later. She pulled back enough to look up at his face, but the expression he wore was not what she expected. His jaw was tense, his focus locked onto something not on this plane. He seemed to be battling himself, a war inside his head. It was this expression that caused her to realize he hadn't said he was here for her. He said she had a family in the cistern. Not him.

"What about you?" Her voice was so quiet he almost didn't hear her.

His focus trained on her, the intensity of it causing her legs to quiver. The gentleness he held moments before was now gone, a pained armor in its place. "What about me?" The question was not for clarification as it was knowing, asking of her expectations more than her meaning.

"You said I had a family here, but what about you? What do I have with you?"

She was finally asking the question that had lingered between them for months, bringing it out into the open. She would force him to tell her what she was to him. She needed to know.

"I'm a part of that family," he answered, his voice much more reserved. "As much as I am for any other guild member."

Although his words weren't exactly unexpected, they cut her worse than any dagger. She was just another member of the guild to him. He had said as much. Whether she didn't believe him or didn't want to believe him, she was unsure, but his answer was not enough.

"Is that it?" Her expression now matched his, reserved and sharp.

His eyes softened for a brief moment before returning to their resolve. "You know I can't." He answered her unasked question, avoiding the one she had said out loud. There was no more need to pretend he didn't know what she wanted to hear.

"You can't what?" Once again, she would force him to say it out loud.

"Give you what you want." His steel resolve wavered, but not in the way she hoped. His anger came back to the surface, his brows casting shadows along the lines of his face that took the green out of his eyes. They were now a more fitting color for his mood. Black as shadow. "I don't know what you think this is," he spat, his hand waving a finger back and forth between them to indicate he meant their relationship, "but I'm your Guildmaster. That's all that matters."

Kaiya let out an annoyed laugh at his sudden change of demeanor, anger boiling up in her to match his. "Well thank you for the clarification because up until now that wasn't exactly clear."

His only response was a tightening of his jaw as his hands fell from her hips to hang by his sides.

She let out another laugh at his response, her anger fully in focus now. "Why the sudden wall, Mercer? You weren't holding yourself back before."

The hands that hung by his sides clenched into fists at her accusation. "You don't think I have been holding myself back?" He laughed a humorless laugh, running one hand through his hair in frustration. "Divines Kaiya, if I wasn't holding myself back this would be a much different conversation."

"How so?" she pushed, placing her hands on her hips.

His gaze focused in on hers, the intensity causing her to swallow the lump it created in her throat. "As in we wouldn't be talking at all." He leaned forward so that his eyes were level with hers, the intensity of his gaze making up the distance between them. "I'd be taking you against my front door because I wouldn't be able to wait to get you to the bedroom."

Against her will, her cheeks reddened under the blunt licentious words that hung between them. She couldn't bring herself to understand how he could say she was just like everyone else to him and then turn around moments later to say something like that.

"Oh and I suppose speaking to me like that should remind me I'm no different than any other member of this guild?" An awkward laugh escaped her lips as she ran a shaky hand through her hair. "It's obvious you want more, Mercer."

"Want more?!" he barked, "I don't think I've made it a secret that I want you." A mask of confusion and exasperation took over her features, pushing Mercer to continue in his explanation. "There's a difference between what I want and what I need and I don't need it or the consequences that come with it."

"Consequences?"

"Divines Kaiya," he exhaled. Now it was Mercer's turn to act exasperated. "Have the past two days not taught you that there are consequences? Maven's out for your blood and that's not going to stop."

"Are you serious!?" Kaiya squeaked, her voice becoming high pitched with frustration. "Are you seriously doing the one thing I asked you not to do? You're holding back to protect me! I.."

"Who says it's for you!?" Mercer boomed, raising up to his full height to tower over her. "Have you thought of that? Maybe I don't need it! Maybe I don't need you."

The pain that shot through Kaiya was palpable to both of them as if he had stabbed her. He lowered his voice before continuing, but did not back down. "I told you I wouldn't make your decisions for you and I haven't, but I have a right to make my own decisions too. I don't need what comes next. You've already seen what happens when Maven gets involved. I've worked too hard for too long to fuck it up now."

Kaiya was quiet for a moment, willing her emotions into check. Although it was too late to avoid having Mercer see how badly he had hurt her, she could stop it from getting worse. She would not fall apart in front of him. She nodded knowingly before asking "I see. What about what I need, Mercer?"

"Since when is what you need my problem?"

She checked his face for any signs of remorse or guilt from his statement. There was none. She checked for any softening of his features after her face had told him the obvious impact that had on her. There was none. He meant every word just as harshly as he had said it. Her needs were not of his concern, as much as he tried to tell her earlier that he would help. Apparently that only went so far.

"I guess it's not," her jaw trembled and ached with tension, her eyes narrowed at him with determination. She could feel her nails digging into the skin of her palm as she clenched her fists tightly at her sides. "Like I said, I appreciate the clarification. Now that this is settled, I'm going to go." She turned her shoulders away from him before turning back to get in one last jab. "I'm going to get hammered now and find someone else to satiate my needs."

Mercer scoffed a laugh at her obvious retaliation, but she saw the muscles of his jaw tense at her statement. He didn't want her to, but he had no right to stop her after the assault he had just performed on her already frayed morale. She turned and did not look back as she stormed out of the training room, leaving him alone once again.


	27. Chapter 27

_14th of Sun's Dawn 4E203_

Kaiya flung open the doors to the Bee and Barb, her eyes frantically searching for the one person she knew she could use as she wished to make this go away. He had been there for her countless times to be used this way and tonight would be no different. Seeing him sitting in his usual spot by the door, she stomped her way over to him. Once he saw her approach, his face fell into a knowing smirk. He knew what this was.

"Have a need for me, Kaiya?" Marcurio asked, one eyebrow raised as a tease more than a question.

"Yes. I need mead and then I need you to take me upstairs and make me forget I'm on Nirn, okay?"

Mercurio smiled as he stood, casually walking to the bar and ordering two tankards of mead before indicating to Kaiya she should join him. She thundered her way to the bar, taking the seat next to the grinning mage.

"I don't need you to give me shit over this, okay Marc?" she lectured, one leg bouncing up and down on the stool to release her pent up aggression. "We both know you live for these moments."

Mercurio just laughed before raising his tankard in the air for a toast. "To taking Kaiya off Nirn." And at that, they clinked their glasses together and drank, beginning the dysfunctional courtship they would share for the night.

After Kaiya lost count of how many tankards she had emptied into herself and her eyes began to swim in her own drunkenness, she felt her muscles finally begin to relax. This had definitely been the right call. It had been way too long since she had taken anyone to bed and she was thoroughly looking forward to breaking that streak just to spite the one that would never be under her again. Every time her mind wandered back to his harsh words she could feel tears form in her eyes before she would down another mead and try to lose her focus. Try as she might, it wasn't working as much as she'd hoped but dammit if it wasn't better than being sober. Hopefully once they got upstairs, Marcurio would be true to his promise to help her forget she was on Nirn. She needed that.

"Ready to go?" Marcurio asked through hooded eyes over his tankard. He seemed to have read her thoughts.

"Yes," she responded quickly, throwing a few septims on the bar for Keerava as a tip before dismounting from her bar stool. Marcurio made his way to the stairs as Kaiya followed, clumsily walking behind him. Just before Kaiya put her foot onto the first step to go to the bedrooms on the second floor, the door to the inn blew open with a force, banging into the wall with a boom to announce someone's entry.

Kaiya didn't have to look to know who it was. She could feel the heaviness in the air, his presence causing the atmosphere to bend around where he stood. She slowly turned to look over her shoulder to glare at him menacingly, but the look he wore as he stared back was enough to make her insides flip in fear. Mercer was predatory.

She felt a shudder of fear run through her as she saw him approach her, causing her to turn to run up the stairs behind a confused Marcurio. Before she could get too far, she felt a hand on her arm pull her back to face the furious Mercer. They stared at each other for a moment, Mercer breathing heavy and erratic, his eyes frenzied with jealousy. Kaiya tried to hide her fear and confusion behind a smirk, but she knew he could see through it. He always could.

"What are you doing here Mercer?"

"I could ask you the same question." His voice was deep and commanding, the tone he usually used in the guild with disrespectful new members. She recognized it as the tone he used when he was grasping for control.

"I told you what I was going to do Mercer," she shrugged, her casual nature sending a jolt straight to his ferocious expression. "I'm satiating my needs."

"Needs or wants?" he spat, his grip tightening on her arm.

"Who cares?" she laughed, ripping her arm from his grasp. "I don't have to make that distinction."

She watched his jaw tighten further, grinding his teeth into each other.

"Kaiya?" Marcurio asked behind her on the stairs, "what's going on?"

"This has nothing to do with you, mage!" Mercer bellowed, his eyes shooting a venomous warning to the waiting Imperial.

Kaiya just rolled her eyes at Mercer before turning to Marcurio, putting on her most seductive voice just to spite her Guildmaster. "Nothing Marc, just go ahead and I'll join you in a minute." She grinned up at him and Marcurio's eyebrows shot up in surprise at her open flirtation. He turned to leave as Kaiya focused her attention back on her Guildmaster, making sure to let her face drop as soon as they made eye contact. She wanted him to see the drastic difference in the treatment he was receiving as opposed to her friend.

"Now if you'll excuse me," she taunted him now, "I should get back to letting someone else take care of my needs for the night."

She turned her back to Mercer with a smirk, knowing he'd never let her leave like that. Just as she expected, she felt his hand grip her arm and spin her around to face him once more. He now was much closer to her than he had been on the steps, closing the distance between them.

"Don't do something you'll regret because of me," he growled.

"Well that's presumptive of you," she taunted with a humorless smile. "Who says it's about you? I made decisions I regret long before you."

They were silent for a moment longer before she realized he had nothing else to say. What could he say? He knew he had no right to be there.

"Is that all, Mercer? Because it's rude to keep him waiting."

"Come back to the cistern." He blurted it out as a command, but he was unable to hide the neediness from his tone.

"Why?" Kaiya taunted, "do you _need_ me?"

A wolfish grin took over her expression as she saw the way her question affected him. It stung and she was happy that it did. He deserved it after the way he had treated her. She decided to rub salt in the wound while she had the chance.

"I thought so. Now I'm going to go upstairs and let that fine, young man ravish me," she yanked her arm out of Mercer's grip again, causing his hand to fall limply by his side. She took two steps up the stairs before turning and facing Mercer again, acting as if she was deep in thought.

"Hmm, maybe I'll let him take me right by the door? I don't know if we'll be able to wait to make it to the bed."

The way his face fell at how she spun his words around on him caused her heart to flip in her chest. She thought she would feel victorious, but his pained expression caused her to feel nothing but guilt. She had struck low with her last comment and she hurt him. As much as he deserved it, hurting people for the sake of hurting them was not something Kaiya usually did. She turned and continued to climb the stairs before she heard another loud bang, indicating the door to the inn had opened and shut once again. She spun around to see who it was, although she already knew. Mercer had stormed out, leaving her feeling nothing but empty.

* * *

She tried to get into it, she really did. She tried to let Marcurio's kisses numb her pain. She tried to let her mind escape into that blissful ignorance she chased, but it just never seemed to take her away. With every kiss from Marcurio, all she could think about was how she wanted it to be Mercer. She thought of the way he had kissed her before she left for Goldenglow and how it had lit a fire inside her that she was trying so desperately to put out. Nothing he did was working. There was not enough water or ice on Nirn to douse the fire Mercer had stoked inside of her.

With a final push, she lobbed Marcurio off of her before scrambling to her feet. She mumbled something under her breath about not being able to do this.

"Is this about the guy on the stairs, Kai?" Marcurio asked from his position on the bed, leaning up on one elbow to face her. He wasn't hurt; he knew he was always just a tool for her to let out aggression. This was, however, the first time she had stopped it from going too far.

"Yes." It was all Kaiya could manage to squeak out as she stood at the door to his room, her hand on the knob preparing her escape.

Marcurio blew out a breath at her words before lying back on the bed. "I knew it the moment I saw the look on his face."

"You knew what?" she couldn't bring herself to turn around, but she looked at him over her shoulder. His eyes were on the ceiling in deep thought.

"He loves you, Kaiya."


	28. Chapter 28

_14th of Sun's Dawn 4E203_

She didn't know where she was going. All she knew was that she couldn't be in the Bee and Barb. Or the cistern. Or any populated area, really. She stormed out of the inn and felt her legs pump themselves into a run. She let them carry her where they wished, not paying any attention to where she was headed. Before she knew it, she found herself at the back door of Riftweald Manor, staring at the second floor entrance. Her legs brought her there, but her mind was unwilling to take over and make the next move. She stood there for what felt like hours, waiting until some part of her body was willing to take control on behalf of the rest. Before she could do anything but stare, a voice in the quiet broke her out of her haze.

"What are you doing here, Kaiya?"

She spun around, looking for the source of the voice. She found it in the shadows, as he always was, under the tree in his backyard. She bounded down the stairs and ran to him but stopped before she made contact. There they stood, facing each other in his backyard, neither reaching for the other and both breathing erratically.

"What are you doing here, Kaiya?" he repeated, his tone curt to hide his emotion. "Shouldn't you be lying up in some mage's room basking in the afterglow right about now?" His anger was present in his voice now, a note of vindictiveness seeping out amongst the words. "Or was he unable to satiate your needs?"

At this, his jealousy took control. He grabbed Kaiya by the shoulders, pushing her against the stone wall that partitioned his yard apart from the rest of Riften. His gaze was consuming, shooting from his green irises as if it were fire. He placed a hand on either side of Kaiya's head, effectively pinning her to the wall although not a part of him touched her. It was his presence that kept her in place. Kaiya did nothing but breathe heavily, trying to make sense of what was happening and why she was there. His scent consumed her as much as his presence did, the smell of rain and stone permeating her skin.

"Was he unable to satisfy you? Have you come to me to finish the job?" he spat the words as if they were poison. "What is it, Kaiya? Speak."

She cringed at his command before letting her eyes lazily find their way to match his stare. She had not forgiven him for what he said but the man made her crazy. She didn't know why she was there but she knew she wouldn't let him get away with what he had said to her so easily.

"Why do you care?" her voice was quiet but she directed it at him pointedly, striking a piercing blow to his ire.

"You're at my house. You asked for this."

"No," she shook her head to shake the effects of his presence and scent out of her consciousness. "I asked why you care. You made it obvious before that you don't need me and nothing will happen, then you try to stop me from going elsewhere? Are you that greedy?"

"I'm a thief, Kaiya." His response was loaded yet honest, knocking the air out of her lungs. She scolded herself internally. Why had she expected him to act any different? He was not a good man. He took what he wanted and did not ask for permission or forgiveness. Of course he would treat this the same way. He took advantage of her silence as she let her mind roll over his words and pressed her further on the question he wanted to ask her. "Why are you here, Kaiya?"

"I don't know." Her voice was quiet. His eyes slammed shut in frustration at her elusiveness. "You make me crazy, Mercer."

He scoffed a laugh in response. "I make YOU crazy? You have no idea what crazy is Kaiya. I wish you could see what you do to me. What you do to my head. I wish you could have seen what you just did to me while I knew you were in there fucking someone else." He pointed towards the inn, but his focus remained on her, his face mere inches away.

"I didn't fuck him, Mercer." Her voice was quiet as she uttered her confession.

"Don't do that" he breathed out a laugh as one hand ran through his hair before placing it back on the wall by her head. "Don't lie to me."

"It's true, Mercer. I couldn't do it."

"Does he kiss you like I do, Kaiya?"

"What?" the beginnings of anger were making themselves known in her tone. "You have no right to…"

"Does he kiss you like I do?" he roared. The green in his eyes flared at his question, his jealousy becoming palpable between them.

"NO!" she shrieked, "And that's the fucking point, Mercer! You've ruined me! You've ruined me for anyone else! You've taken away my chance to have anything! Anyone!"

"Do you want him?"

"NO! I don't want anyone else! I just want you but I can't have you so…"

He crushed his lips to hers, swallowing the rest of her words. His tongue invaded her mouth and his body invaded her space, pinning her against the wall under his bulk. His kiss was hungry, ravenous even. All of his frustration from the past several hours made their way into his lips, his teeth, his tongue. She responded just as fervently, running her hands through his hair and holding his face to hers. She groaned as he pressed his body into hers and he let out a groan of his own into her mouth at the sound. He pulled his lips from hers before setting her skin on fire with kisses trailing down her jaw, neck, collarbone.

His deep voice rumbled into her ear as she gasped for air. "You don't know what you do to me Kaiya, but I need you to know. I need you to feel what you make me feel. You're under my skin, in my head, my blood."

Her hands in his hair, she could not get enough. She pulled him to her, crushing their lips together once more. She wrapped both legs around him, his body effectively holding her to the stone wall. The rocks dug into her back but she didn't care. Mercer was on her and all she wanted more was for him to be in her. She took in his scent, his overwhelming contrast of rain and fire. She let him consume her as she wrapped herself in him, not being able to get him close enough.

They were both so enraptured in what was playing out before them that they could see nothing else, hear nothing else. His hands on her and his smell overwhelming her was all she knew. He buried his face in her neck at her moan, drinking in her scent as they both moved further from Nirn. It was this obliviousness from anything around them that caused both incredibly perceptive thieves to miss the sound of the gate to his backyard opening.

"I had a feeling I'd find you two here, although I figured you'd at least be inside."

Mercer and Kaiya froze in place at the sudden emergence of another entity beside the two of them. Mercer stood straight up, pulling Kaiya to stand behind him so that he could shield her from the intruder.

"What in the Oblivion, Delvin?" Mercer roared, his voice shaky from the heightened tension. Kaiya couldn't help but let out a snicker behind him at the way he said 'the Oblivion' like she always did. It was funny to think she was rubbing off on him.

"Maven's courier is in the cistern looking for you and was threatening to come here to find you, so I offered to do it for him." Delvin looked amused, crossing his arms and smirking at his bewildered Guildmaster. "You're welcome, by the way."

"What does he want?" Mercer asked, not hiding his anger in his words.

"I'm not sure, but we should get back before he gets impatient and comes looking for you himself."

Mercer merely nodded before looking behind himself at the disheveled Kaiya. His lips curled into a lopsided smile as he bent over to tame her wild mane. The sight of a smile on his face made Kaiya's legs weaken and she reached out to Mercer for stability. He chuckled to himself at the sight before leaning in to speak in her ear.

"Will you be okay to return or do you need to take a dip in the lake first?" the humor present in his voice caused Kaiya to smile before smacking him playfully in the shoulder.

"Don't flatter yourself," she teased but her smile didn't last long.

Mercer noticed her faltering grin, "what is it?"

"Hm?" she asked, her concentration being brought to his gaze. "Oh, just thinking about how bad this sucks."

He barked out a laugh as he draped his arm around her shoulders, his free hand adjusting the bulge in his trousers. "You have no idea, Footpad."


	29. Chapter 29

_14th of Sun's Dawn 4E203_

"Ah, they've returned." A small, skeever of a man stood at the desk as the three thieves approached. His dark hair stuck to his forehead and scalp with sweat, his beak of a nose held high in an attempt to seem more important than he was.

Kaiya audibly groaned at his snobbish greeting. _Maven's personal courier._ Kaiya had never been introduced to the man so she had no idea what his name was, but she half expected it to just be Courier as much as his job filled in for his personality.

Mercer held out an arm to silence her from going further. This guy may look like he just came from a Namira cult orgy, but he could get them in deep with Maven if he felt like it.

"What is it?" Mercer spoke now, authority booming in his tone.

"Maven would like you to meet her at the Bee and Barb M-"

"Tell her I'll be right there," Mercer cut him off.

"Apologies sir, but I was speaking to the maiden here."

All three thieves looked at each other in shock before returning their gaze to Courier.

"Me?" Kaiya pointed to herself in surprise, brows furrowed in confusion. "Or are you looking for Vex?"

Courier sighed with annoyance as he checked his fingernails for dirt, obviously bored by the conversation. "No miss, she specifically asked for you."

"I'll come with you," Mercer spoke in a hushed voice, attempting to make his statement private although it was overheard.

"I'm sorry but I can't let you do that," Courier replied, his eyes now back on the thieves but with the same bored expression. "She specifically asked for the maiden to come alone."

"I'll go, but you've gotta stop calling me maiden," Kaiya laughed, trying and failing to ease the tension.

"This way," Courier responded, leading the way as if his title somehow made him the authority on leaving the cistern.

Kaiya followed the man, turning once to give a shrug to the two thieves who stood dumbfounded. She couldn't help but think that Mercer looked paranoid. She laughed a bit to herself at the sight. He was turning into a regular ol' Delvin with how much he worried these days.

As she followed behind Courier, she found her mind wandering. What the hell had just happened between her and Mercer? She caught herself grinning at the memory and the butterflies in her stomach spinning chaotically as she thought of his words. _I need you to feel what you make me feel. You're under my skin, in my head, my blood._ Her skin began to flush anew.

"I said, she'll be upstairs, miss."

"Oh," she hadn't realized they had made it to the Bee and Barb as sucked into her own thoughts as she had been. "Okay thanks… Courier?"

Courier rolled his eyes and walked off, not correcting her by giving his name. _Courier it is then I guess_ , she thought to herself as she made her way up the stairs to face the matron.

She spotted her at once, sitting by herself at a table in the corner, no doubt set up just for her. Her posture was rigid, her features sharp. Kaiya wondered if there was anything about her that could be considered soft.

She held her head high as she approached the sitting matriarch, wanting to appear as confident as possible as to not seem fearful. Here she was, the godsdamned Dragonborn, Listener of the Dark Brotherhood, legendary Companion and she was nervous around a noblewoman. She was the one that people were supposed to be afraid of, but she swore Maven could scare away frostbite.

"You wanted to see me, Maven?"

Maven said not a word as she conspicuously let her eyes traverse over Kaiya, inspecting every inch of her. Kaiya felt like a bug pinned on display in an alchemist's lab with the way Maven stared at her with medical precision.

When Kaiya felt like she couldn't take the silent inspection any more, Maven finally spoke. "So you're the one that has Mercer all a twitter, hmm? You don't look so impressive."

Kaiya felt her fists clench at her side, trying with all her might to fight down her rising temper at the mere sound of the woman's voice.

"Looks can be deceiving, Maven, like right now for example. I look like I'm calm when really I'd rather smash your face into that table." _So much for calm and reserved there Kai._

"Well you're a Firebrand, aren't you?" Maven sounded almost impressed.

"How about we skip the conversation, if you don't mind?" Kaiya retorted, cocking her hip to the side. "You asked me here for a reason and I doubt it was for us to throw passive aggressive insults at each other."

"Oh I meant no insult," Maven said smugly, too high class to ever stoop to trading barbs with a commoner. "It's about time Mercer sent me someone with a little backbone."

"All the more for you to break, right?" Kaiya slid her hand up to rest on her hip, calling up her nonchalance.

"Precisely. I'm glad to see you know your place." Maven spoke like a dart trap, each word sharp and venomous.

Kaiya had stared into the eyes of the Worldeater and they held less malice than the ones she stared into now. They stood quiet for a moment, sizing each other up like two sabre cats before a brawl.

"Well if you're quite finished with all of your intimidation attempts for the time being, I'd like to talk business." Maven took a trick from Kaiya and resorted to acting aloof, taking a seat as though the conversation she just had mattered little. "I have a job for you."

"Sounds good," Kaiya shrugged. No one would outplay her at the aloof game.

"Head to the Bannered Mare in Whiterun and look for Mallus Maccius. He'll fill you in on all the details." She waved her hand for Kaiya to leave, once again treating her like an insect.

"Right," Kaiya rolled her eyes and turned to go, happy to escape this painful interaction.

"Oh and Kaiya?" Maven called out, her voice dripping with honey. Kaiya stopped walking but did not turn around to face her. "In case I wasn't clear, you butcher this job and you'll be sorry."

Kaiya started moving again, making her way to the stairwell of the Bee and Barb as she heard Maven call out from behind her, "give Mercer my love!"

 _This woman_. No wonder Mercer hated her so much. Kaiya wouldn't be surprised if she had a journal in her home where she had recorded everyone in Skyrim's pet peeves just so she knew how to poke them all.

As she made her way to the exit, she passed by a familiar Imperial mage sitting on his usual bench. "Kaiya!" he exclaimed, jumping up to follow her "Here to have ol' Marcurio take away the pain for you again? Care to have a few drinks?"

"Not now, Marc!" she barked in reply as she shoved him back before practically kicking open the doors of the inn to make her escape.

She made her way back to the cistern with a quickness. She knew Mercer probably wouldn't be too happy if he found out the way she had just spoken to Maven, but she didn't care. Maven had been right about one thing after all. Kaiya was definitely a Firebrand.

* * *

Mercer was nowhere to be found in the cistern. _That was weird_. She'd have to just tell him about her meeting with Maven when he got back. She felt a small amount of relief at that, knowing that meant she could have a mead before she figured out what she wanted to do.

All of her makeshift plans came to a screeching halt as soon as she entered the Flagon and saw Mercer sitting at his usual spot at the bar. Drinking alone. It was almost sunrise; this was the earliest she had ever seen him at the bar. Something must have happened. She grabbed herself a bottle of mead from behind the bar before settling in at a stool next to him.

"How'd it go with Maven?" He didn't look at her, but stared forward. He seemed angry.

She figured it'd be better to avoid the question of 'how'd it go' seeing his current mood and instead answering what was sure to be the next question of 'why?'

"She has a job for me."

"Figures." He took a rather large sip of mead from his tankard at her answer. She could smell the mead on him. He'd been drinking this whole time, it seemed.

"You okay, Mercer?" she asked, reaching out a hand to place on his arm. He looked at her hand for a moment before she felt his shoulders slightly relax.

"Yeah, I just" he paused, letting his head drop down to touch his chin to his chest. "I was just angry. And worried. And did I mention angry?" He turned his head to look at her at this, his temper seeming to fizzle out a bit now that she was there.

"At me?" she asked, her hand still gripping his arm.

"Why?" he asked, an eyebrow shooting up at her playfully. "Should I be?"

He had just been kidding, but her response made him worry. She gave him an awkward grimace, her tell when she had information she knew he wasn't going to like.

"Ah shit Kai," he shook his head at her. "What did you do?"

"I just wasn't that nice to Maven," she shrugged innocently, obviously trying to downplay the severity of her actions.

"Details, Kaiya." It was a command, but it came out strained as if he did not have the energy to draw it out of her.

She went through the interaction in detail for him while he just stayed quiet, his eyes on his tankard. When she finished her story, complete with the "send Mercer my love!" comment that Maven had thrown at Kaiya's back, Mercer did not speak. He sat in the same position he had been sitting in, just as silent as he was when she was telling him what happened.

"And that's… that's it Mercer." she said, confused. She figured he must have been waiting for her to continue since he was being so quiet.

"Okay." was his response.

"Mercer, you're scaring me," Kaiya said, cautiously leaning back in preparation for something that was sure to come. "Say something, please."

"I don't know what to say." He spoke quietly.

"Why not?"

"Because I don't know what the right response is for dealing with her anymore, Kaiya." His head stayed down but his voice was pained. "Would it have been better if you kissed her ass? No, probably not. She would have either seen you as weak or as a pawn in her game that she could play as she pleased. At least now she knows she has to fight to get you to cooperate."

Kaiya felt the corners of her mouth tug upwards at his observation, although she knew it was too soon to celebrate.

"You realize she'll work harder to bring you down now though, right?" he asked, finally turning to look at her.

"Yeah," Kaiya responded with a shrug, "but we've already talked about the fact that she's going to do that anyway, so I might as well say what I want to her when I have the chance. Plus," she leaned in to whisper into his ear, "it's not like she can sick the Dark Brotherhood on me, you know?"

Mercer's lips lazily morphed into a lopsided smile as he looked over at her. Damn her for always being able to make everything okay. He watched her as she eyed him over her tankard while she sipped her mead. She really was beautiful.

"You're drunk," she laughed.

"Yep," he admitted as he smiled, looking down in his tankard.

"Why were you worried, Mercer?" she asked, putting her hand back on his arm.

"I'm worried Maven's going to try to take advantage of you," he said, honestly. "Especially if she knows you're Dragonborn."

"Why are you worried about that? You don't think I can defend myself?"

"Nah it's not like that" he shook his finger side to side at her, causing her to laugh at his drunken clumsiness. "She has this… thing… where she likes to… oh what's the word?... collect?... people in powerful positions."

"Mercer what in the Oblivion are you talking about?"

He laughed "THEE oblivion, I like it when you say that." He really was drunk.

"Mercer what do you mean she collects people in powerful positions?" she wanted to get the information out of him, but she couldn't help but smile at his drunken behavior.

"She wants as many powerful allies as she can find and she won't stop until she gets them." He took another sip from his tankard before continuing. "She'll start off nice at first before turning to blackmail, then it's full on threats. I've seen her do it a hundred times."

"And you think that she'd do that to me?"

"I don't think so," he let out a dark laugh. "I know so." He leaned in and touched the tip of her nose with his finger as he grinned.

Even though the information he was giving her was horrifying, she couldn't stop herself from smiling at the way it was being presented to her. She had never seen him drunk before and it was quite entertaining.

"Are you still worried that whatever this is," she swung her hand back and forth between them as Mercer had earlier, indicating that she meant their relationship, "will make her try harder?"

Mercer's jovial nature from moments before suddenly turned dark. Shadows seemed to adhere to him, casting dark lines along his features and causing his frown to look more severe. "Yes."

"Well, let her try," Kaiya laughed, trying to lighten the mood back to where it was before. "Like I said, I've handled worse."

"Maybe so," his voice was grave, "but you've never faced anything like this before, Kaiya."

"What are you saying?" she asked nervously, straight to the point as usual.

"I'm saying you should go. Leave tonight. Go to Whiterun. Do whatever job she laid out for you but when you return, things will be different." He turned his eyes to focus on hers, cold and pained with their severity. "I can't let myself slip like I did earlier. Whatever this was between us is done."

Kaiya stared at Mercer in complete stillness. Her face showed nothing. As she rolled his words over in her head, her anger rose to the surface and plastered itself on her face.

"Are you fucking serious!?" she shrieked at him, her voice shrill from shock.

"Dead serious." His expression matched his tone, cold and hard.

Kaiya reeled from the sudden turn in his demeanor. Just moments ago, he had been laughing and playful and then suddenly, stone cold sobriety. How could he do that? He had been overflowing with passion a few hours ago only to change to this now? He was so hot and cold, so on and off. She shook her head as all of the loose ends flew around in her mind, trying to make sense of the current mood. If this is the game he wanted to play then so be it. She'd crush him.

"Fine." she spat, tersely. "I'll leave for Whiterun now, but understand one thing Mercer." She leaned forward, the severity of her gaze sending a cold shock through Mercer's veins. He was no longer speaking with Kaiya the thief or even Kaiya the Dragonborn. This was Kaiya the assassin, cold as ice and just as cutting. For the first time since he met her, he understood how she was capable of killing without remorse. Of slitting the throat of an emperor. If it was possible, he would have bled from the sharpness of her words. "This is it. I am no longer putting up with your mood swings. I gave you my patience before, but that is gone. You have severed your ties to me for the last time. Do not expect a change of heart to win me back over when I return."

Mercer was speechless. He stared at her with wide eyes in response but nothing came to mind to say. She had frozen him solid with her words alone.

"I'll show you the meaning of dead serious, Frey."

And with that, she turned and walked away. She did not storm off. She did not run. She walked away with a sheer determination that only comes with years of building a solid resolve. She didn't look over her shoulder at him as she usually did. Her eyes stayed forward, as she moved like a wraith, a living embodiment of the void itself.


	30. Chapter 30

_15th of Sun's Dawn 4E203_

She wore her resolve like armor. She had done this before. If anyone knew how to put up a wall, it was Kaiya Hawkhart. The entire trip to Whiterun she did not sleep, or eat, or even talk. The driver learned quickly that she was not in the mood for conversation that night, so the ride had been a silent one. She simply stared forward, willing the night to leave her alone.

She met with Mallas at the Bannered Mare. She went to the meadery that Maven had her greedy, evil eyes set on. She intimidated the owner into giving her whatever she wanted to get it done. Once she crept into the tunnels below the meadery, she finally let out an emotion, but only one. Sheer rage.

Although she was attacking mere skeevers, she slashed at them with the same veracity in which she'd strike a dragon. She was covered in blood and viscera, entrails of the skeevers littering the ground in her wake. When she found herself in the belly of the tunnels, she actually grinned at the sight of a maniacal sorcerer, thrilled with the opportunity to take out her aggression on something human.

She charged at the man with her dagger and sword unsheathed, her Breton blood deflecting most of the spells he threw her way. Disappointingly, the sorcerer fell to her blows without putting up much of a fight. It was after the fight however, that she felt fear. Fear at what she was becoming.

The deranged mage lay dead on the floor, but Kaiya's assault did not cease. Her dagger plunged into his heart over and over and over, creating a sickly wet sound with each blow. She slashed his face and throat, relishing in the blood that sprayed over her face and hands, the smell of organs and copper thick in the air around her. It was her release, much like the straw dummies in the training room had been for her. But oh this was so much sweeter. She threw her dagger to the side when stabbing became too effective and started punching the corpse in what had once been his face. All of her rage and fury, pain and anguish came flying out of her through her wrecked and bloody fists. After what felt like hours, she tired and flung herself off of him to lay, flat on her back, on the floor in the midst of the blood and flesh that coated the stone. She stared at the ceiling, horrified at what just happened.

Her rage had always been such a useful tool, but it never ceased to terrify her. This is the rage that Paartharnax had warned her of. The Greybeards had told her of what her true nature would want to release. Every time she had persuaded them to believe that she could keep it under control. Who was she anyway? Alduin? No, she was much better than what he had become. She would never use her power that way.

But on occasion, usually when no one was around to see it, her fury would unleash itself. It usually found its way out when confronting someone who had hurt someone she cared about, but it really scared her when it came flying out of her like this, over something as mundane as a man. Was she becoming Alduin after all?

When this rumination had run its course, she slowly found a way to stand. Her legs wobbled with the loss of adrenaline that had pumped them previously. Now she was just empty. Empty and exhausted. But she still had work to do.

She made her way through the rest of the tunnels, not with any particular zeal. She did what she had to do. She placed the poison in the mead as she had been instructed, but not before helping herself to a tankard or two first. She needed something to calm her nerves.

She sat at the bar, still covered in blood and muck, when the captain of the guard entered the meadery. He gave her one look of surprise before deciding to ignore her. Smart man. She did not seem like a woman that should be bothered at the moment.

When all was said and done, another innocent man had been wiped from the ranks of Maven's competitors. She couldn't help but feel sorry for the man. After all, he had only stood up to Maven, the one thing that Kaiya so longed to do.

She could hear Mercer's words in her head as she thought about the matron. "You've never faced anything like this." She wondered what Maven could possibly use to threaten her with. Mercer? Maybe that's where his fear came from. He didn't want to be used as bait to lure the infamous Dragonborn into Maven's web to be devoured. _Coward_.

She made her way to Sabjorn's quarters to finish the job, digging through his strongbox and his desk for any information on who his benefactor was. She almost gave up before she spotted it - an inconspicuous note in a random drawer. Opening it, she felt a shock run through her veins at the symbol that adorned the top of the paper. It was the same from Goldenglow.

 _Someone is working against us_.

* * *

Before climbing back onto the carriage to bring her back to Riften, she stopped at the White River to clean herself off. She stood at the bank of the river, staring into the rushing water that ebbed and flowed around her. Slowly, she pulled off her leather cuirass. It was disgusting, covered and caked in blood and gods knows what else. She bent into the water to clean it, followed by her trousers. She stood by the river in nothing but her smallclothes, still caked in the consequences of her fury on the skeevers and the mage. It wasn't a particularly warm day in Whiterun, but the chill on the wind felt good against Kaiya's bare skin. It reminded her she was alive and that she could feel.

She dove into the water, the cold temperature causing her to lose her breath in shock. She stayed underwater as long as she could manage before rising to the surface, letting much needed air back into her lungs. When she plunged under again, she found herself wishing she could stay there. The world underneath the flow of the river was so removed. She couldn't hear anything else. She couldn't see anything else. It was just her and the icy cold water that rushed around her, removing all of the remnants of her earlier struggle from her body, face and hair. She burst through the surface once more as air became a necessity before she just let herself float, facing the sky.

What was happening to her? She had been so strong, so independent. Why was a man getting to her this way? She had never been affected by anyone so much in her life and it made her heart ache at the thought. Well, it was either the thought of how it affected her or the thought of what it was that affected her, she was unwilling to decide. She remembered Mercer's words. "Dead serious." _Oh fuck him_ , she thought, spinning around in the icy water, but she couldn't shake it. Just as it always did, her mind found its way back to what she didn't want to think about. The times that made this hurt. When he laughed at her joke the first night she joined the guild. The look on his face the first time she shouted at him. The way he looked at her when he had her pinned beneath him. The way he never called her Dragonborn because it didn't matter to him. The way he jokingly referred to her weapons by their stupid names. The way he called her footpad. The way the green in his eyes burned when he tried to keep her from going upstairs with Marcurio. The way his voice rumbled from his chest when he spoke into her ear. The smell of smoke and water. The way the atmosphere seemed to bend around his very presence.

She had it bad. She had to admit it. And as ruminations tend to do, the worst possible advice from the last person she wanted to hear it from popped into her mind at the worst possible time.

 _Ah come on Priestess. Be brave. Brave doesn't mean you're not scared, it means you still do it, even when you think you might shit your pretty little robes._

A smile broke on Kaiya's face at the memory, even though it ripped her in half to think of anything Festus had ever said to her. She found herself grasping her necklace as she thought of him. She wished she could talk to him right now. He would give her just the verbal ass kicking she needed to do the right thing. Damn she missed that ornery old man. He was always right. Even now, when he didn't even intend to give her the advice. Before she realized what she was doing, she found herself talking to him as if he were there with her.

"I'm scared, Festus."

She could almost hear his response and it made her laugh. She knew him too well. He would have told her "no shit, Priestess, but since when has that stopped ya?"

He was right. Fear was no reason not to go for something. The best things that had ever happened to her happened after she was afraid but did it anyway. She had faced loss, but she had also lived.

She pulled herself out of the water and found herself shivering uncontrollably at the drop in her body temperature. _Shit, that was dumb_ , she thought to herself before casting a healing spell over her bare form. It didn't warm her up, but it took away the pins and needles at least. She laid in the grass as she stared at the sun, letting the last warm rays of the Whiterun afternoon warm her ice cold skin. As the feeling came back into her limbs, she could practically feel the blood rushing around in her body.

That's when it hit her. That's what life was about. Do the things that make your blood rush around in your veins. And right now, there was only one thing that could make her blood pump more than any other. Mercer godsdamned Frey.


	31. Chapter 31

_16th of Sun's Dawn 4E203_

She jumped onto the carriage at the Whiterun stables just like she had a thousand times, saying hey to Bjorlam as she tossed him his fare. The carriage ride went by without event, confirming in Kaiya's mind that she was on the right path. Kaiya was an expert at letting the most mundane of details confirm her theories even if there was no correlation.

She hopped off the carriage and made her way into the Bee and Barb to wrap things up with Maven. She barely listened as the woman spoke this time, adamant that she would not let Maven do anything to upset her new goal of making this thing work with Mercer, whatever it was. She nodded and accepted the lame payment Maven offered and before she knew it, the conversation was over. See? She could do this.

It was when she saw Mercer walking out of Haelga's that her good mood and all of her happy theories came to a screeching halt. She felt her heart in her throat at the sight, but nothing compared to the way her stomach clenched when she saw Haelga flirtatiously touch his shoulder as she laughed at some joke Mercer must have told her. _That bitch just touched him_.

The fact that he didn't seem to mind her touching him is what ignited the fire. Before she knew what she was doing, Kaiya had stormed over to stand right in front of their interaction. Mercer may not feel for her like she felt for him, but she would be damned to Oblivion before she let this go without a fight. It was his reaction to seeing her that struck the final blow into Kaiya's heart.

He saw her, looked right at her, and nodded before turning his attention back to Haelga. Almost to spite her, he placed his hand in the small of Haelga's back. It was a small gesture, but he couldn't have hurt her more if he had cast a spell at her with that hand. Tears filled up her eyes but she was determined not to let Mercer see her like this. She had to get away from Mercer for a while. She knew what she had to do.

Before she had time to register what she was doing, she had burst through the front doors of Mistveil Keep and had made her way to the Jarl's steward, sitting patiently by the jarl as she listened to griping residents of her hold. The steward looked right at Kaiya before diverting her attention back to the Nord currently grumbling about wheat taxes. _What was going on? Did she have an invisibility spell up that she was unaware of today_?

Not to be dismissed so easily, she pulled on the steward's arm, effectively yanking her out of the chair she had been sitting in.

"Ow!" she complained, rubbing her arm dramatically as the Jarl's bodyguard took a step closer.

"Don't worry there muscles," Kaiya said to the man to calm his fears. "I don't intend to massacre the hold today."

He took a step back but his hand remained on his sword as he watched her skeptically.

"I want to buy a house." Kaiya spat out at the steward. "The Jarl told me one was available and I want to buy it."

"What's with the urgency?" the steward asked, still rubbing her arm.

"That's none of your concern," Kaiya responded tersely. "I just need the house tonight, okay? Oh, and whatever decor you guys normally throw together. I've got the coin, just tell me what you need."

Over 10,000 septims and a few annoyed sighs later, Kaiya held the key to her new home in her hand. She couldn't help but smile at it, knowing she made the right move. Some space away from the cistern would be good.

She bound her way over to her home, flush with the excitement of decorating a new house and with the thrill of the title of Thane. She had a housecarl again. As much as the loyal Nord type tended to annoy her, Kaiya was excited about the possibility of having someone who wasn't a rogue to talk to.

Just as she expected however, once the excitement of purchasing the new property began to lose its edge, she found herself moping again. She decided to take advantage of her new loyal friend by asking her opinion.

"Iona, say you were kind of involved with this guy," she began her question as she organized alchemy supplies on the shelf on the bottom floor of her new home.

"Are you asking my advice my Thane or are you asking if I'm involved with anyone?"

That was a weird question. "Uh, I'm asking your advice on something that happened today."

"So you're involved with someone?" Iona asked. What was with these weird questions? If Kaiya didn't know any better, she'd think this woman was hitting on her.

"Uh sort of. I mean I guess so. Or I was. It's complicated."

"Continue your question," Iona prompted as she collected the ice wraith teeth for the shelf. "I'm listening."

"Right, okay. Well I'll just cut to it then," she turned and faced her housecarl. "Would you be upset or think it was reason to worry if you saw someone you were involved with talking with Haelga?"

"Haelga? As in the Bunkhouse?"

 _No, another Haelga, what do you think?_ "Yes, that Haelga. He was talking to her and she laughed and touched his shoulder and he didn't seem to mind but then the worst part is he put his hand in the small of her back and I don't know if I should be upset and assume something happened or just let it go and assume it was a work conversation or something and I need someone who isn't a degenerate to tell me how to feel." She said it all in one breath, her pitch growing higher as the story went on.

"Okay," Iona struggled to process the information. "What do you mean someone who isn't a degenerate?"

Kaiya let out a heavy sigh. So much for talking with someone. "You seem like a good person, so you won't give me advice like some of the other people I associate with. That's all. That's not really the most important aspect of that story though." She was trying to keep her calm and not react like a smartass like she normally would. She just met this woman and wanted to be friends. Best to not alienate her on the first day they met.

"Well this guy was involved with you and decided to have a conversation with Haelga, it must not be that serious. I wouldn't let anyone I was seeing ever go around that harlot."

 _Great. Another puritan._ "I don't care what she does for a living as much as I care if he … partook… in her services. She can do whatever she wants and they can talk all they want as long as he didn't… _do_.. Anything. You catch my meaning?"

"Well what else would they be talking about?"

"Work?" Kaiya realized there wasn't much she could say on this topic, so she kept it as vague as possible.

"And what line of work would need to associate with Haelga?" Iona shivered at the thought, obviously a little grossed out at what Haelga did for a living.

"I don't know, but I'm sure there are legitimate business ventures that would need discussing." Kaiya shot a confused look a Iona, not expecting anyone her age and living in Riften to be such a prude. "Do you have an issue with promiscuous women?"

"No, just homewreckers." Iona's tone was jarring and clipped. This obviously hit close to home for her, so Kaiya resolved not to push her on it any further.

"Right, well…" Kaiya was at a loss for words on how to respond. This conversation had not been helpful at all. Times like these made Kaiya truly miss Gabriella. She would have been plotting Haelga's assassination by now. "I better go. I've got some work to attend to." She knew she was being awkward, but she wanted to disengage from this conversation as quickly as possible. Looks like she'd be spending another night at the Flagon after all.


	32. Chapter 32

_16th of Sun's Dawn 4E203_

Kaiya quietly entered the cistern through the secret entrance, trying to bring as little attention to herself as possible. She was not sure if he would be there or not, but she did not want him to see her if he was. Her eyes on her boots, she swiftly made her way towards the Flagon; she didn't even address any of her fellow guild members. It was of no use.

"Kaiya!"

The booming voice of the Guildmaster reverberated throughout the room, bouncing off of the stone walls and bringing all movement to a grinding halt. She froze in her tracks before letting her eyes slowly make their way to his position behind the guildmaster's desk. He stood straight, fists clenched at his sides, his anger palpable even from the distance in which she stood from him.

She winced at the sight of him, reeling from the blow of his voice. She timidly turned in his direction and made her way towards him to confront whatever caused the wrath he was sending her way in waves.

She took the opportunity during her walk to try to calm her frayed nerves. _Don't let him see you upset, Kai_ she told herself. _Don't let him see he's hurt you_.

As she approached the desk, she noticed that all the members of the guild were still silent, watching with bated breath to see what was going to happen. It was like watching an execution: no one wanted to see it but you couldn't help but watch.

His eyes were pinned on her as she stood before him, a few moments passed in silence as she used all of her willpower not to look away. She was determined to keep his gaze and not cower. Not now.

"When were you planning on reporting to me after your job?" His voice was deep and low, obviously in an effort to keep this conversation between them.

She cocked her head to the side and felt a smirk take over her features. "I reported back to Maven, was that not right?" Sarcasm dripped from her question. "I mean, you've made it pretty clear that she's the one in charge."

Fury enveloped his very being, causing a momentary shudder of fear to rip through Kaiya's body. His eyes seemed to burn green as if they were on fire and his fists clenched at his sides to the point his knuckles turned white.

"Careful, Kaiya" his voice was even and measured, though it could not hide the unbridled rage that boiled just under the surface. "You do not want to continue down that road."

She crossed her arms and glared back to show that she was not afraid of him, but he did not miss the movement of her throat as she swallowed in nervousness. Although she had no intention of backing down, she had been effectively persuaded not to push the Maven angle any harder. That would not end well.

"Well as you can see Guildmaster," she continued, acting as though his mood had no effect on her. "I have returned and the job was completed to perfection." She dug in her bag and pulled out the enchanted iron dagger that Maven had given her as a meager payment for her services and tossed it onto the desk. The resulting clang of metal on wood rang out through the quiet cistern. "Her pay was shit though."

His eyes did not move from hers as he completely ignored the dagger on the desk. His penetrating stare was beginning to eat at her, slowly boring itself into her mind. She hated it when he looked at her like that, especially since she had seen so many more pleasant expressions planted on his face not too long ago.

"Anything else?" he asked skeptically, his body language communicating that he knew there was more. He was pushing for her to tell him.

"Sounds like you've already heard all about it, so I don't know why you're so upset" she responded with a shrug, crossing her arms across her chest.

"You don't see why I might be upset that you discovered a note at the meadery that happened to have the same symbol on it as the bill of sale at Goldenglow? That meant nothing to you?"

 _Shit._ Kaiya winced at the onslaught of his temper, the sickening feeling of failure beginning to eat at her stomach. He just continued. "Because it should. It should stand out that someone is obviously trying to sabotage us but no," he paused to laugh mirthlessly, running his hands through his hair. "Telling Maven about it was plenty. No need to inform your Guildmaster."

Kaiya stood stunned by the revelation Mercer spat at her in anger. It bothered her that he had a point. She despised that he was always in control. Always in the right. Just when she felt she finally had a leg to stand on against him, he reminded her that she had lost her focus, yet again, on the objective. She said nothing, her silence persuading him to continue on his tirade.

"When you complete a job for the guild, you have a responsibility to report back to me. I thought that was understood." His voice was steel and cold, a stark contrast to his wild appearance. "Tell me you understand."

She nodded, hoping that would be enough to end the conversation. It wasn't.

"Say it." He commanded her, raising his voice ever so slightly to express his seriousness. "Say you understand."

He was embarrassing her on purpose, which infuriated her. He was pulling rank, forcing her to humiliate herself before him like some groveling sinner. She refused, staring back at him with her arms crossed over her chest in defiance.

She chose to explain herself instead "Mercer I had every intention of reporting back it's just -"

"SAY IT!" he thundered at her, his face a horrifying shade of red to match the fire in his words. He was not going to let this go. She would cower.

"I understand, Guildmaster." Her voice was ice, rigid with the promise of retribution for his actions. Mercer felt his stomach turn at the coldness of her words as he could once again see the assassin in her.

"Good." His voice was now lower, but his countenance no less angry. "Now that we understand each other, I expect that next time you have a job you will report directly back to me instead of wandering all over Riften for the day."

"Should I have reported to you when you were with Haelga, Guildmaster?" she spat, a little louder than was really necessary.

Kaiya hated that she brought her up. She could hear the jealousy in her own voice and that made her feel ashamed and weak. She didn't want him to know that seeing him with her affected her as much as it had, but if he was going to bring up the fact that he had seen her in Riften, she would bring up what he was doing.

Mercer's face flashed a moment of confusion before settling into a knowing stare. He no longer looked as angry as he had, but that made Kaiya cringe. He didn't need to be angry when he had the upper hand.

He leaned forward and placed his palms on the desk as he closed in the distance between them. "Is that it then?" he asked, his voice now deep and gravelly, inaudible to anyone but her. "Is that what this is about? You avoided reporting to me because of misplaced jealousy?"

"Don't flatter yourself Mercer," she said as she leaned over the desk herself, closing the distance between them to mere inches. "Seeing you pay for sex did not make me jealous. It made me pity you."

"Is that what you thought happened?" He did not even try to hide the surprise in his voice. "Oh that's rich!" He was laughing now. He ran his hands through his hair in exasperation before returning his gaze to her. "Jumping to conclusions a bit there, are we not Footpad? You seem to have forgotten that Haelga is a client of ours."

"And now you're a client of hers," she retorted, not letting his laughter get the better of her. "What a mutually beneficial business deal, Mercer. She gets our protection and you get to stuff your coffers with a mark of Dibella."

"Watch it" he warned her, his voice now going back to steel and ice. "I have given you more patience than you deserve in this conversation Kaiya but you have now worn it thin. Bottom line, report to me after a job, even if you think I'm paying for sex. Hell, even if I'm in the act, Kaiya. Even then." He let his face morph into a wicked grin, knowing that his words would cut her. "Just knock first."

He thought it would feel nice to take a jab at her since she had been so vicious with him, but he had been wrong. He thought he would like to watch her feel a fraction of what he had felt the night he knew she was with that godsdamned mage in the Bee and Barb, but it was not what he had hoped. Watching as her face melted into sheer horror at the thought of seeing him with someone else, he immediately realized he had made a grave mistake. He knew he was being unfair. He was the one that had made their relationship off limits and here he was, rubbing it in her face to hurt her. Guilt formed in the pit of his stomach like a sickness yet he could not will himself to speak, to amend. They just stared at each other, her eyes brimming with tears and his mouth in a frown.

She nodded once before saying "understood, Guildmaster." The way her voice cracked with emotion as she spoke ripped Mercer's guilt open, spilling it into his very being.

"Kaiya…" he started to respond in a much softer tone before she interrupted him, her head shaking and her eyes closed.

"No Mercer, I said I understand." A single tear fell from the corner of her eye. "May I go?"

He had no idea how to respond, so he merely nodded once and watched her as she turned and walked away, trying to hold her head high. The feeling of sickness overwhelmed him at what he had done, but he would not run after her. He couldn't. He was forced to stand there as he watched her retreating form and silently berate himself for his tyranny.


	33. Chapter 33

_16th of Sun's Dawn 4E203_

Kaiya sat at the bar in the Ragged Flagon, downing one mead after another without so much as a word to anyone else. They had all seen the argument that took place between Kaiya and the Guildmaster although they had no idea how bad it had really been. In an unspoken agreement, everyone gave her space. She needed time to herself.

Her mind was racing. _What had happened between them!?_ Just a few days ago he had pinned her to the stone wall in his backyard as he kissed her, telling her of what she did to him and how she made him crazy. She thought things were finally going to start working out. Even after he told her it was over before she left for Whiterun, she had convinced herself that he had just been spooked. He would just need a little more time. Then, out of nowhere, he threw a relationship she didn't even know he had into her face! She knew he had felt remorse for it, but it was apparently not enough remorse for him to come after her and apologize. She felt sick and it wasn't from the four bottles of mead she had drained in a span of 10 minutes.

The rest of the patrons at the Flagon watched her through side glances with worry as she absentmindedly spun the ring around her neck in her fingers. Everyone knew she did that when she was stressed and everyone knew to never ask her about it. Hushed whispers asked each other what happened, what had he said to her? But no one dared ask her.

Only one person had been brave enough to speak to her at all, and that hadn't gone very well. Delvin had approached her at the bar before he had realized her mood and told her congratulations on the new house and title. He had heard of her purchase and her anointing of Thane earlier in the day when Courier had come down to relay that the mission had been a success. She had not wanted to talk about it.

Because of this, an audible gasp could be heard around the Flagon when one of the newer members, Ravyn Imyan, decided to take the seat next to her an attempt to start a conversation. Vekel shook his head no. Ravyn waved him off. Sapphire tried to distract him away from talking with her, but Ravyn ignored her efforts. For whatever reason, Ravyn seemed determined that he was going to have a conversation with the obviously distraught Kaiya.

"Whatcha drinkin?" he asked first, trying to test the waters. She didn't respond, only shooting him an aggravated look before she downed yet another bottle of mead.

"You just going to sit there all night and not speak to anyone?" he taunted, his tone becoming more aggressive after being brushed off by her. "You can do that at your fancy new house. Why be here?"

She ignored him again, staring ahead while the rest of the Flagon tensed in apprehension.

"Are you serious?" he began to laugh, looking around at the other guild members for someone else to join in with him on his attack. "Is she serious right now?"

Delvin spoke a warning. "Lay off it, Ravyn. Leave her alone."

"Oh she'd like that wouldn't she?" he taunted, turning his attention back to the angry thief on the stool next to him. His voice was quieter now, trying to keep his words away from the eavesdropping patrons around the bar. "You'd like it if I left you alone, but I don't think I will. I think I want you to speak to me, so I can see what is so godsdamned special about you. Why everyone in this godsdamned guild worships the ground you walk on. Why even the tyrant of a Guildmaster we have seems to think you're special."

Kaiya continued to ignore him. The only sign she even heard him was a look of annoyance that was beginning to take hold on her face. Ravyn clearly did not like being ignored.

"Why do you think you have the right to ignore me, huh?" he leaned closer, everything about him sending off warning signs that he was in an aggressive mood. "I'm speaking to you!"

He pulled on her arm that was closest to him, trying to break her attention by yanking her hand away from her necklace. The contact got a reaction from her, but not much of one. She simply glared at him before returning her gaze forward and her hand back to her necklace.

The tension of the room was growing now, everyone on a knife's edge wondering if they should step in or if Kaiya would rather handle it herself. A few "Ravyn, no" or "stop Ravyn" comments could be heard around the room, but he ignored all of them.

"What's this, huh?" he asked, not able to hide the aggression in his tone as he reached across her and put his hand on the necklace she always wore. "Why are you always touching this thing huh? You keep caressing it like a child's plaything."

At this, Vekel stepped in. "Ravyn, stop. You're being ridiculous."

"I'm being ridiculous?!" Ravyn asked with a laugh, "I'm being ridiculous? What about her? How is it not ridiculous that she sits there ignoring everyone around her except for that godsdamned necklace, huh?"

He turned his attention back to her and was momentarily jarred by her change in expression. She no longer stared vacantly before her, but now her eyes bored into his own with a warning. He was not deterred.

"It's crazy really," he spoke quietly again "how much you rely on that godsdamned necklace. Is it sentimental or somethin? A gift from a lover?" He laughed without humor.

Kaiya's eyes bored into him and everyone around her could feel the void itself emanating from her glare.

"Nah it's not a lover, you're too crazy for that. Too crazy for it to be a gift from family too. I know a girl with daddy issues when I see one." He continued to flip the ring around the chain as he taunted her. "No this here is a gift from a father _figure_ , a replacement dad, isn't it?"

Kaiya's entire body became rigid but inside she was a firestorm. Ravyn was playing a dangerous game.

"Aw, I was right wasn't I?" he mocked, finally releasing the ring as he rested his chin on his hand. "Where is your stand in father now, Kaiya? Why did he leave you all alone with nothing but a cheap silver ring?"

The last shred of restraint Kaiya had shattered into pieces to be replaced by the fiery, unbridled rage that she tried so hard to keep dormant. She had lost. The rage had consumed her.

She leapt out of her barstool at the Dunmer next to her, his wide eyes the only response he had time to give. In an instant, she was straddling him on the stone floor as her fists wailed into his face. The Flagon came alive, all of her fellow guild members trying to pull her off of him to no avail. She was unstoppable when she was like this.

After a few hard punches to his now bloodied face, she horrified everyone around her when she unsheathed her dragonbone dagger and held it to the terrified Dunmer's throat. She finally spoke, her voice as cold as the grave.

"You see this dagger?" She held it up to show it to him, close enough that he could feel the enchantments coming off of the dragonbone. He nodded quickly, his eyes full of fear. "This is the dagger I used to kill the Emperor of Tamriel. Isn't it beautiful?"

"Please Kaiya, I'm sorry" Ravyn's voice shook as he quivered below her.

"I said, isn't it beautiful?" she used the blade of the dagger to lift his chin to make eye contact with her as tears flowed out of his swollen eyes in terror.

"Y-y-yes," he stuttered, "it's b-b-beautiful, Kaiya."

"I think so too," she smiled like a predator as she returned the blade to his throat. "I would hate to sully the reputation of this dagger, but if you ever speak of him again I will not hesitate to slit your throat, do you understand me?"

He nodded quickly, his breath ragged with relief that she seemed to be only threatening him.

"I said, do you understand me, Ravyn? I need to hear you say it." She used the blade of her dagger to scrape along the side of his face, its sharpness effectively shaving off several hairs along its trajectory.

"Y-y-yes I underst-stand, Kaiya." He gulped, hoping this would appease her.

"Good." Her voice was stone. "Now stay the fuck away from me."

She pushed herself off of him to stand, knees and hands shaky from the pumping adrenaline. As she looked around her, she felt her heart drop. Her fellow guild members stood, gawking at her in sheer horror. They had all just watched her snap and were all witnesses to her rage. The rage she tried so hard to conceal from anyone. They saw it. They were afraid of her.

The sudden shock of being pulled out of her daze churned in her stomach. She was mortified. What had she done? She found herself clumsily backing away from all of them as they stared. "I'm sorry," she mumbled, barely loud enough to hear. "I shouldn't've done that." Her eyes were wide, looking from Tonilia to Vekel to Delvin, hoping someone would say something, do something. Fight her, yell at her, something. Instead they just continued to stare back with blank, horrified faces. "I have to go."

She forced herself to turn and run out of the Flagon, through the cistern and out the secret entrance for what she knew would be the last time. She could never go back. It was too soon to join a guild, she should have known better.


	34. Chapter 34

_16th of Sun's Dawn 4E203_

Kaiya ran towards her new home, away from the cistern. Away from the life she had grown to love. Away to never look back. She didn't bother lifting her hood to cover her from the rain that fell in sheets around her. It seemed too fitting a setting to ruin with protection. She deserved the storm.

She fumbled with her new keys at the door to her new house as the rain continued to pelt into her, the icy chill from the wind biting at her through her soaked leathers. After finding the right key and eventually getting it into the keyhole, she threw open the door to her new home and stepped inside. She slammed the door behind her and spared a moment in panic to lean her weight against the door, letting her mind make sense of what she had to do.

Her moves were frantic, a panicked attempt to gather her belongings into her large pack. She had to get out of there before anyone followed her. She couldn't look them in the eyes after what she had done. She saw their fear. She hated it. She hated when people she cared for looked at her that way. It had happened too many times and try as she might, she could never protect them all from what they should fear most. Her.

She began throwing robes and loose clothing into her pack, grabbing at books and alchemy ingredients. There was no logic behind her erratic packing. She just knew she needed to put things in the pack. Then she'd leave.

"My Thane?" A groggy voice could be heard from the stairs as Iona made her way up to see what the commotion was about. "What are you doing?"

"I need to get out of here Iona. Now." Kaiya's words were clipped and offered no explanation. Iona stood at a distance, taking in the hectic scene before her.

"Why do you need to leave?"

"I just do," Kaiya snapped, her eyes never leaving her erratic packing long enough to look Iona's way. "Don't ask questions right now okay? Just… don't."

"Okayyy…" Iona spoke warily. "Can I help?"

"What? No!" she seemed flustered by Iona's questions. Wasn't it obvious that she didn't want to be bothered right now? She could feel her anger ebbing and flowing beneath the surface. It terrified her to know that she could snap again at any moment from the way things had been going for her lately.

She could do one good deed though. She could free Iona. She could protect her.

"Iona you don't need to be around me right now. I'm too dangerous." Her eyes finally lifted from their mission to meet her housecarl's, staring back with utter confusion. "You should get out of here and stay away from me."

"I'm sworn to…" Iona started to object before Kaiya cut her off.

"That's an order, Iona!" Kaiya bellowed. "Get out of here! Go to Mistveil Keep. Get away from me right now. Protect yourself. I just…" Kaiya's entire body seemed to vibrate from her nerves. She was cracking. "I just can't bear the thought of someone being around me if I crack tonight, okay? I don't know what I'll do."

Iona swore that Kaiya heard her gulp in fear as she nodded. "As you wish my Thane" she said before she hopped around the chaotic Breton and made her way out of the house, letting the door slam behind her.

Kaiya sighed with relief. In this moment she couldn't be more thankful for Iona's loyalty in unquestionably listening to her Thane's command. Iona wasn't stupid. She may have just saved her own life.

Zipping around the house and piling the last items she thought she may need into her pack, Kaiya's mind haphazardly put a plan together. She'd head out tonight and go back to Whiterun, or maybe even her house in the Pale. She needed total isolation when she was like this. She couldn't be trusted.

Her scheming was interrupted with a swift knock at her front door. Three loud bangs. It could not go unnoticed. Kaiya had a feeling she knew exactly who was standing at the door, but his bold knocks could not go unanswered. She owed him that much.

She opened the door in one large, dramatic motion and let her eyes scan the soaking wet Breton that stood before her.

"What are you doing here, Delvin?" she asked as she moved back away from the door, leaving it open for Delvin to step inside.

"You're a smart girl, Kaiya. I'm pretty sure you can figure it out." His voice gave no hints as to what he was thinking. The door slammed behind him as he stood in her home, flinching at the sound.

"Look Delvin," she began, returning to her frantic attempt at packing, "I know what I did was fucked up, okay? You don't have to worry about chastising me though. I'm leaving. I won't bother you guys anymore."

"What?" Delvin's response was thick with surprise. "Is that why you think I'm here, to berate you for what you did?"

Kaiya didn't answer. She didn't have to. The look of confusion on her face said it all.

"Divines, Kaiya," Delvin sighed. One of his hands made its way to the back of his neck, rubbing it anxiously as his questioning gaze fixed on her. "I was coming here to see if you were okay."

"No I'm not okay!" Kaiya shrieked, "That's why I have to go Delvin! I am a pressure plate! I tried to warn Mercer, I did. I told him this would happen but no, he said we could fix it. He said it would be okay because I had my family but guess what, looks like he was wrong. News flash everyone! The omniscient Guildmaster was wrong!"

Her rant was not directed at Delvin. In fact, it wasn't directed at anyone in particular, just a rant into the void. Her erratic ramblings matched her erratic movements. Delvin knew he had to do something quick before she broke in half. He reached out and grabbed her hands and did not release them when she tried to pull away. He held her wrists and pulled her to face him so she could see the seriousness in his face as he spoke to her.

"Kaiya stop. Stop fighting me! Stop!" To get her to stop fighting, he slammed her back against the wall, pinning her hands to her chest. "Kaiya! Stop and listen to me!"

The sound of Delvin yelling caught her off guard and she froze, giving him the opportunity to speak. She listened.

"Kaiya it's okay. We're okay. No one faults you for what you did back there. Yeah, it was horrifying, but he asked for it. Mercer is handling him. It's okay."

"Mercer?" she whispered in confusion. Why did Delvin say his name? What did he have to do with this?

"Yes, Kaiya. Mercer is handling Ravyn and to put it bluntly, I don't envy the Dunmer. I've never seen Mercer so angry after I told him what happened."

"What did you say happened?" Kaiya was confused. Delvin was being sweet, but he was protecting her too much. He was being unfair.

"I told him that Ravyn was bullying you. I told him that he pushed you and pushed you until you gave him what he deserved." He paused, taking a deep breath to steady his nerves. "I told him the truth."

"No you didn't," Kaiya spat as she shook her head. "Delvin I snapped back there. I let crazy Kaiya out. I acted like a godsdamned savage and you shouldn't have told him any differently. I saw the look on everyone's faces. They are terrified of me, Delvin."

Despite the tense conversation, Delvin found himself chuckling at her answer. Mercer was right about her. She was so hard on herself. "Good!" he laughed, "it's not a bad thing that they're scared of you Kaiya. You showed everyone tonight why you shouldn't be underestimated. We've all had that moment. We've all shown the guild exactly why we are formidable at some point or another. You think Mercer's never done that?"

"It's not the same," Kaiya spoke quietly now. "I can cause a lot more destruction if I throw a tantrum like that. I'm dangerous enough as it is Delvin but when I can't control myself? I'm a liability. A shock rune. You can't trust me."

Delvin was quiet for a moment as he thought about how to respond. Kaiya had always been so reserved. Not only was she open and raw, but she was scared. Scared of herself. He hadn't expected that.

"Kaiya, look at me," he spoke quietly, forcing her to concentrate to hear what he said. "Yes, you're dangerous. You're the dragonborn. You're an assassin. Not just any assassin either, but the Listener. I know. I know all of it Kaiya and I've never been afraid of you before. I do trust you. Now I need you to tell me why you don't trust yourself."

Tears began to stream out of the corners of Kaiya's eyes at Delvin's words. She felt as though her heart was breaking anew at his kindness. Vex was lucky to have him. In an instant, she realized that he was truly her friend. Mercer had meant it when he said that the family could help her. She didn't have to bear her burdens alone. All of the hope and love she had felt for the guild came pouring out of her as she let her head fall against Delvin's shoulder.

"Because I'm broken, Delvin." The tears fell freely now and Delvin released her wrists so he could wrap his arms around her. "I thought I could push on like I had before. I thought it would get better, but it's not. I'm broken and I can't fix myself and I'm scared. I don't know what to do."

He was quiet for a moment, only whispering out "shh it's okay" as he rubbed her back. As he felt her body begin to relax under him, he spoke. "What broke you, love?"

"She did." The anger was palpable in her voice now as she gripped Delvin's leathers. He felt his heartbeat increase with a tinge of fear as he remembered her actions from earlier when she was angry, but he told her he trusted her so trust her he would.

"Astrid?"

Kaiya felt herself cringe at the mention of her name. She hadn't spoken it in a year for fear of what it would do to her. To the memories. Part of her feared it would bring her back.

"Yes," she spoke softly now although anger could still be heard on the fringe of her words. "She took everything from me. My home. My family." Her grip on Delvin's leathers increased. "I know you knew her Delvin and I'm sorry. I know you loved her once. But she wasn't good enough for you Delvin. She had given me the only family I had ever really known. The only place I felt accepted. And then she took it from me and for what? Fucking pride. I hate pride. She deserved what she got."

"I know she did." Delvin felt his stomach turn at the mention of Astrid's death. He had only heard rumors and they had broken his heart. Hearing it from Kaiya's mouth was almost too much to bear, but she was the only one that knew. He fought back his tears as he considered her words. This wasn't about him. It was about Kaiya.

"Tell me about them, Kai." He continued to rub her back and he spoke softly, trying his best to comfort her. Hoping he could help her heal.

"Who?" she asked, her head still on his shoulder.

"Your family. Not Astrid. Tell me about the rest of your family. The ones you loved. What were they like?"

She was quiet for a moment before she spoke. "Veezara was the last of the Shadowscales. The last of a dying breed."

"I met him once. Tell me about him."

"He was kind and loyal. He jumped in front of an assassination attempt on Astrid once, ya know. He took the blade. He served her faithfully and lost his life for it."

"No, don't tell me how he died. Tell me how he lived. What did you love about him?"

"He was quiet and contemplative. He would always ask the questions no one else thought to ask. He was a great listener." Despite her broken heart as she spoke of him for the first time in months, Kaiya felt herself smile at the happy memories that flooded her as she thought of her friend.

"He sounds like a good friend," Delvin replied honestly.

"He was."

"Who else? Tell me about another one."

"Arnbjorn was an ass," Kaiya laughed as she spoke, adoration clearly in her insult. It sounded more like a term of endearment.

"Oh yeah, I remember him," Delvin laughed and cringed at the same time. They had an awkward relationship at best.

"Yeah I bet you do," Kaiya laughed again before growing more serious. "Arnbjorn put up a wall to everyone at first, but once he lowered it and you got to know him, he was a big softie. He felt deeply, which is why I guess he had the wall up so high. Protecting himself. But we all loved him for his gruff demeanor because we all saw it for what it was. Armor. We would pick on him about it, but it was all in love."

"Go on," Delvin encouraged as Kaiya got quiet.

"Gabriella was my friend." It was obvious that they were getting closer to her heart now as they went down the ranks. "She was the first woman I had to talk to after coming to Skyrim. I could be myself with her. She accepted my crazy. I could talk to her about men and she would get mad, sad or happy with me. She was sharp and witty and so damn funny," Kaiya laughed as she remembered her friend. "I wonder sometimes what she would say about Mercer."

Delvin laughed at the thought. An overprotective, dangerous, assassin friend to the dangerous assassin? Delvin assumed that even Mercer would gulp in nervousness at that.

"Nazir, Babette and Cicero are still around, but I don't see them much anymore." Regret filled her words now. "I love them and always will, but I'm just not ready."

"I'm sure they understand, love."

"Cicero was the first one to see me lose my temper," she confessed. "He is the one that coined the name 'crazy Kaiya' for when I went all ragey like that. He loved it," she laughed. "It was on Commander Maro, the one who had ordered the strike against the sanctuary. I didn't make his death easy."

Delvin stilled for a moment at the recollection of what he had heard about the death of Commander Maro. He had always assumed it was legend but now that he knew the power in the broken woman in his arms, he knew it was all true. He felt a shiver run down his spine as he realized what she was capable of.

"What about Festus?" Delvin asked innocently, knowing that he was the only brother Kaiya hadn't mentioned. As he felt her tense under his arms he knew that Festus had been special to her and his stomach turned. This one was closest to her heart.

"I don't want to talk about Festus," she whispered, tears beginning to flow freely from her eyes again.

"I know, but I want to know about him Kai. Tell me something you loved about him. Tell me one story." Delvin encouraged her, knowing this is the only way she could heal.

"I called him Uncle Festus. He called me Priestess," she laughed, remembering.

"Priestess?" Delvin asked, intrigued. "I wouldn't have expected that to ever be a nickname of yours."

"He was the first person I met in Skyrim. I was wearing a priest robe as a disguise. He knew it immediately." She laughed again as she tightened her grip on Delvin's leathers. "He fed me when I was starving. He told me to come find him. He was the first one that saw something in me, Delvin. He was gruff and mean and grumpy but he saw something in me. He saw my potential. He taught me so much," her voice cracked with emotion as she continued, her eyes streaming with fresh tears. "He's the one that taught me not to be afraid of my own strengths and showed me how to use them to my advantage. He taught me nothing was a weakness if you knew how to cover it up." Her grip tightened further and Delvin knew that speaking about him was ripping her wound open but it would be worth it. He hoped.

"The last time I saw him before…" she paused. It was obvious she had never spoken this story aloud before and she did not know how she wanted to reference his death. "Before… it happened… he gave me a ring that had been his when he was younger. He said he wanted me to have it because I was the daughter he had wanted. I remember laughing and reminding him that he had already had a daughter. I'll never forget his response."

She laughed now at the memory before doing her best Festus impression. It was pretty good. "He said 'I said daughter I wanted, Priestess! Are you even listening? Those other girls aren't my daughters because I happened to knock up their mothers. Have you learned nothing from me? You choose your family and that's the only family that matters. Now I'm trying to pay you a compliment godsdammit so pay attention because I'll only do this once. Take the damn ring and say thank you and leave me be before I regret this.'"

They were quiet for a moment while the story Kaiya spoke lingered around them. Delvin wanted her to speak if she wasn't finished so he didn't dare interrupt her reverie.

"Thank you, Delvin," she said as she pulled back away from his chest, looking him in the eyes for the first time since he arrived. "You were right. It's much better to think about them as they were. Not as they died."

Delvin smiled as his eyes darted to the ring she wore around her neck. He whispered a "may I?" as he reached to touch it. She nodded nervously, but allowed him nonetheless. "Is this the ring?" he asked although he knew the answer.

"Yes." Kaiya spoke timidly as her eyes stayed trained on Delvin's face.

"Does it have a name?"

"The Nightweaver's Band."

"Hm, Nightweaver, I like that."

"Me too. That's why I introduced myself as Nightweaver to contracts. I felt it was how Festus would want to be honored." She laughed easily now, "God how crazy is that? No wonder I'm broken. I'm sitting here telling a fellow thief that I honor my assassin mentor's memory by introducing myself a certain way to my assassination targets. Sweet Sithis, I never had a shot."

Delvin laughed at her confession. "Aye love well, it's like we say in the Flagon, we're all here cause we ain't all there."

She laughed and they let silence settle in for a moment once again, letting the words of their conversation seep in.

"What about Mercer?" Delvin asked, breaking into the silence.

Kaiya looked up, confused. "What about him?"

"Does he have anything to do with how you feel broken?"

Kaiya grimaced at the question. Forget Veezara for knowing the questions to ask; Delvin put him to shame. She respected it about Delvin though. He was really trying to get to the bottom of it to help.

"Of course he does," she laughed without humor. "Wanna know why I was keeping to myself in the Flagon before the little incident?"

Delvin nodded in response.

"Because Mercer told me that I had a duty to report to him, even if he was in the middle of fucking Haelga. I was just supposed to knock first."

"Divines' sake, really?" Delvin asked, aggravated at his friend's poor decision making skills. "Why would he say a thing like that?"

"I don't know." Kaiya answered honestly, shrugging her shoulders. "But the thing is Delvin, the thing is," now her voice was getting louder, more animated. "I know he probably didn't fuck her today, but he was all too willing to make me think he had. I don't know what happened between us, but he said that today just to hurt me and that's what hurt the most. Not that he was talking about another woman but that he did so merely to hurt me." Her voice was high pitched now, insinuating that this rant was an ongoing list of questions. "Seriously, why? He's the one that said nothing could happen between us. Why hurt me?!"

"Oh that's an easy one, love." Delvin replied with a small smile. "Because he's scared."

"That sounds like you're making excuses for him." She crossed her arms over her chest, aggravated at the bro code that seemed to be infiltrating their conversation.

"Oh there's no excuse love," Delvin laughed, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. "He acted like an ass. This is an explanation, not an excuse."

"Well then what the hell is he afraid of?" Kaiya's arms flew up in exasperation. She was weary from the effort of trying to figure that man out.

"I'm surprised you can't see it, seeing as the two of you are so damn similar," Delvin replied with a smirk of a smile on his face. "He told you nothing could happen, but that's not what I saw against the wall in his backyard the other night." He snickered at the memory.

"I'm not following." Kaiya was aware that what happened in his yard wasn't the epitome of the 'nothing can happen' mentality that Mercer had adopted, but that was the point. He was confusing the hell out of her and then lashing out to hurt her. "And how the hell are we similar?"

"Because you're both scared of yourselves," Delvin laughed at the obviousness of the statement. "You're scared you're going to snap and lose it on us or something. He's afraid he may snap and I don't know, fall for you. He tells you it can't happen because that's what he is supposed to say to protect himself. His actions obviously say otherwise. Watch what he does love, not what he says."

"Gods I hope you don't follow your own advice when it comes to me," she laughed awkwardly, running her hands through her hair. "Because if my actions back in the Flagon are any indication, you shouldn't be anywhere near me."

"I do watch your actions," he responded, lifting her chin to look him in the eye. "That's why I'm here. Think about it this way, sweetheart. You think it's silly that Mercer is afraid of himself when it comes to you, right? Because there's nothing to be afraid of?"

She nodded in agreement. "Right, because I know it's scary but it's worth it."

"Right," he smiled at her in understanding. "That's the same way I feel about how you treat yourself. It's silly because I see so much restraint. Ravyn had to pester you to a breaking point and even then, you stayed your hand. You see that as losing control, but I see it as less than what some of us would have done in the same situation. And having you around, it may be scary and we don't want to cross you," he laughed, rubbing his neck again in nervousness, "but it's worth it. Because you're worth having around."

She rolled her eyes at his answer, but before she could respond he continued. "No, not just because you're a great thief Kaiya. I know that's what you're thinking. No. We'd want you around anyway because you're funny. Because you're entertaining. Because you're a good listener and a loyal friend. You tell great stories and you make everyone forget that they have their own demons they fight on a daily basis. You make us happy, Kaiya. That's why we want you around. That's why you're worth it."

Kaiya's eyes clouded over with moisture at the heartfelt words of her friend. She didn't know how to respond, so she just chewed on her bottom lip.

"So if you leave, I hope you'll come back. I hope you trust us like we trust you. I hope that no matter what happened between you and Mercer you realize he was right about one thing." He bent forward and looked into her eyes, stressing the importance of his words. "You have a family here and you don't have to go it alone."

Kaiya grabbed Delvin and pulled him into a tight hug as the tears flowed once again from her eyes. She squeezed him tight enough that she worried he couldn't breathe, but she couldn't bring herself to let him go yet. She wasn't strong enough. "Thank you, Delvin" she whispered into his ear. "You're a great friend."

He hugged her back whole heartedly, squeezing her just as tightly as she squeezed him. He hoped he could show her in his hug alone that he meant every word he had said. He felt her tense as she started to pull away and that's when he knew it wouldn't be enough. She was still planning on leaving.

"You're still going to go, aren't you?"

"I have to, Delvin. I need to figure some stuff out. I love you and the guild and you're my family, but I can't go back in there just yet. I can't face him."

"Ravyn or Mercer?" Delvin asked, not knowing which she feared facing most.

She scoffed in reply. "Oh please, I'm not worried about Ravyn if Mercer got ahold of him," she waved her hand in front of her as if dismissing the notion. "Mercer. I mean Mercer. He makes me crazy, Delvin. He's part of the reason I lost control tonight and as long as I feel the way I do about him, I can't look at him."

Her eyes welled with new tears as she thought about not seeing him everyday. About not training with him anymore. About not seeing that smirk of his again and the pain of never having his lips on hers. She had fallen for him, despite his maddening enigmatic nature, and she needed some time. If she was going to be just another member of the guild to him, she had to learn how to see him as just a guildmaster.

"Will you come back?" he asked, letting his hand drift to her shoulder. "We'll miss you, you know."

"Oh you'll get over me so fast," she joked, but her heart wasn't in it. "I'll miss you much more than you'll miss me. Hell, you'll still have the Flagon. I'll be drinking alone."

"Well since I can't convince you to stay, can I at least help you pack?"

"No, but there is something you can do for me Delvin. You can tell him I'm leaving. Not tonight. Give him the night to be by himself. But tomorrow. Tell him I left and tell him…" she paused, not sure how far she wanted to take this message. "Tell him I said 'eyes front.'"


	35. Chapter 35

_17th of Sun's Dawn 4E203_

This was it. It was time for her to go. She had taken off her wet leathers and packed them away, choosing instead to dress in her black mage robes. They were always good for traveling, plus she didn't feel as though she had a right to wear her Thieves Guild leathers since she was deserting.

She took a look around her new home as she spun the Nightweaver's Band around her neck, taking it in one last time before she made her departure. The house was new to her, but it had already begun to feel like home. Perhaps it wasn't the house. Perhaps Riften just felt like home.

Suddenly, a booming knock on her front door broke her out of her silent goodbyes. She rolled her eyes at the sound before approaching the door and flinging it open.

"Delvin, I told you I was…"

She stopped dead in her tracks at the sight before her. It wasn't Delvin. There Mercer stood, bracing himself against her door frame with his arms as his head hung down. Water dripped from his hair, his leathers, his nose, and had begun to form a puddle at her feet. He raised his head to look her in the eyes, his face pained and showing signs of losing a tense inner battle. The green in his eyes seemed to shine against the dreary backdrop of the stormy night, those shining emeralds once again out of place against such encompassing shadows. Her heart caught in her throat at the sight.

"Mercer…" she breathed, but never got the chance to finish her thought.

In two long strides he was on her, his hands grasping either side of her face and his lips crushing into hers. She fought it at first. She didn't want to need it. But when he pulled back and touched his forehead to hers, he uttered the words that made the hastily built wall surrounding her heart crumble around her.

"You can't leave."

His lips returned to hers, hungry and aching. She kissed him back now, allowing him to invade her space. Water continued to drip off of him, but now it fell onto her. The robes she wore became soaked with the rain from his leathers, her hands drenched as they made their way into his hair. A boom of thunder could be heard from outside through the open door, causing Mercer to shove it shut with his foot, never letting his lips leave hers. One hand stayed on her face as he poured all of his turmoil into their kiss, showing her just how much he meant what he had said. His other hand wandered to hold her firmly against him at her lower back. Her arms wrapped around him, pulling him closer, closer, closer. She couldn't get close enough. She was just as hungry for him as he was for her.

He began walking her backwards until she felt her back hit the table in her home, currently covered in plates and what should have been her dinner. Breaking the kiss for a moment, Mercer shoved everything on the table onto the floor before returning his lips to hers and letting his hands wander to grab her behind her thighs. Hoisting her up, he sat her down on the table without breaking their kiss. It was if they were each the air the other needed to breathe.

She grabbed onto his wet hair with both hands, crushing his lips to hers with a force that would probably bruise both of them later, but they didn't care. She opened her mouth to him and he invaded with his tongue, hers matching his in almost choreographed movements. The only sounds were the light moans that escaped her lips that he swallowed hungrily, replying with masculine and pained grunts of his own. She took in his scent and let herself become enveloped in it. Not the smell of wet leather and smoke, but the smell that was distinctly him. Water on stones, the very smell of the riverbed emanated from his skin. She loved that smell.

He let his mouth travel from her lips to her jawline and down to her neck, nipping and sloppily dragging his tongue across her skin, tasting her as if she would disappear at any moment. It was when he began untying the sash of her robes to undress her that she finally snapped back to reality.

"Mercer wait," she said as she pushed against his chest.

He let out an exasperated "Hmm?" as she pushed him off of her. He let his hands fall to the table on either side of her to brace himself as he stared at her, his eyes hooded with unbridled lust.

"What is this? What do you want?" she asked, her hand still resting on his chest.

"I thought I was showing you," he replied with an arched eyebrow, his voice husky and deep. It took all her concentration not to let the gruffness in his voice affect her.

"No I need you to tell me," she stated sternly, "with words."

He let out a sigh as he hung his head, realizing this conversation would not be as easy as he'd hoped. "Delvin told me you were leaving. He said he wasn't supposed to tell me until morning but since it was my fault you were going, he thought I should know." He stood up straight at this, running his hands through his hair. "He was mad Kaiya. Mad at me."

"So are you here to do his bidding or are you here for yourself?" irritation leached into her tone, her arms crossing over her chest.

"Both?" he stated as a question, guessing at the right answer. "No one wants you to leave Kai. I'm here for all of us."

"No." She stated plainly as she shook her head at him. "That's not good enough." She stood up off the table at this, invading his space even though she had to crane her neck to look up at him. "You've done this to me before. You give me what you think I want only to take it back later. Now you're here finally giving me what you know I've wanted all along just to keep me here as if you're taking one for the team? No. This is exactly why I'm leaving."

"So you'd betray your guild because I haven't given you what you want?" His voice was louder now, booming in anger.

"Betray the guild?" she scoffed, shaking her head at the notion. "Mercer, you don't know what betrayal is."

"Try me." The intensity of his response surprised her. He looked crazed, his jaw tight and his teeth clenched. Perhaps she had been wrong to assume he knew nothing of betrayal.

"Look," she spoke calmer now, trying to defuse some of the tension that had been building. "It's obvious I'm not ready to be in a guild so soon after… the thing… that happened. You saw the effects of what I did in the Flagon. It's not safe for anyone if I remain."

"How… selfish.. Of you." He spat the words with with sheer contempt in his eyes. The look made her wince.

"Selfish!?" she cried, "I'm leaving to protect them! I'm leaving the only family I've got to keep them safe from me!"

"Don't lie to me!" He boomed, closing the distance between them and towering over her to cast an imposing visage. "You're choosing what you think would be best for the guild? You're no martyr, Kaiya. Get off your damn high horse. You're doing this for yourself."

"And you just want me to stay for your own benefit! So now who's selfish?" her pitched had grown higher in desperation as she frantically searched for a way to get control of this argument. She was afraid he was right.

"What in Oblivion do you want, Kaiya!?" his voice was frantic to match hers, sheer frustration to match the desperation. "First it wasn't good enough that the guild wanted you to stay, you wanted me to. Then I told you I wanted you to stay and now that makes me selfish?" He paced, running his hands through his hair. "Well you know what Kaiya, you're right!" he laughed humorlessly as he put his arms out to the side in exasperation. "I'm selfish. I'm a selfish thief."

She didn't respond. She had nothing to say. He was right, she was making this impossible for him. She stared back at him with tears in her eyes, causing him to stop his pacing and stand before her.

"What do you want me to say, Kaiya?" he asked softly, grabbing the tops of her shoulders in exasperation.

"I asked what you want, Mercer. Not what the guild wants. Not what Delvin wants. I want to know what _you_ want."

"I want you to stay. You're needed here." He let his arms fall by his sides. He hoped this answer would suffice.

"But _you_ don't need me, is that right? You've said this before, so let me be clear. What do you need, Mercer?" She crossed her arms over her chest again as she squared off towards him.

"That's what I thought I was showing you, Footpad." He used his nickname for her as a term of endearment, throwing as much charm as he had into his statement. "We all… I... need you to stay."

She threw her hands up at him in frustration as she stomped over to the door. As she went to open it, he reached over and slammed it shut from behind her. His presence was suddenly jarring, so close that she could feel his breath on her neck, his hand bracing himself up as he stood over her. "I said I need you to stay, Kaiya. What more do you want me to say?"

She found herself looking down, ashamed at what she was asking Mercer to vocalize. She never thought she'd have to ask for this. "You need me to stay because I'm a good thief and you're my guildmaster, Mercer. But I want more than that and you know it. If you're going to come to my home and kiss me the way you just kissed me to get me to stay, I need to know it's from Mercer, not the Guildmaster. I need to know it's because you need me to stay for you, not for the guild. Not just because I'm a good thief. Or because I'm powerful. Or the Dragonborn."

He was quiet for a moment as he pondered her words. She stood still, cringing each time she felt his breath hit her as he thought. The silence was torture.

He finally spoke, his voice lower than she had ever heard from him, rumbling out of his chest like a rockslide. "That didn't matter to me on our first night together, did it? That night in the Bee and Barb. I didn't care about that then, did I?"

He smiled against her hair as he heard her gasp. He had never mentioned that night since she joined the guild. She had started to wonder if he remembered it or if it had even happened at all.

"You thought I forgot, didn't you?" his voice was softer now. His free hand that wasn't bracing himself against the door came up and rested on her shoulder before slowly sliding down her arm. The touch caused her skin to come alive, her nerves sparking as if she were on fire.

"Oh I tried to forget, Footpad. I tried." He bent over so that he could speak directly into her ear, earning a shudder from her in response. "I tried to see you as just another member of the guild. I tried not to want you. I tried to be stern and even cruel to get you to stop looking at me like you did so I could try to forget, but I couldn't."

He continued to rub his free hand up and down her arm as he spoke. He rested his cheek against her hair, taking in her scent of pine and sunshine. It was an incredibly intimate gesture and it caused Kaiya's heart to pound in her chest. _What was he doing to her?_

"That night I didn't care what you could provide the guild. I didn't care that you were powerful. I didn't care, hell I didn't even know, that you were Dragonborn. I just wanted you. I know I acted like an ass today, but when Delvin told me you were leaving I couldn't stomach it. I didn't even think about what I was doing, all I know is that I ended up at your doorstep. I didn't think about what I would say. I just knew I had to do everything in my power to keep you from leaving. Not because of the guild. Not because of the coin. But because I need you to stay."

Kaiya's stomach flipped, sending shockwaves through her every nerve. _Was he really saying this? After all this time, was he finally giving in to what was between them?_ He tugged on her shoulder to turn her around to face him. He towered over her as he leaned against the door, so he lifted her chin to ensure she kept looking up at him. Somehow, her heartbeat picked up even more at the look in his eyes. They were burning with intensity, but yet she believed this was the most honest he had ever been with her. He had stripped himself bare, exposing his vulnerability to her and was urging her with those eyes to believe him.

"Fuck the consequences, Kaiya. We'll figure it out. Feel this?" He put his hand to her heart, feeling the erratic and pounding heartbeat. Kaiya felt as if she could hear it, the blood rushing around in her veins so fast, a drumming in her ears. _Could he hear it too?_ He then took her hand and placed it over his own heart for her to feel the reaction she had on him. It was the same. Pounding and erratic. "I'm tired of fighting this and I don't want you to go."

At this he bent over and placed a kiss on her cheek, then her jaw, then her neck. She stood frozen, yet her entire body trembled with the sheer force of her racing heart. Then he whispered "I need you to stay" and any hesitation or fear she had been holding onto shattered into pieces.

She grabbed the front of his leathers and pulled him to her, staring straight into his eyes. "That wasn't so hard, was it?" she forced out through gritted teeth before she crashed her lips into his. She knew he could be just saying this to keep her around. She knew that by sunrise, all of this may not matter, but she didn't care. She was going to get one more night with her Mercer before it all disappeared.

He lifted her up and pinned her against the wall as she wrapped her legs around his waist. He devoured her lips, her neck, her throat. He kissed her as if he were starving and she willingly gave herself to him. She moved her wet fingers to the clasps on his guild leathers and started to unfasten them as quickly as she could. When she opened the last one, he shrugged himself out of it and let the wet leather drop to the floor with a splat. She was rewarded for her efforts with a thin, cotton undershirt that he wore underneath his leathers, damp and clinging to his body. She watched in awe as the shirt stretched across his chest as it rose and fell with his frantic breathing. Her hands ran over his pectorals and stomach as she stared, a smirk on his face as he watched her worship of his body.

"I don't want you to take me by the door," she blurted out. "I want to take my time with you."

He laughed at her confession before lifting her from the wall and carrying her towards her bedroom. "I didn't really intend on taking you by the door," he joked as he laid her down, climbing to hover over her. "Well not tonight at least."

Her heart did a swan dive in her chest. Not tonight. As if there would be another night. The first of many. Her arms shot out to wrap around his neck as he bent down to kiss her, bracing himself on his forearms.

"Not tonight, huh?" she asked when he pulled back and sat before her on his knees.

"Nah not tonight," he said as he slowly untied the sash that held her robes closed. "But I intend to take you on every surface in this house." He slowly pulled the top of her robes open and kissed her collarbone before making his way lower down her increasingly exposed form, pulling back her robe a little at a time. "And in my house," he continued as his mouth worshipped her body. He grunted in surprise at the discovery that she wore no smallclothes underneath her robe, a wicked gleam in his eye as he shot her a look of approval. Each time he revealed more skin, he planted kisses over the new territory, claiming it for his own. "And in the training room. And on the Guildmaster's desk."

"It sounds like you've thought about this a time or two," she joked as her hands made their way to his hair. He looked up from his current position over her stomach, distracted from his task by her teasing. The corner of his mouth slowly curved up to match the mirth in his eyes, giving Kaiya the sexiest smirk she had ever seen. It was as if his every move had a direct connection to her nerves, shooting shock after shock through her very skin, all culminating in a sweet ache in her pelvis.

"You say that like you mind."

Kaiya dropped her head back onto the pillow at his words from the night they spent together so long ago. This was all too much. Every cell in her body was alive, practically firing off sparks as her heart skipped beats and jumped around her chest. She hadn't been with anyone in so long and she had the one man who was able to play her body like a lute grinning up at her from the space between her thighs.

"You're going to be the death of me, Mercer Frey."

She felt him laugh before placing a kiss on her inner thigh. "Well at least last the night for me, will you?"

She propped herself up on her elbows as she eyed him, biting her bottom lip. "I'll last as long as you let me, Guildmaster," she said innocently, her skin flushed and pink.

His eyes went wide at the sight of her, sucking in his next breath on a hiss. Apparently he was affected by all of this as much as she was. He crawled from his position at the foot of the bed until he was hovering over her again, as if the space between them had been too much for too long. She laid flat on her back, her blonde hair fanned out around her as she gazed at him, still biting her bottom lip.

"You can't look at me like that," he breathed. "I won't last long."

"Good thing round two is still on the table then."

She earned a growl in response as he crushed his lips to hers. Her legs wrapped around his waist and her hands roamed up his back under his shirt, feeling the hard muscles hidden under the fabric. She began to get frustrated that there was still so much fabric between them, her hands shoving his shirt out of the way in order to feel more of him. Mercer exhaled a laugh against her lips as he took the hint, pulling away from her to his knees to grab the neck of his shirt from the back, pulling it over his head. She was rewarded with the sight of his muscled chest, arms, and stomach, all bare before her, and grinned. _What a virile man._

"Mm," she moaned in approval, reaching up to grip his hair with both hands, "you have no idea what you do to me, Mercer." With a tug, she pulled him back down to her as her lips found his. Her hands roamed his torso freely, feeling the soft, dark hair that spattered his chest and stomach. She felt the plains of his abs, the wiry muscles of his biceps. He encouraged her with sharp intakes of breath that made her hungrier, bolder. She wanted to hear more of that, more of his eager sounds. Her hands found their way lower to the top of his trousers. Slipping two fingers past the band at his hips, she slid them back and forth, delicately skimming the skin of his lower abdomen. A small gasp escaped from Mercer's lips as he ripped his lips from hers, and buried his face in her neck.

"Fuck, Kaiya" he breathed heavily, concentrating on the movement of her fingers in the waistband of his trousers. "You can't stop teasing me for one godsdamned minute can you?"

His voice was husky with want and a wicked smile formed on her face at the sound. She loved that she was the one doing this to him, turning him into a panting mess without even removing all of his clothes.

"Is that what I do to you, Mercer?" she responded playfully. "Tease you?"

He broke away from the crook of her neck to place his forehead against hers, his eyes boring into her. "You have no idea what you do to me, Kaiya. Every day."

She began to slowly untie the laces of his trousers, reaching her hand in to touch his hardness through the thin fabric of his smallclothes. He inhaled in a hiss, his eyes slamming shut as if he was in pain. His reaction shot another shockwave through her body. This powerful man, so commanding and authoritative, was falling apart in her hands. Her small, delicate hands. The jolt of power was a headrush, and she wanted more. Sure, she had taken the souls from dragons, but that seemed to pale in comparison to the rush from bringing a man like Mercer, her Guildmaster, the terrifying tyrant, to his knees with just her hands.

She pushed his trousers lower on his hips to signal she wanted them gone. He happily complied, standing and pushing off his boots before letting his trousers fall to the floor. His smallclothes followed and joined the rest of his clothing in the pile while she smiled at the sight of his naked form. As he slowly began removing her boots, she took the opportunity to take him in, committing him to memory while she had the chance. The way his brow furrowed in concentration as he slid her boot off her foot, his biceps working and a light sheen of sweat on his chest catching the torchlight. How his hair, still damp from the rain, fell into his eyes as he moved, one hand instinctively brushing it out of his face in a move that was so familiar but so incredibly erotic in their current setting. The dark trail of hair that led from his flat stomach lower, lower, until it met with his proud erection, jutting straight out. Her eyes lingered on his painfully swollen hardness and she bit her lip in anticipation. As many times as she had tried to remember it in the time since they had first been together, she had never done it justice.

When her second boot fell to the ground, she heard him growl as he took in the sight before him. "I can feel you looking at it." His husky voice rippled across her skin like a tuning fork, an involuntary shudder rolling through her muscles in reaction. "Look at you," he continued as he palmed himself and gave a long stroke, "how did I keep myself away from you for so long?"

She bit her lip in response, wondering what she looked like to him at the moment, her open mage robes revealing her flushed and pink body for his perusal. "I don't know, but it's time you made up for making me wait so long."

His knees hit the foot of the bed as he began to climb back over her, one hand continuing to stroke himself as he moved. She swatted his hand away and replaced it with her own, caressing the painfully hard shaft that now rested between her legs.

"I tease you every day?" she finally responded to his previous statement. She tried to sound concerned but could not hide the lust seeping out of her words.

He returned his face to the crook of her neck as he tried to steady himself while she touched him. "You make me crazy." It was a whispered confession, but Kaiya heard it clearly. His voice sounded like he was in pain and she was not making it any easier. He grabbed her hand and moved it from between them before pinning her wrist to the bed by her head. Not to be outdone, he lowered his hips into hers, giving her aching core the friction she so badly desired.

Her response was immediate: a surprised moan freeing itself from her tight body, much louder than she anticipated. He lifted his head to watch his handiwork, a smirk plastered on his face at her outburst. "Just remember," he growled before grinding his hips into her again, gaining another moan, "I know how to tease too." He picked up a rhythm with his hips now, grinding into her as his hardness slid up and down between her soaking folds and eliciting cries of want. "I have half a mind to make you as crazy as you've made me so you can see how it feels. So you can see what you do to me."

"Please Mercer," she begged as she panted, her clever words from moments before escaping her in this moment. "Have you not seen how crazy you make me? Have I not shown you?"

"Hmm," he hummed in her ear, "I suppose I could be merciful." To show his mercy, he let his attention move towards her swollen breasts, moving her robe out of the way to have complete access. One hand aggressively grabbed one while his mouth found the other. Kaiya cried out as her back arched, presenting herself to him. He growled to show his pleasure, his attention on her breasts causing her to writhe beneath his body. He took the opportunity to slide the mage robes off of her arms as she lifted up from the mattress to meet him, finally freeing her of the last of her clothes. She moved her hips against his hardness, causing a pained moan to rip from his chest.

"Please Mercer," she begged again, "be merciful."

A wicked smile formed on his lips over her breast as he braced his weight on one arm, letting his other hand travel down her body. His fingertips grazed her skin as he ventured lower and she thought she might catch fire. No one else touched her like he did. Ever. No one else had ever made her feel like she would combust if he touched her again, but she would surely die if he didn't. Just when his slow descent became torturous as he neared her pelvis, he jerked his hand away and pressed two fingers firmly into her swollen and aching sex in one swift motion. A cry ripped from her at the sudden intrusion, her back arching off the bed so forcefully she almost knocked him off of her. She was faintly aware of the feeling of his stare on her face, so she forced herself to meet his gaze. Those eyes, so fierce and consuming, looked up at her from where he hovered over her breast, watching her every move. Apparently getting the answer they were looking for, he began moving his fingers in and out of her, feeling her wetness and spreading it up and down against her swollen folds.

"Shadows preserve me," he whispered hoarsely as his head fell to lie against her chest. It was clear this was torturing him as much as it was torturing her. Her back arched up once again at his touch as her hands gripped the furs. She panted for air, feeling like she would suffocate if she didn't get relief soon.

"Mercer," she breathed as she reached one hand up to touch his heart. "Do you feel that?" His heart pumped beneath her hand, setting the rhythm to which his fingers moved inside her. His eyes darted to hers at her question and she saw they were burning. Two green fires threatening to scorch her alive as she writhed under his glare. She kept her hand on his heart as he worked her closer to release, but she wanted him inside her. She didn't want to come like this.

"I thought you said you were tired of fighting this, Mercer." Her words were barely louder than a whisper. Their gaze did not break as concentration swept over his face, his brows furrowing with intensity at her words. She reached up with both hands to grab either side of his face, sitting up to touch her forehead to his. "So stop fighting it and fuck me already, Frey."

Any restraint he had been showing prior was shattered at her words. He bared his teeth at her crude command before removing his fingers from her and sucking them into his mouth, his eyes trained on hers as he tasted her. Kaiya almost came undone at the sight, her hips arching up on their own to beg him for her release. His eyes did not leave hers as he situated himself over her, his weight braced on one elbow by her head while his hand reached between them to guide his swollen hardness to her opening. Slowly, teasingly, he rubbed the head of his shaft up and down between her folds, bringing her to a squirming, writhing mess. "Mercer, please!" she cried out to the rafters and without a word, he pushed inside her in one forceful stroke, sheathing himself to the hilt.

"Fuck." He exhaled, his labored breathing proof he had been holding his breath until now. Their eyes still locked on each other, her mouth dropped open at the overwhelming sensation of being filled. Completely, utterly, filled with Mercer. His body covered hers, his smell was all around her and he was fully inside her. It was better than she could have hoped. His brows knitted with the tension of trying to remain still for a moment so she could adjust, his breathing heavy as it left his mouth.

He started to move, picking up a slow, torturous rhythm. His hand found its way to her breast and squeezed hard, eliciting another moan from her in response. Her hands were everywhere, traveling all over his chest and back as if she couldn't get enough of the feel of him over her.

"Is this what you wanted, Footpad?" he growled at her from above, his eyes a fiery gaze into hers. "Did you want me to fuck you?"

She shook her head back and forth as her hands twined through his hair, bringing his face close to hers once again. "Not want," she panted. "I need you to fuck me." She crushed his lips into hers and his pace picked up at her words. They were both losing the fight against restraint.

"Well what kind of man would I be if I didn't give you what you need?" His voice was a gravelly, hoarse rumble in her ear. She could feel it as it left his chest that was pressed against her breasts and it coursed over her entire body, making it sing.

The only sounds that filled the room were her moans, his grunts, their coupling. Their sweaty bodies slid against each other as they each climbed closer and closer to their climax, panting and groaning as they climbed.

Just before she could lose herself and topple over the edge towards her release, she grabbed him by the hair once again and spoke. "My turn."

Just as she had done their first time in the Bee and Barb, she flipped them both over where she was now riding him. She grabbed his wrists and pinned them on either side of his head while she bucked and slid herself up and down his shaft with abandon. "I like to show you what I can do, remember?"

A smirk took over his features, but it did nothing to diminish the hunger in his eyes. She released his wrists and sat up, letting her hands grab onto his chest for support. His hands flew to grab onto her hips, guiding her back and forth along his shaft. When she tilted her head and arched her back in pleasure, he couldn't help himself and sat straight up. She continued riding him as his mouth found her right breast, his hand working the other. His other arm wrapped around her, holding her to him like she might fly off with all their slippery friction. She groaned at his touch, grinding her hips into him harder as a way of saying thank you.

Unbridled by her quick ascension to release, she grabbed his hair and pulled his head back to look up at her as she continued to ride him. "Is this what you needed, Mercer?" she asked in her most sultry voice. "Did you need to fuck me?"

His fiery eyes met hers as his hand moved to the back of her head, grabbing her hair and pulling her head back to expose her throat to him. "I need more than that," he growled into her exposed neck as he kissed, nipped and sucked at her flesh. "I need you to come for me, Footpad."

He lowered her head back so that they were making eye contact, their sweaty foreheads touching and breathing in each others' panting. He growled a command. "So why don't you do as I say and come for me, Kaiya."

She felt her body shake and tremble as his filthy command put her over the edge into her release and she cried out his name in a whispered prayer. He held her tighter as she came, murmuring words into her ear that made her heart soar.

"That's it, that's my girl."

When it was clear her release had run its course, she whispered into the crook of his neck.

"Your turn, Frey."

He bared his teeth and growled as his thrusts became erratic and needy, desperately chasing his own release as he watched her ride out her bliss over him.

"Tell me who makes you come like that, Footpad. Say it." he boomed as he approached his climax, wanting and needing her words to push him over the edge. "Who is the only man who can make you come with a word?"

She happily complied. "You Mercer," she breathed as she pressed her lips into his, still not breaking eye contact. "Only you."

With a roar, he came inside her, pulsing and trembling with the power of his release. He let his head fall to her chest as she cradled him against her, kissing his head and allowing him to continue coming undone beneath her.

They stayed that way for a while, catching their breath and letting their heart rates fall back to normal. It was an intimate setting, but neither one of them shied away from it. It was fitting. When she felt she was ready, Kaiya slowly lifted her sore and achy body off of his and let herself fall into the bed next to him. He did the same, falling back and crashing against the pillow. They laid there, each on their back and grinning at each other like idiots. She reached over and grabbed his hand and he squeezed hers in response, sealing their silent, unspoken deal.

They knew they could never go back to the way they were before. They knew their relationship was irrevocably changed, but as they grinned at each other in the sweaty, breathy afterglow they both knew that they wouldn't have it any other way.

He pulled her to him, laying her head on his chest as sleep crept up on them both.

"Am I to understand that this means you're staying?" he asked in a breathy laugh, his voice low and rumbling with fatigue.

"Mm," she moaned softly in reply. "Under one condition." Her eyes were closed and she was peaceful as she laid on his chest, slipping into sleep.

"What's that?"

"Just don't betray us, okay?" It was barely more than a whisper, uttered as she drifted off to sleep. His eyes opened wide as he stared at the ceiling, the thought of sleep now gone as his demons crept up to taunt him at her words.


	36. Chapter 36

_8th of First Seed 4E203_

Kaiya woke as she felt her pillow move underneath her. Her eyes slowly opened to try to make sense of what was happening in the dark, the sun just barely beginning to creep up into the sky in the wee hours of the morning. She felt the corners of her mouth turn up in a smile as she realized that what she originally thought was her pillow was instead the chest of Mercer Frey as he slowly tried to disentangle himself from her limbs.

"Off so soon?" her voice was thick with sleep as she let herself fall into the mattress on her stomach at the loss of Mercer, who now moved silently around her room looking for his clothes. At the sound of her voice he paused, his eyes meeting hers in the dark as he grabbed his trousers. A hint of a smile made its way to the corner of his mouth as he dressed, his eyes never moving from her naked form as she lied on her stomach before him.

"I have to meet with Maven" he stated, his voice rough with his grogginess.

Kaiya smiled at the sound of his rumbling early morning voice. Even though they had been secretly spending their nights together for a few weeks now, she had still not been able to get over the way she felt at his voice being the first thing she heard every morning. It still felt too good to be true, like the other shoe would be dropping at any moment. Things usually didn't work out like this for Kaiya.

Mercer moved to sit on the side of her bed as he put on his boots while she sat up to embrace him from behind, her naked breasts pinned between her and his naked back.

"But why?" she asked innocently, trying her hand at sounding convincing.

He let out a single laugh in response to her machinations. "We still haven't figured out who is trying to sabotage us, Footpad."

The small reminder sent Kaiya's mind hurdling back into the stress and anxiety that had plagued the guild and its Guildmaster for some time now. Her stomach tightened with worry when she thought of the fact that someone was after them and they had no idea who or why. Whoever it was could strike again at any moment, and they had no idea how to stop them. Someone wanted to wreck what they had built, what she had just been accepted into. _Not now_. _GIve me a few more minutes of happiness before we return to business_.

"Always so serious," she joked in a mocking tone as she let her hands roam around his chest and stomach while she continued to press herself against his back. "You know what they say about all work and no play, right Mercer?" In case her intentions weren't clear, she planted a kiss in the nape of his neck, trying her best to distract him enough to stay for one more round.

"Yes, it makes a man wealthy" he joked as he grabbed his other boot, doing his best to ignore her featherlight touches on his body. She let one hand wander down to reach for his hardness as she continued to plant kisses along his neck and shoulder.

"And oh so sexually frustrated," she joked into his ear as she massaged his erection through his trousers. He could try to pretend as if he weren't affected all he wanted, but that erection did not lie. She dragged her tongue down his ear and to his earlobe before pulling it between her teeth. A shudder raked through Mercer's body as she teased him, bringing a grin to her lips. His ears were one of his weaknesses and she was not above exploiting it. One boot on and one boot hanging from his fingers, he had stopped trying to get dressed and instead sat still in her arms, breathing heavily.

"Just one more time before you go?" Her voice was sheer temptation as she breathed her words into his ear, drawing out yet another shudder.

"She expected me last night. I'm already late. You've already dis-" he shivered again as she planted more wet kisses behind his ear and ran the hand that wasn't on his pants through his hair. "-distracted me."

"Mmhmm," she hummed against the skin under his ear. "So what's a few more minutes, then?"

"A few minutes!?" he barked, somewhat offended. "Give me some credit, Footpad. You know I'm good for more than a few minutes." He eyed her over his shoulder at this, scowling playfully.

"Hm, I don't know…" she teased back, kissing up his jawline. She grabbed his hair and maneuvered his head so that they were able to make eye contact before continuing her taunt. "Why don't you prove it?"

His eyes closed at her words as chills prickled down his skin. "Shadows save me," he whispered in prayer. "Nocturnal knows I tried."

And at that, he spun around and climbed on top of her naked, grinning form. "You win this time, Footpad" he growled as his mouth found hers, kissing her as she smiled.

* * *

A few hours later, Kaiya entered the cistern. This was one of her favorite moments of any given day, when she climbed down the ladder and turned to face all the familiar sounds and smells of the cavernous space. Nuruin was practicing his archery as usual, the sound of arrows hitting the straw reverberating around the stone. Rune and Sapphire chatted casually by one of the cooking pots, the smell of venison causing Kaiya's stomach to rumble. The ever present smell and sound of rushing water had become so commonplace that she almost didn't notice it anymore but there it was, gurgling, sputtering, and washing out all of the idle conversations taking place across the cistern. Just as they did every time she entered, the corners of her mouth turned up into a grin. _This was home_.

The flutter from the scene she had caused in the Flagon with Ravyn had died down over the past few weeks, and of that she was grateful. He still gave her a wide berth when he passed her in the cistern, but his broken nose had healed nicely. Apparently Delvin wasn't kidding when he had said that they had all had moments like that. The thieves gave her the same small nods and hellos as they did before 'the event' as she had begun thinking about it, so she decided not to make a big deal out of it either. Plus, Delvin was also right that it was nice to have everyone know exactly what she was capable of, even if it was crazy.

What she hadn't expected when she walked into the cistern was for Mercer to call for her in the same angry tone he usually did the moment he set eyes on her. He had just seen her a few hours ago, what could possibly have happened? They had decided to keep their relationship private and not let it affect their work, but Kaiya would be lying if she said she hadn't hoped for a little easing up of his brutish nature. Apparently Mercer was better than she thought he'd be at keeping work and personal life separate, still just as authoritative as he was when he wasn't getting laid nightly. With a roll of her eyes she knew he couldn't see, she made her way over to the Guildmaster's desk as she had so many times before.

When she arrived at the desk, she realized she had mistaken his tone for angry. He was energetic, animated even, but not angry. She watched with rapt attention as he hastily dug through papers that were spread out in front of him on the table. When he noticed her presence, he shot her a side glance and a quick wink before diving into the papers again. Heat bloomed on her cheeks at the show of attention, but she couldn't help but think that Mercer was acting almost… manic.

"I spoke with Maven." He spoke hurriedly as he looked through his papers, his fingers walking through stacks so fast she wondered how he was reading them. "She agreed with my observation. Looks like ol' Delvin's wrong after all. We're not cursed. We're under attack."

"Under attack!?" Kaiya responded in shock. That didn't sound good.

He looked up long enough to shoot her his signature smirk before looking back down at the papers in front of him. "But there is good news, Footpad. We're not fumbling around in the dark any more."

"What?" she was perplexed. Very rarely did Mercer ever speak in riddles like this. "What's going on Mercer?"

"Whoever it is that's doing this made a mistake. They're good. Really good. But I'm always one step ahead." He looked up at her as he said this, a proud grin taking up his face.

"Ah! Here it is!"

He pulled out an old letter, so old the parchment had yellowed and looked worn. Kaiya moved to stand behind the desk next to him, peering around him to watch. He scanned through the old correspondence quickly, looking for something in particular. When he spotted it, he smacked the area of the paper with his hand and pulled Kaiya up to see it herself.

"See?" he pointed at the old letter. "This letter is from years, perhaps decades ago, but it lists the contact as Gajul-Lei." He then moved his finger to point at the bill of sale from Goldenglow. "And well look here at who is listed as brokering the deal at Goldenglow? Well if it's not the same Gajul-Lei."

"Do you know who that is? Gajul-Lei?" Kaiya asked, fascinated by the excited behavior of her Guildmaster. He was really onto something here.

"It just so happens that I do, Footpad." He turned to face her now, his hip leaning into the desk. "He's an old contact of ours. His real name is Gulum-Ei, slimy bastard." His eyes narrowed as he spoke of the old contact, although he was obviously trying to stave off any effect the betrayal had on him at the moment.

"What do I need to do, Mercer?" she cut straight to the heart of it, as Kaiya always did.

He gave her a half smile at her directness. She hoped he could sense her determination, her eagerness. She wanted to take this bastard down as much as Mercer did. He let a slow grin take over his features as his eyes bored into Kaiya's before he finally spoke.

"You're going to Solitude to pay a visit to a dear old friend of mine."


	37. Chapter 37

_11th of First Seed 4E203_

Mercer was tired. The past few days of preparing Kaiya for her mission to Solitude, planning what to do with the information once they got it, and tamping down his own anxiety about the whole situation was weighing on him. It was steadily approaching midnight and the Guildmaster still felt like he had a mountain of work in front of him. This mission to send Kaiya to Solitude had taken priority, rightfully so, but that didn't make the other items on his list lose their importance. He stretched his aching muscles as he stood by his desk in the cistern and listened to his stiff joints crack under the movement. He needed a break. The ledger would be there for him tomorrow.

As soon as he made the decision to call it a night, he felt the corners of his mouth curve into a smile. Kaiya would be coming over tonight before she left for Solitude in the morning. The past several weeks had been long, but it was his nights with Kaiya that made it worthwhile. No, they weren't getting much sleep, but he wasn't complaining about that. Just the thought of being able to spend the rest of his evening with her beneath him was reason enough to smile. Suddenly he felt like he couldn't get out of the cistern fast enough.

He made his way through the graveyard as he exited the cistern and headed towards the back entrance to his home. Although he rarely spent his nights at his house before, it seemed necessary now that he was spending more of his evenings with a woman. How could she let him know all the ways he was pleasing her if they had to be quiet? Distracted by his thoughts of his upcoming plans, he missed the signs he would normally have noticed that signaled he was not alone once he entered the yard behind Riftweald manor. The gate had not been closed all the way. Candlelight could be seen from the window of his bedroom on the second floor. Mercer went about his business as usual however, which is why he was so surprised when a voice greeted him as he entered his bedroom.

"Hello, Mercer."

He froze, immediately recognizing the voice. While it was a woman's, the voice did not belong to the woman he would have been happy to see in his chambers that night. He let his eyes narrow at her through the barely lit room once he spotted her. There she was, stretched out and laying on his bed as if in invitation.

"What do you want, Maven?" The words came out exasperated and tired, exactly how he felt. He was not in the mood to hide his aggravation at the intrusion.

"Is that how you greet me now, Guildmaster?" she asked as she moved to stand up from her perch on his bed. She sauntered over to him in what to other men may be a sultry, flirtatious walk, but to Mercer it was just grating.

He could not have stopped the heavy sigh that broke free from him if he had tried. His eyes shut and his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose in irritation, he answered her taunt. "I'm tired Maven. It's been a long day. I just want to go to bed."

"Is that so?" she asked, not deterred in the slightest. Her hands wandered up to rest on his shoulders, preparing to sense the reaction her next jab would have to his already tense body. "Is that what you would have told your little Breton whore if it had been her instead of me on your bed tonight?"

 _He tensed. Just as she expected._

"What are you talking about, Maven?" he groaned, acting the part of a frustrated and innocent man. Inside, his thoughts were screaming. He should have known it was only a matter of time before she figured out he and Kaiya had been spending their nights together. They had been so careful, so cautious, but with Maven, it was never cautious enough.

"It's endearing really, how you still try your act on me after all these years." Her lips pulled away from her teeth in the most menacing smile she could muster while still maintaining her calm. "Oh don't play coy with me, Mercer" she spoke with more aggression now, her hands slowly pushing back his shoulders until he was pressed against the wall. "You know nothing happens in this city without me knowing about it."

"Well Maven," he retorted, removing her hands from his shoulders with disgust. "If you continuously threaten your informants with bodily injury if they don't have information for you, sometimes they might make things up." He pulled himself away from her hold by the wall and made his way to the fireplace, sitting down in one of the chairs he had by the fire. "Maybe you should rethink your technique. It's getting tired."

She slowly followed Mercer to the fireplace, shooting him her predator smile once again as she took the chair opposite him. "Aw, are you lying to me for her now? And here I thought that maybe it was just about the sex."

"What is it that you want, Maven?" he groaned as his patience ran out. He let his head fall back to stare at the ceiling in a show of exasperation. "I grow weary of your games." He knew better than to try to argue with her if she didn't believe him. It was an exercise in futility at best, and dangerous at worst.

"Oh honey, when will you accept that I'm not playing games with you?" She reached over as she spoke, giving him a patronizing pat on the back of his hand. "You know you're merely a piece to be played in my games, not an opponent."

"Even more reason to cut to the fucking chase, you succubus."

"Fine." She stood at this, seeing no more reason to continue to play coy. "I know you're fucking her, Mercer but that's not why I'm here. I'm here because I still own you and it's time for me to collect my dues."

His head shot up at this, his eyes glaring at her with a look of pure hatred. "No."

"Oh please," she scoffed away his denial. "If I remember correctly, you are the one that made this deal with me, Mercer. Now you wish to pull out of it?" She laughed, rolling her eyes at his feeble attempt to defy her. "If that's the case then the whole deal's off. You don't have to give me my dues tonight and I will go and tell your guild what a bad boy you've been." She couldn't help the evil grin that took ahold of her features at this blackmail. She was so good at this. She turned to leave, giving Mercer no time to argue or debate her. Either he would let her go or she would get her way. There was no gray area.

"Maven, wait" he sighed as his head fell forward to rest in his hands. As much as he loathed what was about to take place, he knew he had no choice. He only hoped that Kaiya would be spared the knowledge of this for a little while longer. Until he could tell her himself. And he prayed that she would be able to forgive him when he did. "What do you want?"

"You know your end of the deal, Mercer" she claimed in triumph, turning from the door to face his defeated form. "Now do you need more foreplay or are you ready?"

"I hate you." He spat out under his breath, almost inaudibly.

"Oh I know you do, Mercer" she grinned, relishing his torment. "But you love what I can do for you. Now, be a good boy and take off those leathers. Oh and try to act like you like it this time."

* * *

Kaiya traversed through the side streets of Riften towards Riftweald manor. It was late, just barely past midnight, but there were always people milling about in the market square. It was this nature of the city that prevented her from being able to go and come as she pleased from the Guildmaster's home, forcing her to stick to the shadows and the darkened alleys as she walked. While most of the residents of Riften may not care that she was gleefully fucking the Guildmaster every night, her and Mercer both knew that a certain Imperial woman could do serious damage with that knowledge. So secret they would remain.

As she approached the gate at the back of Riftweald, she noticed the faint candlelight that could be seen from Mercer's bedroom window. She felt her heart thump in her chest at the thought that he was up there, waiting for her to arrive. It had finally happened. They were finally together, even if she wasn't exactly sure what being "together" entailed yet.

She had been so lost in thought about their relationship as she stood there, staring at the light emanating from his window, that the sight of a shadow from the bedroom surprised her. She was even more surprised however, when that shadow became two - both distinct and obviously human. Who did Mercer have in his bedroom?

She felt her heart speed up as her stomach plummeted, her mind racing to catch up with her emotions. It's probably nothing. It's probably just one of the mercenaries. Or two of the mercenaries! Maybe he isn't even in that room! Try as she might, she could not convince her pounding heart that there was no reason to panic.

She lifted her hand to knock on the door when suddenly, it opened. Before her stood Vald, one of Mercer's paid mercenaries that she had met a handful of times during her visits to the manor. Vald's ice blue eyes grew wide once he recognized her, yet he said nothing. They stood silent for a moment, just looking at each other. Kaiya prided herself on being intuitive and in that moment, her intuition was screaming at her. She knew that look. Lips pinched in and brows so subtly raised, the mercenary wore a look of pity.

Finally, he spoke. "Hey Kaiya, I'm sorry but Mercer has asked not to be disturbed." His eyes cast downward, unable to meet the hurt present on her face.

"Oh, okay then?" She responded meekly, her tone making the statement sound like a question. When Vald didn't immediately reply, her brows deepened with her confusion. This was unlike Vald, who was normally so casual and downright playful with her, to not tell her what was going on. To hold back.

"Vald, what's going on?" She felt as if she had the right to ask that, didn't she?

"I'm sorry, Kaiya" he said, shaking his head as if it pained him to say it. "I can't say. Sworn secrecy and all that."

Kaiya stood stunned for a moment, willing her chaotic thoughts to come together long enough to form a response. In the end, there was only one question she had left to ask. One question that was screaming inside her head, dying to get out. "A secret meeting, in his bedroom?"

She saw it. His wince. He winced at her question. It was barely there and she could tell he tried not to react, but he did. And she didn't miss it. That couldn't be good.

"I'm sorry." He shook his head again, his lips pinched together in the same pitying expression they did when he first opened the door. She had the urge to smack that look of pity off his face, but that wasn't fair. It wasn't Vald's fault. Don't kill the messenger, and all that.

She took a deep breath to steady her racing pulse, doing her best to keep her emotions in check. "Will you tell him that I came by?" she asked, trying to break the silence. _Gods, this was awkward._ She felt like a girl with a stupid crush, showing up at his house to give him a love note. "You know what?" she laughed humorlessly, shaking her head at her own stupidity. "He's obviously tied up with something more important. Don't bother."

At this she turned to leave, not wanting Vald to see the tears that threatened to spill over in her eyes. She quickly jogged down half the steps before he responded, calling out to her back.

"Kaiya! I'll tell him you were here. He had been expecting you."

She slowed her retreat, her mind jumbled with thoughts of what his response should mean to her. Turning her head to call out over her shoulder, she responded "well then he should do a better job of making sure his appointments don't overlap."

The mercenary said nothing more, turning instead to slowly retreat back into the manor. Kaiya picked up her speed, escaping as fast as she could back to her home on the other side of the city. As she ran, her eyes stung with the tears of disappointment. She could not shake the feeling that whatever was taking place in Mercer's bedroom was something that was not as innocent as a business venture.

As she stormed into her house, she slammed the door behind her and leaned against it, thankful that she was finally alone to ponder her next move. She and Mercer had never discussed their relationship at all really, much less if it was exclusive or not. Was it fair of her to be angry? A small part of her wanted to listen to the hopeful side of her reasoning, the voice that told her that maybe it was nothing. Maybe it was business. Maybe it was a family member. But try as she might, her intuition could not be quieted so easily. She knew that whatever it was taking place in his bedroom that night was something that would hurt her. The only thing she had left to decide was whether or not she wanted to find out what it was.


	38. Chapter 38

_12th of First Seed 4E203_

Three loud knocks.

That's the first thing Kaiya heard as she woke. She sat leaning against the door of Honeyside, the same door that was being jostled as whoever it was on the other side pounded against it with their fists. As the confusion that clouded her mind began to clear, the memories from hours prior came flooding back. Mercer's house. The light in the window. The conversation with Vald. She felt the cracks in her heart begin to pulse again, pain searing through her as if she was reliving the events that broke it in the first place. She must have fallen asleep against the door as she had tried to make sense of it all. Now there she sat, jolted awake from the knocking of the door she leaned against with no idea of what time it was.

She stood slowly, her body aching from the awkward position she had been sitting in. Her guest, whoever it may be on the other side of the door, continued to bang on the wood so hard she worried it might splinter. How impatient could they be!?

"Sweet Sithis I'm coming! You don't have to break the door down!" she yelled through the door as she stretched out her weary body, trying to get the blood flowing into all her limbs.

"Kaiya it's me!" she heard from the other side of the door, a booming voice that could only come from one person. Mercer.

"What do you want?" she called out with no small amount of animosity. "I thought you were busy!"

"Just open the godsdamned door Kaiya." His voice was weary, tired. She felt the familiar tug at her heart that his rumbling voice caused without fail and hated him for it at that moment. No matter how angry she was, she knew that voice would always be her weakness. Fighting her own reaction, she found herself swinging the door open for him, even if a part of her wanted to tell him to go away.

He looked like he hadn't slept in weeks. His arms propped him up on the door frame, but he seemed like he was barely standing. He lifted his heavy head as Kaiya opened the door and watched as her face turned from angry to concerned at the sight of him.

"What's going on, Mercer?" she asked, fighting the warring emotions that ran through her. She was hurting and upset at being turned away from his home and hated him for that, but she could not deny the pull that his current appearance at her doorstep had on her. No matter what had happened before, he was here now and deep down, she loved him for it.

He practically fell into her as he stumbled inside, grasping her face to hold in his hands. He crushed his lips into hers, quickly moving to thrust his tongue into her mouth almost greedily. Despite her hesitation, she found herself responding to him, opening her lips to him and wrapping her arms around his waist.

Without breaking their kiss, Mercer spun them around and pressed her back against the door he had just come through. His body came alive as he pressed into her and a hungry groan ripped from his chest in response. His hands did not move from holding her face to him, but hers wandered eagerly. She pulled him closer by his leathers and clawed at his chest and back as she became frantic with her need of him.

He pulled back from her for a moment so they could both catch their breath, panting as they gazed at each other. "I need you." was all he said, his voice rough and husky.

"Then take me."

 _So much for being angry at him_.

* * *

"It's sunrise."

Although she did not want to leave her current position with her head lying across Mercer's chest, she felt as the time was drawing near. Lying with Mercer in those quiet, calm moments afterward was almost better than the act itself. Mercer was sated, more relaxed, and sounded free when he laughed, as if nothing in all of Nirn could touch him. Kaiya found herself at ease, her body rid of its usual tension. These moments made all of the headaches that had accompanied their relationship worth it.

Kaiya let her fingers lazily glide along Mercer's chest as she laid there, tracing the outline of his scars and muscles. He ran his fingers through her hair with his gaze on the ceiling, although the faint crinkles at the corners of his eyes told Kaiya that he was happy.

"How did you get this scar?" she asked as her fingers moved towards his right side. The scar was jagged over his ribs but it looked old as if it had been there for most of his life.

She felt Mercer's chest move under her head as he laughed at the memory. "One of my first burglaries in High Rock. I learned that even if your mark is asleep, they may still carry a pretty nasty dagger."

"And this one?" Kaiya felt her lips curling into a bit of a smile as her fingers ran over the scar on his face that cut through his bottom lip. He turned to look at her as she touched his face, seeing her smile.

"Oh you like this one, do you?" he asked. His eyebrows shot up in surprise at the way she bit her lip as she nodded. "Dear gods, you do like it." He laughed now as she continued to run her fingers across the scar on his cheek. "Well I hate to break it to you Footpad, but it doesn't have a great story."

"Go on…" she urged.

"Well, it's the scar from when I learned not to underestimate women."

"That sounds like a great story to me!" she joked as she snuck a quick and playful kiss to his cheek.

Mercer sighed heavily as he continued. "Anyway, it was after I first joined the Guild. I had a mark that also happened to be a young, very pretty, woman."

"Slut!" Kaiya jokingly interjected.

"You jest, but that's not too far off from how I saw women back then. My plan was to just spend a little time talking to her and giving her attention and then when I held her in the palm of my hands, I'd make my move and get to have my way with her whilst robbing her of her quite valuable emerald ring in the process."

"Oh no," was all Kaiya managed to get out.

Mercer shrugged. "I was young and dumb and assumed that all women were just waiting for a man to save them from their manless lives."

"Oh no. Oh my gods I'm so nervous. What in the Oblivion did you do, Mercer?"

"Well, I came up to her in a tavern and started talking with her, doing my best to resemble someone who would be 'courting' a lady such as her. Then, once I felt I had put in my time, as it were, I leaned over and wrapped my arms around her and went to make my move." Mercer began laughing at the memory, shaking his head at his own naivete.

"She wasn't into it, was she?" Kaiya asked as she waited in suspense.

"No," he laughed openly now. "This move was so unwanted that she whipped out her dagger faster than I could even think to jump away, slashing straight across my face."

Kaiya sat quiet for a moment before bursting into laughter. "You thought you were being all smooth!"

"The really sad fact of the whole story," Mercer continued, laughter still present in his voice, "is that she didn't even realize I was trying to rob her. I really was just that bad at trying to seduce a woman."

"Well the fact that you're in my bed right now proves that you've gotten better at it at least." Kaiya laughed as she leaned up to kiss him on the cheek again.

"Mm hmm," he rumbled into her ear as he leaned to kiss her on the forehead. "Lucky you."

At that moment, the image of the second person in Mercer's bedroom floated into Kaiya's mind. Her stomach turned at the memory, crushing the fluttering her heart had done at the kiss he had placed on her forehead. He had gotten better at seducing women, that was obvious.

Mercer noticed her tense up next to him. "What's wrong?"

"What? No. Nothing. Um. What's this scar?!" She spat it all out in one rushed breath, searching for a way to change the subject. She was not ready to discuss this yet. It was still too raw. She didn't realize until she felt Mercer tense next to her that she had opted out of a difficult conversation for her straight into a difficult one for him. She had her hand over the most gruesome scar Mercer had - a dark purple discoloration that looked as if it were caused from a puncture wound. The skin around it was a mangled netting of scar tissue, the entire area directly over Mercer's heart. She had wondered since their first encounter where this came from, but seeing as it was right over his heart, it seemed a little too intimate to ask about.

"It's from an arrow." He spat out almost angrily.

"An arrow over your heart? Who did this? Why?" Kaiya asked anxiously. The thought of Mercer being in a situation that put him that close to death caused her stomach to flip. Maybe this wasn't a better line of conversation after all.

"I don't want to speak of this any more." She felt his arm tense around her, his grip tightening on her shoulder.

"What? Mercer what happened?"

"Betrayal." His voice was cold, offering nothing more than harsh reality.

They sat silent for a moment, both of their bodies taut from the stress of the change in mood of the conversation. Kaiya had once told Mercer that he didn't know what betrayal was. He had responded with "try me." She guessed this is what he was referring to and she had to admit, a shot to the heart was some pretty bad betrayal. It hurt her that he wouldn't tell her more, although she knew that not all scars were physical. Some scars didn't heal.

"It's sunrise," he finally said, breaking the silence between them. "You should get going to Solitude."

They both got out of bed and made their way around her home, picking up articles of clothing and dressing in silence. The tension was still palpable in the room, but neither knew how to break it. Kaiya was not certain that Mercer wanted to, and the thought caused a lump of fear to rise in her throat. She didn't know if she could handle it if he started pushing her away.

She obviously still had a lot to learn about Mercer Frey.

Once they were dressed, they stood facing each other in an awkward moment, both trying to figure out how they should say goodbye. Kaiya did the only thing she knew how to do in strained moments and tried to make light of the situation.

"Well this is awkward," she laughed humorlessly. "Look, can we just pretend that the last 10 minutes didn't happen? We were so good before that!"

"Sure," Mercer replied, but Kaiya could still sense the rigidity of his posture. "Be safe in Solitude."

"I'll do you proud, sir!" she joked as she saluted her Guildmaster, still trying to get at least one laugh out of the man. It didn't work.

"Report to me straight away when you return."

"Will do," she said as she approached him. She raised up on her toes in order to kiss him goodbye since he seemed to have no intention of bending over to meet her halfway. Wrapping her arms around his shoulders, she forced him to look at her.

"Hey, are we okay?" she asked quietly, although she swore Mercer could hear her heart beating with fear from what he might say.

"We're okay Footpad," he responded, and the first sign of softness towards her started to return to his features. He let one corner of his mouth curve upwards into his most endearing smirk before he reached up and grazed his thumb across her cheek. "Just come back to me in one piece."

"Oh I will," she smiled up at him. "I don't even want to think about how mad you'd be at me if I came back dead. You'd never send me on the good missions anymore."

At this he finally let out a laugh as he wrapped his arms around her waist. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her cheek, but that wasn't good enough for Kaiya. She grabbed his face and pressed her lips to his in a searing kiss, making sure he'd miss her while she was gone. Once she heard him grunt in pleasure at her ministrations, she pulled back and bit her bottom lip.

"Tease" he groaned, rolling his eyes at her.

"Well I've got to give you something to look forward to when I return." She winked at him before pulling away. Throwing her pack onto her back, she walked to the door of her home and stopped to look over her shoulder. With a smirk, she said her silent goodbye to Mercer before she made her way out of Honeyside.


	39. Chapter 39

_13th of First Seed 4E203_

Kaiya had never liked Solitude. It felt like secrets dripped off the walls, the very stones that laid the city ready to burst with forbidden knowledge. At least Riften had the decency to be honest about its dirty nature. Solitude presented itself as a beacon of progress and forward thinking but it never failed to feel somewhat meretricious to Kaiya. She knew better than to assume a city in Skyrim didn't have a dark history or its own share of problems.

Adjusting the hood of her guild leathers, she made her way towards the Winking Skeever as the giant doors of the city gate closed behind her. It was later than she hoped to arrive since the carriage ride across most of Skyrim had encountered more problems than she had anticipated. The civil war was getting worse; you could not venture from a city and not see the effects it was having on the landscape.

A cold wind came tunneling through the marketplace as Kaiya stepped inside the inn, sucking the door shut behind her with a bang that drew the attention of every patron in the room.

 _So much for going unseen_.

She approached the bar amongst a room full of stares before they seemed to grow bored of her normal actions and let their attention wander once more. All but one.

"Well, well, if it isn't one of Mercer's toadies."

There was no doubt that the hissy, deep voice that spoke to her belonged to an Argonian. She turned to follow the sound and her eyes met the lidless gaze of who could be no one else but Gulum-Ei. He stared at her in a way that made her feel like he was analyzing everything about her, searching for weaknesses and leverage. Mercer had not been overstating the craftiness of this fence, that was certain.

Kaiya did not deny his statement or argue with him that he called her a toady. She recognized a trap when she saw one. Instead, she turned her back to him and continued making her way to the bar to order some mead. The way this was going, she would need one.

"What's the deal with the Argonian over there?" Kaiya asked the innkeeper, jerking her head in Gulum-Ei's direction to indicate who she meant.

"Oh him?" The innkeeper looked away quickly as to not let his eyes linger on the fence too long. "He's with the East Empire Company. Slimy bastard, if you ask me, but he always has plenty of coin."

"I see." Kaiya flipped a coin onto the bar in thanks for the information before making her way, mead in hand, to the Argonian. She always found it difficult to get a read off of the Argonians since they did not exhibit the same facial features as elves or men. She was good at watching the area around a man's eyes to see if he was genuine or for the hints of a smirk to see if a jab was made in jest, but that was impossible with those from Black Marsh. They gave nothing away. Still, she had a job to do, and she was determined she would get it done.

"Gulum-Ei, is it?" she asked as she approached him.

"Depends." He crossed his arms over his chest in a smug display of superiority.

"I'm Kaiya," she spoke showing no signs of intimidation. "I have some questions for you."

"Well I hate to disappoint you sweetheart, but I told Mercer that I don't deal with the guild anymore so you'll get nothing from me."

Kaiya's lips curled into her signature assassin smile, the one she wore when she wished to turn a man's blood cold. "We'll see about that, Gajul-Lei."

* * *

"This is a whole new level of stupid for you, Kaiya."

She chastised herself under her breath as she made her way through the East Empire Company warehouse, silently following behind the Argonian. He had proven himself to be elusive and even pig-headed, resisting all of her attempts to charm him or even intimidate him. Even when she stooped to a level that she usually refrained from, bribery, he accepted her bribe and she got nothing.

As she silently snuck around the mercenaries that infested the warehouse, her anger simmered. _What a slimy bastard!_ She thought as she kept replaying their earlier conversation in her mind. _When I get ahold of him he's going to be sorry for playing me like the fool._ There had yet to be a moment in which she hated the guild's "no killing" rule more than right now.

Suddenly, she realized that Gulum-Ei had reached what seemed to be a dead end. If she was going to make a move to threaten him, this was it. She silently cast her invisibility spell as she crept closer, but she was met with a surprise. Standing next to the Argonian was a Nord archer that had an arrow knocked and looked around intently for the source of a sound he must have heard. Well shit. While at first this situation seemed far from ideal, Kaiya realized that it presented a perfect opportunity for her. Since she'd most likely have to kill the guy anyway, why not make a show of it? Really scare the Argonian?

With her invisibility spell still intact, Kaiya crept around behind the archer as silently as she could manage. Unsheathing her dagger affectionately known as Little Friend, she moved into position. In one fluid motion, she grabbed the archer's head with her left hand while slashing his throat clean across with her dagger. The contact caused her invisibility spell to vanish so the killing was on full display for the terrified Argonian. One moment there had been nothing, the next moment there was an assassin slicing the throat of his mercenary. Not only would she kill even though the guild normally had rules against it, she was quite capable of it. More capable in a fight than he would be in his merchant clothes with his iron dagger, that's for sure.

He was fucked.

Before he could even consider running, Kaiya rushed behind Gulum-Ei and put him in a hold, her dagger pressed up against his throat.

"Okay okay!" the Argonian shrieked, doing his best to put his hands up in surrender. "I know when I'm beaten! Please, don't kill me. I'll give you what you want."

With a satisfied grin, Kaiya released the Argonian, pushing him away from her with disgust to accentuate her intimidation. She was in control here. Deciding her threat had been effective and with her hands still covered in blood from the mercenary, she sheathed her dagger.

"Speak."

His hands still in the air in surrender, he began to talk, his words spilling out as though they were tumbling over each other to escape.

"It was Karliah okay!? Karliah!"

"Who?" Kaiya was confused and it showed. Gulum-Ei revealed this information like it should have been a revelation, yet she had no idea who this Karliah was.

"Oh my gods," he said as though stunned, his hands slowly dropping from their surrender position. "He never told you about Karliah?"

"Well obviously not," Kaiya snapped back, feeling a little embarrassed that this Argonian had information about her guild that she did not. "So you tell me."

"I'm sorry sweetheart," he said with no small amount of charm, "but this is a story you're going to have to ask your Guildmaster."

"Don't do that" she stomped towards him, closing the gap between them. He raised his hands in surrender again, slowly backing away from the angry Kaiya until he was pressed against one of the crates being stored on a shelf. "Don't patronize me, lizard. I'm new to the guild but I'm obviously good at what I do, so I may not know all the history and all the little stories, but I'm damn well capable of kicking your ass should you not tell me yourself."

"All right, all right," Gulum-Ei responded with a laugh, "you're a firebrand aren't you?"

"Why's everyone that doesn't like me call me that?" It was her turn to laugh now.

"Who said I didn't like you?" he asked sincerely, one shoulder going up in a charismatic shrug.

"Oh cut the crap, Gulum-Ei." She said as she rolled her eyes. "Just tell me who this Karliah bitch is."

"Oh it's Gulum-Ei now, is it? No more 'lizard' or 'Argonian'? For a minute there I was worried you were racist." He smiled at her now, fully appreciating the fact that he had gained some power in their confrontation. "Or maybe I'm just growing on you?"

"You ARE a slimy bastard, aren't you?" Kaiya laughed humorlessly. "Just tell me about Karliah!" She was feeling exasperated now, pacing back and forth.

"She betrayed the guild years ago. Killed Gallus and broke Mercer's heart." he spoke as though this was such an old story to him, all emotion it perhaps once had brought had long since faded. To Kaiya however, this information was new, and it felt like a blow to the stomach to hear it for the first time.

"Where is she?" Kaiya grated out between clenched teeth.

"I don't know," Gulum-Ei replied with a shake to his head. "The last I saw her she said she was going 'where the end began.'"

 _Oh great, a cryptic bitch._

"She broke Mercer's heart?" Kaiya couldn't help herself but to ask. The question came out as a squeak, a shadow of the terrifying assassin she had been moments before.

She tried to hide the concern. She really did. She tried to hide the fact that it not only hurt her to think about him being in pain, even if it was years ago, but it hurt her tremendously to think about him being brokenhearted. A broken heart is a different type of pain. It doesn't heal. It doesn't mend like an arrow to the heart or a dagger to the face.

"Ah, I see" Gulum-Ei said in a way that seemed out of place to the bewildered Kaiya. If she hadn't known better, she would have said that his non existent eyebrows had gone up the way a man's would if he had just been enlightened to some deep secret.

"What? What do you see?" Kaiya was eager to draw any information out of him that she could while she had the chance.

"I tell you that the former Guildmaster was killed by this woman and you don't blink an eye, but when I say Mercer was heartbroken…" he let his sentence trail off at the end without finishing his thought.

"So? I know Mercer. I didn't know Gallus." She spoke as if this were obvious.

Gulum-Ei chuckled lightly, as if he was laughing at a joke only he understood. "Well aren't you just a devoted little Mercer toady?"

"What? Stop calling me that!" Her emotions were starting to take over, which was a dangerous situation for Kaiya to be in considering their current predicament.

"By the Hist, woman!" he laughed openly now. "I didn't expect this. You're fucking him, aren't you?"

Kaiya felt her eyes go wide as his declaration. _How the hell did he know that?_ She felt a bit taken aback at how perceptive he was. It reminded her of her time with Veezera and how he would always know the right question to ask to really get at the core of an emotion. Was this an Argonian thing? She watched his scaly cheeks rise to give way to a toothy grin that told her she needed to say something and say something fast.

"What in Oblivion would make you think that?" she scoffed awkwardly.

"There's no use in trying to convince me otherwise, sweetheart" he said with a twinge of laughter still present in his voice. "Your pink cheeks told me everything I needed to know."

Kaiya felt her face grow even redder under his examining eyes. She found herself jealous of the Argonian and his inability to blush. _Lucky bastard._

"What did Maven have to say about it?" he asked her this after letting out a faint gasp, giving her the impression that he just thought about a very important component to the whole ordeal.

"She doesn't know," Kaiya responded smugly, crossing her arms over her chest. "And it better stay that way."

"Oh honey," he crooned, giving her a look of pity. "She knows. She knew before you did."

Kaiya let out a heavy sigh at his words. He just spoke the fear she had internalized since it all began. "I was afraid of that," she said honestly. There was no use in trying to deny it in front of the perceptive Gulum-Ei any longer.

He reached up and put a hand on her shoulder in the attempt to comfort her. He knew this couldn't be easy. "What has this done to her little agreement she has with Mercer?"

Her eyebrows snapped together in confusion. She was feeling confused a lot today and she didn't like it very much. "What are you talking about?"

"He hasn't told you?!" the hand that had rested on Kaiya's shoulder quickly moved to cover his face in an attempt to hide the laughter that he fought back. "You poor thing!"

"First of all," she started, getting aggravated at his mocking pity, "stop pitying me and treating me like a sad child. Second of all," she counted on her fingers to accentuate her point "you know I don't know so just tell me already!"

Gulum-Ei stayed quiet for a moment, the look of amused pity still plastered across his face, before he finally responded to her. "I shouldn't, but what the hell?" He laughed as he threw his hands up in defeat. "You made me laugh, so that's worth something. Maybe I like you after all."

He adjusted his position on the crate so that he could lean against it more comfortably before he began, eliciting not one but two annoyed sighs from the impatient Kaiya.

"He's had an agreement with Maven as long as I've known him. She gives the guild her support and he gives her his…" he paused as he tried to think of the right phrasing, "skills."

Kaiya gulped. She did not like the way that sounded. "I don't think I like where this is going, but just for clarification…" she paused now, bracing herself for the answer this question would bring, "what skills?"

"If you're fucking him, you know better than I do sweetheart."

Kaiya felt the blood drain out of her face. She felt her heart plummet to the bottom of her stomach. There was a moment she forgot to breathe. _NO. No it can't be_.

"And for clarification, how long have you known Mercer?" She still continued the conversation because she wanted answers, but she had begun to feel like she wasn't there anymore. Not mentally, anyway.

"Gods, I don't know," Gulum-Ei answered as he looked to the roof of the cavern in concentration, trying to think of the right answer. "Twenty, twenty-five years?"

Thump thump. Kaiya felt her heart pound in her stomach. Suddenly, the image of the second person in Mercer's bedroom window the night before came crashing into her mind, almost making her gag.

"So he's been fucking Maven Black-Briar," she stopped mid sentence for a moment as she felt a gag coming on. Her stomach contents were just as unhappy with what she just said as she was. "For twenty-five years?"

"If not longer," he answered so matter of factly it made Kaiya want to punch him.

"And you're sure this is still going on?" Kaiya asked with the last bit of remaining hope she had. Anything to convince herself that was not Maven in Mercer's window. _It couldn't be_.

"Was the last I heard," he said with a shrug. "I'm surprised you haven't heard about it. It's the most well known secret of the Thieves Guild. Everyone knows he does it and everyone knows not to ask him about it."

 _No. This couldn't be true._ Delvin wouldn't have encouraged her to get involved without telling her this, would he? Vex? Vekel? They wouldn't have kept something like this from her had they known, right? She found herself taking deep breaths to try to steady the room that seemed like it had taken flight while she was in it.

"And why…" she asked between gulps as she tried to keep from vomiting. "Why is he in this situation?"

"He did it for the guild, as far as I know." He shrugged again. If this Argonian didn't stop shrugging as he continued giving her news that was flipping her world upside-down she was going to pin his shoulders to his damn earholes. "He thought her influence would make it worthwhile. I'm willing to bet that 25 years ago the deal seemed a little sweeter than it does now."

Kaiya continued to breathe deeply as she stared off at nothing in particular, holding herself captive in her own mind. Gulum-Ei reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder again, hoping to ground her to this plane. She hated to admit it, but it did help relax her the smallest bit.

"He was a much younger, and stupider, man back then, Kaiya." He spoke softly now as if he finally understood the impact his words were having. "She was also twenty-five years younger, so you can imagine that it seemed like a win-win at the time." But then he said that. _So much for understanding the impact_.

"Well I guess that explains why he hates her so much."

He let out a small chuckle at that. "I'd say so. He's been, for all intents and purposes, her sex slave for a quarter century." The heaviness of his words caused Kaiya to lose her breath for a moment, her eyes glazing over a bit in order to remain conscious.

"Kaiya," he exclaimed as he shook her shoulder in an effort to bring her back to the present. Her eyes, bewildered and shocked as they were, met his. "Kaiya, I'm sure this is an embarrassment to him. If you think you hate hearing it, think about what it's like for him to live it. I don't envy him."

Several moments passed in silence as they stared at each other. Kaiya tried to get her heartbeat back to normal while Gulum-Ei continued to assess the situation to ensure she wouldn't pass out on him. He wasn't sure why he found himself in a situation where he was caring whether or not the tiny Breton would be okay, but for whatever reason, he found himself staying put, unable to move away.

When her heart's behavior returned to normal, she let out a groan. A groan of disgust, of hatred, of bitterness, of revulsion and anger. Her body shivered in an attempt to shake the feeling out of her.

"So in one day, I find out that Mercer had his heart broken by a woman named Karliah that betrayed him AND that he has been a slave to Maven for twenty-five years?"

Gulum-Ei remained quiet. There was nothing to say.

"Today sucks." she said, a small laugh escaping her alongside her words.

"In all honesty Kaiya," Gulum-Ei spoke. "The two events are probably not unrelated, but that's just my guess. You will have to ask Mercer if you want the whole story."

"Oh I intend to do just that!" she declared with a look of determination. She began to walk towards the exit of the grotto, ignoring the chests and crates of loot that probably belonged to them. "Thank you, Gulum-Ei."

"You're welcome Kaiya." He gave her a sad smile as he empathized with her current predicament. He didn't envy her either. "Oh hey!" he called after her as she approached the exit.

"Tell Mercer he's got an ally in me. I'm back in."


	40. Chapter 40

_15th of First Seed 4E203_

"That's fine! I don't need a driver anyway! I got this!"

Kaiya screamed at the retreating form of the man who had been her ride thus far on her trip back to Riften, who was now abandoning her just outside of Kynesgrove. She had pushed him too far. At first she had just encouraged him to take a few passages through areas in which she knew bandits inhabited, just so she could get her swords wet. Then she had instigated a giant - a giant whose club came much too close to destroying the carriage. The final straw was the roar of a dragon in the distance as they approached Eastmarch and Kaiya's eagerness to take it on. The driver decided he had had enough and kicked her out to walk the rest of the way on her own.

Kaiya kicked and screamed at Thaer's back as he rode off without paying her any mind. This wouldn't be the first time she'd have to travel on foot - far from it. If she was being honest with herself, she'd realize that she was upset because he gave up on her, and right now she needed someone on her side. It had been a crazy 48 hours.

When her energy had waned enough that she was no longer tempted to Shout at the poor carriage driver, she accepted her fate. If nothing else, this walk would give her time to think about the latest developments and perhaps work out a little more aggression.

She stormed off on the road that headed south, straight for the dragon she knew would be there. This area was always rife with dragonfire. Ever since she had taken out the dragon who had originally called Bonestrewn Crest his home, others had flocked to the craggy peak in order to take over that spot. She wasn't sure what those sulfurous springs surrounding the mountain did to attract the beasts, but they were always there and sometimes even fighting each other for the right to call Bonestrewn Crest home.

Sure enough, as soon as Kaiya could smell the putrid, rotten egg stench of the sulfur ponds, she saw the silhouette of the dragon's form flying around the mountain that jutted up from the pools. Before she knew what she was doing, she felt her legs pumping into a sprint. She couldn't lose the dragon now. She needed this. She needed to feel powerful because after the revelations she gained from the interrogation of Gulum-Ei, she had felt so powerless.

In no time, she approached the jagged rocks that made up Bonestrewn Crest. The dragon had seen her, but had yet to attack. She felt the wind from his wings as he flew overhead, the great shadow of the beast overtaking her in momentary darkness. The sound of his beating wings did nothing but stoke her fire - this dragon would be an offering to her rage. When he passed over again, she saw her opportunity.

JOOR ZAH FRUL!

Her Shout hit its mark. A blue cloud enveloped the flying dragon, slowly bringing him to land whether he wished to or not. She felt the earth beneath her shake as he crashed into the ground atop Bonestrewn Crest, but she was ready. She ran towards the beast as he clumsily tried to right himself, casting her Ebonyflesh armor spell over her as she approached him. Before the dragon could gain his bearings, she was on him with her sword and dagger, slashing away at the scales of his neck. All the training with Mercer had paid off - she was a virtual whirlwind of blades, slashing and stabbing at the skin beneath the scales and the vulnerable flesh of his wings. The dragon turned his head to face her, preparing a Thu'um of his own.

YOL TOOR SHUL!

Kaiya leapt and rolled out of the way of the incoming fire, ducking behind one of the exposed rocks that littered the crest. The dragon stomped towards her on his awkward limbs, shaking the ground beneath her. Pebbles shook and danced away around her feet, but she stood strong, anticipating the dragon's every move. When the fire had abated, she jumped out from being the rock to face the dragon again, taking a deep breath to prepare for another Shout.

KRII LUN AUS!

Kaiya watched as an ethereal purple stream enveloped the angry dragon, seeping into his very bones and causing him to appear as though he emanated a purple glow. The Shout had once again hit its mark. Her sword and dagger at the ready, she stormed towards the dragon in a fury, determined to finish him off once and for all. She slashed a deep cut into his wing as she approached his head, ripping a cry of pain from the beast's throat. She felt her rage move through her limbs as she stood before him, looking straight into his eyes in a show of dominance. The power she so badly needed to possess coursed through her veins as she slashed at the dragon's maw, spinning with a speed she didn't know she had. Just as the dragon readied himself to fight back with another Thu'um, she grabbed onto one of the spikes that covered his head and used it to launch herself on top of him. He bucked and snapped at her, but it was no match for her determination. The Shout he had prepared ripped from his body but just shot forward, far from reaching his attacker that plunged her sword over and over into his scales. With one final thrust from her dragonbone blade, the beast let out a roar of defeat before crashing his head back into the earth.

It was over. She had won. She hopped off of the dead dragon as his soul started crackling and popping around her, preparing herself to take his final offering. As it rushed into her, she could feel his unrest, his pain, and his betrayal. _Betrayal?_ The soul she consumed allowed her to feel as he felt and gain his understanding, but she was struggling with coming to terms with his feeling of betrayal.

Then it hit her. He had not attacked. He was one of Paarthurnax's allies. She had gone against her word by killing him, taking the life of a dragon who had given his vow to remain peaceful.

The realization made her feel sick. _What had she done?_ In her quest to feel powerful and to overcome the blow to her pride she had taken in Solitude, she took the life of an ally. Of someone she had sworn to spare. After fighting the Blades on their indiscriminate killing and promising she'd never be like them, here she was, taking the life of a dragon who was not her enemy. She was just like them. _What was happening to her?_

She felt her knees buckle underneath her and she clumsily plopped down next to the bones of the dragon she had just slain. Leaning back against its rib cage, she let her emotions take over. She was tired. She was worn. She was heartbroken at what she had done. With no one else around to see her in this vulnerable moment, she cried.

* * *

Kaiya winced at the squeaking of her wet boots on the stones as she crept her way into the cistern. It was the early hours of the morning and most of the thieves were still asleep. She could hear soft voices coming from one of the beds against the wall, two thieves most likely in deep discussion, but those voices were the only other sound besides the water crashing from the pipes into the pond of the cistern. As if in habit, her eyes moved across the expanse of the room to lock onto the Guildmaster that stood at his desk, his body hunched over the ledger. He looked exhausted.

No matter how much Kaiya had tried to prepare herself for the moment in which she would lay eyes on him, it was of no use. She felt an immediate shot of pain course through to her stomach at the sight of him. All she could think about was how badly she wished she could go back to how they were just a few days prior, when her biggest obstacle was how to get him to stay a little longer in the warmth of her bed. But it wasn't a few days prior, it was now. Now she knew his dark secret about Maven. Now she knew his past with a thief named Karliah that had broken his heart. Now she knew, but she still had a job to do. She still had to report to him "right away" lest she hear his wrath. Now she had to face him, all her new knowledge intact.

She approached the desk with no small amount of apprehension, trying to stay as quiet as possible to prolong the time before their eyes would meet. He would see it written all over her in an instant. She was not as successful as she had hoped in her quest to remain quiet, for Mercer heard her and shot his head up to look at her when she was still only halfway across the cistern. The look on his face sent her already pounding heart into shock, thrumming so hard it was difficult to distinguish individual beats. His face had lit up, a small smile dancing along the corners of his usual scowl in appreciation that she had returned. He was no fool however, and noticed almost immediately that something was wrong. His smile, as small as it had been, wilted back into a frown. The sight caused Kaiya to swallow the lump that had formed in her throat, squeezing her eyes shut to concentrate on getting it down.

"What? What is it?" he asked, unable to keep the trepidation he felt from leaching into his voice as she stood before him at his desk.

"Well hey to you too," she said flirtatiously, trying with all her might to act normal. They could just talk about it later, right? Now all she wanted was a few minutes with the one person on Nirn who might be able to make her feel better, even if he was the source of her current pain.

He stared back with a look of incredulity, not buying her act. "What do you have for me, Kaiya? We can say our hellos after you report to me what you've learned."

 _What I've learned? Oh gods._ The phrasing he used hit her like a slap, although it was unintentional. He noticed her wince and his eyebrows snapped together in confusion.

"Kaiya…" he started calmly, as if he was speaking to a wild animal that he didn't want to spook. "What happened?"

"Gulum-Ei happened," she joked, still trying to maintain her insouciant attitude, as transparent as it was. "You were right about him, by the way. He is a slimy bastard."

"Did he give you any information?" he asked impatiently, trying to force the answer out of her faster.

"Not at first, but I have my ways" she smiled as she spoke. If she was to tell him something that would break him in a matter of moments then at least she could have her moment to shine.

"I know," he said with a crooked eyebrow. "That's why I sent you. Get on with it."

"Can't I have a drink first, Mercer? I'm exhausted." This was her last attempt at staving off what would be a most unpleasant conversation. She knew better than to think it would work, though.

"Enough!" Mercer boomed. "Did he give you a name or not, Kaiya!?"

"It's Karliah, okay!?" she shrieked back, surprised at her reaction. "It was Karliah." She spoke softly now, her head hanging a bit in fear of what was to come.

Mercer was silent. Her eyes moved up to find his, but his were glossed over, staring off into space. His face was pale, almost white. This news had not been what he expected. After a few moments in stunned silence, he finally spoke. "No…" It trailed off into the atmosphere, apparently not intended to be a part of the conversation.

"Mercer?" Kaiya spoke now with concern. "Are you okay?" She had expected that he would not be happy about the news, but this reaction was more emotional than she thought him capable of. Remembering what Gulum-Ei had said about Mercer being heartbroken by Karliah's betrayal, she felt that familiar slash in her heart begin bleeding again. He still had strong feelings where Karliah was concerned, that was for sure.

"I know you loved her, Mercer." Kaiya spoke softly. Now it was her turn to try not to spook the wild animal. "I understand this is not good news."

"Leave me." was Mercer's response. His eyes had finally snapped back into focus and now bore into Kaiya's.

"Leave…?" Kaiya asked in a breathy voice. "No next steps? No new mission? No 'find this bitch and slit her throat?'"

"I said leave me." He thundered back, and she saw the rage barely lying under the surface. He was cracking.

"Okay," she breathed, throwing her hands up in surrender. "I'll leave you alone."

He did not respond as she backed away, his eyes once again taking on the stare that showed he was looking at nothing here. Before she got too far away she turned back to him and spoke softly, barely over a whisper, "I'll be in the Flagon if you need me, Mercer."

He heard her, but her words did not register. His mind was a chaotic mess but there was one phrase that seemed to rise above the cacophony of his jumbled thoughts. One phrase that seemed to stab into his consciousness and would not release.

 _After all this time, she's returned…_


	41. Chapter 41

_16th of First Seed 4E203_

Once again, Kaiya found herself back at the Ragged Flagon, drinking away her emotions. The past few days had been some of the most difficult Kaiya had suffered through in a while, and she was currently way too sober to handle that. Vekel was not yet awake seeing as it was barely sunrise, so Kaiya took the liberty to serve herself a bottle or five. She needed that blissful numbness that came from the fourth or fifth bottle, so she cracked open two at once to get started. In no time, she was on her third.

Her thoughts were buzzing around her like bees in one of Maven's infamous hives and she hated it. She decided to take this opportunity as a time to review. The symbol that had adorned the bill of sale of Goldenglow and the purchase agreement from Honningbrew had been that of a former guild member named Karliah. A Karliah that had once been loved by her current Guildmaster, the very same Guildmaster that she currently… had strong feelings for. (With all the buzzing in her head right now, it was not the time to ponder over if she loved him or not.) This Karliah had betrayed the guild, killed the former Guildmaster and hurt Mercer in the process. She took a swift sip from her mead bottle in anger. _That bitch would pay_.

But then there was the revelation about Mercer's relationship with Maven. He had been held captive by this woman for twenty-five years, having to fulfill her wants and needs in whichever way she saw fit. Kaiya felt a shiver of disgust course through her at the thought. But Mercer did it all for the guild - for her influence in order to help them. Kaiya wondered for a moment if this arrangement happened before or after Karliah's place in his history. Another shiver shot through Kaiya. There was no angle in which she could look at this information and not be torn by it.

But then there were her own actions. Her own despicable, selfish actions that had taken down an ally. She could never forgive herself for that. Kaiya prided herself on her loyalty; if she gave her word to protect someone or that she was someone's friend or ally, then she meant it. She took her relationships with others very seriously and would normally slice through anyone who gave her friends even minimal trouble. And yet here she was, drinking down the guilt from murdering one of her own associates. She took another long draw from her third mead bottle, finishing the contents. It was finally time for her fourth. That warm, familiar feeling of numbness should be hitting her soon. Any moment now.

She finished her fourth.

Then her fifth.

As she cracked open number six, she heard footsteps behind her approaching the bar. She turned around sloppily and almost fell out of her stool in order to see who it was. Luckily, the approaching figure was a friend, not foe, as they were able to help her get situated back onto her stool.

"Thanks Vekel," Kaiya said almost sheepishly, somewhat embarrassed from her pitiful agility.

"A little early to be three sheets to the wind, eh Kaiya?" Vekel chuckled as he walked behind the bar, wrapping his white apron around his waist.

"I wish I was three sheets to the wind," Kaiya groaned. "Whatever that means."

"It's a nautical saying," Vekel answered with another chuckle. "Means drunk."

"Well don't you just sound like a salty sailor with your nautical sayings" Kaiya joked before finishing up her current mead. She held up the empty bottle to signal that she needed another.

Vekel complied and cracked open another mead, paying attention to the number of corks that littered the bar where Kaiya sat. "What's up, Kai?" he asked sincerely. "It's barely sunrise and you're already bingeing as if you witnessed a murder this morning."

She laughed darkly at his question, lifting an eyebrow up in answer. "I wish all that happened was that I witnessed a murder."

Vekel tilted his head in impatience towards her before grabbing a glass to clean while they spoke. "I'm listening Kai, go on." He knew that the best way to get her to talk was to speak as little as necessary and just keep reminding her that he was listening.

"I'm not at liberty to say, Veks."

Well that was new to him. She had never been in a situation she wasn't allowed to speak of before.

"I'll talk to you about it when I can but until then, just keep feeding me drinks until I pass out okay?"

He nodded once in agreement before returning his focus to the glass in his hand. It might be good for her to pass out. At least then she'd get some sleep.

* * *

Kaiya woke with a very unsettling feeling that she wasn't quite sure where she was. She could hear the familiar clanking of dishes and bottles from the Ragged Flagon, but yet she was lying in a bed. She could hear the faint sound of water gushing out of pipes in the cistern, but yet she wasn't in the cistern. As she sat up, she felt a hand on her shoulder steadying her, and she jumped a bit in surprise.

"Easy love, it's just me" Delvin spoke softly from his position in the bed next to her.

"Oh Sithis, we didn't…. Did we?" Kaiya asked in horror as she backed away, her eyes so wide Delvin couldn't help but laugh.

"Seriously Kai?" he joked as he shook his head at her. "I may be a lot of things but I am no predator. Usually I like the women I sleep with to be a bit more… oh what's the word?... conscious!"

Kaiya remained silent as she continued trying to remember why she was in this bed in the Flagon and what had gotten her there. Delvin continued to laugh at her addled state.

"You were falling asleep on the bar in the Flagon by lunchtime sweetheart," Delvin crooned as he brushed her hair out of her face in a soothing gesture. "I figured it'd be a good idea to let you sleep it off before you tried to find your way home in this state."

"Thanks Delvin," she said with a sheepish half smile. "You're too good to me."

"Nevah!" he exclaimed before standing up from the bed. "How's your head?"

"It feels like the inside of a Dwarven ruin, actually." When Delvin looked back at her with confusion, she explained "A lot of hammering, loud noises, stone scraping metal…. It's not a good way for a head to feel."

"Ah," Delvin responded with a bit more clarity. "You should get yourself home then before Mercer needs you."

Suddenly, Kaiya remembered why she had been drinking herself into Oblivion in the first place. A rush of emotion fought with the hangover she already had, causing the room to spin and the alcohol in her stomach to slosh.

"Oh gods, I think I'm going to be sick" she proclaimed as she clamored out of the small bed. Once on her feet, she was able to stave off the effects of the onslaught of emotion and alcohol enough to keep her stomach contents where they were. With a few deep breaths, she was ready to move on. Without a word, she stumbled clumsily from the room in which she had been sleeping, Delvin close on her heels.

"Where are you goin' love?" Delvin asked with worry, doubtful that she had pulled herself together enough to be moving around with such determination.

"I've got to find Mercer," she announced, pushing through the door to the cistern. She shot a look over her shoulder at Delvin in order to give him a smile in thanks for helping her before making her way to the Guildmaster's desk.

Once she stood before the desk however, she lost any of the determination she had moments prior. Why had she felt so drawn here? To Mercer? She knew that nothing they discussed would lead to anything good, yet she felt compelled to talk with him nonetheless.

He stood silent, his eyes on the desk in front of him, still seemingly stunned from their previous conversation. Kaiya took a moment to look around the cistern, seeing it practically empty. All of the thieves must be either out on jobs or drinking in the Flagon. How long had she slept?

"Mercer," she began once she was confident they were alone, "we need to talk."

She anticipated that he would yell at her, projecting his anger onto the one closest to him, but he did not. She half expected that he would throw an insult at her in his anger, but he did not. She had imagined several different scenarios that might take place when she tried to start a conversation, but silence was not one of them. She was dumbfounded.

"Okayyyyy…." she drawled out, trying to be patient but growing more and more concerned as time went on. He hadn't even acknowledged her presence. "Well, it seems like now isn't a good time."

No answer.

"Fine. I'm going home, Mercer." As her patience waned, she crossed her arms in front of her chest in irritation. She didn't do anything to make him mad. In fact, she is the one that had more reason to be upset! She had just had her world turned upside-down and he couldn't even talk to her?! How dare he be so selfish? "When you feel like you're able to talk to me like I'm a human being that is here to help, here to do whatever you ask, here to help you in your quest to save the guild, then I'll be at my house. Until then," she turned to go as she spoke, "I hope your time alone gives you comfort."

She stormed off in the direction of the secret entrance into the graveyard, but she didn't get far before she felt a hand grab her elbow and give it a tug. When she spun around to see who dare stop her in one of her infamous stomp offs, she was surprised to see the tired and pained face of Mercer. He didn't seem mad or even irritated at her antics, just tired. His face immediately caused the wall she had built up around her heart to fall once again. If he only knew the power he held over her with as much as a single glance.

"Follow me," he spoke quietly, yet with a firmness that told Kaiya she should not ask questions. He pulled her behind him as he made his way towards the Flagon all the while Kaiya struggled to keep up with his long, determined strides.

"Slow down, Mercer!" she cried as she stumbled behind him. "There's no need for you to drag me behind you like a petulant child!"

He turned to face her so abruptly it caused her to stumble again, his grip on her elbow the only thing keeping her from falling. "Shh, quiet!" he whispered through clenched teeth. "I'm going to take you somewhere I have never shown another living soul. Can you keep your mouth shut long enough for us to get there?"

Kaiya's eyes went wide at Mercer's words, but she dared not respond. She nodded quickly in acquiescence before Mercer turned on his heels and started out once again in the direction of the Flagon.

Where they would normally turn to head towards the tavern however, Mercer quietly pulled her through the heavy door leading into the Ratway vaults. A tinge of fear crept through Kaiya at this strange turn of events. Why would he be bringing her into the Ratway? But she pushed it aside and reminded herself that she trusted this man. That, and she was pretty confident she could defend herself against any of the inhabitants of the dank city under the city.

Their journey into the Ratway was not a long one. After about fifteen steps, Mercer pulled her into one of the alcoves that lined the walls. He reminded her once again to stay quiet with a finger to his lips before he looked around to ensure no one was watching. She topped his keen eyesight with her spell of detect life, showing him with confidence that they had not been followed and no peering eyes roamed the vaults. With this reassurance, he moved into the alcove and pressed one of the bricks that made up the wall, causing the sound of rocks grinding on rocks to permeate from within the wall. Kaiya was taken aback when she realized what was happening - alternating bricks going up the wall were pulled inward, revealing slots in which they could place their hands and feet. With a look up, Kaiya understood what the hand holds were for. There was a hole cut out of the rocks in the space above them - they were climbing into whatever was beyond.

Mercer went first, carefully placing his feet and hands into the spaces provided by the bricks before he reached the hole. Gripping onto the sides, he pulled himself up and into the area above. Kaiya went next, following Mercer's example and climbing up until she reached the hole. Mercer reached out his hand to pull her up before pressing another brick in the wall beside him to retract the bricks they used to climb so no one could follow them.

Before them now laid a set of brick stairs, identical to the rest of the Ratway. Kaiya had no idea where she was, but once again reminded herself that she trusted the man she was with. If he trusted her enough to bring her here, wherever this was, she had to show him the same. Besides, she had no choice now. To calm her fears, Mercer reached over and grabbed her hand in his before giving it a light squeeze. He led the way up the stairs and she followed behind, still silent from his command earlier. She was beginning to notice the importance of stealth in their current situation.

When they reached the top of the stairs, they were met by an archway cut into the bricks of what once was a wall. Mercer led her inside before turning to gauge her reaction to the room they found themselves in. Kaiya was shocked, her wide eyes showing the proof of her surprise. They were in an office. There was a desk with a chair, a bookshelf and even a weapon case amongst random chests and books in the room. It seemed so commonplace, but that's what made it odd. A secret office amongst the filth of the Ratway.

Kaiya was drawn to the weapon case on the far side of the room. It was locked, but that did not prevent her from seeing the beautiful enchanted glass blade that lied within. "Chillrend," Mercer said softly, breaking the silence that had seemed to infiltrate the room.

Kaiya continued looking around the room before her attention was brought to the desk before her. A small snicker left her as she saw the book that rested on the desk.

"What's so funny?" he asked from behind her.

"Really, Mercer?" she asked between laughs. "Lusty Argonian Maid?" Seeing the pink in his cheeks at her finding what he obviously never meant for her to see caused her to laugh even harder. "Oh it's okay, my lusty Breton rogue," she joked as she reached up to touch his cheek. "We all have our secrets."

The mention of secrets brought Kaiya's thoughts firmly back to their current predicament and why Mercer had felt the need to bring her to a secret room to talk in the first place. Whatever was happening in the guild was apparently not common knowledge.

"We need to make a plan," Mercer stated flatly, understanding from the change in Kaiya's face that she was thinking the same as he was. She nodded sadly in response, disappointed that the moment she was allowed to laugh was past. "Did Gulum-Ei say where she was?"

She shrugged casually as she let her finger trace the side of his desk, unable to make eye contact with him. "Apparently all she said was she was going 'where the end began' or some shit. Have I mentioned how much I just love the cryptic clues? Let me guess, it's something only you would understand? Give me a break." She couldn't help the aggravation that crept into her response when she talked about Karliah. She'd be lying if she said she didn't feel jealous about the fact that Mercer loved her once. Her Mercer.

"I wasn't in love with her, Kaiya." It was as if he knew from her tone that jealousy was consuming her. He lifted her chin to look at him as he backed her against the desk in the office. With one foot, he pushed the chair out of the way before lifting Kaiya up to set her on the surface of the desk so that she was more easily at eye level.

"You don't have to lie to me, Mercer" she explained casually as if it didn't matter to her after all. "Gulum-Ei told me that you did."

Mercer couldn't help but smile. "Oh and you believe everything he says now, is that it? I thought you said he was slimy."

"He IS slimy," Kaiya retorted confidently, "but at least he told me the truth."

The space between Mercer's brows crinkled in concentration as he tried to work through what she meant. "The truth about what?"

"Everything." Kaiya shrugged again, crossing her arms to show her irritation.

"Hmm," Mercer responded with incredulity. "Well what did he tell you about Karliah?"

"No, that's not how this is going to work" Kaiya jabbed a finger into Mercer's chest as he stood before her. "You tell me about Karliah. I want to hear it from YOU."

"Fine," Mercer growled through his clenched teeth as he ran his fingers through his hair in irritation.

"It's true she was in the Guild before, but it didn't end well as I'm sure you could assume. She left after the death of Gallus and betraying us all. We tried to find her, but she had vanished."

"And her relationship to you?" Kaiya asked with arms crossed.

"She was like my partner. We were close, yes. Went on almost every heist together, had each other's backs. But I did not love her like Gulum-Ei told you I did."

Kaiya arched an eyebrow at Mercer. She wasn't buying his story. Mercer grew tired of her attitude. He wasn't used to explaining himself like this.

"Believe me or not, at this point I don't care. I told you the truth. I brought you to this room that I have never shown another soul. If I haven't proven to you by now that you can trust me, then all has been in vain." Mercer stood up to his full height and begun to pace, causing Kaiya's nervousness to spike.

"No," she cried, reaching out to grab his arm to bring him to her. "I believe you. It's just…" she looked down as he turned his full attention to her. She was ashamed of her jealousy. "It's just that it's hard to think about you being with someone else, is all."

Mercer smirked at her attempt to soothe his anger, her former obstinance long gone in the face of the threat of him giving up. He let her pull him to her and put one hand on either side of where she sat on his desk. He looked her in the eye before he spoke, "well is there anyone else here right now?"

"No," she smiled as she answered, feeling the overwhelming effect of Mercer's full attention on her. "Just you and me." She reached up to run her fingers through his hair as she held his head to look at her.

"That's right," he growled as he leaned in to touch his lips to hers. "Just us." One of his hands made its way to her lower back, rubbing circles on her skin underneath her leathers. It was clear what he wanted.

"What about planning?" she asked, although any objection she might have had was slowly fading as his attention remained on her.

"Oh we'll plan that later, but there's no rush." He leaned down and kissed her up and down her neck as he spoke. "She obviously is ready to be found now, so it's not like she's going anywhere."

"Mm," she moaned in appreciation. "Well in that case…" she let the end of her sentence trail off into a smirk to show Mercer she was ready for whatever he wanted.

With a growl, he pushed her down onto the desk as she let out a girlish giggle. As his nimble fingers began to unhook the clasps of her guild leathers, a small, flickering flame at the edge of the desk caught her attention. Looking over, she realized it was a single, solitary candle, illuminating the room with its dim light. As she stared, it began to remind her of the soft light that emanated from Mercer's window on that fateful night when she saw two shadows. That night she was turned away. That night he was probably with Maven.

Her smile faded as she watched their shadows flicker against the walls and ceiling, the undeniable proof of two bodies in candlelight although she could think of nothing else but Mercer's body with another.


	42. Chapter 42

_16th of First Seed 4E203_

"Wait!" She called out as she sat up, clutching her loosened leathers to her chest.

An impatient grunt was her response. Mercer ran his fingers through his hair in frustration as he eyed her, his brows arched in anticipation for her inevitable explanation. She sat still for a moment, breathing deep to gain her composure. Thoughts of two shadows still danced in her vision as she tried to steady her racing heart. Her eyes began to betray her as one solitary tear made its way down her cheek.

"What is it Kaiya?" Mercer spat with frustration clear in his tone. "This isn't still about Karliah, is it?"

Kaiya shook her head in response, not trusting herself enough to speak.

"Then what's wrong?"

Through gritted teeth, Kaiya uttered "Maven."

"What about her?" Mercer couldn't hide the edge of concern that seeped its way into his tone. "What's going on Kaiya? Did she say something?"

Kaiya shook her head again. "Gulum-Ei told me about your relationship. I know, Mercer."

She watched him closely as she uttered this, hoping for any sign that the story she had been told was a fabrication. She silently hoped that he would knit his brows in confusion or that he would laugh in her face at the preposterousness of her statement, but he did neither of those things. Instead, he stared back. He was silent for a moment, just a moment, but it was enough time for Kaiya to know that it was true. That validation was all she needed to turn her sadness into anger.

"When were you going to tell me about this, Mercer?" she was yelling now. She pushed him in his sternum causing him to take an awkward step backward as she jumped off the table and stood up to her full height, letting her loosened leathers hang open. "Or did you just intend to keep it a secret indefinitely?!"

Mercer roared back in defense. "And how in Oblivion is this any of your business, Kaiya!?" He towered over her as they stood, his enraged eyes looking down his nose at her.

"What?!" she cried as she clenched her fists by her sides. "Mercer you fucked her literally the same night you fucked me. How is that not my business?"

"And what makes you think that? Did Gulum-Ei tell you that too?"

She crossed her arms over her chest while cocking her hip out to the side. She wouldn't let him get the better of her in this time. "I know that because I'm not dumb, Mercer. Tell me the truth. Were you or were you not fucking her the night I was turned away from your house?"

"What are you talking about, Kaiya? I never turned you away from my house." The confusion on his face showed that he wasn't lying about this. He really didn't know.

"The night before I left for Solitude. You told me to stop by, so I did. But Vald told me to go away because you 'didn't wish to be disturbed.' I saw two shadows in your bedroom window, Mercer. I know you weren't alone. Now tell me the truth."

He stayed quiet for a moment while his mind went back to the night in question. He never gave the order to turn her away, of that he was sure. Then it hit him. She said Vald. It wasn't just any of his mercenaries that turned her away, but the one that worked for him only because he originally worked for Maven. She had been the one to instruct Vald to tell Kaiya to leave and there was nothing he could do about it. "Kaiya, I didn't turn you away. I had no idea that happened."

"You didn't answer my question, Mercer." Her posture was rigid, a physical manifestation of her will.

Mercer was cornered and he didn't like it. "Since when do I owe you an explanation of who I spend my time with?"

"Oh really?" she yelped as she threw her hands up in exasperation. "Is that where we're taking this conversation? See I was under the impression that you didn't have much of a choice, and that was something that caused me to have sympathy for you. But maybe I'm mistaken and it is a choice you freely made. But I don't know since you're not being honest with me about it."

"Why should I feel the need to tell you about it?" he boomed at her. "Are we in a relationship in which we've discussed being exclusive? Is this a conversation we've had or just one you've imagined?"

"Watch it, Mercer" she warned. "Don't call me crazy. Don't do that."

"I'm just trying to figure out why it matters to you what goes on between me and Maven. I'm still not seeing how this is any of your business."

"Oh I don't know, maybe because I started getting roped into her weird jealousy games? Or perhaps because you have warned me that my life was in danger from her because she viewed you as a possession? Or I don't know, maybe when you and I started fucking you should have let me know you were also fucking the one person on Nirn I truly despise!" She punctuated each point with a jab of her finger into Mercer's chest, her pitch growing higher and higher as she rambled. "You seriously don't think I had a right to know that when you were coming over to fuck me you had just had your dick in that godsdamned Hagraven!?"

"You think this is something I enjoy talking about? You think this is something I like people knowing? Especially the girl I'm currently fu…. Involved with?" Mercer's voice was shaky, the whites of his eyes visible around his entire iris. He was beginning to panic.

Kaiya decided not to remark on his correction of their relationship even though it made her heart flutter just to hear that he considered himself involved with her. She would go downhill in this argument fast though if she let his little crumbs he tossed her get in the way of what she wanted to know.

"Not everything that needs to be talked about has to be something that we enjoy! I've talked to you about some serious shit in my past I didn't necessarily like talking about, but it's part of getting to know someone. It's part of building trust. I thought we had a bit more of that, Mercer. You know I would never tell anyone your business, but from what I've heard I'm the last to know anyway."

He paused for a moment as he looked down, trying to find the right words to say. "Well it was intentional, Footpad. I knew you wouldn't see me the same way if you knew."

"Well you didn't really have faith in me to let me make my own mind up about that now did you?" she crossed her arms again, her anger beginning to fade to irritation.

"Faith in you? No. It's not about faith." His head rose to meet her gaze, tension building in his brows as the conversation grew more personal. "Do you think I like this situation? Did Gulum-Ei tell you I had much of a choice or are you really just that selfish?"

"Selfish!?" She shrieked in reply, "You're the one keeping secrets because you don't want to talk about it!"

"Yes selfish!" He thundered. "Have you paused for even one moment to think about how this whole situation has affected me for years? How it continues to affect me? How it continues to affect every decision I make? Or have you only thought about how it affects you?"

"Of course I've thought of how it affects you, you idiot! That's why I'm so godsdamned mad!"

"What?!" Mercer's hands flew to his hair in exasperation, a manic tone taking over his voice. "Do you even hear yourself right now?!"

"I don't know how to handle this Mercer, okay?" she shrieked as tears started to well up in her eyes, spilling over onto her cheeks. "I'm so godsdamned angry at what she's doing to you, at what she's done to you, that I have no idea how to fucking process it!"

He stayed quiet, letting her work through her current meltdown without his interference. She deflated at his lack of retort, her body caving in on itself and slumping back onto the desk.

"I mean, yeah I'm upset you didn't tell me and that I had to hear about it from that slimy bastard," she pointed a finger at him halfheartedly in her last stand against him. "But I can't really blame you. I'm just so mad at her I can't think straight. I mean I'm shaking, seriously. Look! I'm shaking!" She held up her trembling hand for him to see as proof.

Mercer continued to stand quietly as he stared back at her. This is not how he expected this conversation to end up. She was mad _for_ him. He was unsure as to how to proceed from this. Not only had he prepared for a fight that was over before it ever really got started, but his tiny Dragonborn seemed ready to fight a war against the most powerful being in Skyrim on his behalf.

She took his lack of response as confusion, so she continued. "She fucked with the wrong person when she fucked with you, Mercer. She doesn't know it yet, but fucking with you will be her downfall. I'll see to that."

"You're cute when you're determined" he finally spoke as he approached where she sat on the table. There was a softness to his eyes that hadn't been there earlier as he brushed a loose strand of her hair behind her ear. Kaiya's insistent defense of him had completely dissipated his anger. He was used to feeling as she felt now, but it was so nice to not be alone with it anymore. "You'd go to go to war with Maven Black-Briar because of a bad deal I made 25 years ago?"

"Damn right!" she announced, her eyebrows knitting together with resolve. "No one fucks with one of my people and gets away with it!" She paused once she noticed the softness in Mercer's features as he looked at her. She had not expected that. "Plus," she added "I'd rather not share you with someone that has to get laid through coercion. That is less than ideal."

Mercer laughed, "you're right Footpad, that is definitely not ideal for me either." He leaned forward, touching his forehead to hers as he smiled, still unable to get over her stern defense of him. There was no way he was letting her mess with Maven though, that was for sure. "You know I can't let you do anything though, right?"

"What do you mean?" she shot up straight, surprise all over her face. "Why can't I?"

"Because I'm not going to let you put yourself in danger over this. She will retaliate and you know it."

"And like I've said before," she argued "I can handle her."

He was quiet for a moment as he debated the best course of action to handle her determination. He had just praised her for it, so he knew he was never going to convince her to drop it. Truthfully, he wouldn't have it any other way. "What if we made a deal?"

"Ooh bartering!" she laughed at his offer. "It's almost like that's how you got yourself in this mess! What could go wrong?!"

He spread her knees with his hands before positioning his hips in between her thighs as he moved closer. Sliding his hands up her legs, he gave her his offer. "I'm not going to try to talk you out of something you've made your mind up about, but could I delay you maybe?" As a distraction, he began kissing down her jawline.

"How long, Mercer?" she asked with a touch of laughter in her voice. "I don't like waiting for my vengeance."

"I know, my little Forsworn," he joked, his kisses trailing lower onto her collarbone. "What about until after we handle this Karliah business? That way we can stay focused on this job before we move onto the next one?"

"Hmmmm" she hummed in thought. "You make a strong case."

"Mmm" he hummed, his attention swiftly being taken from the conversation at hand.

"And after we handle Karliah I can destroy Maven however I see fit?" Her hands began to roam around Mercer's chest as she spoke, slowly unhooking the clasps on his leathers.

"After we handle Karliah you are welcome to do as you please."

"You'll have a deal if you can answer one question," Kaiya offered, a grin taking shape on her face as he began to remove her leathers from her shoulders.

"What's that?" he asked, although she was sure she could get him to agree to anything in this moment.

"I'm better in bed, right?"

Mercer barked out a laugh before grabbing her hand and pressing it to his bulging pants. "I think you can answer that one yourself, Footpad." He pressed her back onto the table as she giggled at his response, his mouth working its way down her exposed form.

"Oh wait, one more thing!" Kaiya exclaimed as she sat back up with an annoyed groan coming from Mercer.

And at that, she leaned over and blew out the solitary candle that lit up the room, throwing them and their entwined shadows into darkness.

* * *

"It's Snow Veil Sanctum, by the way."

Mercer broke the silence that comfortably lay amongst the two thieves as they picked up their scattered clothing throughout the hidden office.

"Huh?" Kaiya asked as she fastened her guild leathers over her breast band. "If we were having a conversation I'm sorry but I totally spaced there for a minute."

Mercer chuckled to himself at her honesty. "It was that good, eh?" He joked as he ran his fingers through his damp and disheveled hair before giving her a wink.

"You were there!" Kaiya was thankful that her cheeks were already red to hide the blush that Mercer's flirtation brought forth.

"Well as flattering as that was, I was telling you where we have to go to find Karliah."

"Oh." Kaiya would be lying if she said she wasn't disappointed in the abrupt ending to their solace away from discussing business. She knew it had to come sometime, but she was usually the last to break the blissful afterglow between them to bring it up. She noticed the way his all too familiar scowl was back in place as his mind undoubtedly searched out a plan. Just moments ago he had looked peaceful, happy even, but now that they were back to business it seemed as though that blissed out look on his face was retired once again.

"Wait did you say 'we'?" She asked with a little more excitement than was probably warranted.

"Yes, I did." He didn't seem to share her enthusiasm. "This may be the most important job that the guild has had in years. There's no way I'm sitting this one out."

"Are we bringing anyone else or just you and me?" She hoped she didn't sound too hopeful, but she was quite intrigued as to what it would be like to travel with Mercer. They had rarely spent time together outside the cistern, so this was bound to be interesting.

"Just me and you," he said as he finished lacing up his boots. "Well unless you want to bring someone else…" he let his sentence trail off to see if she'd take the bait. She didn't disappoint.

"No! Just me and you is great!"

He felt a smirk take shape in the corner of his mouth as he eyed her, the excitement almost palpable from her response.

"Remember Kaiya, this is an important job." His tone took on the manner of Guildmaster as he approached her, placing a hand on either shoulder. "This isn't a vacation."

"Well duh," she chastised him as she wrapped her arms around his waist. "Doesn't mean there can't be a little fun though, right Guildmaster?"

What would normally have been taken as a flirtatious joke seemed to set him off. "If you can't take this seriously then maybe I should bring Vex."

Kaiya reeled at his words, unexpected as they were. "What? Mercer you know I'm the best for this job. What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong!" he boomed as he disentangled himself from her arms.

"Then why can't you look me in the eye?" His behavior was making her nervous. Was this job really that dangerous?

As if out of spite, he leaned forward and glared into her eyes. "We leave at dawn. Get some rest." Then he spun away from her and made his way out of the secret office, leaving Kaiya to find her own way out.

She stood bewildered, her mind racing to try to catch up with the mood swings that Mercer had just thrown at her. She knew him well enough now that she could begin to see what was happening. He was scared. Whatever this mission entailed and whoever this Karliah woman was put actual fear into Mercer. As she gathered herself enough to make her way out of the secret entrance to the hidden office, she couldn't shake the feeling that there was something that she was missing. It didn't seem that terrifying to her; Karliah was only one person after all.

She made her way home to begin packing her things for the long trip that lay ahead. The excitement that had once taken residence in her heart at the idea of traveling with Mercer had been replaced with a sense of dread and apprehension, but she couldn't put her finger on why. Normally, he would come spend the night with her before a big job, but he was nowhere in sight. She assumed he just needed space, but maybe there was more to it than that.

 _What was waiting for them in Snow Veil Sanctum?_


	43. Chapter 43

_17th of First Seed 4E203_

Mercer had been quiet for most of the trip thus far. He had taken initiative to speak only in terms of directions and plans, but nothing that would cause anyone that passed them on the roads to think that they even knew each other at all. Each time Kaiya tried to start a conversation, it would end in more silence. She would tell him tales of travelling she had done in the past and stories involving the places they were passing on the roads, but he seemed to have no interest in what she was saying. In fact, it seemed like he wasn't hearing her at all. It was only when she asked about Karliah that he seemed aware of the fact that there was someone else with him. When he spoke of the past, he was obsessive. He was manic. He would jump from detail to detail, never staying in a straight line with his story. She could tell that Karliah was a topic that was very personal to him. Even when he spoke at length about her betrayal of the guild and the overwhelming blow it had been to them, he was careful not to divulge too much information. The past several hours had done nothing to ease Kaiya's paranoia about the job ahead of them. She found herself repeatedly thinking about what must be awaiting them once they reached this old Nordic tomb. _What was waiting for them in Snow Veil Sanctum?_

They found themselves outside of Kynesgrove in Eastmarch as the sun began to set, so they agreed that they would stop for the night. As they made their way into the Braidwood Inn, Kaiya couldn't help but think that Mercer didn't seem to have tired much at all over their journey, his movements still just as jerky and erratic. He was a man possessed. This probably explained why he didn't notice that the inhabitants of Kynesgrove seemed quite familiar with his companion.

"Well if it isn't the Dragonborn!" Roggi Knot-Beard called out as they approached the counter where he stood with the Innkeeper, Iddra.

"Hey Roggi! Hey Iddra!" Kaiya called out, excited to run into some of her old friends from her more heroic days in Skyrim. Roggi was just as excited as she was as he leapt from behind the counter and charged at her. He swept her up into a huge hug, twirling her around in circles as Mercer stared on in confusion.

"It's been ages little Dragonborn!" Roggi said as he twirled her.

"Put me down you giant Nord!" she cried out, although her giddy voice betrayed her. "And what have I told you about calling me Dragonborn?!"

"Ah nonsense," Roggi joked as he sat her down, ruffling her hair with his big, callused hand. "You're a hero Kai, and I'll greet you as such."

"So you're saying if I were a big burly Nord man you'd pick me up all the same?" she joked back as she punched him lightly in the arm.

"If this old miner's back could handle it, you bet your ass!" his eyes crinkled in the corner as he smiled at her, his affectionate disposition infectious as it made Kaiya smile in return. "What brings you back to Kynesgrove? I thought you'd be settled up in some mansion in Solitude or married to Ulfric Stormcloak by now."

"Ew, Roggi. Just ew" she said with a groan. Mercer, who had been silent and ignoring the conversation up until this point let out a groan of his own at Roggi's words, reminding Kaiya that he was still there.

"Oh yeah, Roggi this is my friend Mer…...curio. Yeah Mercurio. He and I are going to stay here for the night." She touched Mercer's shoulder as she introduced him with his impromptu alias, but Mercer gave no indication he was in the mood to be polite and shake hands.

"Er, okay Kai" Roggi responded after he realized he would get no greeting from the Dragonborn's companion. "Iddra'll get you set up. You'll have a mead with me though, won't ya?"

"Sure Rogs just let us get set up in our room first and we'll join ya!"

Mercer however did not like the plans that were being made for him. "We'll take two rooms, actually." He directed his command at Iddra, but the words caused Kaiya to flinch.

She leaned over to speak into his ear where no one could hear her before whispering "separate rooms?"

"Yes. We'll need our rest." Mercer responded tersely without looking at her. Roggi sensed the tension that was building between the two associates and decided to give them some space to hash out whatever was happening, so he gave a small bow as he moved away back towards the counter where Iddra stood.

"Well I hate to disappoint you, but we only have one available room here tonight." Iddra spoke cautiously, not wanting to upset the clearly high strung man.

"I was afraid of that," Mercer grumbled under his breath. Kaiya called out an upbeat "we'll take it!" before Mercer could say anything further. She wasn't sure what was going on with him, but she figured that when they were alone in a bedroom she may be able to calm his nerves.

Kaiya dropped a stack of 10 septims in Iddra's hand before Mercer had a chance to intervene or grumble about going elsewhere. The innkeeper counted them quickly before stashing them in her own coin purse. "Right this way," she said as she motioned the travellers to follow her. "I'll show you to your room."

In a matter of moments, the two thieves were alone. Mercer quietly removed his pack and sat on the small bed they were to share to organize his belongings. He didn't seem upset that they were now sharing a space, but it seemed as though his thoughts had moved on from their current predicament and were far away from where they were. In fact, Mercer did not seem as though he was still on Nirn.

Kaiya had never been the type to let an awkwardness linger like some miasma in the room. She was always direct, even to the point of being blunt. But right now, all Kaiya wanted to do was to go back out in the inn and have a mead with her old friend Roggi. The last thing she wanted to do was peel back the layers of the past and history that were obviously having an effect on Mercer's mental state. That project could wait until she had some booze.

"I'm going to get some food and have a drink with Roggi" she stated with as little emotion as possible. "You should eat Mercer. It's not healthy for you to just sit in here and sulk."

Silence.

She didn't expect any less. "Welp, looks like I'm in for a long night" she mumbled to herself as she turned her back on the stewing thief to make her way back into the openness of the inn common room.

* * *

"Roggi that is NOT what happened!"

Kaiya shrieked with laughter that shook her whole body. This was what she loved most about her friend Roggi, he had the ability to make her laugh so hard that her sides ached and she felt like she had to hold her midsection together with her arms.

"That is EXACTLY what happened Kai! You were drunk, why should I trust your memory?" he joked as he nudged her shoulder with his elbow.

"Roggi YOU were drunk! We both were drunk! We almost got ourselves killed in some gods forsaken cave looking for a shield we were so drunk!"

"Oh is that so?" he teased, shooting her a side eye over his tankard. "Because I remember you proclaiming to anyone that would listen that you could get the shield, like it was pathetic to even ask! But then the next thing I knew you were RUNNING back out of the cave with no pants on shouting about a troll!"

"There WAS a troll, Roggi! I had to pee so I took my pants off but then there was a TROLL! You run when there's a TROLL!"

"Sure sure drunkie" he said between gulps of his mead. "All I know is that I got my shield back so I'm grateful, but you never did get those pants back."

Their laughter died down to a soft chuckle before Kaiya spoke again. "I wonder if the troll puts 'em on sometimes." Their laughter erupted anew at that, causing Roggi to order another round of mead for the two friends.

The laughter and lighthearted atmosphere the two friends created could not last indefinitely, however.

"So what's the deal with the guy you're with, Kai?" Roggi asked now as they settled back into their familiar routine.

"Oh Mer… him?" Kaiya asked awkwardly, temporarily forgetting the alias she had given Mercer previously.

"Yeah, Merhim." Roggi agreed with a knowing smirk.

"He's a friend. Colleague. He's kinda my boss?" Kaiya had never been in a position in which she had to explain to an outsider what her relationship with Mercer was. It didn't help that she wasn't so sure of it herself.

"It's okay if you guys are together, Kai. I'm not going to be upset. I've got Iddra now." Roggi gestured towards where the innkeeper sat cleaning glasses behind the counter. "We've got a good thing goin' on."

"I know Roggi, I'm happy for you," she said as she reached across the table to pat the back of Roggi's hand. "It's downright cute, you know that? You two should be ashamed!" She flashed a grin at him to show she meant it all as a compliment. "And I'm not sure if we are together Rogs. I'm not afraid to tell you or whatever, I just don't know."

"Hm," Roggi grunted in thought. "Do you want to be?"

"Yeah I do Rogs," she answered honestly.

"He always this exciting?" he asked with no small amount of sarcasm present in his voice.

His joke caught Kaiya off guard, forcing her laugh to come out of her nose. "Well I was going to say he's being a bit of a butt right now, but he's kinda always a butt."

"Well you've always loved butts," Roggi joked.

Kaiya's laugh turned to a whining groan as she realized it was getting late and she probably needed to see what was wrong with Mercer. "Speaking of butts," Kaiya said as she stood from the table "I guess I should go find out what's up this one." She jerked her thumb in the direction of their room to indicate she meant Mercer. "It was good seeing you Rogs."

They said their goodbyes as she turned to go back to the room she was sharing with Mercer, unsure of what she would find. She wasn't all that surprised when she found him lying on his back on the small bed to stare at the ceiling. He seemed to still be thinking. She wanted to shake him, to break him out of his entranced state but she knew that would just start a fight. Part of her felt as though a fight would be better than this, but if this mission was really going to be as dangerous as he was acting like it was going to be, then maybe she should give him his space to prepare.

After stripping off her outer leathers, she slowly crawled into bed next to him wearing nothing but her undershirt and smallclothes. He didn't move. He didn't speak. There they lay, silence hanging over the moment like an executioner's axe. It had its own energy, its own smell. Kaiya felt that the silence was going to become its own being if it wasn't broken soon. She wanted to scream, to cry out, to smack him and have him swing back as long as it meant that SOMETHING would break this palpable silence. It lasted for minutes or hours, Kaiya could no longer tell how time affected it. She knew that everyone else in the inn was asleep. The lights had all been snuffed out. She could hear the heavy breathing and snoring of the other patrons in the inn, but she laid wide awake. And silent.

To her surprise, Mercer spoke first. "Are you asleep?"

"No." Her voice was shaky from disuse.

He did not respond with words. Instead, he rolled over in the dark until he hovered above where Kaiya lay, his face mere inches above hers. He paused for a moment, staring with brows knitted together at her face as if memorizing her features.

When the scrutiny became too much for Kaiya, she whimpered "Mercer?"

She watched a fire take over his eyes, his countenance becoming determined and resolute. He crushed his lips into hers, invading her space and her mouth with more of him. His tongue, his chest, his hands, they explored her in a way they never had. It was possession. It was domination. The sheer need from his actions lit a fire in Kaiya in return, causing her to reach out and grasp ahold of him.

In a frenzy, Mercer yanked off the undershirt and smallclothes that covered her before tearing at his own, snapping off his leathers and tossing them unceremoniously to the floor. As if the distance had pained him, he returned to her mouth with ferocity. He nipped and bit at her lips before exploring her mouth with this tongue. She responded in kind, opening up for him to have more, for him to take what he needed. With one hand balancing himself by her head, his other hand found its way to his shaft to prepare to enter her. He pumped it once, twice, ensuring he was ready before lining himself up and shoving it into her in one motion until he was completely sheathed inside her.

The action was aggressive and while it made her nervous to see him so raw and unbridled, it disturbed her even more that she liked it. A lot. She cried out as he entered her, giving no thought to any of the other patrons that may overhear their coupling. Her world was just this, just the two of them.

He began moving his hips in a quick rhythm, plunging deep with each thrust. She opened up wider in response, understanding what he wanted from her. He needed control. He needed her.

His hips began to snap faster and faster as he pummeled Kaiya's small frame into the mattress, his grunts becoming louder and more volatile. Sweat coursed down the hair on his chest as it slid across the smooth skin of the woman beneath him, the friction between them bringing the moment to a fever pitch.

It was wordless. An understanding. He was afraid. This was his way of staking claim, not of her as an object but almost as if he was announcing to the universe that she was his. As if he feared losing her. Or even worse, her being taken from him. He continued his rapid pace above her as his lips made their way to the skin beneath her ear, his breathing coming heavy and irregular as he moved. She ran her nails down his back and arched into him, giving him more of her. Giving him all.

She turned her head so that she could whisper into his ear as he grunted above her like a man possessed. "I'm yours" was all she said. All she could say. The meaning was clear and it ripped through his body like a shock.

His pace became more frantic as he responded, "Say it again."

"I'm yours."

They were reaching the precipice together. White spots began to cloud her vision as she neared the edge and his erratic pumps showed he wasn't far behind.

"You're mine," he growled in the most possessive voice she had ever heard.

That was it, the push she needed. Her vision exploded into stars as she careened over the edge and her body felt as if it were floating, every nerve ending alive and crackling with energy. He continued to thrust into her with deep, powerful movements until she could feel his body trembling from the nearness of his own climax. With a roar, his body stilled as he came, his head dropping into the space between her neck and shoulders. She drug her fingertips lightly over his back and shoulders as he released, his body releasing the tremors that had laid dormant all afternoon.

As his body began to lose shape and melt into her, he found the energy to speak once more. It was barely louder than a whisper but she heard it as if it were a shout.

"I'm yours."

* * *

Slowly, their heart rates returned to normal as they laid entertwined in the small bed of the inn. Instead of the relaxed state that Mercer usually found after sex, he seemed to still be on edge. He laid behind her, his chest pressed against her back and his arms wrapped tightly around her shoulders and stomach to hold her to him. She didn't mind, in fact she quite liked being held by Mercer that way. Silence began to seep back into the room, but this time it wasn't laced with dread. It seemed calmer, less loaded. Kaiya's fingertips slowly drug back and forth along the arm Mercer had around her chest and they seemed to find solace in this moment.

When Kaiya had assumed that Mercer had fallen asleep behind her, he surprised her by breaking the silence once again. "No matter what happens tomorrow Kaiya, know I meant what I said."

She didn't need to ask him what he meant. She knew. What she didn't know was what he expected to happen the next day. _What was waiting for them in Snow Veil Sanctum?_

Instead of letting her fear bleed into the moment, she kissed the arm that was wrapped around her chest and responded "me too."

At that, Mercer seemed to finally relax. Just as he was about to drift off to sleep however, a chuckle started to rise from his chest, catching Kaiya by surprise.

"What?" Kaiya asked, unsure if she should be worried by this change in his demeanor or not. He just continued to chuckle, the chuckle slowly turning into a laugh as he went.

"What?!" Kaiya asked again, a little more determined this time. He held her where she was, still needing her, but yet his body shook with laughter. When he got to a point where he could finally speak, he answered her question.

"Really Kaiya? _Mercurio_?"


	44. Chapter 44

_18th of First Seed 4E203_

As Kaiya woke the next day, she felt a renewed sense of hope at not only the mission that laid before them, but with her relationship with the thief that shared her bed. The night before had ended better than she could have ever expected. She felt a smile creep across her face as she thought about it, slowly stroking the arm of the sleeping Mercer as her thoughts replayed in her mind.

 _I'm yours._

She felt her heart flutter a bit at the memory and her cheeks ached from smiling. She must have been smiling in her sleep. Kaiya NEVER smiled in her sleep. In her blissful state, she forced herself not to think of his more cryptic words: No matter what happens tomorrow…

How bad could it be?

Kaiya convinced herself that he had just never seen her in action and thus had no idea what she was capable of. That had to be it. Why else would he be so nervous about an encounter with a solitary Dunmer?

As if Mercer felt Kaiya wake next to him, he too began to rise. He sat up without a word and began searching around the room for his leathers that he had thrown the night before. Kaiya stayed laying in bed, a smile still firmly planted on her face.

"Good morning" she crooned, stretching out her sore muscles. She assumed Mercer didn't hear her since he didn't respond, so she stood and approached him before wrapping her arms around him from behind. "I said good morning!"

"I heard you the first time," he grumbled, removing her hands from his midsection as he continued the process of dressing.

Well that wasn't right. Kaiya had been blissed out by the night they had shared. They had overcome such an obstacle, finally telling each other they were committed! Hadn't they? She decided not to push her luck and instead mimicked Mercer's actions of finding her clothes that were strewn across the room.

After they had packed their bags in silence, they made their way out into the common room of the inn. Roggi and Iddra stood behind the counter, both smirking at the two thieves as they approached.

"Well good morning you two" Roggi teased before sipping from his tankard. "Sounds like you had a good night."

Kaiya blushed as she smiled but Mercer ignored their taunts. "What do you have that we could eat on the road?"

"We've got some cooked beef or salmon steak." Iddra responded without pause, but the look on Roggi's face showed concern. Kaiya was embarrassed knowing that he pitied her in that moment.

"We'll take the cooked beef" Mercer answered, tossing a few septims onto the counter in payment. He turned to leave before Kaiya had a chance to say goodbye to her friends, so she hurriedly hugged them before running out after Mercer. She tried to forget the look on Roggi's face as soon as she had laid eyes on it. She hated it when her friends worried about her.

The journey through Eastmarch and into Winterhold began the same as the first half of their journey had: in silence. Kaiya excitedly answered and responded to any question or statement Mercer gave her, but they were all just related to the voyage. Nothing personal. Nothing even business related. He was the same man he had been the day before, and it was consuming Kaiya. She wasn't worried before, but she sure was now.

"So what's the plan boss?" she finally asked as they passed by a giant encampment by the road. "Surely we can at least discuss the details of what you have planned?"

"We get in, we find Karliah. That's it. What else is there to know?"

"So just get in, kill the bitch and get out? Is that what you're saying?"

"Kill her?" Mercer stopped walking to face her, causing Kaiya to do the same. "Who said anything about killing her?"

"Well, I assumed that's what we were doing going after her and all. After everything she's done to the guild, I thought it was a logical plan?"

"No!" Mercer bellowed, approaching her so as not to cause a scene and attract the attention of the nearby giants. "I just want to talk to her. All we need to do is get her to listen."

"And how are we to do that?" Kaiya asked, her pitch going higher with confusion. "This is why we need to discuss the plan, Mercer."

"Keep walking" he instructed as he grabbed her elbow, leading her back to a brisk pace down the road. "We cannot afford to dally."

They walked that way until they were out of earshot of the giants before Mercer began speaking again. "I thought we'd get to her and then with the two of us, one of us could subdue her. I'd like that person to be you so that I can do the talking."

"Did you expect me just to know that?" she asked as she kicked a rock off the road. Mercer was usually so neurotic about planning, this was unlike him. He must really be frazzled.

"I thought I had told you that" he said quietly, almost where Kaiya couldn't hear him.

"See you've been so caught up in your own damn head you don't know what you've shared and what you haven't! If this is such an important job, don't you think you should have shared some of your thoughts with me?" Kaiya turned to look at Mercer as they walked, but his determined stride kept him facing forward.

"Enough!" he bellowed, his head snapping towards her to pin her with his gaze. "I tell you what you need to know. You now know everything you need to know. We get in, make our way through the traps I'm sure she's set and then find her. You subdue her in whatever way you wish, but keep her conscious and alive, Kaiya. I'll do the talking, okay?"

"Fine." She answered tersely, kicking another rock as she walked.

They made the rest of the way to the ruin in complete silence, without even the customary "quiet, there's a bear on your right" or "I'll take the wolf on the left" directions. By the time they made it to the ruin, Kaiya thought she might explode with tension. This was not a good way for two people to enter a dangerous ruin, much less a ruin with a vengeful Dunmer hiding in wait to ambush them.

"Before we go inside this ruin Mercer," her voice was jarring after such absolute silence, "I need to make sure we're ready. I've fought through these tombs before and they are no joke. I need to know you have my back like I've got yours. I need to know that we're okay because right now I don't have a lot of confidence in our teamwork."

He glared at her with a look of contempt she hadn't seen from him since she first joined the guild. "When we enter this ruin, you will go first and I will have your back. Do not run into any traps Kaiya and I will make sure that you make it out of here alive. We've fought together before in training, this is no different. Just some old bones wielding axes. Don't lose your head."

Kaiya stifled a retort as it rose in her throat, taking deep breaths through her nose to control her nerves. "Okay then, let's go."

"Wait" he spoke in a rough whisper. "There's her horse. We should take care of it."

* * *

"Are you done yet?" he asked as he wiped the blood off his Dwarven sword onto his trousers. Kaiya stood hunched over, holding onto the nearby tree for support, the cooked beef from the Braidwood Inn a putrid mess on the ground by her feet.

"You didn't have to kill the horse Mercer, what in the Oblivion!?" she spit as she spoke, relieving her stomach of its last remaining contents.

"I didn't want to risk it. Now clean yourself up. She'll be able to smell you from across the ruin at this rate." He offered his canteen to her although his eyes remained on the barrow before them.

Kaiya glared at him through her lashes but he never noticed. She accepted the canteen and rinsed the horrid taste out of her mouth. "Here" she grunted as she handed it back, popping a frost merriam leaf from her pockets in her mouth to hopefully relieve some of the aftertaste.

"Let's get going."

* * *

"It won't open Mercer, I'm not joking." Kaiya tried once again with her lockpicks to open the entrance to the barrow to no avail. "It's like I don't have a place to put my lockpick."

"Let me see" he stepped up and brushed her aside, turning so that she didn't have a clear view of his attempt at the door. "It just takes some skill, Footpad" he chastised with a bit of a smirk as the door popped open for him with ease.

"How in Oblivion did you do that?!" she asked, inspecting the door to see if there was a trick she had missed. "You have to show me that later!"

"I'm the godsdamned Guildmaster Kaiya," he joked openly now, a stark contrast to his demeanor just minutes before. Getting a bit of praise must have done wonders for his mood. "If I can't open a door then I shouldn't be in charge."

"Whatever you say Guildmaster" she laughed as she stepped inside the barrow past him. As soon as they crossed the threshold into the tomb, the mood shifted. No longer were they joking or even angry at each other, but instead both took on a calm focus, a determination to see this job through.

They made their way down the narrow steps into the barrow itself in crouched positions, both taking care to make as little noise as possible. The first room they entered had a chest surrounded by two standing sarcophagi.

"Well this is a trap if I've ever seen one" Kaiya whispered over her shoulder to Mercer. He responded with unsheathing his long Dwarven sword and dagger, the sound sending a thrum of adrenaline through her. She drew her sword as well, leaving her left hand open to cast spells. The feeling before the first fight was almost a high of its own, the excitement sparking in the air. She reached for the chest, the obvious trigger for the trap and took a deep breath to steady herself before yanking it open.

In unison, the coverings over the two sarcophagi fell open, clanging to the stone floor. The unmistakable sound of a draugr's snarl followed on Kaiya's right.

"This one's mine, you take the other" she directed her Guildmaster, no panic at all present in her voice. Mercer responded wordlessly, slashing out at the draugr she assigned him.

She formed the spell for Ebonyflesh in her left hand and cast it, the air snapping around her as the mage armor fell into place. Before the spell was completely finished, she had already begun to prepare the spell for Thunderbolt. The smell of shock magic was an old friend to her, the metallic, copper twinge that saturated the air around her hand as she held lightning itself in her palm.

The draugr stepped out of the sarcophagi and unsheathed his old, rusted sword from its moth eaten scabbard as he rushed towards her. She cast her prepared Thunderbolt spell in response, thrusting the energy bolt directly at the heart of the ancient corpse and causing him to stagger backward. Kaiya took the opportunity to swing hard with her dragonbone sword in an overhand arc, slamming the blade directly into the meat where the draugr's neck met his shoulder.

Slicing downwards with her sword to open his chest, Kaiya cast another Thunderbolt with her free hand before the draugr had a chance to recuperate. Using the momentum she gained from casting the spell, she spun on her heels, swinging the sword with her in a giant arc before making contact with the stumbling draugr once again. This blow was the final strike, causing the mummified remains to crumble with a croak before her. She spun around in time to see Mercer finishing his fight with his own draugr, a yell ripping from his chest as he spun in a flurry of weapons and struck the animated corpse down. Two down, who knew how many more to go.

As they panted lightly to catch their breath after the small victory, Kaiya walkedover to look into the open chest while Mercer looted the fallen corpses. "So how are we splitting up the spoils on this mission, Merc?" she asked as she eyed the contents. Inside were a few septims, some random weaponry of not much monetary value and a few potions. The loot was nothing exciting, but they should probably work out how the split would go anyway.

"How did you usually split the spoils when you would dungeon dive with your little boyfriends?" Mercer asked with a smirk as he pulled out a few old coins from the draugr's scraps of remaining armor.

"Boyfriends?" Kaiya asked with a laugh. "You mean the men that followed me into the bowels of Oblivion to face their own death because of their loyalty to me? Those boyfriends?"

"Whatever," he shrugged. "Did you split the spoils with them?"

"Sure," she agreed cautiously, feeling a trap coming from Mercer's tone. "I mean maybe not down the middle since I was taking the majority of the risks but it always worked out to their benefit."

"Mmhmm," Mercer hummed as he moved onto the second draugr corpse. "Those men who 'followed you into the bowels of Oblivion' weren't worthy of a half share?"

"I don't understand why this matters right now Mercer," Kaiya argued back defensively. "That was a lifetime ago when I was the hero of Skyrim. Now I'm a thief and I want my share."

"I bet you do" Mercer laughed as he poked at the draugr with his sword, moving the armor around without having to touch it. "Any reason why this draugr is smoking?"

"I zapped him with shock spells because I'm a badass spellsword, that's why." Kaiya cocked her hip to the side as she gloated. "Now speaking of my awesome fighting skills I'd like a fair share."

"How about this?" Mercer asked as his attention moved from the draugr to his companion, "How about we just haul what we can and then split it up afterwards?"

Kaiya eyed him suspiciously as she thought over his offer. "Sure..." she drawled out with narrowed eyes "but I'll be watching you Frey. Don't think I won't notice if you try to keep the good stuff for yourself."

"I thought we trusted each other," he said with a laugh as he jabbed his sword back into its sheath. "Was I wrong?"

She rolled her eyes at him in response. "Whatever 'Master Thief'" she taunted "let's keep going, shall we?"

* * *

They continued to make their way through the ruin in much the same fashion, teaming up against the walking dead, fighting side by side or back to back. Each small victory made them a more solid team and they could feel the mood between them improve with each battle. Before long they were joking in whispers, teasing each other just like the usually did. At one point after wiping out eight draugr deathlords, the two separated to go through all the loot.

They plundered through the chests, burial urns and corpses and their packs became heavier and heavier. As Kaiya was leaning over to inspect one of the female deathlords, she felt a nudge to her shoulder.

"Here," Mercer said as he unceremoniously handed her a silver amulet. "Don't say I never gave you anything."

At first she was taken aback with the gesture. It was almost romantic in his own way and she was surprised to see this come from him in the middle of a Nordic tomb of all places. She could feel the enchantment running over the silver but she could not tell what ability it held.

"What is this?" she asked, inspecting the silver closely to try to get a sense of the power it offered. "What is this enchanted with?"

"You tell me, Archmage" Mercer teased as he continued on with his pilfering.

She pulled down her hood so that she could slip the necklace over her head thinking that she may be able to get a sense of the enchantment if she were to wear it. Immediately, she felt her lungs tighten in response. She knew what this was.

"You ass," she joked as she took the amulet off and stuffed it in a pocket on her guild leathers. "That amulet is practically useless."

"Hey you're the one that tends to get in over your head," he said as he laughed. "You'll need it before I do."

"Har har" she mocked before letting the conversation drop. Even if it was a worthless enchantment and the amulet would not fetch much coin, she still felt a flutter in her stomach at the thought of Mercer giving it to her. She wasn't one to turn down a gift. She may never get another one.

As Mercer continued to search the fallen bodies, Kaiya decided to head up the nearby set of stairs that had been patrolled by one of the slain deathlords before. When she reached the top of the stairs she came to a quick stop, immediately identifying another trap.

"Mercer!" she called out to him since she may need some help if they were going to make it out with that model ship that sat on a pedestal in the middle of the room. It was the lanterns hanging overhead that gave her pause, considering the entire floor of the room was covered in an oil slick.

"What? What is it?" he responded as he jogged up the stairs after her before laying eyes on the trap for himself. "Oh shadows preserve me, are you really thinking of setting off this trap for that stupid boat?"

"I think Delvin would love it," Kaiya responded in awe, her eyes not wavering from the pedestal in which the ship sat. "Plus, we can do this come on!" she nudged him with her elbow at that, bringing out a grunt of displeasure.

"And how do you intend to get it unscathed?" Mercer asked as he crossed his arms, brows raised in inquisition. "You can't just light up the floor around it and think it'll still be worth something."

"No, I was thinking I'd just grab it and run away really fast." Her eyes told Mercer she had made up her mind; there was no talking her out of it.

"All right, it's your face" he relented as he started back down the stairs "and I'm not going to stick around to watch you ruin it."

"Are you saying you like my face?" Kaiya called out to his back as he walked away, her perpetual need to have the last word showing even now. Mercer just grunted in response, not wanting to say anything incriminating in either direction. _Smart man_.

Kaiya walked into the room, her feet cautiously stepping as lightly as possible through the oil. She decided she'd just jump off the balcony back to the level below after she grabbed the ship, so she angled herself towards the opening. With the ship firmly in the grip of her closest hand, she Shouted.

WULD NAH KEST!

She sprung off the balcony in a blur and landed on the level below with the model ship in hand. She even had time to shoot a grin at the bewildered Mercer before the trap sprung into action above them. Maybe she had been right before. Maybe he was nervous just because he didn't know what she was capable of. He schooled his expression back to his perpetual scowl before she could say anything about the surprise clear in his arched brows.

"Well great I'm glad you got your little toy" he mumbled flatly as he motioned for her to walk ahead of him. "Now if you're done can we continue?"

She just grinned at him in response as she stored the model ship in her pack. "You can say whatever you like Mercer, you were worried about my face." Before he had a chance to retort, she spun on her heels and headed towards what she assumed to be the way forward. Mercer followed without a word.

They continued on through the catacombs of the sanctum, fighting off draugr as they went. Kaiya laughed at Mercer's taunts, the provocations he shouted at the stumbling deathlords even though he constantly berated her on what he saw as her inability to stay quiet. She shrugged off all his gripes about her "being noisy for someone who claims to be a thief" with a lopsided grin. Pestering as he was, she adored their dynamic of tossing quips and barbs at each other. He was able to keep up with her and very few others could say the same.

In a fight with a particularly brutal deathlord, she found herself laughing at his jabs as she fought. The deathlord shouted them both into the wall, their bodies bruised and battered from the force. As they clawed their way back to their feet, Mercer yelled out "you've just written your own epitaph!" before launching himself at the embattled corpse. Kaiya joined him with her sword and spells, but she could not stop the laughter that ripped out of her as she swung with as much strength as she could muster. The chuckle in her throat stopped a Shout before it could even form but before long, the two thieves worked the deathlord down until he took a knee before them in surrender. Mercer dealt the final blow and scoffed "that wasn't a fight, it was an execution" as he sheathed his sword.

Kaiya couldn't hold it in any longer. She fell to the ground, holding her stomach as her body vibrated and shook. Tears streamed out of her eyes as she tried to keep her laughter contained, as she tried to be quiet through her fit.

"What in the Oblivion are you doing? You're laughing? In the middle of this crypt?" He ran his hand through his hair before grabbing at her shoulder to get her to stand. "Get up Kaiya they're going to hear us!"

"Hear us, because of ME?" she squeaked out as he forced her to her feet. "Mercer, really!? You're the one shouting 'your blood will adorn my blade' with all your might, give me a break!"

Mercer then did something she never expected. He laughed too. It started as a chuckle and then started coming out with a force that made his lungs hurt. "They can't understand me, can they?" he asked as he doubled over, his hands on his knees.

"No!" she cried out as she wiped the tears that had started spilling over the bottom of her eyelids. "That's what's so great about it! Because you MEAN it!"

They laughed together for a few minutes longer, the guffaws slowly turning into exhausted chuckles. Mercer stood to his full height and looked over at Kaiya with an expression that went straight through her. He looked bashful, as if he had been caught doing something embarrassing. Just the sight of that look on his face hit her right in her heart, endearing him to her more than ever. She grabbed at him and pulled him into a hug as their laughter ended and he hugged her back in kind. She took the opportunity to take in his scent - sweat and leather, water and stone.

"What are you thinking about?" Mercer asked her as she squeezed him tighter. He knew something was going on in that head of hers.

She pulled back to look him in the eyes. "Do you ever have that feeling when something particularly horrible or funny or endearing happens where you know immediately that it's going to be one of those memories you never forget? Like years from now you'll still be able to remember the sights, smells, thoughts you had, all of it... that happened in that particular moment?"

"Uh, yeah probably?" Mercer answered as if it were a question although he knew where she was headed with this train of thought.

"Yeah that was one of those moments for me, so thank you." She gave him the sweetest smile she ever had and she could see it register in him as he looked at her.

"Well you're welcome" he mumbled as he ran his hand through his hair, clearly uncomfortable from the attention. "We should get going."

A peaceful quiet fell over them as they straightened out their leathers and got their equipment back together, a familiar pause that neither of them felt the need to fill.

Until Kaiya heard it. The sound of distant chanting, although she knew it was calling to her from somewhere nearby. "Sweet Sithis there's a word wall in here!" Kaiya exclaimed as she clamored forward in the direction she heard the noise.

"A what?" Mercer asked as he scrambled to keep up with her. She jogged towards the back of the room before she laid eyes on it. A semi circle of white stone, carved with an ancient language that called out to her like a chorus. The chanting grew louder as she approached. And louder. She could see nor hear anything else but the wall itself, three draconic symbols beginning to stand out to her amongst the rest.

"Viik," she whispered to herself as the understanding began to flow into her. This experience never lost its potency for Kaiya; each time felt just like the first. Her hair whipped around as the chanting grew to a crescendo, the very meaning of the word flowing through her. "Defeat" she spoke in reverence, giving thanks to the word for revealing itself for her.

And then it was over.

"What. The Oblivion. Was that?" Mercer asked cautiously, his voice as even as possible considering the look on his face was that of disbelief.

"That was a word wall" she responded with a shrug before moving away from the stone towards her companion. "Shouts."

"You... you just looked like you were on another plane for a second," he said, his face pale with the memory. "Did you just absorb a shout from that wall?"

"Uh, not exactly..." she trailed off as she thought of a way to explain it. "But we'll go with that for now until we have time later. For now, yes, I absorbed a shout from the wall."

His mouth hung open as she passed by him with a wink, confident that he had completely underestimated her before this trip. It made so much sense now why he was so nervous before. He had NO idea what she was truly capable of.

This was going to be easy.


	45. Chapter 45

_18th of First Seed 4E203_

"Careful!" Mercer called out as he hastily grabbed Kaiya's waist. "Do you not see all the bear traps?"

Kaiya looked down, her eyes scanning the short hallway they found themselves in. It was very familiar to her. They were in a hall of stories. Mercer wasn't wrong about the bear traps however, the soft light from the torches along the walls caught the metal all across the floor and made it shine.

"We've got a bigger problem than these bear traps Merc," she exclaimed as she leaned back into him, his arm still firmly strapped around her waist. "We don't have a claw for that door up there."

He released her and nudged her forward with a hand at the small of her back. They began tiptoeing through the set traps before them, careful not to set any off to alert Karliah to their presence. Or to snap through one of their legs.

"Ah, it's one of the infamous Nordic puzzle doors," Mercer answered as they approached the door. "How quaint."

"Quaint?" Kaiya whispered through clenched teeth. "We can't get in if we don't have the claw."

Mercer arched an eyebrow as he shot her a smug look before responding. "You're right. Without the matching claw, these doors are normally impossible to open. And since I'm certain Karliah already did away with it, we're on our own."

"So we're just giving up?" Kaiya asked with exasperation. "But we're almost there!"

"I didn't say that," he said with a smirk. "Fortunately, these doors have a weakness if you know how to exploit it. Quite simple, really."

Mercer moved where once again his back was to Kaiya so she did not have a clear view of what he was doing at the door. Abruptly however, he stopped moving and stood completely still, his eyes staring at his hands as if he were in deep thought.

He stood that way for several heartbeats. Kaiya was so nervous she dared not breathe and break his concentration. Suddenly, he pushed himself away from the door and came hurriedly towards her, three long strides making up the distance between them. With a gentleness contrary to the intensity coming off of him in waves, he held her face in his hands, tilting her head up to look into her eyes. His gaze roamed her face, once again giving Kaiya the impression that he was memorizing her features as if this was the last time he'd ever see her. It shot fear through her heart like a spear, her stomach clenching with anxiety at the meaning behind his actions.

"Mercer, I…" she began but before she could utter another word, his lips were on hers. The kiss was wild, passionate and so full of need it made tears form in Kaiya's eyes. He kissed her hungrily though his hands never moved from her face. Kaiya immediately understood what this was. This was goodbye.

She kissed him back just as fervently at her realization, her hands making their way up into his hair and holding on as if she could keep him there with her strength alone. She breathed in his scent, committing as much to memory as she was capable. Water on stone. The feeling of his hair slipping through her fingers. The scar on his lips and how it felt against her tongue. His barely audible grunts that she could feel reverberate through his chest. If this was to be their end, then she would not let a detail slip away.

As quickly as it began, Mercer pulled back and ended their kiss. The look in his eyes was crazed, the green flashing and glittering in the soft torchlight of the hall. She knew her eyes were glistening with tears but she didn't shy away. She let him see them. Let him see that she understood.

With a shaky voice he finally spoke, bringing their current predicament back into the forefront of their thoughts. "Karliah's close. I'm certain of it. Now let's get moving."

With that, he broke away from her and made his way back to the puzzle door, picking up right where he had left off. Kaiya felt the absence in his presence as if it were part of her that was missing. She took a deep breath through her nose to steady her nerves and released it out her mouth. Steady yourself, Kaiya. One more breath.

"I'm ready."

With a loud pop, the puzzle door gave under Mercer's ministrations and began to open. He looked over and let his eyes lock onto hers one more time before she stepped in front of him to lead the way into the room. Slowly the door lowered. Once her eyes could see into the room, she began scanning, looking for any sign of where Karliah was. She readied herself for the Aura Whisper shout, but it was too late.

With a sickening crack, Kaiya felt the arrow penetrate her chest right above her heart. The room spun and went out of focus. She felt no pain. She reached out for Mercer who looked on in horror as she slowly crumbled to the floor. She tried to focus. Must get to Karliah.

Then there was darkness.

* * *

It started in the center. A soft light, directing her attention to where she should look. The light grew as her vision began to slowly come back into focus. She could see Mercer standing at attention with his blades drawn. Then she made out the form that she assumed was Karliah. She felt hatred bubble up in her stomach, a raw, acidic burn that slowly made its way through her veins. She wanted to scream, to Shout, to charge at the Dunmer with her blades drawn and slice into her pretty neck. But she could do none of those things, for she was still on the ground. The edges of her vision remained dark, whether from the effects of her wound or from the actual darkness of the tomb, she could not say.

Then, she heard them speak.

"Did you honestly bring me here to put an arrow through my heart?"

 _It was Mercer. Kaiya could hear the shock in his voice. She wanted to yell at him to kill the Dunmer, to give up on the plan to talk! But she could not speak._

"Give me a reason not to try."

 _Bitch I know you didn't. Her anger roared._

"You're a clever girl, Karliah. You should know when you've no options but to listen, but you insist on violence."

 _Just kill her already Mercer! She's not going to listen!_

"I have not killed you yet, have I?"

 _Kaiya felt the fire of her anger turn to ice at Karliah's threat. No. She couldn't take Mercer. Kaiya tried to get up, tried to move enough to do SOMETHING to help him, but she laid motionless and paralyzed on the cold, stone floor._

"No, just shot my companion here and tried to bankrupt the guild. I must admit, buying Goldenglow Estate and funding Honningbrew Meadery was inspired."

 _His companion? Was he complimenting her? Kaiya felt the anger start to bubble up in her veins once again but she tried to tamp it down. Mercer was crafty, maybe he was just buying time?_

"'To ensure an enemy's defeat, you must first undermine his allies.' It was the first lesson Gallus taught us."

 _How dare she mention Gallus? The fiery anger returned with a vengeance._

"You always were a quick study."

 _Another compliment?_

"Not quick enough, otherwise Gallus would still be alive."

 _What?! Kaiya felt her blood run cold._

"You were a quick study, but you've always been a terrible listener."

 _What was happening?_

"I told you I would never listen to your lies! Did you forget the Oath we took as Nightingales? Did you expect Gallus to simply ignore your methods?"

 _What was she talking about? What are Nightingales? Why has Mercer not mentioned any of this?_

"I told you I wasn't the one behind it all, Karliah."

 _What!? It was Karliah, wasn't it?_

"And yet you were the one behind the blade that found Gallus's heart."

 _No. The blood in Kaiya's heart froze over. She felt as though her heart would not continue beating._

"Karliah, if you would just listen! You were in danger! You still are in danger!"

 _What was he saying?_

"Yes, from you. I'm no fool, Mercer. Crossing blades with you would be a death sentence. But I can promise you the next time we meet, it will be your undoing."

 _She feared him. Was Mercer the villain all along?_

"Karliah you're not in danger from me! You-"

But it was too late. Karliah had vanished. Kaiya was still paralyzed although her mind was awake. She wished it wasn't. She found herself hoping and praying that the poison would take over her body, take over her veins. Make it where she couldn't think anymore. Where she couldn't process the information she just heard. But poison was never so kind. She felt the warmth of a single tear streak down her cheek, followed closely by another. There was no sound, no whimpering, no evidence of the sorrow inside her except for the two pale streaks across otherwise dirty cheeks.


	46. Chapter 46

_18th of First Seed 4E203_

 _Mercer killed Gallus._

The thought repeated itself in Kaiya's head over and over, as if she would forget. As if she could forget. She remained paralyzed on the stone floor but fate cursed her with lying so she couldn't look away. She could still see him as he stared at the place he had last seen Karliah.

Suddenly, he turned towards her where she lay on the ground. His dagger still unsheathed, he took determined strides in her direction. Was he going to kill her now? She felt like she didn't know him anymore. The Mercer she knew and trusted was gone and whoever this was may very well be capable of slitting her throat for learning his secret.

But she could see his eyes. Those were the same eyes, the emerald green in a sea of shadows, that she knew so well. They look tortured, bloodshot and weary. They seemed sunken further into his face than normal, the sharp edges of his cheekbones jutting out prominently. It was obvious he hadn't slept well in weeks. Is this what he had feared? Is this the moment he knew would come?

He knelt down beside her with his dagger still in his hand and although Kaiya could still see the conflict in his eyes, fear pulsed through her. This could be it. No, he couldn't. He wouldn't hurt her. Her Mercer was still in there.

Wasn't he?

He brought his dagger to her face and if she had been capable of flinching, she would have. Just as she thought he was going to take the blade to her skin he stopped moving, the flat edge of the dagger hovering just over her mouth. He stared at it intensely as if trying to wield it with his mind as Kaiya's light breaths fogged the blade.

Then his eyes lightened. His shoulders sagged with relief. And he spoke.

"You're alive" he said in an exhale. "You're breathing."

His dagger still in hand, he leaned into his palms as they rested on the floor, taking deep breaths in as he sat motionless on all fours. Deep breath in, deep exhale.

Then his head lifted so his gaze could meet hers again. She tried to show all she felt through her own eyes, tried to communicate her pain to him. How could he? How could he do that? How could he not tell her? There was so much she wanted to scream at him but all she could do was hope that her eyes conveyed the way she felt. His eyes showed heartbreak, nothing more, nothing less. She could see it as if it were a physical wound. His heart was broken.

"I'm sorry you had to find out this way" he spoke, startling Kaiya with his sudden outburst. "I'm sorry for a lot of things." His head fell to hang between his shoulders in defeat. Kaiya found herself thankful that she was paralyzed in that moment because her instinct was to reach out, to comfort him. But this was his fault. Her heart was broken too.

He covered his mouth with his large hand as he looked down her body, rubbing across his chin as if it was a nervous habit. His eyes focused in on her chest, to what she had to assume was where Karliah's arrow pierced her skin. With a groan, he sat back on his haunches and looked up at the ceiling before locking his eyes on hers again.

"I'm sorry."

His movements were swift then. The dagger he held in one hand came down to her chest, pain erupting as her vision clouded over. The realization struck her as suddenly as the dagger had. He stabbed her. This man, the one she had given her heart to, had just stabbed her in the heart she had given him. Tears streamed down her cheeks, the pain too overwhelming to stay hidden. The last thing she saw was his eyes trained on hers once more as a broken, choked "I'm so sorry, Kaiya" crawled out of his throat. Then, as if in blessing, her world went black.

* * *

 _19th of First Seed 4E203_

Kaiya's confusion was overwhelming. She could feel the breeze move through her hair and her body against cold ground under her, signaling that she was no longer laying on the floor of the tomb. She tried to wiggle her fingers. They moved. She tried to lift her arm. It responded. She finally could move again. She slowly sat up, her muscles screaming in protest after being dormant for so long. Her head spun with the movement and disorientation, her vision struggling to process the increase in information filtering through her eyes. Her hand shot up to shield her from the onslaught of brightness coming from all around her. Sunlight bounced off the snow covered ground, piercing her vision. Still, she struggled to stand.

"Easy, easy."

The disembodied voice rang through Kaiya's ears, reverberating throughout her body as she processed what was happening. Memories from inside the tomb began to flood her, tears welling in her eyes in an effort to compensate for the overwhelming emotion. _Mercer. Karliah. Gallus. Betrayal._ She recognized at once that the voice she heard could only be that of Karliah, even though she had only briefly heard her speak before. Her vision focused in on the Dunmer before her, wearing the familiar garb of a member of the Thieves Guild. Her first impulse was to fight though her limbs were unwilling to cooperate. She clumsily grabbed for her sword but the motion caused her to lose her balance, stumbling back to regain her fragile footing. Karliah shot out a hand in response to steady her, prompting Kaiya to jerk away as if on instinct.

"You shot me!" Kaiya proclaimed with a cracked voice as she struggled to get away from the thief before her.

"Yes, but I didn't kill you. My arrow was tipped with a unique paralytic poison. Had I intended to kill you, we wouldn't be having this conversation." Kaiya couldn't place her accent, although she had to admit she found the Dunmer's voice soothing. She forced her mind to comprehend the changes to her expectations that were occurring before her. Karliah seemed to have no intention of causing her harm.

"Why?" she asked breathlessly, as though she barely had the energy to form words.

"Why what? Why did I save you?"

Kaiya nodded weakly in response.

"My original intention was to use that arrow on Mercer, but I never had a clear shot. I made a split second decision to get you out of the way." She took a step back as she spoke, leaving Kaiya to stand on her own.

"Why should I believe you?" Kaiya narrowed her eyes at the Dunmer, still unable to believe that this woman was not her enemy.

"Without the antidote I administered, you'd be as still as a statue. I treated your wounds and didn't leave you defenseless. The poison on that arrow took me a year to perfect. I only had enough for a single shot and yet I used it on you."

 _Your wounds._ She said it as if they were so commonplace, like she had fallen and scraped her knee. Not like she had just been pierced twice, one by a man she trusted.

"Yeah, but you didn't have to shoot anyone Karliah. It doesn't really bode well for our budding friendship for you to tell me that you treated the wounds you caused." Kaiya felt a headache coming on as a result of her pounding thoughts. She pressed the palm of her hand to her forehead to try to relieve some of the pressure she felt.

"I didn't intend to kill anyone. All I had hoped was to capture Mercer alive." Karliah's voice escalated slightly as she spoke, standing firm in her convictions that what she did was the right thing.

"Why?" Kaiya was afraid she knew the answer, but she needed Karliah to speak it out loud.

"Mercer must be brought to the Guild to answer for what he's done. He needs to pay for Gallus's murder." Karliah's hands balled into fists at her sides as she spoke, betraying her calm demeanor and revealing how angry she really was. This was an anger that had built over decades. It was a struggle for Kaiya to wrap her head around the enormity of it all.

"I was afraid you were going to say that," Kaiya responded with a shrug. The anger was different for her than it was for Karliah, although she didn't have a hope that she would understand. "How were you intending to prove it?"

Karliah's brows rose in surprise at Kaiya's response. "Are you saying you don't believe me? You heard what he said back there!" She jerked her arm in the direction of the ruin to clarify what she meant, as if there could have been anywhere else.

"I didn't say that," Kaiya groaned out, pressing her fingertips to her aching forehead for some relief. "Mercer made it very clear you were telling the truth. But for twenty-five years the guild has believed that you were the one that killed Gallus. They weren't here to see that conversation for themselves. I'm asking how you planned on proving Mercer's guilt to them. His friends and allies." The conversation was beginning to sap her already depleted energy supply, so Kaiya leaned against a nearby boulder for support. She crossed her arms over her chest and crossed her ankles as she reclined, giving off the impression that she was calm and collected, although she was anything but.

"Aren't you also their friend and ally?" Karliah asked hopefully.

"Oh so now I see why you made sure to save me from that tomb, so I could cover for you." Kaiya scoffed as she shook her head. "How about we have that be our Plan B?"

"Well there is one other option. My purpose in using Snow Veil Sanctum to ambush Mercer wasn't simply for irony's sake. Before both of you arrived, I recovered a journal from Gallus's remains. I suspect the information we need is written inside."

"Let me see that!" Kaiya cried out as she shot off the rock towards Karliah. "What's it say?" Although she hated herself for it, a small part of her hoped that she would find redemption for Mercer in that journal. Maybe there was more to this story than Karliah thought, although she knew that nothing in that journal could explain why Mercer had decided to stab her.

"I wish I knew." Karliah admitted as she handed the journal over to Kaiya. "The journal is written in some sort of language I've never seen before."

The swell of hope that had formed in Kaiya's heart at the discovery of the journal deflated. So much for Mercer's redemption. Unless...

"Maybe the journal could be translated!" She spoke excitedly now, thumbing through the pages of the text as if she could read it herself. "This looks oddly familiar. I'm sure someone in Skyrim could tell us what this says."

"Enthir!" Karliah proclaimed, matching the excitement demonstrated by Kaiya before. "Gallus's friend at the College of Winterhold!"

"Enthir?" Kaiya laughed and rolled her eyes. "I swear that guy has more layers than a damn Dwarven ruin."

"You know him?" Karliah asked in disbelief.

"Sure, I know Enthir" she scoffed as she resumed her leaning position on the nearby rock. "I am his Archmage after all."

Karliah shook her head quickly as if Kaiya's statement were rattling around inside. "He was the only outsider Gallus trusted with the knowledge of his Nightingale identity."

"There's that word again. What in the Oblivion is a Nightingale?"

"There were three of us. Myself, Gallus and Mercer. We were an anonymous splinter of the Thieves Guild in Riften. Perhaps I'll tell you more about it later. Right now, you need to head for Winterhold with the journal and get the translation from Enthir."

"Wait, hold on" Kaiya exclaimed as she held her palms up to the enthusiastic Dunmer. "First, you shot me. Then I found out that Mercer..." her voice caught in her throat and prevented her of speaking of what she had learned in the tombs. "Well I found out some pretty intense stuff about Mercer. Then I found out that there was some secret club that Mercer was a part of with you and Gallus. Now you want me to carry out the rest of your mission for you? I know my boss just bailed on me, but that job isn't so easily taken by another." Kaiya relaxed back into the rock she leaned against, hoping her insouciant nature would bely the confidence that she wasn't feeling at the moment. "I respect your temerity though. Nice."

Kaiya watched as frustration spread across Karliah's face. She had apparently assumed they were partners in this after all the incriminating information about Mercer was just revealed, but she obviously didn't know Kaiya very well.

With a raised voice, she responded. "I have preparations to make and Gallus's remains to lay to rest!" she cried, storming across the distance between them in a fury. "I promise to join you there as soon as I can but I need your help!"

"And I have a broken heart I have to put back together!" Kaiya shrieked, surprising both Karliah and herself with the outburst of emotion. "I don't mean to be selfish but this is your mission Karliah! Yours! I'm only roped into it now because Mercer insisted on bringing me with the hopes that I could subdue you enough that he could talk to you! If it wasn't for that I wouldn't be here and I'd be at home..." Kaiya let her sentence trail off as she was assaulted by the thoughts that came flying at her with the word home.

 _What home? Riften? Why was that home except for the fact that Mercer was also there?_ At the realization that no matter what house she chose to call home, Mercer would no longer be there with her, Kaiya broke anew. Her anger dissipated as quickly as it had come on and she sunk back into the rock behind her in defeat. Her voice now came out softly, barely audible over the wind. "I'd be at home, waiting for Mercer."

"Oh," Karliah gasped, her hand coming up to cover her open mouth. "You loved him?"

"Ha!" Kaiya jumped off the rock and began pacing the campsite, her hand once again pressing into her forehead to stop the pounding headache that encroached on her thoughts. "I like how you said that like it was in the past. Like all of this changes it instantly. Like somehow it's that easy to turn off."

"I'm sorry, I-"

"No you know what?" Kaiya spoke in a higher pitch than normal, bordering on manic. "I'll take the damn journal to Enthir, okay?" She held the journal up for Karliah to see the proof that she had it in her hands. "Anything's better than this conversation right now."

"Here, take these!" Karliah said eagerly as she held out a few potions to Kaiya as an offering. "They may help you."

But Kaiya was already storming off in the direction of the College of Winterhold, her back to Karliah. "I don't need your damn potions" she yelled out but she did not turn back. Karliah watched as Kaiya kicked a snowbank as she walked, getting smaller and smaller as the distance between them grew.


	47. Chapter 47

_19th of First Seed 4E203_

Kaiya had spent a considerable amount of her life alone. She had escaped from the Forsworn on her own. She had traversed through most of Skyrim as she searched for answers in her quest to battle Alduin with no companion. She had ventured to Sovngarde with no one but herself to count on. The sound that accompanied the night with no other human or elf around for miles was an old friend to her. She knew the quiet of midnight, the solitude of waking in a tent with no one by her side. Even so, Kaiya had never felt as alone as she felt now.

There was a part of her that was thankful for the solitude. Keeping up the pretense that everything was fine had taken more effort than she would have ever imagined. Now that she had no one to answer to, she let the tears stream down her face freely, choked sobs breaking free from her chest.

She had been betrayed by the one person she had grown to trust above all others. The one person who knew everything from her past. The one person who knew how deep betrayal cut her and had seen the evidence of her scars. The one person she had asked not to betray her.

Memories from her past with Mercer began to blur through her mind as if to taunt her, to remind her of what she'd just lost. She remembered training with him to dual wield, him playfully trying to check her footing. She remembered times they sat at the bar in the Ragged Flagon, sharing smiles and jokes as if their budding relationship was a secret just for them. She fought back memories of their first night together in the Bee and Barb when he pick pocketed her coin purse. The kiss by the graveyard when a guard was passing. The look on his face as he stood bracing himself on her doorway in the rain. They came steadily as if assaulting her one by one with the realization that they were all over. There would be no more smiles over a tankard of mead in the Flagon or mornings where she tried to convince him not to leave and to stay for one more round.

There would be no more Mercer because that Mercer never really existed.

The Mercer that she trusted with her past from the Dark Brotherhood and that offered to help her piece together the fragments of her broken mind. The Mercer who told her she wasn't alone. The Mercer who told her he needed her. The Mercer that had told her and showed her things that he had told and shown no other. That Mercer was all a farce. An illusion. The real Mercer was a liar, a betrayer and a murderer.

She screamed out in anger, in agony, in heartbreak. There were no words that described the feeling of her heart shattering, the pieces that had just started to heal back together cracking into shards. She knew he couldn't have gone far. He had to be around here somewhere. She began to yell, to scream with all her might into the frigid Winterhold sky.

"Mercer you coward!" She held her arms out to the side, spinning around in case he could see her. In case he was watching. Listening. "How could you?!"

She grabbed at some of the loose snow that had built up along the roads and packed it into a ball before launching it at nothing in particular. "I know you're around here somewhere Mercer! Come out and face me! Look me in the eyes and admit to me what you did!"

The silence she heard in response was too much to bear. She pulled down her hood and grabbed at her hair, tears streaking across her cold face.

"MERCER!" She spun around as she screamed, hoping she was facing the right direction. The ground was slick, and her foot caught a particularly icy patch on the road as she spun. In an instant, she was on her back, the hard ground knocking the air from her lungs.

She gulped for air to replenish what she'd lost from her fall. She gulped for air to combat her sobbing. She laid on her back staring up at the gray sky as her body gave out its last croaks and tears, exhaustion overtaking her. The last thing she remembered as she felt her body go numb from the cold was speaking out into the openness of the Winterhold sky to the memory of a person who no longer existed.

"Mercer…"

* * *

"Miss? Miss are you alright?"

Kaiya could hear someone calling out to her from across a great distance. She couldn't call back; her lungs had no air. A faint light slowly began to come back into focus as she forced herself to open her eyes. Candlelight. She started to sit up causing her limbs to tingle from the movement. She could feel soft fur beneath her and realized that she was no longer cold. She was indoors.

"Where am I?" she croaked out, her head throbbing from the effort. Her eyes tried to make sense of her surroundings. She recognized that she was in a bed but the room was quite unfamiliar.

"You're in the Frozen Hearth in Winterhold. I spotted you out in the ice fields and brought you here. You're a lucky woman; I usually don't venture far from this inn." Her rescuer spoke with the typical intonation of an Altmer, unsurprising considering where they were.

She slowly turned her head so she could see the elf who spoke to her, immediately recognizing the robes worn by a wizard of the college. He sat in a chair that he had pulled over to the side of the bed to keep an eye on her, she supposed. "I know those robes. College robes," she said, her voice dry with disuse. "I don't recognize you though."

"Ha!" the Altmer scoffed as he fell back into his chair. "My days at the college are long behind me."

"Mm, a dropout I see," Kaiya joked as she pushed herself up to a sitting position, leaning her back against the headboard of the bed.

"I am no dropout!" the elf cried with offense. "I merely -"

"Relax, it was just a joke," she interjected with a soft laugh. She loved when elves misunderstood her humor. "You have a name?"

"I'm Nelacar," he introduced himself with a slight bow of his head. "And you are?"

"The name's Kaiya" she offered with nod of her own. "Now do you have any water around here Nelacar or should I start melting some snow?"

Nelacar hopped up from his position seated next to the bed and headed towards the door without a word. She hoped he was finding her something she could drink; her mouth was so dry she was having trouble forming words. The elf might be a little socially awkward, but she doubted that he would just walk out and leave her alone in what seemed to be his permanent residence. She took the opportunity to try to smooth out her wild hair, tangled as it was. She wiped her cheeks with her sleeve, hoping she didn't look as horribly as she felt.

He returned promptly with a tankard and handed it to her as he returned to his seat, watching her has she gulped the contents down. "Thanks Nels" she said as she exhaled, catching her breath. "Now do you have anything stronger than this?"

"I don't know if that's wise-" he started before Kaiya shook her head at his words.

"Nels I know we just met but trust me," she stressed her words with her hands, punctuating her need "you'll like me better after a mead or four."

She watched as a small smile crept into the corner of Nelacar's mouth before he rose and walked towards the bookshelf positioned in the back of his room. "I don't have mead, but I do have wine" he offered as he held up the bottle for her to see. She nodded emphatically as she handed him her tankard to fill. "That'll be just fine Nels, thanks."

"And for the record," he said as he poured her wine, "I like you just fine."

She gave him a sweet smile in response, but it felt hollow to her. While she appreciated his clumsy flirtation, she was not in a place to reciprocate. The realization dawned on her like an epiphany - this may be the first time in years that with no other suitor around, she wouldn't take an attractive man up on an offer to share his bed. The thought angered her, not at herself as much as at the man who did this to her. The man who ruined her for anyone else.

She gulped the wine down just as she had the water he had given her, hoping to chase away these venomous thoughts with that blissful numbness she so often sought. He filled her tankard once more as she downed the contents, commenting on how he "respected a woman who could handle her wine."

The feeling that his flirting brought forth was not one she recognized. She felt unlike herself. Here she was, drinking wine with a very attractive and suitable Altmer wizard who had saved her life, but all she could think about was the man who had betrayed her. When she identified the feeling, it struck her to the bone. She felt guilty.

"Do you know where I can find Enthir?" she spat out hastily, interrupting the wizard as he waxed poetic about some experiment he was currently working on. She needed to get out of this room if she cared to protect her fragile sanity.

"Enthir? From the college? Why do you ask?" Nelacar responded, seemingly skeptical of her desire to see Winterhold's infamous fence.

"I need his help translating something" she confessed, hastily feeling around her leathers for the Gallus's journal.

"Are you looking for this?" Nelacar asked, reaching over to the counter to retrieve a bound notebook. "You were clutching it when I found you in the snow."

"Yes that!" she yelped as she snatched it back from him. "It's written in some strange language and my… colleague… and I were hoping Enthir could help with the translation." Calling Karliah her colleague had felt wrong in her mouth, but she had no better way to describe their relationship to someone outside of the guild's framework.

"It's written in Falmer" Nelacar stated smugly, proud of himself for recognizing the language.

"Falmer?" Kaiya responded in disbelief. "What in the Oblivion? Okay, well I still need to find Enthir."

She pulled the furs back and began to get out of the bed, her cold toes protesting the loss of warmth. She located her boots and began pulling them onto her feet in a flurry of movement. Nelacar was taken aback by the sudden hasty retreat.

"Must you leave so soon?" he asked, letting his silky voice caress the words as they came out of his mouth. The intention of his velvet words was clear to Kaiya and the thought made her cringe. Then the fact that she cringed at the advances of a man like Nelacar stirred up her anger once again. She considered staying out of spite to the thought of Mercer, not that he would ever know. Or care.

She paused before she responded, not wanting to ruin her chances with this man if she did decide to get over herself and her stupid guilt long enough to forget her plight. "I need to find him, but that doesn't mean I won't come back" she crooned as she faced the Altmer, letting one finger slowly drag down his chest. "But you have to tell me where he is."

The sudden forwardness demonstrated by Kaiya caught the wizard off guard, which was made apparent by the stuttering response he gave her. "I-I-I would be glad to help you find him, Kaiya" he said, regaining his composure as he looked her in the eyes. Kaiya reeled at the sound of her name coming from his mouth. It sounded beautiful, but wrong. "He's actually just downstairs in the cellar."

Kaiya spun at his words and started to head out his bedroom door before he lightly grabbed her wrist, pulling her back to face him. "Now, I'll be here waiting with more wine for you to return when you're done with the merchant." The look in his eyes was unmistakable. Kaiya had been wrong when she pegged him as awkward. This wizard knew exactly what he was doing. She felt the familiar stirring in her belly at the confidence of the Altmer, but the new feeling of guilt jumped up to meet it.

"I won't be long" she spoke like the experienced flirt she was, hardly trying to send a flashing smile his way. It was an act she had perfected over years. Tonight that would be all it was.

She turned and headed for the cellar door, careful not to look back at the man who would be waiting for her to return.


	48. Chapter 48

_19th of First Seed 4E203_

"Enthir?" Kaiya called out once she descended the stairs into the cellar, looking around for the mischievous mage.

"Ah, is that the Archmage?" he said as he moved from behind the table in which he sat to greet her. "Good to see you, Kaiya."

Kaiya cringed when she heard him speak. His voice was so similar to Mercer's she almost expected to see the Breton rogue. Almost. She shook off the feeling as quickly as it came on, careful to shield her emotions from the mer before her.

"Hey Enthir" she crooned as she stepped closer to wrap her arms around the Bosmer in a hug. "It's been a while."

"That it has," he agreed as he pulled back and returned to his spot at the table against the wall. "What do you have for me?"

"Karliah and I were actually hoping you could help us out with translating this journal" she shrugged as she saw the look of recognition and surprise battle for dominance on Enthir's face.

"Karliah?!" Surprise won out. "Small world."

"Indeed. So can you help us out or not Enthir?"

* * *

"Look, I don't care what you have to do to get this translated for us, but we need it done as soon as possible." Kaiya bartered with the mage as she packed up her things. She did not have the time to deal with going all the way to Markarth to try to make a deal with that stubborn court wizard. "If you're as good as you say you are at 'procuring things,' then procuring a translation shouldn't be that much to ask."

"Kaiya this isn't something I-"

"Can you do it or not Enthir? Please? We need your help." She found herself practically begging, something she was not accustomed to doing. Right now however, she was doing a lot that she wasn't accustomed to.

"Fine," he relented as he paced with his hands firmly on his hips "but only because you look like you went through Oblivion to get it. And I expect sufficient payment."

"You can have whatever you want Enthir" she offered with her arms out by her sides. "Money's not a problem."

He grunted as he waved her off, a little embarrassed after demanding coin to do a favor for an old friend. "I'd do anything for Karliah. Go on now, see to it that the guild treats her fairly. She deserves that."

Kaiya nodded in agreement as she turned to leave, confident that Enthir would do whatever it took to get his old friend's journal translated. He put up a front of being a tough negotiator but in actuality, Enthir was soft when it came to the people he cared about. And women. Kaiya liked that about him.

"Always a pleasure" Enthir called at her back as she ascended the stairs towards the inn.

She was tired but restless. There would be no sleep for her tonight. She decided to use her anxious energy to start on her voyage back to Riften, to give her some time to think. She was so lost in her own thoughts that she forgot about the mage waiting for her in the Frozen Hearth, who leaned against the doorway to his room as she walked by.

"You've returned" he cooed, creating space in the doorway so she could enter his room.

"Not tonight, Nelacar" she called out as she continued her exit, storming right past the eager wizard. He didn't chase after her, and that caused her opinion of him to rise significantly. She hated it when men followed after women like hungry beggars.

Icy wind blasted her as she opened the door to the Frozen Hearth, causing her to lose her breath for a moment. Her eyes watered in protest to this new environment and she had to admit that it was much less desirable than a warm bed with a warm mer to keep her company, but yet she traveled on.

Her mind bounced around like a torchbug in a jar trying to come up with a plan for her return to the guild. Would they believe her and Karliah? Should she have gotten the journal translated before she left? It was too late now, she convinced herself, so she needed to decide how they would go about proving to the guild, her friends, what Mercer had done.

This would not be an easy conversation. Ornery as he was, Mercer had a loyal following from those inside the Thieves Guild. They trusted him, respected him, looked to him as a mentor. It would crush all of them to learn of what he really was, but there was no way they could hurt more than she already was. A selfish part of her was secretly glad that soon she'd have some company in her misery. Karliah would never understand, but Delvin might.

Try as she might to stay focused, her mind kept wandering back to the rogue that she so desperately wanted to hate. She was so angry, furious even, at what he had done and the lies he had told her, but she couldn't get herself angry enough to hate him. To forsake him and what they had. Although she could never speak it aloud to another living soul, she knew in her heart that if he were to show up here in this path leading out of Winterhold that she would greet him as she always did. She would forgive him. She would do anything she could do to get him back. She was convinced that maybe she didn't know the whole story and maybe he had his reasons. Good reasons.

As her trek continued south towards Eastmarch however, the hope that she had held onto for his redemption began to slowly fade. The more she thought about all he had done the more she realized that her hope was a fool's hope, and nothing more. The anger that had once respected the boundaries of her hope began to encroach into it, taking it over and choking out all but the smallest of glimmers. By the time she reached the edges of the city of Riften, the hope had vanished almost completely. There was no good in him, there was no light to be found in his actions.

He was a liar. He was a murderer. And worst of all, he was a betrayer.

Her anger was like a fire, burning through every vein as her heart pumped her need for vengeance, her desire for retribution. If he were to show up here now, just a day later, he would be met with the tip of her sword instead of her open arms.

Betrayal will do that to a person. Astrid's betrayal had changed her, had fractured her trust and broken her ability to feel kinship with another. The treachery she felt as she watched her brothers and sisters die before her had forever altered the way she would view others. And then she met Mercer. She hardly recognized who she was anymore now that her battered and burned body had undergone another treason. Another heartbreak. She was convinced there was nothing left in her to hurt. She was no longer the warm heart and loyal friend. She now was all iron, cast in the fires of deception. And Mercer would pay for doing this to her.

* * *

She had made her way through Riften before she had even realized she was in the city. Her body seemed to operate on its own, fueled not by sleep and food but by sheer determination of vindication. The only reason she finally paused as she stormed towards the secret entrance to the cistern was the light touch of a hand on her elbow, bringing her pace to a halt.

"It's locked," Karliah spoke softly "we'll have to enter through the Ratway."

Confused, Kaiya tried the button anyway only to realize that Karliah was telling the truth. "That's weird."

"It's standard protocol for the guild to lock the entrance when the Guildmaster is away for longer than expected," Karliah explained as they headed towards the Ratway. "It prevents anyone being able to use him to get in."

"Ah," Kaiya responded. She was beginning to be annoyed at the fact that Karliah knew so much more about the guild than she did. Kaiya had been so blind from Mercer's attentions that she never realized how much she had to learn.

"Do you have the journal?" Karliah asked eagerly, eyeing Kaiya's pack as if she may be able to see it through the leather if she tried hard enough.

"No," Kaiya responded bluntly. "It's going to take some time. Looks like we're going to have to rely on Plan B after all." She gave Karliah a side smile and a wink to try to calm the anger that looked like it was taking shape on her face.

"What?" she demanded through a forced whisper as she grabbed Kaiya's arm, forcing her to stop. "That was the proof we needed! They'll never believe my word over Mercer's. I'm as good as dead!"

"Oh calm down," Kaiya groaned as she brushed Karliah's hand from her arm. "I've got a plan. Plus, it's me. It's like you said, I'm also their friend and ally."

"But what if Mercer's in there?" Karliah challenged, not calming down in the slightest.

The thought caused Kaiya's heart to twist in her chest. Running into him here hadn't even crossed her mind. "He won't be" she spoke meekly, not confident in her own words, "but if he is then we just hope my plan works out and it doesn't all end in bloodshed." She began walking as she spoke so she would not have to sit under the inspecting eyes of the Dunmer any longer.

"Well that's comforting" Karliah said sarcastically, jogging to catch up.

"I'm not here to comfort you," Kaiya responded sternly. "Now just try not to smile while we break all of their hearts, okay?"


	49. Chapter 49

_21st of First Seed 4E203_

"You better have a good reason for bringing that murderer down here, Kaiya."

Brynjolf was furious. He stood blocking their way into the cistern, crouched into a fighting stance with his dagger unsheathed. He was flanked by Delvin and Vex, both equally angry and ready to fight. The sight formed a lump in Kaiya's throat - these were her friends, poised and ready to fight her over the story they had been fed by a liar.

"Please Bryn, this isn't easy for me to do." Kaiya spoke calmly, forcing the tears that were beginning to form in her eyes to retreat. "But I need you to listen to what I'm about to tell you."

"This better not be a trick, Kaiya." Brynjolf warned as he sheathed his dagger and approached them cautiously. "I won't hesitate to defend our guild."

His loyalty caused the tears Kaiya was fighting so hard to break free, two of them slipping down her cheeks. "I know, Bryn." She took a deep breath with her eyes closed to steady her frenzied nerves before beginning.

"Mercer lied to you. Lied to us all." She stopped trying to hide her emotions from the thieves before her, who needed to see how hurt she was. How hurt they'd be soon. "He's the one that killed Gallus. He's been stealing from the guild for years. Gallus figured it out and that's why he killed him." The tears flowed freely now.

"Kaiya, this must be a misunderstanding." Delvin spoke now, his calm voice breaking Kaiya even further. She hated having to be the one to bear this news.

"I heard it for myself, Delvin. Trust me, if there was anyone here who wished there was a misunderstanding, it would be me." She covered her mouth to try to keep in the sobs that threatened to spill out at the sight of empathy on Delvin's face. She'd seen that before. He was warring between arguing her and hugging her.

"Do you have proof of this? Not to say I don't believe you lass, but I've known Mercer too long to just take someone else's word over his." Brynjolf crossed his arms over his chest and stood strong, although Kaiya recognized the fear in his eyes.

"Check the vault," she suggested meekly as she looked down at her hands. "If I'm right, you'll see for yourself. If I'm wrong, and sweet Sithis I'd love to be wrong, then it will all be normal."

As they all made their way towards the guild vault, Karliah reached out and put a hand on Kaiya's shoulder for support. She understood this must be tough for her. Kaiya's initial reaction was to shrug her hand off, but she stopped herself. It didn't make sense, but there was still a part of her that was angry at Karliah for all of this. For stirring the pot, for bringing it all up. If it wasn't for her, it would still be business as usual in the cistern, the bustling activity of the thieves going about their heists and robberies, Mercer hunched over the ledger at his desk. They wouldn't be walking towards the vault to check on the consequences of Mercer's embezzlement if it wasn't for her.

But Kaiya knew that wasn't fair. It wasn't Karliah's fault. It was Mercer's, plain and simple. Karliah had been brave to bring this forth, to put an end to what Mercer saw as business as usual. Kaiya respected her for it, for asking for justice, but it still hurt. It seemed as though nothing would be simple for them anymore, but life was rarely that easy.

"Bryn, how could he open the vault with only one key?" Delvin asked quietly, still in disbelief. "There's no way."

"I'm with Delvin on this one," Vex interjected. "That's the best puzzle door money can buy. There's no way he could've picked it, I don't care how talented he is."

"He didn't need the key" Karliah spoke quietly enough that no one other than Kaiya heard her. Kaiya's brows furrowed as she swung her head to eye the Dunmer, questions written all over her face. Karliah kept facing forward, apparently unwilling or unable to discuss what she meant.

When the group reached the giant puzzle doors of the vault, Brynjolf stepped up first to put in his key. Then Delvin. The sound of gears turning could be heard inside the massive door and then it opened with a hiss. Brynjolf crossed the threshold first with a jittery, nervous energy that was foreign to his usual demeanor.

"Dear gods," he exclaimed as an exhale. "It's gone. It's all gone."

Delvin and Vex charged in at Brynjolf's words, closely followed by Karliah and Kaiya. "What?!" Delvin cried, spinning around in the empty room to make sure he wasn't missing anything. "All of it? Gone!?"

"I'll KILL that son of a bitch!" Vex spat as she unsheathed her dagger once again.

Kaiya had no control over her visible wince at Vex's words. Even as angry as she was, the anger displayed by her fellow guild members tore her open as if she was experiencing it for the first time alongside them. Delvin noticed her struggle and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Vex, enough" he spoke calmly, reducing the tension in the room. "That's not helping anything right now."

"Fine," Vex snipped. "We'll do it your way for now Delvin, but I swear to the divines if that skeever so much as approaches the cistern again, you won't be able to stop me."

Brynjolf had remained quiet, his eyes locked onto one of the many open chests that lie throughout the room. "I can't believe it" he breathed. "All these years…" He let his sentence trail off, but his meaning was clear.

After twenty-five years of working together, trusting each other, having each others' backs and respecting each other, it was all ruined in an instant. His eyes looked glazed over as if they were swimming in memories, reaching back for any clue that he had missed, any indication that Mercer was not what he seemed. Kaiya approached him and wrapped her arms around him to bring him into a hug. He stayed dazed for a heartbeat longer, then responded by enveloping Kaiya in return. He squeezed her tight as though she were his tether to reality. As if she alone could keep him from diving head first into his own ruminations.

"What now?" Delvin broke the silence that hung in the room. "What do we do?"

"We find him and make him pay." Karliah spoke with a razor's edge tone to her voice. This had been the moment she had been waiting for.

"And how do we do that, huh?" Vex jumped in now. "I'm sorry and I know we've treated you like shit for twenty-five years, but I still have a lot of questions."

"And you will have your answers" Karliah said tersely, effort taken to remain calm "but first, we need to figure out where he's run off to. We don't have much time."

They stood in awkward silence for a minute, each of the thieves thinking about what their next step could be. Brynjolf had the first idea.

"I hate to ask this of anyone," he spoke to the group "but we need someone to search Mercer's house to see if he left behind any clues."

"I'll do it." Kaiya stated as if it were nonnegotiable.

"You sure, lass?" Brynjolf asked with concern. "He has paid mercenaries there. It will be dangerous."

"I know the mercenaries, Brynjolf" she said flatly. "I've been over there a time or two. They know me."

Brynjolf looked back at her with surprise, apparently the only one in the room who was unaware of Kaiya's relationship with Mercer.

"They were involved, Bryn" Delvin explained. "Kai and Mercer."

"Involved?" Brynjolf now directed his questions to Kaiya, his brows knitted together in confusion. "What does he mean, Kaiya?"

"It means we were fucking, Brynjolf" Kaiya answered with a laugh. "Does that help explain it?"

"Oh it was more than that, love" Delvin disagreed. "I saw the two of you together. I'd argue that you were lovers."

Kaiya's eyes filled up with moisture at Delvin's words, once again betraying her emotion. "Godsdammit I wish I would stop crying!" she laughed as she dried her eyes with her sleeve. "This is getting to be ridiculous."

"Well this is pretty devastating news lass," Brynjolf consoled her with a hand on her nape. "I'm sorry for you, Kai. I didn't know about you and Mercer, but I know that makes it harder."

Kaiya laughed again, covering her pain. "And here you thought you had it rough just because he was your trusted friend and leader for twenty-five years."

His lips curled into a sad smile and his fingers squeezed her nape affectionately in response to her joke. "You sure you're okay to search his house Kai?"

"Damn you guys act like I've never had to deal with heavy shit before!" she continued laughing as she brushed off his hand. "Do remember that I've handled problems a little more difficult than this in my past."

"Oh how silly of me to look out for your feelings, Dragonborn" Brynjolf taunted in reply, understanding from Kaiya's tone that she desperately wanted to end the emotional conversation. "Be off then! We'll search his desk and effects in the cistern while you're gone."

With a swift nod, Kaiya turned on her heels to rush out of the vault and out of the cistern, wanting desperately to have a bit of distance from her friends. Their concern and care was almost too much for her shattered heart to handle. The past few days had been a barrage of emotion and she was running the risk of losing sight of her anger if she was around caring friends much longer. That anger is what was going to help her survive this; she wouldn't make it any other way.

She could feel exhaustion setting in as she jogged through the cistern and the thought terrified her. She hadn't slept in days and soon she'd have to. Gods only knew what nightmares would be waiting for her when she did.


	50. Chapter 50

_21st of First Seed 4E203_

The sun was just beginning to set on the city of Riften as Kaiya approached the back gate to Riftweald Manor. She could see Vald doing his rounds, walking from one corner of the small backyard to another.

"Psst!" Kaiya called out in a forced whisper. "Vald!"

"Kaiya?" the mercenary asked as he approached the other side of the gate. "Mercer's not here."

"I know, but I need to get into his place." She grabbed two iron bars of the gate and pressed her face as close as she could through the space between so Vald could see her eyes. "Can you help me out?"

"Shit Kaiya" Vald groaned as he rubbed the back of his neck. "You know I can't let you in without orders from the boss."

"I know Vald, but will it help if I tell you he's not coming back?"

"Why wouldn't he be coming back?" Vald asked with interest. "He didn't take much with him when he left."

"He's on the run," Kaiya stated plainly.

"Oh shit, from the guards?" Vald leaned in to whisper his question, not wanting any guard that happened to be nearby to overhear him.

"From the guild." Kaiya's eyes bored into his to accentuate the gravity of her statement. "He messed up real bad, Vald."

"Well why do you need to get in here then?" he asked. Kaiya could tell his resolve was cracking.

"To see if he left anything behind that might tell us where he's going," she answered honestly. "You've always been good to me Vald, so I that's why I'm telling you the truth and not making up some dumb excuse. You know if he's not returning then you won't get paid."

"But I'll still have my debt with Maven" he admitted through clenched teeth. "I'll be working for that witch for the rest of my life at this rate."

"What if I promised that I would handle that for you?" Kaiya offered with a shrug.

"You would do that for me?" Vald asked with surprise. "Why?"

"Like I said, I like you Vald" she shrugged again. "Plus, I hate seeing anyone stuck under that woman's thumb. I'll erase every debt she keeps if I can."

"If you did that, you would be the true hero of Skyrim" Vald joked with a chuckle. "The Dragonborn wouldn't have shit on you."

Kaiya smiled at the irony of his statement but did not correct him. "So will you let me in or not, Vald?"

He hesitated for a moment longer, rubbing the back of his neck as he thought. "You've always been nice to me too, Kaiya" he started to answer. "Not all of the company Mercer has invited here over the years could say the same, but you always treated me like I was a person, not just muscle."

Kaiya stayed quiet to let him finish his thought, even though he had trailed off.

"Yeah I'll let you in" he groaned with a smile. "But don't make me regret this, little one." He unlocked the gate and opened it wide for Kaiya to enter.

"Here" he said as he handed her the key. "You finally got a key to your boyfriend's place." He joked, but immediately regretted it as he saw her face fall. "Oh I'm sorry Kai, it was just a joke-"

"It's fine" she interjected with a beaming false smile. She went up onto her toes to be able to reach his shoulders as she hugged him, mumbling "thank you Vald" into his ear. He rubbed her back in return before breaking away.

"Well I guess I should make myself scarce, huh?" he laughed as he ruffled Kaiya's hair. "Take care, kid."

And at that, Vald looked both ways out of the gate to make sure he wasn't being watched before taking off. "Good luck, Vald" Kaiya said softly once he was out of earshot, knowing he would have hell to pay if Mercer ever found him.

* * *

"There's nothing in here" Kaiya mumbled to herself with exasperation as she sat on the floor in one of Mercer's cluttered side rooms. She had really hoped that she would find what she was looking for in one of these rooms so she wouldn't have to venture into his bedroom, but she knew that was probably too much to hope for.

She steeled her nerves and got to her feet, resolute that she wouldn't let her emotions get the better of her and ruin this mission. If there was something here, she had to find it. She wanted to find it. Kaiya was surprised at how thankful she was that they were going after Mercer. If they caught up with him then she could make him answer to her. She could make him look her in the eyes and tell her none of what they had mattered. At least then she would have some closure. A quiet whisper in her mind admitted "and you'd get to see him again too" but she tamped that down before it had a chance to truly surface. No use wasting her almost depleted energy on those thoughts.

Her breath caught in her throat once she stepped inside Mercer's bedroom. It was just like she had last seen it, a fire burning in front of two chairs, a large bed saddled up to a wooden post. She let her eyes scan around the contents of the room, remembering the first time she had been invited here. It was right before Goldenglow. Her eyes stopped on one of the wooden pillars by the bedroom door. This was where they had their first real kiss. Well, their first kiss after she joined the guild that wasn't just to throw off a passing guard.

She swallowed hard to get the lump in her chest to go away, but it seemed as though it would be staying around for a while. With a deep breath, she made her way through the contents of the room, shoving out any intrusive memory that jumped up in the process. She went through the barrels, the chests, the shelves and even looked under the bed but found nothing.

With a tired exhale, she plopped onto his bed in order to think for a moment. Where would he have kept plans? Or notes? Or a journal? Mercer didn't strike her as the journal keeping type, but then again he hadn't seemed like the betraying type either. She fell backwards onto the bed to stare at the ceiling, but putting herself that close to his furs was a grave mistake. His smell. In an instant, it was all she could comprehend and it sent her mind reeling. Water on stones. Smoke and leather.

She sat up with a gasp, eyes watering at the assault of memory from his scent. Damn him! She forced herself to get up from the bed and to leave the bedroom. If she couldn't find anything else she would return for one more check, but right now she needed to get out fast lest she risk slipping down that rabbit hole.

She jogged from his bedroom to a set of stairs that led down to the first floor of the manor. Once she was away from his bedroom, the memories and smell began to fade. She took a few deep breaths to center herself before pressing on through her search.

The dining room was set as though he would be back for dinner at any moment. Plates with salmon steak and bottles of mead covered the table, leading Kaiya to assume that perhaps it was for the mercenaries that she had dismissed earlier.

Nothing seemed out of the ordinary in the dining room, so she made her way into another one of the side rooms on the first floor. This room was a little more sparse, and she immediately noticed a note sitting on one of the tables. She picked it up hastily, wondering what he could have written and left for her to find. It was with sheer embarrassment that she realized it was just a shopping list. She threw it onto the floor in frustration, not caring where it landed. It was then however that she saw a second note on the floor. She picked it up quickly and opened it with the same eagerness as she had the shopping list and this time was met with more of a reward for her efforts.

It was a letter from someone named Kilthinius Dandoril, a name she did not recognize. He was writing Mercer to let him know the job he had been hired for was completed to Mercer's "surprisingly specific specifications." There was a mention of the balcony ramp and at first Kaiya assumed that's all Kilthinius had been hired for but then she read it again. This time she noticed a mention of a floor mechanism. What floor mechanism?

Kaiya's interest was piqued. She knew all about the balcony ramp that Mercer had installed outside for easy escapes, but she had never heard nor seen any floor mechanism in all the times she had visited him here. With a renewed fervor, she pushed on through the rest of the room. She checked a wardrobe and snickered at the fine clothes that hung in it. This must be where he kept his 'disguises' as he had once referred to them.

In the second wardrobe however, there was nothing except for a pair of boots and an odd looking back panel. She had seen something like this before in Windhelm when she helped the local guards solve a few murders. This must be a false panel just like the one in Hjerim. She looked around in a frenzy to find some way of opening this panel when her eyes fell on a pull chain, camouflaged by the stone pillar it hung against. She would never have noticed it had she not been looking for it.

With a yank, she pulled the chain and listened for the sound she knew would come next - the grinding of gears as the mechanism gave way. Sure enough, the false back panel of the wardrobe moved away and she was greeted with an opening into a cobweb infested room. She climbed through the wardrobe while batting away the cobwebs that threatened to entangle her.

The room was entirely normal besides the entrance, which at first caught Kaiya off guard before she noticed the steps descending into a cellar. Once down the stairs, she knew she had found what she had come looking for. There was a gaping hole knocked out of the stonework of one of the walls, revealing a dark pathway into the sewer system that beckoned to her.

She crawled through the hole and made her way through the corridor in the only way possible. A chest sat behind a few iron bars, but Kaiya knew a trap when she saw one. She quickly identified the pressure plate that hid itself in front of the bars and congratulated herself for not walking into that one.

She continued to walk in a crouch through the tunnel, not wanting anyone who may dwell in this dank sewer to be aware of her intrusion. When the path made a slight left, she was shocked at the sudden presence of flame traps littered across the floor. Whatever Mercer kept at the end of this tunnel, he wanted no one to know about.

With a WULD NAH KEST, Kaiya quickly made her way past the flame spouts and further into the tunnel. She avoided another pressure plate before recognizing she was on the other side of the wall that she started at. The chest that had been obstructed by iron bars was now next to her and open for the taking. The opportunist in her saw no reason not to loot it, so she did before making her way further into the sewer.

The next hallway presented a bit more of a problem with its swinging blades and battering ram. She stood still for a moment, taking in all she was discovering about her former Guildmaster throughout this process. Not only was there this secret tunnel she knew nothing about, but battering rams? What kind of guy puts battering rams in his house? He would have to have a lot of secrets…

With another WULD NAH KEST she made it through the swinging blades unscathed. If he intended to keep everyone out, he had never considered someone with her skills would be trying to break in. The path had finally ended at a wooden door that Kaiya noticed was also rigged with a tripwire. The last trap.

She flung open the door and jumped out of the way as a barrage of poison darts shot out of the trap above the door. The darts smelled acidic, a potent fume that caused her eyes to water. Waving her hand in front of her face to dispel the odor, she stepped into the room. At the sight of where she was, her mouth dropped open in shock.

She had been here before.


	51. Chapter 51

_22nd of First Seed 4E203_

There she stood in the secret office that Mercer had brought her to just days before. The room he told her he had never shown another living soul. The room in which she confronted him about his relationship with Karliah and they discussed the intricacies of his involvement with Maven. The room in which they had reconciled their argument on the very desk that stood before her. The desk that stood now as a stark reminder of how much had changed in just a few days.

She first approached the weapon case that was locked up on the side of the room. Chillrend, he had told her it was called. Grasping for her lockpicks in a flurry of movement, she hastened to open the case to get at the sword inside. She could see the enchantments coming off of the sword like an aura. She wanted this sword. She needed it. The reason was uncertain, but she felt compelled to get her hands on this glass blade. Maybe it was because it was a beautiful, powerful weapon. Maybe it was because it was something tangible of Mercer's that she could hold onto.

With a final click, the lock fell open. She opened the glass covering to the case and stared at its contents with wonder. As her hand touched the hilt, she knew that she would not be letting this weapon go. She gave it a few practice swings in the small space before storing it in her pack. She'd have to adjust her sword belt to hold it later.

She moved on from there and worked her lockpicks through the rest of the chests and dug her hands into the burial urns throughout the room. There was a small amount of vindication she felt from looting Mercer's goods like he had looted theirs. A bowl of gems also sat on the desk to which she helped herself. She discovered a gold ring in the bowl with the gems and took it upon herself to accept his gracious gift, even audibly exclaiming "Why Mercer! You shouldn't have!" as she pushed it onto her finger. A note was left out on the desk that she jumped at the opportunity to read. It was from someone that called themselves "R" and was apparently a fan of Mercer's. Kaiya couldn't help but feel a bit impressed at the heist described in this letter. As she had said before, he wasn't the Guildmaster for nothing. Her eyes then locked onto the one item in the room that had not been there during her last visit. Sitting on the desk in plain view was a detailed plan for a heist in Irkngthand.

She grabbed the plans as her eyes scanned every inch. Why would he just leave this in the open like this? In a place he had shown her before? Suddenly, his motive was clear. He wanted her to find it. He wanted her to chase him.

She tamped down the fluttering her heart did in her chest by reminding herself that she was angry. He wasn't baiting her so that they could reunite in an old Dwarven ruin. He was baiting her so that they would chase him for some dark, nefarious purpose. But what purpose could he have? The answer she feared crept up through the haze of her thoughts and smacked her. This is where he intends to have their final showdown. He intended to ambush them like Karliah ambushed him.

She rolled up the plans with more aggression than was necessary, safely storing them in her pack. If he wanted to bait them then bait them he did. They would follow, but he had no idea what he would be facing. He had no idea what kind of vitriol he had awoken in Kaiya.

She finished cleaning out the room, swiping his prized Gray Fox bust that sat in the corner of the desk and looking through his books for anything of value. Feeling as if her search had reached its end, she made her way out the same way she had entered the very first time. She dropped down through the hole that brought her to the Ratway and jogged back to the Ragged Flagon to show the others what she had found.

* * *

"He's going after the Eyes of the Falmer?!"

Brynjolf's eyes were wide with surprise as he gazed at the plans Kaiya presented him. He had found no luck in tracking Mercer through his own means, but Kaiya's findings were more than enough to get them in the right direction.

"Then he means to disappear for good."

Brynjolf rolled up the plans and handed them back to Kaiya, his eyes staring off into space. Kaiya stuffed the plans back into her pack as she watched him, waiting on some instruction or explanation of what he was thinking.

"Are you going to explain what you're talking about or -" Kaiya started but did not get to finish her question as Brynjolf interjected.

"This was Gallus's pet project. A heist he had worked tirelessly on for years that he never got to see come to fruition. It's Mercer's final insult to have this plan be his last."

"And why do you assume that it's his last?" Kaiya asked.

"Because it would set him up for life" he spat, clearly upset by the thought.

"Oh," Kaiya said dejectedly. "Well it's obvious he wants us to follow him, so we should be prepared for an ambush."

"What makes you so sure, lass?" Brynjolf's attention snapped back to Kaiya at her comment. He had not gotten the same impression from the plans.

"Because he had them laying out in plain sight in his office that he had taken me to just days prior. He knew I would find them."

"Shor's beard" Brynjolf exclaimed, his mind wandering off once more in thought. He shook his head quickly to try and clear his mind from the bouncing ideas within to continue updating Kaiya. "Karliah wishes to speak with both of us."

"I'm sure she does" Kaiya spoke sarcastically, raising her eyebrows in mock surprise. "She's been waiting for this for 25 years."

"Why do I get the impression that you're mad at her for this?" Brynjolf asked tersely, folding his arms over his chest.

Kaiya exhaled heavily in response. "I'm not mad at her for any of what has happened," Kaiya explained. "I do feel though that she doesn't give a flying fuck whether or not this has hurt us in the process. It's like all she has in her head is vengeance and doesn't care if our hearts are broken along the way as long as she gets people to help her enact her revenge."

Brynjolf's brows shot up at her answer. He hadn't expected that. "Well, I need you two to get along. I've apologized for how the guild has treated her in the past and she's been gracious. She says has her eyes on the future. Maybe it's time we do the same."

Kaiya narrowed her eyes at the thief before her. "Gods I hate it when people say that. 'Forget about the past and let's move forward.'" she spoke in a mocking tone. "The only people who say that shit are people who have more to gain from me 'getting over it' than they do from helping me through it." She ran her hands through her hair in frustration, surprised at her own reaction as much as Brynjolf was. "See this is the shit that makes me miss Mercer," she admitted with a laugh. "He understood that not everything was so easy to just get over. He understood that some things took time and that was okay."

"I never said you had to just get over it, Kai" Brynjolf thundered. "But we don't have time to hang around and nurse your wounds. Karliah is not your enemy. Mercer is your enemy. It's time for you to accept that."

"Whatever Bryn, fine. Let's go talk to Karliah. Let's go fight Mercer. Let's go do whatever you want as long as you stop giving me life advice about something you have minimized and frankly don't understand." She stormed off away from where Brynjolf stood, but he reached out and grabbed her elbow before she could get far.

"Hey!" he growled, pulling her close to him so she could see the anger in his eyes. "I'm sorry if I stumbled into a conversation I wasn't ready for, lass. I didn't mean to insult you, I just want you to have a level head, is all."

"Do any of us have level heads right now, Bryn?" Kaiya spun around as she spoke and faced Brynjolf, her face only a few inches from his. "Can you look me in the eyes right now and tell me that you feel centered and balanced and level headed? Because if you can, then I envy your lack of emotion. But if you're the person I think you are, then I know you're struggling as much as I am." She took a deep breath before continuing while Brynjolf stood silent as he thought on her words. "We'll get through this but it's not going to be easy and I need you to understand that. I need you to understand that I may need you to give me some patience and you may need the same and that's okay. It's okay that this is hard. It's okay that this hurts and it's okay that we're all freaking out a little bit right now. Because if it's not okay now then when is it?"

Brynjolf stared back at her with a blank expression, his mind reeling and trying to keep up with what just happened. After enough time had passed where Kaiya begun questioning if he was even paying attention anymore or not, the corners of his mouth began to turn up into a grin.

"Well color me impressed lass" he teased as he held her by the shoulders to face him. "I never knew you had it in ya to be so deep. Here I thought you were just a pleasure seeking lecher like myself but you have put me to shame!" He laughed as he pulled her into a hug, though she was too stunned to hug back. "I hear ya lass, and I'll give ya patience. It's okay, you're right."

At Brynjolf's words Kaiya grasped his leathers to her tightly, thankful and grateful that he understood what she needed. She was beginning to realize that even though the Thieves Guild no longer held Mercer, she had plenty of friends here.

This place was still home.


	52. Chapter 52

_22nd of First Seed 4E203_

"The time has come to decide Mercer's fate."

Karliah's words spun in Kaiya's head, making her dizzy. For a moment, she worried that she would topple off the side of the platform where they stood in the center of the cistern. This conversation was destined to happen, but no amount of preparation could have readied Kaiya for it. In a way, deciding Mercer's fate was deciding her own.

"Brynjolf, until a new Guildmaster is chosen, that decision falls to you." Karliah spoke with authority, bristling Kaiya's already frayed nerves.

"Aye lass, and I've come to a decision." Brynjolf spoke sadly, foreshadowing the decision he had yet to utter.

Kaiya's dizziness worsened. Was it hot in here? Was this not moving too fast? Before she could stop herself, words lept from her mouth. "Does no one else have a say in this decision, Bryn?" She cringed at how pleading her voice sounded in her ears.

For a moment, Kaiya could have sworn she saw Brynjolf wince. His eyes were cast downward, unable to meet her questioning stare. He didn't have to say a word for Kaiya to know exactly what he had decided. The realization caused her stomach to plummet to her feet.

"Mercer Frey tried to kill you and Karliah, he betrayed the Guild, murdered Gallus… and he broke your heart, lass." Brynjolf finally dared to bring his eyes to face Kaiya as she stood facing him, mouth agape. "He made us question our future, you probably most of all. He needs to die."

 _He needs to die._

Although she had expected this decision, the words spoken aloud crashed into her like a warhammer. For a moment, she felt like she couldn't breathe. Her eyes jumped from Brynjolf to Karliah, both wearing a look of pity for her. She hated pity. Without realizing what she was doing, she bent forward and placed her hands on her knees to try to steady her breathing. _Inhale. Exhale. Come on Kai. Inhale. Exhale._

"I'm so sorry, lass. It was a difficult decision, but it was one I had to make. You know that." Brynjolf pleaded with her to understand. They couldn't afford division between them on this. She had to understand.

"Just give me a minute, Bryn." Kaiya's voice was cracked with emotion.

She fought her rising temper, her instinct to defend. Kaiya had always been a loyal friend, one who would disembowel another for even thinking of hurting one she considered "hers." Her mind was unused to the cognitive dissonance it was being asked to accept. "MINE" her heart screamed at her, reminding her that Mercer was one of the names on her list of people she would defend to the death. She breathed in slowly, willing logic to battle the instinct inside her. He had betrayed them. He had murdered one of their own. Was the rest of the Guild not on that list? Would she not have killed anyone who betrayed Delvin? Slaughtered any who thought to harm Brynjolf? It was as if she were standing in the destroyed sanctuary all over again, Blade of Woe in her hand, being asked to slay the woman who brought destruction on her family. She had done it then without pause. What was different about this?

She knew the answer to her own question. The only difference was her and her damn emotions. She couldn't stand in her own way to protect her new family. There would be no redemption for her if she stood in the way of defending the Guild. With wobbly legs, she stood back up and ran a trembling hand through her hair.

"I know," she croaked out. "He has to die."

A hand was placed on her shoulder for comfort, but she couldn't bring herself to pay attention to who it belonged to. Her eyes gazed into the distance, locking onto nothing in particular. The conversation continued on without her. She heard "Nightingales" and some mention of Nocturnal. Brynjolf seemed surprised. They began to make preparations for the next step, all while Kaiya continued to stare. She couldn't bring herself to look away from the water gushing from the pipes above her, cascading down the wall and crashing into the pool below them. More water. More churning. The sound was bombarding her ears the more she let it in, but she wanted it in. Wanted it to wash away the chaos in her head.

"Kaiya, can you do that?" Karliah's voice snapped Kaiya's attention back to the conversation with a jolt.

"Do what?" she said, although her eyes still felt as though they were floating. With a shake, she brought her focus back to the purple eyes of the Dunmer before her.

"Meet us at the standing stones outside of town in the morning?" Karliah continued on with directions on how to get there and what time to meet as Kaiya mentally mapped it out in her head. She knew of the stones.

"Yes, I'll be there."

Karliah gave her a small smile and a nod before turning to walk away, leaving Kaiya alone with Brynjolf in the center of the cistern. He grabbed her shoulder, turning her to face him as he bent down to make his eyes level with hers. "It's going to be okay, lass" he promised, although he sounded unsure. "We're going to get through this."

Kaiya nodded, not knowing what to say. What choice did she have but to get through this? She would be okay like she always was. Broken, battered, cracked into shards, but still pressing on. One day it would all be too much and she would finally be ground into powder, but now she stood. She'd continue on until that day came.

"Go to the Flagon. Get some food, have a drink and for the love of all that is holy, get some sleep lass." He ordered with a crooked smile, trying his damndest to bring her out of her own head.

She nodded again and felt her lips twitch as she tried to return a fraction of his smile.

"Come on, I'll walk with you" he said into her ear as he wrapped a strong arm around her shoulders. He steered her to the Flagon before sitting her at a table with Delvin and ordering her a mead and some dinner. When she had taken her first bite of seared slaughterfish, Brynjolf nodded in appreciation and retreated back to the cistern, no doubt to do some more planning.

Delvin said nothing, just took a sip from his tankard as he watched her slowly make her way through her dinner. When she would slow, he would nod towards her food, encouraging her to continue.

"We're going to kill him, Delvin."

Her words were spoken softly, but they conveyed everything she felt. Her eyes met his, searching for something he could not identify.

"Aye," he forced out in response. "His fate was chosen when he fled from that tomb, love."

"I know," Kaiya agreed as she looked into her tankard. "Still sucks."

The corner of Delvin's lips twitched into a half smile at her words. "That's the truest thing you've ever said."

She couldn't help but mirror his smile in response. Although she was still famished, the food in front of her held no appeal. She picked at it with her fingers, trying to force herself to continue.

"I know that slaughterfish in front of you may as well be a boot for how appealin' it is right now, but you need to eat it." Delvin nudged the plate towards her with another sad smile. "It may be the last meal you get in a while."

"Last meal," Kaiya let out a humorless chuckle. "Fitting."

Delvin stayed quiet, merely letting the heavy words she spoke sink into air around them. As word of the decision to kill Mercer began to make its way through the cistern, more thieves found their way to the Flagon. The atmosphere was somber, a miasma of sadness and anger so thick it seemed to permeate their skin and get caught in their leathers. Without a word, each member of the guild ended up sitting around with a tankard of mead, a silent show of solidarity in their misery.

It was one thing for them to angrily proclaim that Mercer would die at their hands in a number of creative ways when his betrayal was discovered, but it was another to actually plan on doing it. To actively plan and set out with the sole intention of ending the life of their Guildmaster. Some of the thieves picked at food that sat in front of them, sharing in what Kaiya had deemed the "last meal." Others seemed content staring into tankards of mead.

Vex took up the chair between Kaiya and Delvin, joining them as they stared at the table. Delvin reached out and placed a comforting hand on Vex's knee in what was probably their first show of public affection, although no one paid it any mind. They had each other and in times like this, reasons for secrecy paled in the need of a little comfort.

As the night set in, the thieves began to make their way to their beds, one by one, as quietly as they had entered. As each thief left the Flagon, they made sure to walk past Kaiya, giving her shoulder a squeeze or a gentle hand on her arm. No words needed to be spoken to communicate the message they were sending: Good luck. I'm sorry this falls to you. We'll be here when you come back. Each touch caused moisture to build in Kaiya's eyes, but tears never fell. This was not the time for them. This was the time for her to share a bit of her fractured soul with her fellow guild members. Her friends. Her family.

Before long, the Flagon was empty except for Delvin, Vex and Kaiya. Vekel had left moments before, one arm tightly wrapped around Tonilia's waist as they made their way to their bed for the night. Kaiya found herself so incredibly jealous of the thieves that wouldn't be alone tonight. She was dreading sleeping alone.

Delvin and Vex stood to leave but still, no one spoke. Vex squeezed both of her shoulders as she passed and Delvin leaned down to kiss her head before they made their way to their bed. Minutes passed while she continued staring into her tankard of mead. To her surprise, it was still almost full. She hadn't even come close to finishing a single drink. She looked around and for the first time, realized no one else remained in the Flagon. Her mind drifted to the days in which she would wait for this hour each night, hoping for moments alone with her Guildmaster. Now she sat by herself with only her tankard of mead for company.

Kaiya was alone and she didn't want to be anymore.

Silently, Kaiya stood and slowly stumbled towards the room where the leaders of the guild slept. Delvin and Vex were cuddled up in one bed, soft breathing indicating that they were both asleep. Her eyes scanned the room until she found what she was looking for. She approached the bed and lifted the furs before sliding in next to the warm body that laid there, his eyes fixed on the ceiling.

"Come here, lass" Brynjolf crooned, wrapping his arm around her small frame and enveloping her in his warmth. Head on his chest and hand over his heart, she slowly let her tired and achy body relax into him. She was so tired. Brynjolf's fingers ran through her hair, soothing her racing thoughts until they quieted enough that she could rest. As she listened to the steady rhythm of his breathing and felt the beating of his heart beneath her hand, her eyes shuttered closed and she finally, for the first time in days, drifted off to sleep.


	53. Chapter 53

_23rd of First Seed 4E203_

" _Oh no," she thinks, as she approaches the blazing door of the open sanctuary. A sword slashes her back and she turns to face an onslaught of guards with the help of a black, immortal stallion with red eyes. A soldier falls before her, coming to his end with a slice across his throat from her dagger._

She knew this dream. She had it so many times she knew exactly what would happen, how it would end.

 _She runs inside, past the corpses of the fallen guards and through the the hallway that led to a large opening. Fire is everywhere, the smoke clouding her vision and causing her eyes to water. The smell is overwhelming, assaulting her senses. Where is he? She spots the werewolf, fighting for his life and falling with an arrow to the back. She feels the spectral assassin move past her to take on a soldier, one powerful strike sending the ethereal form back to the void. Clashing swords, a redguard fighting at the top of stairs in his Alik'r armor. Where is he? An open casket. Darkness._

Although still asleep, she was aware of what was happening. She knew what was to come next. Astrid.

 _She runs up stairs and through a doorway she had never seen. Debris litters the floor. She jumps over burning wood. Her lungs burn as she jumps through a wall of smoke. Ahead of her she sees a body…_

No. It's changed.

 _Instead of a burnt body on the floor, she sees a man standing in the center of a circle of nightshade and candles. There is no longer an Alik'r warrior with her. She is alone with this man, his back turned to her. Who is he?! Slowly he turns to face her…_

 _Mercer!?_

 _She runs to him but stops before she enters the circle. Her heart pounds in her chest at the sight of him. "What are you doing here?!" she yells above the sound of crumbling stone. He seems to notice for the first time that he's not alone. His gaze raises to meet hers, but there is no recognition in his eyes. "Mercer, it's me!" she calls out, but his face doesn't soften. Instead, his blank stare turns into a menacing scowl, filling his features with hatred. Still, he does not speak. She feels anger rise from her stomach, burning her heart. "HOW COULD YOU!?" she screams, picking up a rock from the floor and launching it at him. He doesn't flinch. "I trusted you! I gave you everything! Did it mean nothing!?" her voice cracks from the effort, smoke still in her lungs, burning her throat. He remains silent. Her anger rages inside her, hating him for not giving her answers. "Tell me to my face you never cared, you bastard!" she screams again, her thu'um threatening to unleash its power on the man before her. "Tell me it was all a trick! Tell me it was all lies! TELL ME YOU DIDN'T LOVE ME!" she pulls at her hair as the sanctuary crumbles around them, but still he does not speak. He stares at her, baring his teeth in disgust but he does not answer her._

 _Suddenly, the sanctuary begins to crumble above them, large boulders crashing between and around them. They are in danger. "MERCER!" she screams, anger forgotten as she races to him to protect him from the falling stone. A large rock falls in her path, blocking her from getting to him. He does not move, though now his face seems to hold fear. He is afraid. He reaches for her just as a boulder drops from the ceiling and heads straight for him… "MERCER!"_

She sat up with a jolt as her eyes snapped open, screaming Mercer's name. Brynjolf hovered above her, straddling her over the furs. His hands were on her shoulders from his unsuccessful attempts to wake her from her nightmare. His breathing matched hers, ragged and heavy. Both of them were sweaty. Both looked scared.

"Are you okay, lass?" he asked with a shaky voice.

"Yeah," she answered, her adrenaline slowly returning to a normal level. "I was having a nightmare."

"So I noticed," he said with a smirk. "At first I thought you were trying to fight me, as many blows as I took trying to figure out what was happening."

Her eyes went wide. "I'm so sorry Bryn," she apologized as her hands covered her mouth in shock. "I didn't mean to!"

"I know, Kai" he laughed as he rolled away from where he straddled her, flopping onto the bed beside her. "It's forgiven. That must have been a nasty one though."

Kaiya ran her fingers through her hair as she tried to catch up. "I have them a lot" she stated as fact. "I should have warned you if I was going to sleep next to you, it's just that, I haven't had a nightmare like that since…" her voice trailed off as a realization struck her.

"Since when, lass?" Brynjolf asked, putting his weight on his elbow in order to face her.

"Since I started sleeping next to Mercer." She slowly turned her head so that her wide eyed stare would meet Brynjolf's. He looked angry.

"And seeing as how you were screaming his name, I'm willing to guess he made an appearance in your nightmare as well."

She shook her head in affirmation.

"Bastard," he cursed as he rolled onto his back. "Just another thing he robbed from you."

Kaiya winced at Brynjolf's anger, although hers was beginning to rise as well. He was right. No matter what happened in the next few days, Mercer had taken away her ability to sleep soundly. She was now worse off than she was before, his betrayal adding a whole new horror to her night terrors.

"Let's go meet Karliah," Kaiya spoke with an eerie calm. "I'm ready."

"That a girl!" Brynjolf exclaimed as he jumped out of bed and started throwing his leathers on over his undershirt. "There's that fire we need!"

Kaiya tried to hold onto it, the "fire" as Brynjolf had called it - the lasting fear and anger from her nightmare. Though it was there, she couldn't shake another residual feeling from her dream that laid right under the surface. A feeling that was so potent and horrifying that she knew she couldn't ponder on it lest she lose her nerve. She would push it down and fight it but she knew it was there - the overwhelming sense of dread, loss and heartbreak she felt as she watched that boulder crashing down towards Mercer as she was powerless to stop it.

* * *

"I feel like we're about to do some necromancy or something," Kaiya joked as she approached the two thieves at the Shadow Stone outside of Riften.

Karliah seemed a bit surprised at Kaiya's jovial attitude considering why they were meeting, but Brynjolf cracked a grin in response as if he was used to this type of behavior from the Breton. "You say that like you have experience, lass. Was this a phase you went through in your time at the college?"

Kaiya matched his grin, happy that he understood her need for banter as a distraction. "Bryn how many times have I had to tell you that what happens at the college stays at the college?"

"Tell that to the horrible case of the rattles I brought home one time."

A laugh burst out of Kaiya's chest as her hand shot up to cover her mouth in an attempt to refrain from laughing at Brynjolf's misfortune. His eyes crinkled at the corners as he watched her reaction, happy to see her smiling again.

The smile was not meant to last however as Karliah brought their attention back to the matter at hand. "Can we get started?"

Kaiya forced herself not to roll her eyes as she diverted her attention to the Dunmer. "Sure," she agreed with a shrug. "I'd love to hear why we're having a secret meeting by the Shadow Stone."

"We've come to seek the edge we need to defeat Mercer Frey." Her voice was steel, unrelenting to the pain she knew it inflicted.

Kaiya stifled a wince. She had to stop reacting so openly to every mention of the man's name. Still, she couldn't stop the acceleration of her heart rate at the blunt admission. "I don't know," Kaiya dithered "I'm pretty fond of the Lord Stone."

"We're not here for the standing stone, Kaiya" Karliah spat with impatience. "This is Nightingale Hall." She pointed towards the mountainside to a door cut into the rock.

"Are we to become Nightingales, then?" Brynjolf asked with wonder in his tone.

"It is my hope that you will, yes." Karliah answered. "Now let's go inside."

A strange sense of foreboding washed over Kaiya as they entered the hall. It was the same feeling she got when she spoke to Gulum-Ei or even Astrid, a feeling that something more was going on beneath the surface and that she should stay alert.

Brynjolf did not seem to have the same reservations, spinning around as he walked to see everything the hall had to offer. "So this is Nightingale Hall?" he asked as they made their way past the entrance and into the cavernous stone opening. "I heard about this place when I joined the Guild, but I never believed it existed."

Kaiya couldn't help the scoff she exhaled as she watched Brynjolf's reaction. He was like a starstruck child. Karliah went on to explain the need the Nightingales had to keep their existence a secret, but that same feeling kept itching at Kaiya's consciousness, wanting to hear what this was really about.

"Why are we here, Karliah?" Kaiya's words seemed to snap Brynjolf out of his reverie and bring attention to the questions he undoubtedly had as well.

"I'm with Kaiya on this one, lass" he said. "I'm not looking to become some priest. I'm not exactly a religious person, nor do I see myself becoming one."

"This isn't about religion Brynjolf," Karliah groaned in irritation. "It's about business."

"Yeah you say that, but we have no idea what's going on." Kaiya interjected, unable to let Karliah skirt the question.

"This is Nightingale Hall," Karliah spoke reverently, effectively ignoring Kaiya's statement. "Now, if you'll both proceed to the armory to don your Nightingale Armor, we can begin the oath."

"The Oath!?" Kaiya and Brynjolf yelped in unison.

"Just put on the armor and I'll tell you everything you want to know." Karliah was beginning to lose her patience, but the two thieves were suspicious.

In the end, Kaiya's curiosity won out over her suspicion. In all her time traversing Skyrim, she knew the value of protecting herself and was never one to turn down a good weapon or effective armor. A small gasp left her lips as she began sliding the enchanted leather onto her body. This armor was exquisite! It fit to her small frame like a second skin and covered her completely. She felt invincible, like no one could touch her as long as she wore it. Perhaps Karliah was right to push them to don the armor first; Kaiya had definitely become more open minded to this Nightingale business if this was part of the deal.

"This is enough to make your head spin, eh?" Brynjolf joked from his position next to her.

When she looked over to respond, her words stopped on her lips at the sight before her. He was like a shadow, his armor so dark that she could barely make out the details. It fit him just as snugly, accentuating every inch of his body that was normally concealed in his bulky guild leathers. She had to admit, he looked pretty damn good in that armor. As if on cue, the reminder that Mercer had been a Nightingale crept up into her mind. Oh what she would have paid to see Mercer wearing this armor. To watch the leather meld to his lithe frame, revealing nothing but his green eyes. Stop it, Kai! She scolded herself, shaking her head to force the thoughts from her mind.

Brynjolf interpreted her actions as a compliment to him, a small chuckle breaking free from the shadow. "Look your fill, lass?" He teased as he stood up a little straighter.

"Oh get over yourself, Bryn" Kaiya responded as she rolled her eyes. If she had thought of telling him he looked good before, she wouldn't now. It would be way too much for his ego.

"We're wasting time." Karliah's voice came from another shadow, having donned the armor herself as well. Kaiya couldn't help but think that Karliah looked comfortable dressed this way, as if she finally felt at home. Her heart softened a bit towards the Dunmer at that. How long had it been since Karliah was able to feel comfortable?

"Okay lass. We've got these getups on. Now what?"

"Beyond this gate is the first step in becoming a Nightingale," Karliah explained as she determinedly headed for the gate.

"Whoa there lass," Brynjolf insisted. "I appreciate the armor but we need to talk about this."

Karliah turned to face them, impatience seeping out of her stance. "If we wish to have any hope of defeating Mercer, we must have Nocturnal at our backs and in order to do that, an arrangement must be struck."

"Wait, what?" Kaiya interjected. "Why would we need the help of a Daedric Prince to take out Mercer? He's just a man."

"For you and Mercer to have been lovers, you don't know much about him," Karliah spat venomously, her fists balled by her sides.

"Whoa!" Kaiya retorted. "Easy there, spitfire. If we're not understanding the gravity of the situation, then maybe you should slow this down and explain it to us."

Karliah's chest rose and fell dramatically, signalling that she was taking a few deep breaths to calm herself. "I need you to trust me on this. There is more but I am honor bound to secrecy until you take the oath."

Kaiya approached Karliah cautiously, not wanting to anger her further. "Look, Karliah. I'm not saying that I'm unwilling to do this or that I don't trust you. You just need to tell us the terms of what we're getting ourselves into."

"I agree with her, lass." Brynjolf walked towards them as he spoke, his hands up to show he meant no harm. "I need to know the terms."

Karliah lifted her chin confidently. "The terms are quite simple. Nocturnal will allow you to become a Nightingale and use your abilities for whatever you wish."

Kaiya's eyebrows shot up with skepticism. "And what does she want in return?"

"And in return, both in life and in death, you must serve as a guardian of the Twilight Sepulcher."

"Aye, there's always a catch." Brynjolf relented as he rubbed the back of his neck in nervous habit. "But at this point, I suppose there isn't much to lose. If it means the end of Mercer Frey, you can count me in."

"Whoa whoa whoa!" Kaiya exclaimed, holding her hands up to the others as if commanding them to stop. "Hold on a second, Brynjolf. That's a big commitment. Yeah, we all want to right the wrongs of the Guild, but to resign yourself into service of a Daedric Prince for eternity? Is that not a bit steep?"

"Why the worry for me, lass?" he asked in a teasing tone. "I noticed you didn't mention your own afterlife."

"Don't worry about me," Kaiya brushed off his sentiments with a wave of her hand. "My afterlife has never been my own. But yours…"

"In the grand scheme of things, Nocturnal doesn't sound that bad" Brynjolf joked. "If Gallus did it, it couldn't be that bad of a decision."

Kaiya rolled her eyes at his nonchalance. "I will never understand how people can be so careless with their souls."

"And what about you, Kaiya?" Karliah asked expectantly. "Will you transact the oath?"

Kaiya cocked her head to the side at Karliah's question. "I feel the need to remind you both that before I was in the Guild I killed dragons for a living. Huge, fire and frost breathing dragons. And I absorbed their souls." She began gesturing with her hands, waving them around to accentuate her story. "I traveled to Sovngarde to slay the Worldeater. I killed the godsdamned Emperor of Tamriel for crying out loud!"

At this, Karliah's brows shot up in surprise, reminding Kaiya that maybe she should be a little more careful with her boasting.

"Forget that last one about the Emperor. That was a joke. Heh!" she laughed awkwardly to try to make her lie convincing, but decided to instead just carry on. "My point is, I'm having a hard time believing I should get in deep with Nocturnal in order to have a chance against the man I was sleeping with up until a few days ago."

"I have no doubts that you are strong," Karliah spoke calmly. "But an Agent of Nocturnal has abilities you've never seen before. Will you not join us?"

"All right look," Kaiya rebuked, a gloved finger shooting up to point at the Dunmer. "I'm already indebted to more Daedric Princes than you could imagine, so for me it's not a big deal to add one more. You probably could have sold me on this for the armor alone. That being said, I think it's bullshit that you sprung this on us like this. It takes a special kind of selfish to try to urge two people into making a deal with a daedra in order to further your own end. I know I don't know you very well, but if this doesn't make you feel at least the slightest bit guilty, maybe you should think long and hard about what separates you from Mercer."

"Kaiya!" Brynjolf scolded, his gloved fists resting on his hips. "Watch your tongue."

Kaiya rolled her eyes. "I know, I know, she's not my enemy, blah blah. Well consider this a warning to you too, Brynjolf." Her gloved finger moved to point at Brynjolf's chest. "If you continue jumping into trusting others so easily then we're going to be right back here in another few years, shocked and surprised at someone's betrayal. I've warned you of this before. You see others for what you hope them to be, but rarely for what they really are. Did Mercer's betrayal not teach you to be at least a little hesitant before offering others your trust?"

The room fell silent after Kaiya's outburst as the thieves thought on her words. Karliah's eyes cast downward in shame while Brynjolf crossed his arms and looked away in embarrassment. Exasperated from her monologue, Kaiya threw her hands up and stormed to the gate where Karliah stood. "Now if we're good and ready, I'd like to do the damn thing before I change my mind."

Karliah nodded before pulling the chain on the wall next to her to lower the gate. "Please stand on the western circle," she mumbled to Kaiya as they entered, her eyes still unable to meet the Breton's.

* * *

"I don't understand why you're angry." Karliah stood her ground, hands on her hips as Kaiya paced back and forth before her.

"Because you just used us as payment!" Kaiya thundered, gesturing to the circles each of them had stood on to transact the oath to Nocturnal moments before. "Even Nocturnal said that the deal was in her favor! And there I stood, hearing for the first time that you were not on good terms with her and that you brought 'two more people to transact the oath'" Kaiya mimicked Karliah's accent as she quoted her "so that you could be reinstated? Why would that not upset me?!"

Karliah remained quiet. What could be seen of her eyes through the Nightingale armor showed that her brows were knit together in confusion.

"But no, we just had to become Nightingales so that we would 'have any hope of defeating Mercer'" Kaiya mimicked her again.

"Kaiya, calm down!" Brynjolf demanded, his hand gripping her shoulder so that she would stand still. "You're not even giving her a chance to explain!"

"By all means," Kaiya taunted with a fake bow towards the Dunmer "explain."

"Remember earlier when I said you needed to trust me? That there was more to this but that I had to wait until you had taken your oaths to tell you?" Karliah snapped, any calm she felt gone with Kaiya's repeated attacks.

Brynjolf nodded. Kaiya spun her finger in the air as if to say "get on with it."

She took a deep breath before she continued. "Well now I can tell you Mercer's true crime. He stole a powerful artifact from the Twilight Sepulcher called the Skeleton Key. This is why he was able to open the Guild's vault without two keys. But worse than that, by stealing the key, he's compromised the Guild's ties to Nocturnal and in essence, caused our luck to run dry."

"Our luck?" Kaiya asked with raised brows, her skepticism seeping into her tone. She crossed her arms over her chest as she faced off with the Dunmer, unconvinced that this crime was as bad as described. "Please, enlighten me on this key. It opens any door, I'm guessing."

"You jest, but yes." Karliah crossed her arms to match Kaiya's stance as she continued. "But that's not all it does. It's not restricted to just unlock doors, but also minds. It can access untapped abilities that are securely sealed within our minds. Once anyone realizes that the key can do this, the potential becomes limitless."

Kaiya's skepticism remained firmly in place. "Do you realize how crazy that sounds?" she laughed at the absurdity. "Right. Mercer stole a key that can open any door, which to be fair, that I believe. It's the whole 'you can unlock your true potential" idea that I have problems with."

Karliah's impatience rose to the forefront again, her fists returning to her sides. "I don't know what to tell you," she shrugged as if she didn't care, although her tension betrayed her. "It's the truth. The key can unlock doors both physical and mental, which makes Mercer incredibly powerful. Not only that, but without the key in its lock in the Twilight Sepulcher, things will never be the same for the Guild. It's already been missing for two decades, so soon our luck would diminish to nothing." Seeing Kaiya's unbelieving smirk at the idea of luck, she continued. "Whether you realize it or not, our luck is what defines our trade. That's why Nocturnal has been the driving force behind the Thieves Guild for centuries."

"You know what?" Kaiya threw her hands up in surrender, her head shaking back and forth at what she was about to say. "Fine. It's too late to turn back now anyway. And to be fair, I have enough experience with Daedric Princes to know that when they're involved, things rarely make sense."

"So you're still in this with us?" Karliah squeaked with surprise. "You're going to help us kill Mercer?"

"What?" Kaiya was confused. She didn't realize she had given Karliah the impression that she would back out. "Yes, I'm still in. I am still pissed about this Nocturnal nonsense and I'm not really sure how I feel about all you said with the key and whatever, but none of that matters when it comes to what we're setting out to do. These are all just steps in the process."

Kaiya could have sworn she saw the black mask covering Karliah's face shift to signal a smile. "Thank you, Kaiya. We'll need you."

"Yep!" she agreed. "So what's the next step? Any more Daedric Princes we need to bind ourselves to for eternity before we go out to face a mortal man in a dwarven ruin?" While she was willing to move on from her anger, it would continue to be an unceasing subject of teasing that she would use against the Dunmer.

"Irkngthand." Brynjolf declared with authority. "We head to Irkngthand. And ladies, prepare yourselves. This will be a fight to remember."


	54. Chapter 54

_25th of First Seed 4E203_

"The bandits!" Karliah gasped as the large, heavy doors to Irkngthand slammed shut behind them.

It took a few moments for Kaiya's eyes to adjust to the change in lighting before she could see what it was that had Karliah so upset. They were in a huge, cavernous room of stone and metal, typical of most dwarven ruins. In the center of the room, a fire burned with pots and a spit set up over the flames. The typical setup of a bandit hideout. As her eyes roamed around the room, Kaiya noticed several bed rolls lying about the fire, once again quite typical.

What made this scene different from most of the bandit dens Kaiya had seen, and what caused Karliah's gasp of horror, was the sheer amount of blood that covered the bed rolls and the stone floor. Bandits lie dead all around the room, their armor drenched in the blood that seemed to be everywhere. Stone steps led away from the fire pit and climbed higher, leading towards a stone corridor on the far side of the room. The steps were littered with corpses of bandits lying face first on the stone, apparent that they been killed as they tried to run away.

The sight caused Kaiya's brows to raise in surprise, but Karliah reacted with anger. "What happened?!" she exclaimed in a forced whisper.

As if in response, a hacking cough could be heard from somewhere on the stairs before them. The trio made their way past the dead bandits towards the sound, but only Kaiya thought to loot the bodies. She wondered to herself whether or not the other thieves thought themselves above that level of larceny. They continued to follow the sounds of harsh breathing and wet coughs before they finally found its source: a dying bandit in fur armor that sat leaning against one of the stone outcroppings surrounding the stairs.

"I didn't know shadows could kill" the dying bandit rasped as the thieves approached. "Impossible."

"Tell us what happened," Karliah urged, moving swiftly to create a tourniquet to stop the bleeding from a gushing wound in his upper thigh.

"Leave it," he instructed, using his fleeting strength to swat her away. "It's too late." He coughed again, a rattling, pained sound that sounded of death.

"It came out of the shadows," he started to explain, his eyes wide at the memory. "Just felt the blade enter my skin."

Karliah held her waterskin up to his lips and his mouth opened to take a few stray drops before he gave up. It wouldn't be long now.

"You saw nothing?" Brynjolf spoke now, his voice strained from the shock of the moment. This had not been expected. But the bandit was too far gone now. He continued to mutter quietly with the breath he had left, but no one could understand. His breathing became shallower and shallower. He managed to utter one last word, "impossible" as the life left his body, leaving yet another bandit corpse to litter the cold, stone floor.

"Mercer!" Karliah growled in her rage as she released the bandit. "He'll pay for this!"

Brynjolf's tense shoulders seemed to signal his agreement. "Aye, crime's one thing but murder is another."

While it hadn't been pleasant to watch the life leave the bandit, Kaiya couldn't find it in her to be angry with Mercer for killing them. Hundreds of bandits had fallen to her swords throughout Skyrim and she had never given it a second thought. In fact, she was certain that if Mercer hadn't killed all of the bandit inhabitants in the ruin, Kaiya would have left a similar scene in her wake.

"Uh…" Kaiya began to protest the strange turn of events, but she was unsure of what to say. "You guys know I'm in the Dark Brotherhood, right?"

That probably hadn't been the smartest thing for her to decide on to break the tension. Brynjolf and Karliah whipped around to glare at her, their eyes sharp with anger and accusal.

"What?" Kaiya shrugged, not understanding the need for so much anger this early in their mission. "I've killed people. Lots of people. I've killed way more bandits than this," she held her arms out to the side as she indicated the corpses around them, "yet you guys aren't making me pay."

Karliah's response was sharp. "What's your point?"

"My point is that I think you guys are trying a little too hard to make Mercer into a monster. He's already the bad guy. We don't have to add 'bandit slayer' to his list of offenses." She shrugged again. "I mean, if that's the case then you guys probably shouldn't like me very much. Or Ravyn. Or Thrynn. Or…"

Brynjolf cut her off. "All right, you've made your point, lass." He seemed irritated. "Let's get going."

They made their way past the rest of the dead bandits and snuck towards the open corridor that lie ahead. As they approached the stone archways, Kaiya noticed the remnants of a dwarven sphere lying on the floor. She had been through enough dwarven ruins in her time to know what this meant.

"Have you guys ever been into a dwarven ruin before?" she whispered, not wanting to alert anyone or anything to their presence.

Karliah whispered her answer. "Once or twice, why do you ask?"

"Because these," Kaiya kicked at the broken pieces of dwarven metal that littered the floor "are not fun, but it looks like we'll be facing them sooner rather than later."

Brynjolf's brows furrowed as he inspected the heap of metal Kaiya had indicated. "What is that?"

"They're dwarven spheres," she explained. "They shoot these wicked arrows and have a pretty bitchin' melee attack with this long arm thing." She held up the weapon as she spoke so they could see for themselves.

"Ah, the long arm thing" Brynjolf teased, unable to resist the opportunity. "Sounds treacherous."

"Ignore my warning at your own peril, Brynjolf" she scowled. "Just know that they're mean and they're fast. The first time I encountered one of these things I ended up running around in circles trying to drink healing potions until I could face it."

A small laugh shook Brynjolf's shoulders at the image. "Well let's hope you've improved since then, Dragonborn."

"You'll see" she warned, unaffected by his jab at her by using her title.

They continued on through the open corridor, encountering a small pool of water that was littered with shards of metal from dwarven spheres and spiders. "Damn," Kaiya breathed as she took in all of the wreckage. "Mercer handled those automatons like a boss." She was beginning to get a sense of just how capable of a fighter he really was. It's as if those sessions in the training room back in the cistern may not have showcased all of his prowess after all.

"I guess we owe Mercer a thank you," Brynjolf teased.

Kaiya scoffed at his optimism. "There are always more. Always."

The doorway into the next room of the ruin gave Kaiya pause. The walls were covered in ports that dwarven spheres and spiders loved to hide in, waiting on the next intruders. "Careful up ahead," she warned as she took the lead. "I have a feeling we're about to encounter some of our very own."

Just as Kaiya had predicted, two dwarven spheres descended from the ports along the wall as soon as they crept through the doorway. Although the constructs had sensed the presence of intruders, the thieves had not yet been spotted, giving them the advantage. Kaiya unsheathed her dragonbone sword and silently cast the Ebonyflesh spell with her free hand, preparing for a rough fight.

The two spheres rolled around the stone floor, their giant, humanoid bodies still compacted into spheres. Kaiya had learned that if you could wipe out a dwarven sphere before they fully transformed into their attack form, it was much easier. She crept further down the corridor while instructing Karliah and Brynjolf to hold back for the time being. Pressed against one of the walls, she waited for the sphere to pass by on its seemingly preordained route.

In no time, Kaiya got her wish. The sphere rolled towards her as she remained undetected, allowing her to plunge her sword straight into the metal that encased the construct. As it tried to unfold into its attack form before her, she continued to whack away at the more vulnerable aspects of the automaton: its thin legs that connect the body to the wheels and allow it to be mobile as well as the singular rod that acted as a spine. Within three well placed swings of her blade, Kaiya had single handedly dismantled the first sphere.

As she knew would happen however, the commotion caused by the first fight brought the second sphere into the fray with a vengeance. Before Kaiya could fully recover from her final blow to the first sphere, the second was racing towards her with an inhuman speed. She ducked out of the range of its first strike at the last moment, then tucked her head to roll away to gain some distance.

Karliah's arrows began to penetrate the few weak points in the armor as it approached Kaiya for a second strike, but Kaiya was ready this time. As it lunged forward with all its power to land a blow, Kaiya took the opportunity to slide past it on her knees, taking a powerful swing at its spine as she went. The automaton was not yet destroyed, but it wouldn't be long. Brynjolf then jumped into the fight with his daggers, slashing away at the chest of the humanoid construct.

"Aim for the hip joints!" Kaiya called out to him. "Hips, spine and legs!"

Brynjolf adjusted his slashes to hit the areas Kaiya was yelling to him, his sharp twin blades slicing through the dwarven metal with ease. With a final blow, the sphere crumbled before him, chunks of metal lying in a heap on the floor.

Out of breath but not injured, Brynjolf sheathed his ebony daggers. "Whew!" he called out as the success of the fight rushed through his veins. Kaiya knew that feeling and smiled as she watched him experience it.

"Head rush, huh?" she laughed as she sheathed her own blade.

Karliah didn't seem to be as euphoric. "And to think, Mercer took out twice that many by himself."

Kaiya placed a hand on Karliah's shoulder before leaning in and whispering in her ear. "Let him have a win Karliah. We're going to need confidence to make it through this alive."

She nodded quickly to agree, her mind racing for a way to be encouraging. "Nicely done, team!" It sounded forced, but it was a start.

Forging on, the trio continued. They slowly traversed the flame traps that littered the next room of the ruin, keeping to the edges and fighting off any dwarven spiders that popped out along the way. After working their way through what they soon learned was merely the entrance to the ruin itself, they found themselves at one of the iconic dwarven style elevators that would take them deeper underground into the Irkngthand Grand Cavern. After they all nodded that they were ready to continue, Karliah pulled the giant lever to operate the elevator and they descended.

After exiting the elevator, they found themselves in a small room that consisted of nothing more than a set of stone stairs that led to giant, golden doors. They paused for a moment to adjust to the feeling of being underground, a feeling that never got easier no matter how many times Kaiya had done it.

"We should tread carefully," Karliah muttered. "If Mercer knows that we're following him, I wouldn't be surprised if he left behind a few surprises for us."

The thought made Kaiya feel uneasy. It was one thing to imagine facing off with Mercer as two equals fighting to the death, but it was another to think of him stealthily setting traps with the intention of hurting or maiming them. She grimaced at the thought.

Karliah turned and placed her gloved hands on the door leading into the next room. Turning to look over her shoulder at her fellow thieves, she gave her command. "Let's continue."

As soon as the doors swung open, Karliah's warning became real. A spiked steel ball came flying at Karliah's face before she ducked out of the way, just in time. That wasn't a trap one expects to find in a dwarven ruin. That was a Mercer trap.

"Well if either of you were wondering whether or not Mercer knows we're following him, you now have your answer" Kaiya commented, pointing at the trap for reference.

Brynjolf nodded as he examined the trap. "Aye, that will be the first of many I'm sure."

They entered through the door after examining for any more traps and found themselves in another spacious stone hallway. More remnants and pieces of dwarven constructs littered the floor, a sign that Mercer had fought his way through. The thieves looked at each other in silent communication, understanding that they should all be on alert.

The hallway made a sharp left, then right, before opening up into what seemed to be a balcony of sorts, overlooking a vast area below. Between them and the lower zone was a looming, metal partition made up of slats of dwarven metal that allowed one to see through to the other side, but it in no way could be breached.

All three of the thieves put their faces up to the slats of the partition in order to see what was beyond. That's when Karliah saw him.

"Wait a moment, what's that?!" she cried in an excited whisper. "It's Mercer! Look! Down there!"

Kaiya's eyes searched the cavernous area below in a frenzy hoping for just a sight of him. She didn't ask herself why she wanted to spot him so badly, but she didn't want the answer anyway. Brynjolf must have spotted him as well, tossing an "I'm on it, lass" over his shoulder as he looked for a way down. Suddenly, Kaiya saw movement. A dark blur moved across the white stone with purpose. He was quick and silent, but she would recognize that Guildmaster armor anywhere.

"Damn it!" Brynjolf cried as he returned to peer through the partition with them. "There's no way through!"

Her heart seemed to pause and her breath waited to exhale as she watched Mercer sneak through the Falmer den below. Everything around her seemed to slow and fade away, making it seem as though it was just the two of them. For a moment, she forgot about the mission, about the Falmer and the dwarven spheres and all she knew was that Mercer was right there. So close, but unattainable.

Before she was even aware of what she was doing, Kaiya heard herself call out to him.

"Mercer!"

It was spoken as if it were a prayer, a soft and breathless plea. She didn't scream it out. It was actually spoken softer than what Karliah and Brynjolf had said when Mercer had first been spotted. But for whatever reason, Mercer seemed to hear her.

His head shot up immediately and focused in on the dwarven partition above him. His eyes searched for the source of the sound, not believing his own ears. Then it happened. Their eyes met. It was only for a matter of seconds but sometimes a matter of seconds is all you need to communicate everything.

He seemed sad to see her. Not angry, not annoyed, but sad. Sad as though he was hoping she wouldn't have to witness this side of him. Sad as if the thought of facing off against her pained him. As if he regretted the traps he set, knowing she may be hurt.

She had no idea what he was able to derive from her expression as she gazed at him, but she hoped it told him enough. She hoped he saw her heartbreak, her anger. She hoped he saw how broken she was from this. Though she wanted him to see the consequences of his actions as they scarred her expression, she also hoped he saw how much she missed him. She wanted him to know that she still yearned for him, even though she hated him for it.

As quickly as the moment had begun, it ended. Mercer snapped his attention back to the situation at hand and put all his concentration into killing the Falmer that stood just a few feet from him. He crept up behind the Falmer, sliced its throat in one fluid motion and then continued back the way he came.

"He's toying with us!" Karliah exclaimed as she rattled the partition with both hands. "He wants us to follow!"

"Aye lass," Brynjolf answered as he pulled her away from the partition. "And we'll be ready for him. Let's keep moving."

Kaiya slowly picked her feet up, one at a time, to follow Brynjolf and Karliah as they pressed forward through the ruin. Her mind was chaos, replaying the image of Mercer's face as he looked her way over and over. She had tried to prepare herself for a lot of different outcomes from this mission. She had practiced what she'd do or say if Mercer was cold and callous towards her. She was ready for his anger, for his unbridled greed. She had rehearsed her response if he told her she had meant nothing to him. She had been ready for almost anything, but she hadn't expected sadness.

The memory of those sad eyes was chipping away at the wall she had built around her heart for this mission, but she couldn't let it fall. If her heart was open and vulnerable, how would she ever be able to do what was required of her when the time came?

How would she ever be able to plunge a sword through his heart if he looked at her that way?


	55. Chapter 55

_25th of First Seed 4E203_

They continued through the ruin, crouched and silent, taking out any Falmer that got in their way while sneaking past those they could manage to avoid. Karliah and Brynjolf were sure to plunder through any available chest and continued remarking on what a good haul this was going to be, but Kaiya could not bring herself to care about the spoils. There was nothing she wanted to keep to remind her of this day.

The bear traps littered throughout the paths between cavernous rooms infested with Falmer initially made Kaiya sad at the thought that Mercer would want to hurt her that way, but after avoiding the upteenth trap, she was just annoyed.

"Sweet Sithis, Mercer! How many godsdamned bear traps did you bring with you?" she cried in a forced whisper. Brynjolf chuckled at her anger from somewhere behind her as he watched her deactivate yet another iron snare.

It suddenly seemed silly to be worked up over traps when they felt the actual ground beneath them start to quake in one of the vast open spaces in the ruin. They each grabbed for each other, trying to brace themselves against the rumbling and falling rocks and pillars that crashed around them in the ruin. Karliah mumbled a cursed "Mercer" under her breath, but that's all that was said. Kaiya found herself a bit surprised that Mercer could have been even remotely responsible for a quake that size inside such a powerful and ancient ruin. Maybe this skeleton key really was as powerful as Karliah claimed it to be.

They fought their way through and around all of the fallen stone architecture, making quick work of the few Falmer that had been residing nearby. The crumbled ruins soon morphed into a different room, the walls lined with the same dwarven metal slats that had adorned the balcony area earlier. A lone torch fallen on the ground bounced its light off the golden metalwork, creating an eerie aura in the room with its large, dancing shadows. A lone, dead Falmer lay nearby, evidence pointing towards a slit throat as its cause of death.

"A chest!" Brynjolf excitedly exclaimed as he rushed as quickly as he could while remaining quiet into a smaller room off to the side. Kaiya had to give it to the thief, he knew how to spot the loot. Golden, dwarven metal lined the walls of this smaller room as well with golden, dwarven shelves taking up most of the space around the large chest. There was another torch which added more chilling shadows, although it seemed a bit out of place. Why a torch on a shelf? It's not like a Falmer dropped it there.

Then Kaiya saw the reason. Scratched in Mercer's familiar scrawl on the metal partitions lining the walls was a message: "One step ahead." He even signed his name behind it just in case there was any doubt that it was him that tagged the wall with this message. Kaiya scoffed when she saw it, her anger rising to fill the empty pit seeing his handwriting created in her stomach.

"Seriously Mercer?" she taunted, pointing out the message to her fellow thieves. "I like how he signed his name to it, as if anyone else would've taken the time to scratch that out. Who else did he think we would assume responsible? The Falmer?" she scoffed again, shaking her head. She realized she was probably focusing on the wrong detail in all of this but it was a lot easier to be aggravated with him and make fun of his threats and dares than it was to ruminate on them on any deeper level. That would be too much for now. That could be future Kaiya's problem to break down all of that.

"He's teasing us," Karliah stated as she poked at the torch resting on the shelf. "See? He even left this torch to make sure we'd see it."

"Aye, I thought the same thing" Brynjolf agreed, joining the other two thieves as they stood staring at the wall. "But he's going to be more than one step ahead if we don't keep moving."

With a few nods of agreement, the trio continued on. Kaiya took one last look over her shoulder at the message from their former Guildmaster before facing forward, committing to not looking back any more. It wasn't doing her any good. It rarely did.

After traversing through a few more bear traps, they found themselves in yet another vast, open stone space. This room was populated by quite a few Falmer, as evidenced not only by their huts littered throughout the space but the overwhelming Falmer stench that hit the three thieves square in their faces as they entered the room.

"I don't think I'll ever be able to forget how horrible that smells," Brynjolf whispered as his eyes watered from the pungent stench. "I hope our armor doesn't smell like that after we're done here."

"Wash your damn armor, Bryn" Kaiya jokingly whispered in retort. Karliah snapped her head around at the whispering from her companions, eyes wide in warning. Her meaning was clear: shut up. As they looked around the room, they soon understood her trepidation.

A giant, metal dwarven centurion stood proudly in the center of the area. It was immobile but it didn't take a dwarven scholar to tell them it was just in hibernation. In a silent conversation with only their eyes, the three thieves agreed that stealth would better suit them in this predicament as opposed to brawn. Fighting their way through a Falmer den with the addition of a dwarven construct was not the best way to be in best fighting shape by the time they reached Mercer.

Slowly and silently, they crept through the vast, stone space. Every sound in the room seemed to echo around the walls, bouncing off the metal. The echo combined with the astute hearing of the denizens of the area did not make for the best environment for sneaking but if these three thieves were good at anything, it was remaining silent and unseen. Kaiya found herself momentarily grateful she was with the two of them instead of some of the clumsy followers she had accompanying her in the past. She laughed a bit to herself at the thought of Farkas working his way through this room unheard.

Before they knew it, they were through the room and opening a door into an area that smelled even worse than the one before. "This must be where they kept all the Falmer," Karliah mused aloud, no doubt reasoning with the assault the stench was doing to her senses.

"Kept?" Kaiya asked quizzically. "They weren't pets, Karliah. These would be slave quarters. Because the Falmer were once regular ol' mer, just like you. Much like the Argonians, actually now that we're talking about it."

"Watch it, Kai" Brynjolf warned, no doubt sensing where Kaiya was headed with her current train of thought.

"It's okay, Brynjolf" Karliah spoke soothingly. "She doesn't really mean anything by it. I know she's not blaming the entire slave trade of Argonians on me."

"Riiiight," Kaiya drawled out, only slightly joking. "I'm just sayin', it's a little weird when the only one in here to be of a race that's owned slaves is talking about other slaves as if they're pets." When Brynjolf's eyes cut towards her, she threw up her hands in surrender. "Just an observation!"

They did not get the chance to continue their debate on the Argonian slave trade however, as their conversation perked the ears of the waiting Falmer below. A fight was now on their hands, whether they wanted one or not. Kaiya jumped ahead to take the lead, feeling slightly guilty and even more responsible for being the one that initiated the fight by her incessant need to argue. Removing both of her blades from their scabbards, she became a flurry of movement at the bottom of the ramp they found themselves on, single handedly making quick work of the two Falmer that had been alerted with their squabble. Feeling as though her penance had been served, Kaiya turned around to face her companions with a half smile hidden underneath her black leather armor. "That one was my fault" she admitted without much remorse, "but it's over now so let's forget about it."

"It's not over if you don't stop talking, Kaiya!" Karliah whispered tersely, her annoyance clear in her tone. "Let's get moving and everyone be quiet!"

Kaiya gave a nod in agreeance and they moved on, getting deeper into the slave pens and more enveloped in the horrible stench that permeated the air. The stench was no longer just Falmer, but the strange, almost rotting smell that accompanied the chaurus. This was definitely the less glamorous side of dungeon and ruin diving that most didn't encounter and most adventurers didn't discuss.

When Kaiya became convinced that this was all just a cruel trap by Mercer who had led them into a literal unending abyss of Falmer dens until they just gave up and went home, they finally reached the golden door at the end of the tunnel. Through the door, the sound of rushing water and metal on stone could be heard clearly, which stood in stark contrast to the virtual silence they had been surrounded by in the Falmer dens for the past several hours. It was clear this was it, the end of the line.

The three Nightingales grouped together, evaluating their potions and healing any small scrapes or bruises they had received along the way. They were exhausted, but their adrenaline was beginning to make up the difference with every erratic beat of their hearts.

"This is it," Karliah stated the obvious, no doubt ensuring that everyone was aware this could be where they died.

"Classic Karliah," Kaiya joked with a small smile, "really putting the laughter in slaughter."

Karliah ignored her taunt, graciously understanding that her quips were a nervous reaction. All three of the thieves eyed each other nervously, and finally Kaiya's ability to make a joke finally came through.

"So should we all put our hands in the middle or something? I feel like we should have planned a handshake for this moment."

Brynjolf chuckled lightly, appreciating the gesture while Karliah felt her face morph into a small smile. It wasn't much, but it was better than the dread she had been feeling up until then. Instead of making up a cheer on the spot, they embraced into a huddle. No words were shared, but none were needed. They all knew what was waiting for them behind that door.

With a deep breath to settle her nerves, Kaiya pressed open the giant golden doors and took her first step into the sanctuary for her final showdown with Mercer Frey.


	56. Chapter 56

_25th of First Seed 4E203_

Kaiya thought she had prepared for this moment, the moment she would first see him, knowing that the encounter would end in bloodshed. She had been sorely wrong. As if a warhammer had come down on her lungs, her breath left her in one forceful exodus and she felt the room spin ever so slightly. _There he was_.

Because he either did not notice the three thieves enter or he was ignoring them on purpose, he did not acknowledge their presence. A loud scraping echoed around the cavernous room as Mercer worked to pry one of the large, gem eyes from the massive statue of the Falmer that took up the majority of the sanctuary. The statue was indeed a sight to behold. The brass image of a Snow Elf sitting with his legs crossed, one hand holding a book that rested on one bent knee and a torch in the other hand, was not only the focal point of the room, but it _was_ the room. Stone steps made their way up each side of the statue and disappeared once they reached the shoulders of the proud Falmer. It was apparent that the statue had been built into the sanctuary itself as the collar that wrapped around the neck and shoulders of the elf seemed to act as a ramp to allow access to the head. It was here that Mercer toiled away at the right eye of the Falmer, hanging precariously from its brow. Luckily, the water gushing from pipes in the ceiling swallowed up most of the sounds that bounced around the stone room, creating the perfect environment for the thieves to remain unseen if they wished.

"He hasn't seen us yet," Karliah whispered, snapping her two companions out of their stunned trance as they stared at their former Guildmaster. "Brynjolf, watch the door."

"Aye lass," Brynjolf replied as he slowly backed himself into the doors the thieves had entered, not removing his eyes from Mercer for a moment. "Nothing's getting by me." His resolve was now solid, evidenced by the steel tone of his voice.

"Kaiya," Karliah whispered carefully, trying not to startle the stunned Kaiya into doing anything stupid. Or loud. "Climb down that ledge and see if you…"

"Karliah, when will you learn that you can't get the drop on me?"

At the sound of Mercer's booming voice, Kaiya's entire body began to shake violently. Then she realized it was not in fact her body, but the room itself that was shaking. As she tried to decide if it was good or bad that she wasn't the one vibrating so intensely, the ledge she stood on crumbled beneath her and crashed into the floor below, bringing her down with it. With her arms out to the sides for balance, Kaiya tried to gain her bearings as she wobbled back and forth on the bottom floor of the sanctuary. "Talk about symbolism" Kaiya joked to herself, relieved that at least her inappropriate joke timing hadn't been broken in the fall.

Then it was just the two of them. Brynjolf and Karliah must have gotten stuck on the platform above her with no way down. Without her noticing, Mercer had somehow moved to stand on the book that rested on the knee of the Falmer statue and was, to Kaiya's surprise, considerably closer than he had been.

"When Brynjolf brought you before me, I could feel a sudden shift in the wind." Mercer snarled, his deep voice holding a much more manic nature than it normally did when he was just angry. "And at that moment, I knew it would end with one of us at the end of a blade." Kaiya couldn't help but notice a small hint of sadness in his tone.

This was a different type of anger that he was displaying for her now. Kaiya knew it well, but not from Mercer. She knew it from herself. It was the anger that boiled up inside her when she had no options left. No control. No voice. She had felt it when Astrid commanded her to kill Cicero, knowing he had been through Oblivion to save the Brotherhood, but demanding he die anyway. It had made an appearance the first time she saw the Grey Quarter in Windhelm and heard the rantings of the Nords that lived there. It had raged through her the first time she had battled Alduin and he had just flown away after she had been so close to defeating him at the Throat of the World. It was a particular type of anger that burned hotter than most, a fury that came when she felt as though no matter how powerful she became, there would always be people, places and beings that she could not change. That she could not overcome. It was the anger of a helpless marionette seeing its own strings.

"Is that so?" Kaiya replied cautiously and quietly, trying her damnedest to exude a sense of calm into the crazed tone of their conversation. "Well it doesn't have to end that way, Mercer. Just give me the Key. You have options here."

Her attempt to calm him only served to fan the flames of his rage. "The Key?! That's why you're here?! What's Karliah been filling your head with? Tales of thieves with honor? Oaths rife with falsehoods and broken promises?" He scoffed, his hands finding their way to his hips. "Nocturnal doesn't care about you, the Key or anything having to do with the Guild." After a moment's pause, he continued, his voice dropping lower to the point Kaiya could almost not hear him over the sound of the gushing water. "I would know."

Kaiya was beginning to feel as though she was conversing with the human equivalent of an iceberg. Sure, she understood what he was saying to her but she had a strong feeling that the majority of his meaning was hidden deep under the surface of his words.

"This isn't about Nocturnal, Mercer." Kaiya's voice shook as it passed her clenched teeth, her anger and frustration beginning to rise to the surface. Tears she didn't realize had even been threatening to make an appearance began clouding her vision. "This is personal."

"Revenge is it?" he snarled patronizingly. "For the death of a Guildmaster you never knew? You killed the Emperor of Tamriel, Kaiya. Or is it for the theft of an artifact of a Daedric Prince? You corrupted the star of Azura to use for your own means and have in your bag right now, don't you? When will you open your eyes and realize how little my actions differ from yours? Our actions have always been one in the same; both of us lie, cheat and steal to further our own end."

"Yes, but not to each other!" Kaiya shrieked in response as tears formed pale streaks down her dirty cheeks. "To blazes with Nocturnal and the Key, Mercer! We could have figured this out! I would have followed you anywhere!"

If she had blinked she would have missed it. The look of genuine surprise that gripped Mercer's features for the briefest of moments before morphing back into his mask of a snarl. He hadn't expected her to say that. An onslaught of thoughts buzzed frantically around in Kaiya's head as she tried to make sense of what she had just witnessed. _Did he really think she was here in this dwarven ruin to fight him just for the godsdamned Skeleton Key? Had he really assumed that she would hate him by now? Did he really think this was all just about the Guild for her?_ But the moment ended as quickly as it started as Mercer regained his composure and continued his belittling tirade.

"Wait a moment… do I detect a hint of genuine avarice from this noble thief?" he laughed at the notion, although to Kaiya it seemed contrived. He knew better than to assume she would have followed him for the damn coin. Didn't he? "Perhaps Karliah and Brynjolf misjudged you and your true nature is no different than my own."

"I've been telling them that for days, Mercer." Kaiya surprised herself as a laugh escaped her at the confession. "But the thing is, I take care of my friends, the family I've chosen, my people. You were one of them. I would have fought off Molag Bal himself if it meant defending you. But you bailed on me, Mercer." The tears that had been individually escaping her eyes began to gather and fall down her face in streams as she continued. "You betrayed the guild. And you know what? You betrayed me. The one thing I asked you never to do. I came here for revenge for what you did, yes. I came here to right some wrongs. But selfishly, I came here for answers. I hoped there would be a reason why you would have done all this, because I knew it couldn't possibly have been because you just didn't care. Because of the coin. And here I am, standing before you in a damned dwarven ruin halfway across Skyrim from where we started all to find out that in the end, it was about the coin. We didn't matter to you. I … I didn't matter to you, did I?"

Kaiya closed her eyes tightly as she waited for him to answer, but an answer did not come. She slowly opened one eye, and then the other, as she continued to brace herself for what she knew was to be a response that would break her in half from the brash and cold man that stood before her. What she saw as her eyes focused on him was not what she expected. He stood in stunned silence, a look she had never seen him wear before. Her trepidation was quickly replaced with anger. This was the closure she needed. This was the moment she had prepared for, when he would finally have to answer to her! It was her nightmare made flesh as the rage began rising and rising at his inability to say a word, so she revoked his opportunity.

"You coward," she accused through clenched teeth as she unsheathed her sword at her side and slowly began approaching where he stood on the statue, the need for violence clear in her determined eyes. "You will pay for this."

Mercer's eyes grew wide at her approach, stunned momentarily at the sudden shift in her from heartbroken to deranged. He scrambled to ready himself for an attack. "Karliah, I'll deal with you later" he called out towards Kaiya's companions on the ledge. "In the meantime, perhaps you and Brynjolf should get better acquainted." At this, he did something Kaiya had never seen him do before: he cast a spell. A familiar crackling could be heard as a red haze formed in his palm before he shot it forward with expert precision towards Brynjolf. Instead of surprising or even giving Kaiya pause, it proved to only infuriate her further. How many more secrets could there be? How many more surprises would she have to endure from this man she thought she knew? The purpose of the spell became clear as she heard Brynjolf and Karliah fighting on the ledge behind her, but she dared not turn around. Her eyes trained on Mercer as he backed away and fled up the steps towards the neck of the statue.

This was it. The fight she had dreaded for so long yet now that it was here, she was eager. She unsheathed her dagger to wield alongside her favorite dragonbone sword and continued her approach toward Mercer, who now turned and faced her with his own blades drawn. When they were close enough that she could see the whites of his eyes, she stopped and dropped into her dual wielding crouch and he did the same. This was so familiar, something they had done while sparring in the training room countless times, but yet it felt so incredibly foreign. Mercer no longer wore the look of the helpless anger he had worn when they first began speaking. His face now was drawn in concentration, his brows knitted and eyes fierce. His lips were a tight, thin line. There was only one action that told Kaiya he was nervous - a single, visible gulp that caused his adam's apple to rise and fall in his throat. She had never seen him do that before. It was the signal she needed to begin the attack.

Just like all of the sparring sessions they ever had, she started with the quick left jab of her dagger and he immediately parried her with his own. She caught herself laughing at her predictability and before she realized what she was doing, she made a joke. "It's almost like you knew that was coming."

His eyes darted to hers at the break in her anger. Hers did the same. It's as if the familiarity of their sparring had them both on edge as they tried desperately not to let the memories of the times they had done this before drift into their thoughts but with one joke, she had snapped their ability to remove themselves from their own past. It was inevitable, this moment.

"Why, Mercer?" Kaiya asked as the rage returned full force, reminded again of why she was fighting him in the first place. Those training room sparring sessions were the nights in which she began to fall for this rogue who had broken her heart. With an unexpected surge of energy from her ire, a swipe from her dragonborn sword hit its mark and slashed through his leathers, leaving a long, bleeding gash across his chest.

Mercer was forced to take a step back to keep from stumbling and losing his footing, but the shock on his face was clear. It was the first time either of them had ever drawn blood from the other and it made the fight all too real. It really was happening. "I could ask you the same, Footpad" he accused as he tried to find his rhythm again, parrying her blows and dodging those he couldn't block.

"Are you serious?!" Kaiya shrieked as she came at him with an overhand swipe with her sword. "You betrayed us! You robbed us! You killed that one dude they all seemed to really like!"

"But why YOU, Kaiya." he retorted as he took another slash from Kaiya's sword, this time to his left bicep. Blood began oozing down his leathers pretty steadily from his two open wounds.

"Um, how about the fact that you left me on a cold, stone floor in a tomb after STABBING ME!" she shrieked again, her dagger going for a quick jab towards his lower stomach that he clumsily parried. He was flagging.

"What?!" he exclaimed with surprise, dropping his hands from his parry attempts to stare at her. She raised her sword above her head to try to take advantage of his momentary lapse in judgment with a power attack before he stopped her with his next words. "Kaiya, I did not stab you."

She stopped dead in her tracks, her sword still above her head, ready to attack. "Yes you did! In Snow Veil Sanctum! I was laying on the floor and couldn't move to defend myself and you came over with your dagger and stabbed me!"

Mercer let out one loud chuckle at this, irritating Kaiya enough for her to continue with her previously paused attack. Mercer easily avoided it since he had been prepared for it for quite a while by then. "And why do you think I stabbed you? Did you see me do it?"

"Well, no" Kaiya responded as she regained her footing after the failed move. "But I sure as hell felt the blade go all the way through my shoulder before I blacked out."

Mercer continued to smile to himself at her statement, yet his loss of blood was beginning to make him woozy. It flowed out of his open wounds with each movement he took. "Do you remember what happened to you the moment we walked through the door to enter that area of the tomb, Kaiya?"

"Uh yes, considering that whole day ranks as one of the worst days of my life." Kaiya saw as Mercer winced at her words, unable to put forth the effort to hide his reactions from her any more. "The door lowered after you unlocked it and I walked in and was shot." She stated it plainly as she continued her jabs and slices at Mercer's arms and chest, hitting her mark considerably more often than she would ever have expected.

"Right, the arrow. Did you not wonder about that, Footpad?" he asked through wheezing breaths after a particular close call with a dagger jab. "That's what I was doing. I was taking the arrow out, you foolish girl!"

Kaiya stopped fighting for a moment, allowing Mercer to get a swipe at her forearm with his dagger before she hopped out of the way. "Then why did it stab through me, Mercer?"

"Because I couldn't yank it out! I had to push it through!"

"Oh" was all Kaiya could bring herself to say in response. This did not necessarily change everything, but it did mute a lot of her anger. He had tried to help her, not hurt her. This whole time she had let that moment fuel a lot of her fury because why would he have done that? Left her for dead? Only to find out that in fact, he was helping to save her life. Her blades began to swing with a bit less gumption than they had moments before.

Mercer laughed sardonically at her lame concession to his explanation. "I can handle you fighting me for the things I did, but not the things I didn't." Their eyes caught at his words and he used the opportunity to really try to stress his innocence in this matter. "And I did NOT stab you, Kaiya."

The intimacy of his plea began to eat at her resolve which at this point was a death sentence for her, so she focused on the anger she had harbored since the day in the tombs to get her going again. She still had reasons to be mad, to want revenge, to want to do him harm. "And why should I believe that, Mercer? Nothing you've ever told me has been true."

"Sure it has, Footpad." He managed to force a smile, his teeth red with the blood that was beginning to pool in his mouth. "Do you remember what I said to you that last night we were together? The night in Kynesgrove?"

Kaiya felt her irritation and anger rise even higher at the memory of that day and his unwillingness to speak to her throughout their entire journey. "You didn't say anything to me Mercer, you didn't talk to me that whole day!"

"Yes I did, Kaiya. Think about it." And at this, he disappeared from in front of her eyes. Her first instinct was to chase him, to use her magic or shouts or whatever it took to find him as he fled and to finish what she started, but she was transfixed by his words. What had he said that night?

Then she remembered. Her eyes began to flood with tears at the memory of that night in the Braidwood Inn. It was a night she didn't let herself think about often, as it made the events since then even harder. Suddenly, he appeared in front of her again with his blades drawn and looking a little better than he had before. He had healed himself, but not completely. "Do you remember?" he asked as he made a half hearted lunge for her side that she was easily able to side step.

"Yes," she said quietly, but did not say anything further.

"Go on, remind me" he urged with a slight laugh in his rumbling voice. She could see the creases at the corners of his eyes that indicated he found humor in this, and she was once again stunned by the familiarity of it all. The sparring, the talking, him trying to make her think as they parried each others' blows, and the laughing. She loved his laugh, but that was a different man in a different time. This man was merely his imposter, she reminded herself.

"You told me that I was yours," she stated with renewed confidence. "And that you were mine."

"Aaaand," he drawled, a smile present in his voice.

"And that no matter what happened the next day, I should remember that you meant that." Kaiya hated to admit it, but those words had haunted her ever since. Every time she had convinced herself that he did not care at all, those words would pop into her mind to tease her as if he had done it on purpose just to make her crazy.

"Good girl," he cooed as he jabbed at her with his dagger, reminding her that they were indeed still fighting and not having this conversation back in the training room where it seemed to fit a little better.

"But it was bullshit!" she cried as she slashed another gash into his abdomen. "Look at us! We're fighting each other to the death and you're trying to tell me what you said during pillow talk one night meant something!? If it did we wouldn't be here in this literal life and death struggle!"

"Oh stop it Kaiya, you're smarter than that" Mercer argued as he stopped fighting back for a moment, letting Kaiya leave another long, bleeding wound directly across his ribcage. "We're not fighting to the death! We both know you are going to kill me here today."

"What!?" Kaiya screamed in a pitch so high it could have shattered glass. "You can't be serious!"

"Of course I am," Mercer stated flatly with a shrug in stark contrast to her rising temper. "It's the way it has to be."

"What?! What in the Oblivion are you talking about, Mercer?!" Tears began betraying Kaiya's strong will as they slid down her face, the swipes of her blades coming in a fury of bewilderment that Mercer seemed not to fight back from.

"Why else do you think I chose you to fight, Kaiya?" his eyes met hers as her movements became frantic and erratic, a physical manifestation of her emotions. "I could just have easily made you fight Brynjolf while I fought Karliah but I didn't, I chose you. Why?"

"Because I'm the one that mattered the least!" she cried out, her blades slashing two new gaping wounds into Mercer's thighs, causing him to stumble and throw an arm out to keep from falling. "I was a good time but nothing more. You want to take me out of the way so you can get to the two that really mattered." Tears cascaded down her face freely, blurring over her vision and forcing her to stumble back a bit as well.

"No, Kaiya. I chose you because if I'm going to die at the end of a Nightingale blade, I want it to be yours."

She could not have heard that right. "You selfish bastard!" she screamed out as her blades went on the offensive once again, this time opening up his chest and arms with panicked slashes. "All so people will tell tales of you being taken out by the infamous Dragonborn of legend?!" Kaiya's voice rose with her anger, causing her Thu'um to threaten to break out. The room quaked at the trembling from her voice and the boulders and rocks that had been falling from the ceiling began falling at a much quicker rate. The flowing water from the pipes was also seeping through cracks in the ceiling and walls. Kaiya had not even noticed at this point, but the room was flooding. She also did not care and continued her tirade. "You just want to be a story told by more than just thieves! Not just a story for the guild but a story for the history books!" Her crazed slashes across Mercer's body began taking their toll as he faltered, stumbling back until he had to brace himself on one knee. "IS THAT IT!?" she screamed with everything she had, her thu'um making itself known once more.

In his weakened state, Mercer could not keep on his feet or even knees anymore. He toppled over onto his back and did not try to fight it as Kaiya straddled him with her dagger drawn. The frenzied fury in her eyes was something he never wanted to see but somehow always knew he would have to one day. Knowing he was nearing his own end, he smiled. "I'm guessing you want me to say it now…"

"What? No! This isn't a sparring session in the training room, Mercer! I want you to tell me why you want me to plunge this dagger into your heart. I want you to tell me why you want ME to live with this burden for the rest of my life. Is it because of what I said? Is it because you would rather be offed by the Dragonborn than mere thieves?"

"No," Mercer chuckled to himself as his eyes bored into hers. His expression had softened as he knew this fight neared its end. "But it got you angry enough to do what had to be done, so I'm okay with it." He smirked up at the dumbfounded Kaiya and as her face morphed from anger into one of fear, he knew she was beginning to grasp the reality of what was happening. His smirk evolved into a smile as he watched the familiar signs of her understanding spread across her face. Kaiya's eyes darted down to his teeth that showed in his smile, red and bloodied. "Now, Footpad," he began again, his voice ragged. "Take your dagger and do what needs to be done. Finish this."

"No," she shook her head in a panic "Not until you…"

"Say it?" Mercer interjected with another smile. "Okay fine. You win, Kaiya."

"No, you ass!" Kaiya argued as tears flooded her eyes once more. "Tell me why you chose me for this!"

"Because your face is the last thing I want to see when I go."

She shook her head, mouthing "no" over and over. This was too much for her to handle. There was no way her heart would make it out of this still beating. Kaiya's tears broke free, sobs forcing their way out of her.

"It has to be this way, Footpad. Now, take Little Friend…"

"I can't!" Kaiya cried out as she dropped her dagger to the floor. Gripping Mercer's leathers, she bent forward and began crying onto his chest. "I can't do this."

"Sure you can, Footpad," Mercer said softly, using her change in position above him as an opportunity to free his arms from the grip she had them in previously. One hand then found its way to cradle Kaiya's face as he lifted her chin so that she could look him in the eyes. "You deserve this. Be the hero. Take my place as Guildmaster. It has to be you."

His kindness in this moment overwhelmed her. Tears continued to flow from her eyes freely, her body trembling with the sobs. "We could leave, just me and you. Leave Skyrim, start our own life.."

Mercer interrupted her last ditch effort at an escape plan. "No, Kaiya. Finish this."

"I can't!" she cried out, grasping onto his leathers again for support even though he was the one fading. "I can't do it, Mercer."

"No matter," he croaked out through cracked lips. "It won't be long now anyway." At Kaiya's panicked expression, he continued, trying to allay her fears. "It's okay, Footpad. Like I said, it has to be this way. I hope one day you'll know why but for now, just trust me."

"Well this afternoon sure pulled a 180!" Kaiya exhaled as a laugh.

Mercer only smiled in response, his energy waning. "You should go. Save yourself. This room will be full of water in moments."

Kaiya looked around at his observation and realized that she hadn't even noticed how high the water had gotten since they had been on the ground. He was right. The room would flood quickly and they would all be dead. "Well let me carry you out of here at least" she offered, not wanting to leave him to the flood.

"No, Kaiya. Leave me here. Don't heal me. Don't move me. Don't try to save me, please. Just save yourself, okay? Consider this my last command as your Guildmaster." Mercer let out a forced laugh that turned into a pained cough. "They won't let you leave without killing me, or either they'll do it." Kaiya reached over and touched the side of his face, committing his features to memory as he laid beneath her.

In a flash of inspiration, Kaiya remembered the necklace that Mercer had given her in Snow Veil Sanctum as a gift and decided it was perfect to give back to him in this moment. She took it out of the pocket she had placed it in to keep and reached around Mercer's neck to secure the clasp. "This is for you, Mercer. Don't take it off. Just let me give you this last thing, okay?"

Mercer only had the strength to nod. Tears could not stop flowing from Kaiya, but she was trying to be strong. Knowing this was it, the last time she'd ever speak to him, the only man she had ever loved. She leaned down and kissed his lips that were almost too weak to respond, but yet respond they did. Tears dropped from her eyes onto his face, but neither of them cared. Both of her palms caressed his face as they shared their last kiss, her heart breaking anew as she tried to remember every feature one last time. His smell. His eyes. His hair. His voice. His scars. His smirk. She caught herself smiling as she kissed him, reveling in the memories they had shared. Finally pulling away, she leaned down to speak once more into his ear.

"We will meet again in the shadows."

His response was barely more than a whisper. "And just like always, I'll be one step ahead."

And at this, his world went black.


	57. Chapter 57

_26th of First Seed 4E203_

Kaiya watched as the remnants of her last meal floated along the top of the icy lake. How strange it was, that the dried beef that had given her strength and sustenance now collided with the chunks of ice, becoming submerged and engulfed by the bobbing bergs, never to reach its full potential. It was an offering to the lake that the water would never need, a soaked and disgusting reminder that in the end, nothing mattered. All of the purpose, potential and meaning ever projected onto an object had no impact on the frigid waters around it. Everything was nothing to the lake and everything floated just the same.

With trembling fingers, Kaiya removed what remained of her Nightingale hood and let her sweat drenched hair flow freely in the icy breeze that cut into her cheeks. Her tears had stopped, but the wind reminded her that they still clung to her face. Her vacant eyes took in her frigid fingertips, sticking out of the ends of her Nightingale gloves, as they gripped the ice below her for stability. They were white, whether from the arctic temperatures or from the strength of her grip, she didn't know. And she didn't care. She let the cold bite at her skin, blow her hair around her face, cut into her armor because she was lucky enough to be able to feel it. He never would again.

She remained motionless, too afraid that movement would bring her back to the reality she so desperately wanted to escape. The shock was better. It was as if her awareness had curled up on itself inside of her, hiding from the world beyond. Nothing could get to her there, she reasoned. No more hurt could come to her if she remained hidden, so hidden she would remain. But even in this moment, when she was just as much in Oblivion as she was on Nirn, she knew she would have to come back eventually. Life was never so kind as to let you hide forever. Reality had a way of sticking its hands into your safe shell and pulling you back out just to slap you around again. If she was able to feel in that moment, she would've saddened at the realization that she had experienced this before but instead, she remained vacant. Nothing in, nothing out. A hollow vessel.

"It's over."

Kaiya heard the words but knew nothing of their meaning. She was at the end of a tunnel into Oblivion and the words were spoken in another plane. That had to be what was happening, because she couldn't face the relief that poured from the words. But as hard as she tried to fight it, the awareness inside her was now awake. She was back. With two little words, Karliah had effectively pulled Kaiya out of her shell and back into the world of the living. Or at least, the world of the feeling.

"I can't believe it's over."

Kaiya felt her fingers curl into fists at the traitorous sound of relief coming from Karliah's mouth. It was over. She was right. But the relief, the relief was something Kaiya couldn't comprehend.

"Twenty-five years in exile and just like that, it's done."

Kaiya remained staring forward, but she could feel her anger quickly overtaking her sorrow. Anger had a funny way of doing that - interjecting itself as if it were doing it for her benefit. It was as if the anger knew that any more sadness would break her beyond repair, so it jumped in to help save the fragile sanity that hung on in Kaiya by a thread.

"All that remains is to ensure the safe return of the Skeleton Key."

The anger had taken the reins completely. Kaiya felt the heat course through her veins, bringing feeling back to her cheeks and dexterity to her frozen fingers. She continued to stare down at her hands, but the vacantness was long gone. In its place was an anger Kaiya was all too familiar with. The rage that took control when her reason was gone.

"Aye lass, but could you give the poor girl a moment before we start talking business?"

Kaiya jumped at the closeness of the Brynjolf's voice. She had not even realized he was kneeling beside her on the ice. Once she became aware of his proximity, she could feel his hand on her back. It moved up and down, back and forth, slow circles meant to provide comfort. A nice gesture, but it did little to calm the turmoil that was building inside her.

"We're in the middle of the wilderness, Brynjolf. We'll have predators on us any minute now. We need to get moving."

With her voice shaking and cracked, Kaiya finally spoke although her eyes did not move from continuing to stare at her hands. "After twenty-five years of waiting for your vengeance, one would think you'd be more patient."

Silence filled the air around them. Neither Brynjolf nor Karliah knew how to respond. Kaiya was a pressure plate on a good day. They had no idea what to expect from her now.

"The Key needs to be returned, Kaiya."

Karliah's words were clipped, her response terse. Kaiya's anger boiled at the tone, the callousness of her impatience was putting them on a precarious edge.

"Sounds simple enough lass, let's let her be for a moment." Brynjolf tried again to smooth over the situation between the two women, their tempers palpably at a breaking point. It was as if the air around them was sparking, the tension a tinderbox waiting to blow.

"I'm afraid it's not that simple, Brynjolf. When the Skeleton Key was stolen from the Twilight Sepulcher, our access to the Inner Sanctum was removed. The only way to bring it back will be through the Pilgrim's Path." Karliah's words were sharp, thinly veiled under her modest restraint.

"And let me guess," Kaiya cut in now, her words just as sharp. "You've never used the Pilgrim's Path before."

"It wasn't created for the Nightingales. It was created to test those who wished to serve Nocturnal in other ways." Karliah leaned into her hip and crossed her arms over her chest, bravado exuding off of her in waves. "As a consequence, I have no knowledge of what you'll be facing."

"You'll?!" Kaiya shrieked, her gaze finally snapping away from the ground and boring straight into Karliah's. "You better not be saying what I think you're saying." Her words were a warning, their severity matching the glare in her eyes.

"Brynjolf is needed back at the Thieves Guild to keep order while you're away." Karliah's posture straightened as she did her best to remain confident under Kaiya's glowering stare. "And I…"

"And you, what?" Kaiya asked, her question a menacing rumble.

"And I… I can't bear to face Nocturnal after my failure to protect the Key. I'm afraid you'll have to face the end of your journey alone."

Karliah's words rolled through Kaiya's stomach, tossing and turning with her rising anger and snuffing out the rest of her reason. She snapped.

In an instant, Kaiya had lept off of the ground where she had been kneeling on all fours and was at Karliah's throat. With one hand on her neck, Kaiya pushed the Nightingale into the stone that made up the wall to Bronze Water Cave. With her other hand, she gripped the hilt of her dagger in its sheath but did not yet bring it out. "If this is your idea of a joke then I must warn you," Kaiya warned in her deepest, most menacing tone. "It is not funny and this is not the time." Her bloodshot eyes were crazed, boring into Karliah's like a predator, the infamous assassin once again making an appearance.

"N-no. It's not a joke." Karliah retorted, trying and failing to keep her voice from shaking. "Get off of me!" She cried, pushing at Kaiya's shoulders although Kaiya did not budge.

"That man in there," Kaiya gestured towards the cave, momentarily removing her hand from her dagger's hilt before replacing it. "Was the only man I've ever loved. I just killed him. And not with one big, dramatic show, oh no. The gods love me so much that they thought it would be better for me to have to kill him slowly. One slash at a time. I had to hack away at him while staring him in the eyes, watching the life leave him with every swing of my blade. Can you even comprehend that torture, Karliah?"

"He deserved it for what he did!" Karliah shrieked in response, her eyes full of questions. "I thought we agreed on that!"

"Oh, he deserved it. But it didn't make it hurt any less, Karliah."

Tears began to rise to Kaiya's eyes again not from sadness, but from anger. The helpless marionette seeing its own strings, just as Kaiya had seen in Mercer in the sanctuary. It was as if saying this out loud made it more real, made her pain more visceral. With her hand on Karliah's throat, she shoved her harder into the stones behind her, causing a small shriek to escape the lungs of the pinned thief.

"I accepted long ago that I was nothing more than the gods' plaything," Kaiya continued, her words pushing past clenched teeth as her hand around Karliah's throat tightened. "It's one thing when the gods put me through Oblivion on Nirn for their amusement. When they make me kill an innocent or watch as my friends die. It's a torture I hope you'll never know. But ever since I've met you outside that godsforsaken ruin, you've cared of nothing but yourself. Your vengeance. You watched as our hearts broke and our worlds fell apart and even though you have plenty of reason to empathize, you didn't. You kept your eyes on your godsdamned revenge and treated our suffering as an inconvenience. Who the hell are you to treat me that way?"

Karliah's eyes widened at the threatening turn in the conversation. Kaiya could sense her fear, feel her trembling beneath the hold Kaiya had on her. In the distance, she could hear Brynjolf as well, yelling for her to get off. Yelling for them to stop. Trying and failing to pull Kaiya away. Kaiya's resolve only grew as she pressed herself closer to her, forcing her face so close to Karliah's that their noses touched.

"And now," she stressed as she shrugged Brynjolf away. "You stand here and act as though your nervousness to face Nocturnal is somehow reason enough to back out? After all this, you're going to leave it to me and me ALONE to finish this mission? Have you no empathy? Are you capable of thinking of anyone but yourself!?"

Kaiya paused as she waited for an answer that didn't come. Karliah stared back at her, her tension pulling her taut. "Answer me!" Kaiya thundered into her face, her body shaking with the fury. Karliah did not speak but nodded twice, so quickly that Kaiya almost missed it, in response.

Kaiya felt the tension pouring off of Karliah as she continued. In the smallest recesses of Kaiya's brain, her awareness remained. She was still in control after all, not her rage. It wasn't like it normally was, where Kaiya would be unable to sense anything around her except for the anger in her veins. Kaiya could feel it all. Brynjolf's tugging, Karliah's trembling. It was because she wanted this. Not her rage, not her fury or betrayal or hurt. Kaiya wanted to scare Karliah this way. At this, she felt her grip loosen on the Dunmer's throat, not wanting to push it too far. She had made her point, she need not harm her on top of the fear.

"Good." Kaiya crooned as her lips turned up into a wicked smile. "Now that we have established that, I'm going to tell you what's going to happen. You and you alone are going to finish this mission. You and you alone are going to take this godsdamned Key to the sepulcher and return it. End this, once and for all. Is that clear?"

Karliah nodded with excitement at Kaiya's words. To not have known whether or not Kaiya was going to snap and kill her in this encounter, it must have been a huge relief to hear of her decision.

"Good girl. Now get out of my sight."

Kaiya tossed Karliah to the side by the throat and watched as the Dunmer crumbled into a heap on the ground, coughing and wheezing to get the air to flow back in her lungs. She turned to Brynjolf and for the first time in her life, did not care whether or not a bystander was afraid. Kaiya had needed that. The surge of power, the control, the feeling of finally putting Karliah in her place even though everyone else seemed to kiss her ass. But while she expected to see Brynjolf afraid, she was met instead with nothing but pity.

"I'm sorry, lass" he mumbled as his eyes cast downward. "I knew Mercer meant a lot to you, but I never thought about it all like that."

His eyes remained on Kaiya but one of his hands shot out to help Karliah to her feet. She accepted, and in no time was standing with them on shaky legs. She took the opportunity to get her gear together and prepare to leave, all the while avoiding eye contact with Kaiya as if it would burn her. Once she was ready, she said her goodbyes and headed off in the direction of the Twilight Sepulcher. Kaiya smiled a bit as she watched the thief leave, somehow knowing that what had just happened between them was entirely necessary.

"Do you really feel like that? Like the gods' plaything?" Brynjolf asked, snapping Kaiya out of her thoughts.

Kaiya was surprised as she felt her lips curl upwards into a smile. Leave it to Brynjolf to have had an epiphany about the severity of a situation much too late. "You're just realizing this now, Bryn?" Kaiya asked with a slight laugh in her voice. "Think about it, of course I do. None of my choices have ever been my own."

Brynjolf's eyes grew wide as he thought on Kaiya's words. The smile remained firmly planted onto her face in response as she watched the gears turn in that head of his. "Aye," he finally replied with a nod. "Well I'll let you make a decision now, if you'd like."

Kaiya nodded, interested in where this would go.

"Would you like to join me in going home? I could sure use a drink after all this."

"Aye lad," Kaiya replied in his accent. "Let's go drink this away."

Kaiya turned towards the cave to say her silent goodbyes to the man who remained within. She brought out a single Dragon's Tongue flower from her pocket, the flower she considered a signature of hers almost as if it were a shadowmark, and dropped it ceremoniously at the cave entrance. With her eyes full of tears and heartache pumping through her so palpably it strangled her very ability to breathe, she turned away, putting her back to the cave. One step, then another, one by one, moved her closer to Brynjolf who awaited her with open arms and away from the cave in which a piece of her heart would always reside.

"You got this, Kai" Brynjolf reassured her as they linked arms and begun to walk towards Riften.

"I don't know, Bryn" she answered with a sad smile, "but I have to try."

"Aye lass. One step at a time."


	58. Chapter 58

_4th of Second Seed 4E203_

 _Kaiya watches as the water rises higher and higher, encroaching on the deathly still Mercer who lay before her. "This place is coming down! Let's get out of here!" There is a crash as another pipe breaks. The water is gushing in now, the roaring sound overwhelming in its intensity. It's all she can hear. The water has started to rise over him now, his face warping with the waves. She feels a pull at her arm. "We need to go now, lass. Let's move!" Water is everywhere. It continues to rise quickly, now up to her knees. She pulls away from Brynjolf to grab onto the floating body that threatens to drift away. "No lass!" he yells above the sound of the crashing pipes and rushing water. "Do you have the Key?" It's Karliah shouting now. She checks her pockets. Yes, she nods. She has the Key. She looks back at Mercer. He's too far away for her to grab onto. She screams his name. Brynjolf pulls her to higher ground. The water rises higher. And higher. They're swimming now. She breaks away from Brynjolf and swims down toward the submerged Mercer. He looks so peaceful, floating like that. His hair fans out away from his face. He's beautiful. Then she's gasping for air as Brynjolf pulls her to the surface. There's no way out. Panic. They're going to drown. She's going to die with him in this sanctuary. She breathes a sigh of relief. At least she won't have to live without him. Then there's a path. Brynjolf drags her up and out of the water. She reaches for Mercer, screaming his name once more. Screaming for them to leave her in there with him. Then they're in a cave. She runs outside and screams his name…_

"Mercer!"

Kaiya sat straight up in her bed, once again startled awake from the sound of her own scream. She had the dream again. The pounding of her heart reverberated through her ears. Her night shirt stuck to her skin, soaked through from sweat. Her breathing was erratic as she gulped for air, trying her best to get her stubborn body to calm down. "I'm okay" she whispered to herself. "I'm in Riften. I'm in Honeyside. I'm… alone." The familiar routine did little to get her heart to slow. It was just like the first time all over again. The panic, the fear, the feeling that she would die if she couldn't get her breathing to return to normal. Unlike the first time however, she had learned ways in which she could deal with this. _Breathe in_ she internally coached herself, _breathe out. Breathe in, 2, 3, out, 2, 3._ She continued counting her breaths as she forced them to slow, her manual restart slowly convincing her heart rate to comply. The minutes passed as the routine continued, but Kaiya was finally able to get her panic under control.

"Just when I thought I had gotten over that," she chided as she whipped back the covers on her bed to stand, "and it's back. New and improved with added terror!" She hastily roamed around her bedroom as she searched for something, anything to change into from the sweaty night shirt she wore now. "We first brought you a fear of fire," she continued with her mocking advertisement, doing her best to sound like one of the merchants in the marketplace, "but now we bring you the agonizing horror of water! Enjoy the feeling of drowning!"

She stabbed her legs into the discarded trousers she found lying over one of the chairs in her home before flinging her drenched shirt off and onto the same chair. Deciding that a clean shirt might make her feel a bit better, she ripped open the door to her wardrobe and scanned the options that hung inside. "Gods, stop being so picky" she snapped at herself as she rifled through the available shirts. "You just have to make it across Riften."

She settled on an old undershirt that she used to wear under some of her more cumbersome armor and slung it over her head before heading straight for the door. "Well, I tried" she joked as she continued her conversation with herself. With a bang, she slammed the door to her home shut and began her late night trek across the city.

It was common to see people out mingling and talking around the city at all hours of the night. On occasion, the guards would have to step in to break up a fight or take down one of the thieves that tried their hand at larceny and failed dramatically. Tonight seemed to be no different as she could hear the sound of voices making their way to her from the marketplace. In order to avoid seeing anyone in her current state, she turned and made a beeline for the wall that surrounded the city, deciding to stay close to the edges of town. It was in this moment, when she turned her back to the marketplace and toward the wall, that she heard it. Mercer's voice.

In the thought of a moment, she whipped around and ran towards the center of town. It couldn't be him, could it? The closer she got, the clearer she could hear him. What had originally just been the low rumblings of his voice became words, and those words made it sound as though he was speaking to someone in secret.

"I need you to keep this quiet," she heard him say.

"Whatever you say," was the response.

"I mean it, you understand? I'm not supposed to be here."

Her pace quickened until she was sprinting over the wooden bridge that led towards the marketplace, her eyes frantically searching for the source of his voice. She knew she heard it. Was he alive? Was he in hiding? Her thoughts raced as quickly as her pulse as she began running to each conversation she could see nearby, pulling people apart so she could see their faces.

Not him. Not him. That's a woman. Where did that voice come from!?

She heard it again, closer this time and directly behind her.

"Kaiya?"

She froze in panic. He said her name. Slowly, inch by inch, she turned herself around to face the voice. She saw a man. He was wearing leathers. Not Guildmaster leathers though. That was weird, but if he were in disguise or trying to lay low, he wouldn't be dressed exactly the same, so maybe it wasn't that weird. Then he looked at her.

It wasn't him.

She felt the blood drain from her face as she stared back at a man she knew, but not the man she hoped to see.

"Kaiya?" he asked again, this time sounding much more like who it actually was and not who she thought it had been. "Are you OK?"

The question made her freeze again. What in the Oblivion had that just looked like? Her ripping through the marketplace in a frenzy, spinning people around all while wearing some old underclothes?

"I'm sorry Cynric," she explained to her fellow thief "I thought I heard something else."

"You thought you heard Mercer, didn't you?" he asked with no small amount of bluntness.

Kaiya exhaled a sigh as her shoulders sunk in embarrassment. "Maybe."

Cynric let out a small chuckle at her pitiful appearance. "Come on Kai," he said as he draped one arm over her shoulder. "Let's get you to bed so you can get some sleep."

Kaiya felt a nervous pit form in her stomach at the idea of Cynric taking her home and being anywhere near her bed. While she was confident he meant nothing salacious in his offer, Kaiya was still a long way off from thinking about men and beds together like she used to.

"It's okay, Cynric" she cooed as she gracefully spun out from underneath his arm. "I was actually heading down to the cistern to sleep."

"The cistern?" he asked as his eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Why would you sleep in a sewer when you have your own house, Kai?"

Kaiya exhaled a laugh as those words in that voice sounded so familiar. Mercer had asked her almost the exact same thing. "Who knew the sound of water in pipes was so soothing?" she responded with a shrug. "My house is so quiet."

Cyric raised one brow in skepticism at her answer, but he let it slide. "Well all right, but promise me you'll get some sleep. You look exhausted."

"Are you saying I look bad, Cynric?" she joked in reply, comfortable and familiar with this type of banter. It was much better than the deep turn the conversation could have taken.

"Never," he crooned and with a wink, turned to leave. "I'll see you later, Kai."

When he was out of her line of sight, Kaiya let herself exhale the breath she had been holding. It was so hard to fake being all right in front of other guild members. She didn't want to talk about why she wasn't sleeping in her bed. She didn't want to talk about how she thought she saw Mercer, heard Mercer, everywhere. All she wanted was to be left alone, to hide away in her secret places where no one could find her and let the world keep turning without her in it. It was one of those secret places she planned to go now.

With a quietness only a thief could muster, Kaiya headed toward the Temple of Mara. Instead of going underneath the stone walkway that made its way around the temple as she would if she were going to the secret entrance to the cistern, she climbed up the stairs, took a left and picked the lock to the gate between the temple and the property next door. The property that just so happened to be Riftweald Manor. She turned and locked the gate behind her so she would leave no evidence of her late night break in before heading up the ramp to the door on the second level. With the key she was given by Vald what seemed like a lifetime ago, she let herself into the house.

It was dark inside the manor, seeing as no one was stationed there anymore. No more thugs. No more mercenaries. No more Mercer. Just Kaiya, alone with her thoughts. There had been occasions in the days since his death that she had ventured into other rooms of his house but those occasions were rare. Most of the time she found herself here she would head straight for his bedroom and would stay for hours. She read his books, drank his mead, ate his food, all while in the comfort of the chairs by his fireplace. On nights like tonight however, when she couldn't sleep without a nightmare, she would find her only solace in his bed.

Shucking off the trousers and undershirt she threw on for the walk, she climbed into his bed in only her smallclothes. It felt only right to do this, as clothes tended to get in the way of feeling the scratch of his blankets or the prickling of his furs. In the end however, she wasn't in his bed for the warmth or even the softness or anything even related to her comfort.

It was his smell.

This was the last place on Nirn where a part of him still lived and it made her feel like he was still here, right next to her. She inhaled deeply once she sank into the pillows and felt the relief it brought her. Water on stones. The smell that would always remind her of what it was like to be close to him, to be enveloped in him. Somehow, this habit she had been forming over the past few days had proven successful at tricking her brain into not replaying her nightmares for her. This was the only place she could sleep without waking up in terror, so night after night she found her way back into his house and back into his bed.

It wasn't a good enough trick to make herself forget what happened, however. As she lay there, night after night, his scent all around her and his blanket covering her, she was painfully aware that he was not with her. She was alone. It was in these moments that she would allow her walls to break and let the carefully put together facade she showed to the guild crash around her. The sorrow would always find her then, when she had no defenses left. She would let it overtake her, let it in. It was the only thing she could feel. The only thing she could think about. All day, every day, she tried to push through as though she was fine but every night, it all came out in sobs. She was not okay. She was not fine.

Tonight she had heard his voice. She had been so sure of it. That rumbling, deep sound that she had loved so much. This was beginning to become a problem. It was happening more and more frequently. She would be so sure that she had seen him or heard him, only to realize he was not there or it was not him. At first, she allowed herself to relish in those brief moments of hope when she truly believed it could be him right around that corner, right in the next room. The feeling was the only bright spot in her dark days and even though it hurt so much worse after she realized it wasn't him, she allowed herself the brief moments of peace. But she was becoming concerned. Every time she had one of these encounters, it was as if she had to relive his death all over again the moment she realized it wasn't him. Every time the cuts grew deeper, the hole grew infinitely harder to climb out of. She had to stop. She had to move on.

As the tears slid down her face and wet Mercer's pillow below her, she drifted closer to sleep. It was the only way she could reach it - sheer emotional exhaustion.


	59. Chapter 59

_5th of Second Seed 4E203_

Riftweald did not have many windows, but the windows it did have allowed just enough light to pour in when the sun reached its apex that it would filter into his bedroom. It wasn't much, but the small slivers of sunlight would reach her face and slowly wake her, as if they didn't want to startle her from sleep. She was grateful for the slow start to her day; too many times had she woken in a panic only to realize that she was completely fine. Now she woke at her own pace, but she was met with the reality that she was miserable. Apparently any small blessing was only given if something was taken in return.

Her entire life had changed forever, but Kaiya still followed the same routines. Wake up, get dressed, go to the cistern, drink. Go through the same motions, wear the same leathers, go to the same places, talk to the same people. It added a surreal quality to it all, knowing her life was forever altered. How quickly life just reverts back to routine. It can only spin off track for so long before it must right itself. Reclaim balance.

It was this routine that brought her once again to the Ragged Flagon and as usual, sitting across a table from Delvin. He had been one of the only guild members who seemed to understand her need for space and that it wasn't all okay. Delvin didn't celebrate the death of his former Guildmaster. He wasn't happy with the outcome. He saw it as Kaiya did: a necessary ending to a horrible situation. This understanding is what brought her to him daily, even if there was nothing to talk about. They could just sit in silence and let each other be. It was comfortable.

The only time she was uncomfortable with Delvin was when he showed concern for her. The times he wanted to discuss something that had been worrying him or some behavior of hers he wanted to make sure was not harmful. To Kaiya's dismay, today seemed like another of those days.

"You slept in Riftweald again last night, didn' ya? I thought you were goin' to try to sleep in your own bed. It's not healthy, what you're doin'."

Kaiya tossed her head back to finish the contents of the tankard she had been sipping from before she could meet his eyes. "I did try, Delvin."

"What happened?" he asked in a voice barely louder than a whisper as he leaned forward to rest his elbows on the table. "What do you mean you tried?"

"I tried" she reiterated. "I went to sleep there first, then I had the nightmare again. So I got out of bed and went to Riftweald." She paused and looked into her tankard before continuing. "It's the only place I can sleep without the dream, Delvin. I don't know why."

Delvin stayed quiet as he eyed her with brows drawn, deep in thought. He leaned back into his chair and crossed his arms over his chest, a pattern of behavior Kaiya was familiar with. That's what he did when he was about to dole out some tough love.

"Don't you lie to me, love. You know why. Now tell ol' Delvin so I can help."

"It's his smell." Kaiya's voice was so small, Delvin had to lean forward to hear her better. "The bed smells like him. I think that's why."

"Hm," Delvin grunted, realizing the issue was probably more problematic than he had anticipated. "Well that ain't good. Why the lovesickness? Have you forgotten what he did?"

"No, I haven't forgotten." Kaiya admitted into her tankard. "But that's not the Mercer I miss. I miss the man I knew, the Mercer he was when he was alone. Not the Guildmaster that betrayed us. Not master thief or the man who was obsessed with wealth or even the power hungry dictator. I miss Mercer the man, the one trained with me and cracked jokes with me, that understood me. But I guess that wasn't Mercer after all, was it?"

"Yeah love, it was. You can't pick and choose."

"No, Delvin. That Mercer didn't exist. That's what I'm saying." Kaiya argued, her voice rising with her anger. "I fell for a lie. He was a liar, a betrayer and a murderer pretending to be this sassy, smart, witty, strong rogue and I fell for it. How dumb am I?"

"I hate to break it to ya love, but Mercer was everything you just mentioned. Rarely are people merely villains or heroes. It's not that simple. It's possible he was both the rogue you fell for and a betrayer." Delvin leaned forward as he spoke to reach for one of Kaiya's hands. She grabbed onto him and squeezed tight, his words ripping her open anew. "That's what makes it so confusing, love. It would be so much easier if he were just the witty, smart, sassy rogue or the liar, betrayer and murderer, but he was both. The Mercer you love did exist and you're not dumb for falling for him, but that wasn't all he was and you'll have to come to terms with that."

It sounded so obvious, what Delvin had just said, but it hit Kaiya square in the chest like a punch. Tears filled her eyes as she nodded at him, her lips pressing together to try to keep in the sobs. Her hand held onto Delvin's like it was all that was holding her to her chair. They sat in silence for a moment as he waited for the meaning of his words to sink in, but he couldn't bring himself to watch her cry without comforting her. "Oh come here, doll" he commanded as he pulled her to him, dragging her up out of her chair and pulling her into a hug. "I can't sit there and watch you hurt. If I could take it away for you, I would, love. But I can't."

"I know Delvin," she managed to force out between her tightly closed lips "you're a precious sweet roll, you know that?"

"Well if there's not a first time for everything" he barked out as he laughed. "I've never been called that before."

Kaiya squeezed Delvin tighter before she finally released him, straightening his leathers as she pulled away. "Thank you," she said with renewed calm. "You're right. I'll figure this all out one day Delvin, I promise."

"And until you do," he smiled as he put a finger under her chin, lifting her face to look him in the eye "you have me to figure it out for ya."

Kaiya returned his smile in earnest before turning to go. While her conversations with Delvin were not always easy, she never walked away from one feeling worse than she did before. He had a way of giving her truth without hurting her that she truly respected. Before she could make her exit from the table however, an amped Brynjolf made his way into the cistern and commanded everyone's attention.

"There you are, Kaiya!" he boomed over the clinking of bottles and stormed over to where she stood. "We need to talk about you taking over the leadership of the guild."

Kaiya rolled her eyes and sighed. "Brynjolf, we talked about this on the way back from Irkngthand. I'm not ready for this."

"You are more ready than you realize," Brynjolf interjected. "You are perfect for this, Kai."

"Really? Have you taken a look at me recently, Brynjolf?" she asked as she held her arms out to the side. "Does this look like a woman that needs to be a leader of anything, much less an entire guild?"

His eyes darted around her disheveled appearance before landing back on her face. "I don't see your point, lass."

"I'm a godsdamned mess, Bryn" she whined, dropping her arms to her sides. "I can't sleep. I haven't been able to eat. I'm so close to insanity I could trip and fall into it at this point. I am struggling to lead my own life right now. I can't lead a guild."

"Didn't you say that Mercer told you he thought you should be in charge?" Brynjolf argued although Kaiya's wince at the mention of Mercer's name gave him pause. He knew that was a low blow, but he needed her to see reason.

"Mercer also thought it was a good idea to leave me for dead and rob us blind, if you remember correctly," Kaiya retorted. "And could we please leave him out of this?"

"Look lass," Brynjolf pleaded "I'm sorry I brought him up. I just…" he paused and ran a hand through his hair in frustration as he tried to find the words to say. "I just need you to step up and I am trying to find a way to make you understand how bad we need you. How right you are for this job."

Kaiya's eyes grew wide at his honest admission. "Wow, you really mean that, don't you?" she asked with a smirk. "Why the hurry though, Brynjolf? I still don't understand why you want me for this job but if it is to be me, why the rush? Why can't it be on my terms?"

"Maven's been pushing me-"

"Oh sweet Sithis, are you serious?" Kaiya interrupted as she ran both hands through her hair in exasperation. "Please tell me we're not still going to let Maven run our lives after all this."

"See Kai, that's exactly why you're right for this job" Delvin spoke up, standing to join his fellow guild members in their plotting. "You have what it takes to stand up to the ol' sabre cat. As much as I love Brynjolf, he's a tad easier to manipulate. No offense, Bryn." He reached out and placed a hand on the Nord's shoulder as he spoke, not wanting to cause any more problems.

"He's right," Brynjolf agreed. "Standing up to Maven is not something I see myself capable of doing but you…" he laughed as he shook his head, loose strands of red hair falling into his eyes. "Let's just say that if the way you took on Karliah is any indication, you'll be fine."

"Aye," Delvin nodded in agreement. "I second that."

Kaiya took a moment to think on the points her guild brothers had brought up before she continued. She found it all endearing, if not annoying. It was great that they respected her as much as they did, but she still needed more time. She was not ready for leadership yet, there was no way around that.

"I love you both, you know that?" she smiled as she eyed them, both staring back at her with admiration. "But if I'm going to take the reins then we're going to do it on my terms." Brynjolf began beaming back at her, celebrating a bit too early as he usually did. "I will step into the role when I'm ready, but it's foolish to do it too soon. Until then," she tilted her head so she could glare up at Brynjolf, "you hold it down Bryn. Tell Maven we're handling it and it's not her damn business anyway. And by that, I mean tell her that we've chosen a leadership structure but that we are ensuring that we handle it with tact and respect as to not cause a disturbance in any guild business. That'll shut her up."

"Genius," Brynjolf breathed. "Why didn't I think of that?"

Kaiya rolled her eyes in response before turning to leave. Before she was out of earshot, she turned to shout over her shoulder at the two remaining thieves. "Now don't ask me again, you two!"

"Yes ma'am!" Brynjolf called out with excitement, causing Kaiya to roll her eyes once more as she pushed through the doors to the cistern and made her way out the secret entrance. Leave it to Brynjolf to be so excited with his misplaced faith.

With newfound resolve from her conversation with Delvin, Kaiya decided she would try her hand at sleeping in her own bed again that night. Traversing through the alleyways and streets of Riften, she trudged along towards her house. While she loved her guild brothers, she found that being around them and trying to keep up the pretense of being normal wore her out. She tired much quicker and needed more alone time than ever. Just as she approached the door to her home for her sweet solitude however, she was stopped once more.

"Ma'am?"

Kaiya let out a sigh as she gazed upwards, trying to find her patience. "Yes?" she asked as she turned to face whoever wanted her attention. When her eyes came to rest on the courier standing nervously before her, a familiar pit formed in her stomach. She had been dreading this.

"I've got two letters for you," he explained with caution, sensing her building tension. "Two letters and a lot of gold. Something about it being your inheritance?" He gulped in nervousness before continuing at a rapid pace, his words flowing into one as he forced the conversation to an end. "Oh, and sorry for your loss."

Kaiya stared at the letters in her hand as the courier made his escape. One was very familiar, the seal of the Jarl of Riften marking it as an obvious inheritance letter, one she had read countless times before. The other was unusual to Kaiya. The parchment used was one she didn't recognize and the seal was new to her as well. Using the light from the nearby torches, Kaiya squinted to see the symbol on the seal.

It was a shadowmark. Her eyes grew wide and her pulse quickened at the revelation. What could this possibly be? In a panic, Kaiya ripped open the seal to peer at the contents of the letter, tears forming in her eyes as they scanned the page.

The hand that had written the words left a scrawl Kaiya knew well but that wasn't what made Kaiya cover her mouth to keep in a sob as she stood under the dancing torchlight. The bottom of the letter was signed by a name that would be imprinted on Kaiya's heart forever.

One step ahead,

Mercer Frey

She took off running toward the other side of Riften, gripping the parchment in her hand. There would be no sleeping in her bed tonight. She would start being healthy tomorrow. Tonight she would read this letter again and again in the light from the fire at Riftweald Manor.


	60. Chapter 60

_6th of Second Seed 4E203_

 _Mercer walks into the room and wakes the sleeping Kaiya who is laying on her stomach in his bed. Mercer takes a sharp inhale of breath at the sight before him and it makes her smile. He's here. She looks over her shoulder at him as he stands by the door with his mouth open. He begins taking off his boots in a hurry then his fingers go to work on his leather cuirass. "To what do I owe this pleasure?" he asks in his deep, rumbling voice. Kaiya shivers at the sound. "You've just been working so hard, I wanted to do something nice for you" she croons over her shoulder as her wild, blonde mane tumbles down her naked back. "You weren't here so I took the liberty of letting myself in." In a flash, Mercer is on her, straddling her hips as she lays flat on her stomach and stretches her arms out in front of her. "And my guards? Have they seen you like this?" he says in a husky voice into her ear, releasing another shiver from her. She shoots a look over her shoulder at the thief lumbering over her. "Of course not," she says as she reaches up to his shirt collar, pulling him down to reach her, "this is just for you, Guildmaster." With a grunt, he kisses her fervently before letting his lips trail down her neck and back as she returns to laying flat. "Well in that case, I guess I should repay the favor" he says as his fingers begin massaging her sore back. He works lower and lower as she moans in response before he reaches the top of the blanket that she has pulled up over her hips. "Mind if I pull this down?" he asks in a voice so low Kaiya feels it as much as she hears it. "Go for it," Kaiya teases back. He pulls it down, revealing her bare ass and lets out another groan. "You're going to be the death of me, woman" he jokes as he resumes his position atop her. He leans forward and places a kiss between her shoulder blades, causing chills to run through Kaiya's skin. As a reflex, she arches her back which presses her naked ass directly into the bulge of Mercer's leathers. He grunts. "Careful," he warns as he leans over to speak in her ear "keep that up and you'll wake the dragon." Kaiya snickers. "I can't help it! It's a reflex!" Another giggle. "Oh really?" Mercer drawls out. "A reflex to what? This?" He places another kiss between her shoulder blades, causing the same response from her. "Or this?" Another kiss, further up her back. Another arch from her. "Or this?" Another kiss, this time on her neck. "Yes!" Kaiya giggles as each kiss gives her shivers that force her to arch her back, once again putting her ass in direct contact with Mercer's growing bulge. He grunts again. "I can't believe you told me this so freely," he jokes as he continues his kisses. "Well maybe I want to wake the dragon, Mercer" Kaiya flirts back and shoots a licentious look over her shoulder at him. He smiles back wickedly, his green eyes dancing in the torchlight. "Is that so?" he asks, his voice husky and raw. "Maybe," she answers with a shrug, "depends on what will happen if I do." Mercer leans forward so he can speak directly into her ear, wanting more of her shivers and writhing that come with his voice. "It means that I'll take you right here, just like this." She feels his heart beating where his chest presses against her back. "Mm," she hums her approval. "Yes, that's what I want." She presses her ass into his leathers once again, this time completely unprovoked. Another grunt. "Well you can't say I didn't warn you" he rumbles into her ear as she hears one of her favorite sounds in the world, the sound of the buckles on his trousers being unclasped…_

Kaiya's eyes popped open as she woke with a start from her latest dream, alone in Riftweald Manor. Her breathing was heavy and her heart pounded, but it was not from panic this time. She laid on her stomach with her arms stretched forward, just as she had been in her dream moments before.

"Well that's new" she whispered to herself in the dark. As she looked around the room to gain her bearings, she remembered where she was. The light had begun to filter through the high windows, signaling to Kaiya that it was morning, although much earlier than she would have liked.

This wasn't new to her - waking up earlier than she'd like because of a dream. What was new, however, was the content of the dream this time. While it was a memory like usual, her unconscious had rarely, if ever, given her the opportunity to relive a good memory. And as sexually active as she had always been, she had never had an erotic rendezvous in her sleep quite like that before. An ache she hadn't felt in weeks begged for her attention between her legs at the memory.

"Well I guess my sex drive isn't dead after all," she chuckled to herself as she rolled onto her back. "I guess it's just the man who can get it going that's dead." As the thought of Mercer entered her mind, she felt her heart speed up and a throb between her legs. "Really?" she chastised her body for responding the way it did. "Oh this is just unhealthy."

She could chide herself as much as she wanted, but the ache was not going away. Her options ran through her mind as to how she could relieve herself from this new problem, but none of the solutions worked for her. No man, no. It would be a while before she could do that. A woman? She usually didn't dabble much with the ladies, but she'd never been one to say no if the mood struck her either. But no, a woman didn't feel right. No one did.

"Well I guess it's me and you again, righty" she joked to her right hand as it slid below the covers. "Just like old times."

Before she let her mind wander to anything dark or depressing as she knew it would if she didn't concentrate, she forced herself to think of the dream she had just had. That was safe. It was a memory. She thought of the way the stubble from his unshaven face tickled her back when he pressed kisses there. She let her mind roam over his face as he looked when he hovered over her, his green eyes hooded with lust. She thought of the feel of his rough hands on her naked back and the way his leathers felt on her bare ass. The way his hair felt as it brushed over her skin. The feel of his chest pressing into her back. His smell. Yes, yes this was working. Her fingers brushed over the thin fabric of her small clothes before moving the fabric aside and…

"What the Oblivion do you think you're doing here?!"

With a yelp, Kaiya scrambled to right herself in the large bed and ended up crashing unceremoniously onto the floor. She pulled the blankets down over her as she made the effort to cover herself on the wooden planks, the scene presenting a frantic mess to the woman who waited with her arms crossed by the doorway. When Kaiya was finally able to stand, she covered her important bits with the green blanket from the bed and did her best to stand with a posture that showed she wasn't ashamed of what had just transpired. She was too proud for that. Then her eyes met those of the woman who stood before her, impatience oozing from her stance.

"Well hey Maven," Kaiya joked to try to break the tension. "If I had known I was expecting company I would have tidied up a bit or I don't know, put on a shirt."

Maven's stare did not waver from the disheveled Breton as she spoke. "Since you so rudely ignored my question the first time, I will ask you once more. What the Oblivion do you think you're doing here?"

"I was uh…" Kaiya gulped and pulled the blanket tighter around her shoulders. "I was looking after the place to prevent looters." She nodded as she spoke, clearly impressed with herself.

"Right," Maven's brows snapped together, her gaze leveled. "Well this is private property, MY private property, and you are officially trespassing."

"Right well," Kaiya looked around for her things that were strewn across the bedroom. "Well now that someone else is here to take care of the place I guess I can leave. Just give me a second to get dressed…"

"Unfortunately for you, I can't do that. I have a broker outside this room that is interested in buying the house." Maven spoke in barbs, her every word nearly making Kaiya wince. "If he sees that someone has been staying here while it was vacant, it'll cause the value to drop seeing as though the security measures I've lauded as a feature of the house are not that effective."

"You're selling the house?!" Kaiya's brows shot straight up at the news.

"Yes, not that it's any of your business."

"I'll buy it." Kaiya spat before Maven could finish her sentence. Her eyes were wide, silently pleading.

"Is that so?" Maven asked with condescension as she leaned into her hip. She had just taken the upper hand in the conversation and while Kaiya knew that, she didn't care. She wanted the house. "Well I'm sorry, but it's not for sale."

"What?! But you just said-"

"Let me rephrase," Maven interjected. "It's not for sale... for you."

"Why's that? My money's the same as anyone else's." Kaiya argued, her knuckles beginning to whiten at the grip she held on the blanket.

Maven let out a patronizing chuckle as she shook her head. "Oh honey, it's not just about money. When will you learn that? Everything has its role to play, is a pawn in the game," she chuckled again. "I would never sell this house, this rare Riften property, for something as mundane as money."

"Whatever," Kaiya sighed in defeat. "Well if it's any consolation, O Harvester of Souls, I didn't break into this house. I was given a key."

"Oh yes," Maven replied with a smirk. "You were Mercer's little plaything, were you not? And look at you here, sleeping in his bed. How quaint."

"Right." Kaiya did her best to tamp down her rising temper. It wasn't worth it. "Well I know you've got to get back to Coldharbour so I won't waste any more of your time. Those mortals aren't going to enslave themselves!"

As Kaiya scuffled around the room to gather her belongings, Maven's eyes never left her. In fact, they were the only part of her body to move at all, following Kaiya's movements as the rest of her remained deathly still. With one last glare in Maven's direction, Kaiya turned to leave through the bedroom door.

"I can't let you do that, remember?" Maven spoke drily. "My potential buyer is right outside."

"Bite me" Kaiya tossed over her shoulder as she blatantly disregarded Maven's orders. She heard Maven gasp in surprise behind her at the audacity of her insubordination which brought Kaiya her first real smile of the day. Nothing made her happier than getting a rise out of Maven Black-Briar.

As she scuffled through the house to leave, she realized there was no buyer outside the room or anywhere in the house. It had all been farce just to get under Kaiya's skin. "What a bitch," she mumbled under her breath as she forced her way through Riften and past the shocked expressions of passers-by towards her home.

* * *

"Did you get a letter too, Kai?"

Vex approached Kaiya as soon as she entered the cistern from the secret entrance, not wasting a single moment in which they could discuss the latest developments. Kaiya felt herself wince at the question as the letter Vex referenced had effectively ripped open her barely scarred over wounds.

"Yes, it was delivered last night by a courier." Kaiya stated plainly as the two thieves walked briskly toward the Guildmaster's desk where the rest of the guild's leadership waited. Vex shot a quick nod at Brynjolf to answer the question that had been hanging in the air all morning. Kaiya had indeed received a letter, just as they presumed.

"What did it say, lass?" Brynjolf asked as soon as Kaiya was in earshot. "That is, if you want to share." He added on at the end as an afterthought, realizing that it could have been a very personal message.

"I'll let you read it," Kaiya conceded and handed over the folded parchment to the redhead. It was apparent from the deep creases that crossed over the letter that it had been read many times since being received. Brynjolf's keen eye also did not miss the streaks across the paper that signified it had been hit with a tear or two, but he dare not mention his observation.

"Do you mind if I read it out loud?" he asked her in a hushed voice, giving her the opportunity to say no privately.

"No," she relented with a sigh. "Go ahead, Bryn."

He cleared his throat before beginning as Delvin and Vex waited nervously to hear the contents.

"Footpad," he started before shooting one last questioning look at Kaiya. "Wait, Footpad? What's that mean?"

"It was what he called me," Kaiya explained with a small smile turning up the corners of her mouth. "It started out as a derogatory term but towards the end he used it more as a term of endearment."

Brynjolf's lips curled into a sad smile in response, his pity for the brokenhearted Kaiya showing through his downturned brows. In order to spare her from having more attention brought to her, he continued.

"Footpad,

If you're reading this, then that means I've met my end. I hope it was a worthy death of a Guildmaster and that I didn't just stumble into the canal but either way, I am dead. I'll pause for you to mourn me sufficiently."

"Well that was morbid." Vex exclaimed, a crease forming in her brow. Kaiya let out a small chuckle at the dark humor of it all, causing Delvin and Vex to shoot her a look of worry. She merely shook her head at them as she smiled, signaling all was fine for them to continue.

"Now that that's over with, we have business to attend to. I have sent letters like these to the Guild and to Maven to let them know that I have chosen you to take my place as Guildmaster. I know, you don't think you can do it. You think Brynjolf would be better suited. You don't want to be in charge. I hope even though I'm dead and cold somewhere when you read this that you can still feel the eyeroll I'm giving at your excuses."

Brynjolf's eyes glanced over the top of the parchment to take in Kaiya's response as he read. Her face was red in embarrassment but a smile was present in the corners of her eyes. Apparently this all sounded just like Mercer to her, although it was completely different from the other letter received by the Guild. Brynjolf caught himself shaking his head as a small laugh escaped him. Leave it to Mercer to still surprise him, to still have his secrets even after he thought they had discovered them all by now.

"You're the person for the job, Footpad. Brynjolf is great at what he does, but he could never stand up to Maven like you could. The Guild cannot be controlled by her anymore and you are the only one that can break them free. You must do this, Kaiya. If you care about the Guild as much as I know you do, you must lead them through this."

At this, Kaiya's eyes began to overflow with the tears that she had been fighting since Brynjolf began reading. Her jaw was tense and aching with the building pressure as she tried to force them back, but it was to no avail. They flowed freely, streaking down her red face.

"Be strong. Take care of yourself. Tell Vekel I said to give you a drink. Be easy on the new recruits. Remember your footing and for the gods' sakes, don't run away. You need your family as much as they need you."

Kaiya was no longer the only one crying. Brynjolf's voice cracked as he continued to read, his resolve shaky at best. Delvin's eyes shimmered with the tears that threatened to spill down his cheeks and even Vex's jaw tightened and clenched as she fought back the emotion. Kaiya covered her mouth with one hand as her eyes slammed shut, staving off the sobs that tried to force their way out.

"And he signed it 'one step ahead, Mercer'" Brynjolf explained as he finished the letter. "Oh wait, there's a P.S."

"Go on," Delvin urged.

Brynjolf and Kaiya shared a laugh as their eyes met, both knowing what was coming. "P.S. Do the right thing, Kaiya. Don't make me haunt your ass."

Kaiya and Brynjolf let out a few broken chuckles at Mercer's final command before Vex and Delvin joined in. It was a chorus of broken laughter, complete with sniffles and sighs that come from tears. The four thieves found themselves pulling each other into a huddle, the closest they could get to a group hug while still maintaining their sinister reputations. Silver eyes relayed their heartfelt camaraderie as smiles combatted the sorrow that hung in the air. It was a moment Kaiya would remember forever as a sense of belonging washed over her and her embrace of her fellow thieves.

She finally had a family.


	61. Chapter 61

_6th of Second Seed 4E203_

Once again, Kaiya was alone. Since Riftweald Manor had effectively been taken off of her list of possible places to hide, she had relented to her reason and decided to spend the night in her own home. She couldn't hide from this forever. While her solitary melancholy was an old friend by now, there was one feeling she had that was a complete surprise to her.

Kaiya was sexually frustrated.

It had been weeks since her last sexual encounter with Mercer in the Braidwood Inn and it had been just as long since she had felt a single urge. For a woman like Kaiya, several weeks was a lifetime to go without any form of release but yet the concept had felt almost disrespectful to her. Until this morning.

She had been interrupted during her first attempt at taming the beast that was beginning to wake inside her once more and it had not gone away throughout the entire day. Images from her dream had popped into her head in the most inconvenient of times, causing her to squeeze her legs together to try to make it stop. She had work to do, she couldn't be distracted like that.

But now… now she was alone and that ache was making itself known with a vengeance.

Relenting to her body's need, she decided that she would just finish what she started this morning. The idea of taking another lover still made her skin crawl, but her own hand didn't give her any aversion. She called out for Iona to ensure that her housecarl did not choose this night to come back to Honeyside. Kaiya wasn't sure why she continued to do this as the Nord had not appeared in her home since Kaiya had scared her away the night of her meltdown, but yet she habitually checked every time she was home. No Iona. No one was here. Blissful solitude.

Kaiya removed her leathers and crawled into bed in her small clothes, dragging the green blanket she had worn home from Riftweald Manor earlier in the day with her. She may be in her own home, but she was far from healthy. The scent of Mercer consumed her as she breathed it in from the blanket and just as she hoped, it was as if he was there with her.

Her hand wandered down under the blankets as her mind replayed some of her favorite scenes from her dream and a few from other encounters that she usually tried not to dwell on. She thought of the way he gazed at her with hunger the night in the Bee and Barb, the way the torchlight cast shadows over his face and made his eyes shine like emeralds as he smiled. She remembered the way his body felt as it loomed over her and pressed her into the wall, the tension sparking between them like a spell. Her heart began to pound as she relived the way she felt that night, the suspense and the game building her anticipation until she felt she couldn't stand it anymore. She ran her hand over the soaked fabric of her smallclothes as her need grew with the memory, her skin tingling with sensitivity as every nerve ending fired off at the contact. As she dipped her hand under the fabric to finally touch her aching need, she heard herself gasp aloud in the small room. Her fingers became drenched as she slid them around her folds, her tension growing in her tight muscles. The memories kept coming as her fingers danced along, purposefully avoiding the bud of nerves that called out for her attention. She thought of the first time in this house when he laid her down below him on this very bed and slowly pulled apart her black robes as he kissed down her flushed body. She began to shake at the memory of how he looked up at her from between her legs, his arched brows full of licentious promise. She finally allowed herself to touch the small bundle of nerves that cried out to her, painful in its need for contact. As soon as fingers pressed onto it, she cried out a moan and arched her back off the bed. This is exactly what she needed. Her fingers began to move faster and faster as the memories continued. His lips on her throat. His hands on her hips. The filthy things he whispered in her ear as she would break away from reality and get closer and closer to her release. That voice. That godsdamned voice. She could still hear it as if it were rumbling in her ear as her fingers worked below the covers, telling her what he intended to do to her. As she approached her climax, she felt herself writhing around on her bed, her hips pumping up and down of their own free will. Her breathing was heavy, her eyes clenched tightly shut. She allowed herself to say his name as if a prayer, out to the Void. No one would know. She did it again, louder this time. Her fingers moved faster. She was almost there. "Mercer…" she moaned in ecstasy as she approached the precipice…

"Kaiya…"

Her entire body froze at the sound of her name and her eyes flew open to look around. It was dark, but she could see well enough to identify an intruder if there was one. Her gaze scanned the open space before looking for any movement, any sign of life, but there was none. She was imagining it again, because as hard as she would love to deny it, it was Mercer's voice that had spoken.

She laid back on her pillow with a forced exhale, her soaked fingers no longer working her to release but instead gripping the edge of the blanket for stability. "Get a grip, Kai" she chided herself in the dark.

Three loud bangs to her front door made her gasp in shock, her entire body prickling with the adrenaline that the surprise pushed through her. "Kaiya!" someone on the other side of the door called out. "Kaiya, answer the door!"

"Well that at least explains hearing my name," Kaiya groaned as she tore back the covers to her bed and began her search for her leathers, "so that's good."

"Kaiya!" the shouting was more desperate now.

"For Sithis' sake, I'm coming!" she called out to the late night visitor. When she had sufficiently covered herself with her leathers, she flung the door open to see a wide eyed Rune standing on the other side.

"Is there a dragon terrorizing Riften, Rune?! What in the Oblivion is going on?"

"You need to come to the cistern. Maven is there. She's furious about the letter from Mercer and is torturing Brynjolf" Rune answered in broken sentences as he tried to catch his breath.

"Wait, actually torturing Brynjolf or metaphorically?" Kaiya asked seriously as she grabbed her pack and stepped outside her house, shutting the door behind her.

"What?" Rune asked as if the question did not register with him. "She's not really torturing him, if that's what you're asking. But she might as well be. She's relentless!" They began to jog towards the secret entrance of the cistern as they spoke.

"Tell me about it," Kaiya mumbled under her breath, her anger rising with every step. Their boots pounded into the planks below them as they ran, creating a rhythm for her heart to match. This was not the time for Maven to pull her usual stunts. Kaiya was exhausted, brokenhearted, pissed off and now she had a heaping pile of sexual frustration to add to the mix.

Rune lifted the grate that led into the cistern so that Kaiya could make her way down the ladder first. As soon as she stepped off the last rung, she could hear Maven. Her brows shot up in surprise at the display of emotion from the matriarch. She never showed emotion like this. She was like death itself: cold, distant, removed and motionless. Kaiya began to jog towards the sound.

"I don't give a good godsdamn what Mercer's letter said!" Maven shrieked in Brynjolf's face, leaning in close enough that he was forced to lean back. His arms were crossed over his chest, his face drawn and serious. Maven looked like a madwoman, her cheeks flush and her posture rigid as she jabbed a bony finger into Brynjolf's chest. "I said I choose you as Guildmaster and my word is final!"

The familiar burn of anger coursed through every inch of Kaiya's veins as she comprehended what was happening. She forced herself not to increase her pace and instead, take on a walk of control. That's how she would win this fight. Shoulders back, chin up, eyes on the prey.

Maven was too entrenched in her own tirade to notice the approaching Breton. "I own you, Brynjolf, don't forget that! This Guild would be nothing without me, NOTHING!" Brynjolf stood silent and strong against the gale force winds of Maven's anger.

When it was time for him to speak, he spoke with an eerie calm. "I told you Maven, the decision has been made. It's out of my hands."

Kaiya felt her eyes roll at his back pedaling. She hated to admit it, but she was beginning to see Mercer's point about Brynjolf not being able to stand up to Maven. It looked like it was going to have to be her after all.

"And who has been chosen?! I can tell you are lying! I will not allow this Guild to go without a leader!" Maven cried as her pitch went higher. "And where is this leader, huh?! Where is your Guildmaster now, Brynjolf!?"

"RIGHT HERE, MAVEN!"

Kaiya thundered her cry from halfway across the cistern, the echo resounding behind her words and bouncing them around the cavernous room. With her hands in fists at her sides, she stormed forward, quickly eating up the distance between them. Maven did her best to hide her shock and to put her impassive mask back in place, but it was too late. Kaiya had seen what lies beneath.

Kaiya did not stop her march until she was mere inches away from Maven, her manic eyes boring into Maven's panicked ones. She leaned forward, pressing herself into the matriarch's personal space in a show of dominance.

"You called for me?" Kaiya asked calmly while a wicked smile took shape on her face. "Well here I am."

Maven scrambled to keep her cool in place but her darting eyes gave her away. She was not ready for this turn of events. Even so, she did what she did best: took the upper hand as if it were her birthright.

"And who gave you permission to call yourself Guildmaster, thief?" she spat out the last word with condescension, showing how little she thought of the term.

"No, see" Kaiya shook her head with a laugh "I don't need permission, Maven. I have the support of my Guild, that's all a leader needs."

"Ha, so naive" Maven mocked as she rolled her eyes. "How little you know about the ways of the world, child. Just because you fucked the former Guildmaster doesn't mean you know how to run his organization."

Kaiya let her lips curl back into her most menacing grin. "See Maven, there's a fundamental part of all this that you aren't grasping. In case I haven't been clear enough, I'll state it as plainly as I can. We're not fighting about this. I owe you nothing. You do not own me or my Guild. You have no say, no authority, you can exert over us. Do I make myself clear?"

The thrill of saying this to Maven Black-Briar sparked through Kaiya's veins and she could almost feel it resound through those that had gathered around to watch. As the crowd of leather-clad thieves behind her grew, so did Kaiya's resolve. This was it, the moment she had hoped would come for so long, when they would finally cut Maven off like a vestigial organ.

"You are nothing without me," Maven spat in retaliation. "I can crush the Guild with as much as a single word to the Jarl. I have influence over all nine provinces. I can make it so you never sell another stolen good in Skyrim again. Oh and don't forget I have the Dark Brotherhood at my disposal should I choose to take you out if you left me with no other option." Maven grinned with malice at her threat but she didn't have her heart in it. Her confidence wavered with the growing smirk of the Breton she threatened.

"Maven," Kaiya leaned forward, so close their noses touched for a moment. "Don't you see? You have nothing left to threaten me with. Nothing. You have nothing you could blackmail me with like you did Mercer. You could talk to the Jarl? You have influence? I'm a Thane in all nine provinces. I have my own connections all over Skyrim."

Kaiya paused and smiled, letting her words thus far sink in to the shriveling woman before her. "As for your threat to call on the Dark Brotherhood? Have you heard from Astrid lately? Oh, surprised I knew her name? It's because I'm the one who killed her after she betrayed the family. Why? Because she didn't like the fact that I was the Listener." Maven's eyes grew wide enough that Kaiya could see the whites all the way around her hazel irises. "So good luck calling the Brotherhood without having to go through me, Maven."

To add dramatic effect, of which Kaiya was always a supporter, she turned to leave before acting as though she remembered something else and returned to the conversation. "Oh, and in case that wasn't enough, how about this? I'm the godsdamned Dragonborn, Maven." Kaiya watched as Maven had to grab onto the Guildmaster's desk in order to keep from falling as her knees buckled. "That's right. So like I said, you have nothing and I mean absolutely nothing you could threaten me with. The days of you treating the Guild like your own personal gang of thugs is over."

Maven took a moment to compose herself, her anger and fear showing themselves in her trembling hands. Not to be outdone so easily, she pushed back into Kaiya's face for one more threat. "This is in no way over, Footpad." She purposely called Kaiya by her pet name from Mercer, showing the Breton just how much she could learn about someone she considered a target. Kaiya's brows shot up with surprise at the name, but she did her best not to let it affect her. Or to let it show that it did. "We are not done. This is not over."

"Whatever, Maven" Kaiya scoffed as she rolled her eyes. "Perhaps it's not over but we're definitely done for now, so get the fuck out of my cistern."

Kaiya took a step back to watch the beauty of this moment with her Guild. Maven stood in shock after being dismissed from a Guild she thought she controlled only to realize her power left the moment Mercer did. She looked around, taking in each face of the thieves that stood at Kaiya's back, recognizing the resolve and faith each of them had in their new Guildmaster. Maven had lost.

In a display of meekness Kaiya thought impossible for the woman, Maven quietly turned and walked towards the exit. The thieves watched in silence as she took her walk of shame until she was no longer in their sight. As soon as she stepped through the doors to the Flagon, the cistern erupted in cheers. Kaiya grinned. These were so her kind of people.

And just as a smile began to take shape on her face, she heard a sound that made her heart thud hard against her ribcage. It was so subtle she knew no one else would hear it, even if it wasn't just in her imagination. The low, soft chuckle of approval from her former Guildmaster.

* * *

After a few rounds in the Flagon to celebrate the new freedom of the Guild, Kaiya decided it was time to head home. She stumbled out of the secret entrance into the graveyard with the grace of a mammoth, one too many tankards of mead greatly affecting her balance. As the sounds of the clinking of bottles and clamoring of the thieves began to fade, Kaiya was left alone in the quiet that came with the early hours of the morning. This was the quiet that usually threatened to bring her dark memories to the surface, but tonight she had too much mead in her system to worry about that. She clunked towards her house, deciding to stay along the edge of the city throughout her trek. The large, stone wall that circled Riften provided a service to her throughout this walk, catching her shoulder when she stumbled and helped to put her back on her feet. When she approached the backyard of Riftweald Manor however, her dampened judgment got the better of her and she had what seemed, at least at the time, to be a great idea.

She was going to loot the Manor.

As soon as the idea crept into her mind, she had decided on it. Her clumsy steps brought her inside the gate and to the door that entered onto the second floor of the mansion. With a small snicker to herself, she opened the door with the key she still kept on her and let herself in.

The house looked exactly as it had earlier in the day when she had been so rudely interrupted by the matriarch herself. The reminder of how her time here had ended sent a fresh wave of irritation through her veins but she couldn't dwell on it for long. She had a job she intended to do here. Her eyes landed on the doorway to Mercer's former bedroom with purpose and she drunkenly stumbled her way across the wooden planks of the second story to get there.

As soon as she crossed the threshold into his bedroom she let herself breathe in his smell. Yes, that's what she was here for. More of that. With as much speed as she could muster in her drunken state, Kaiya began pulling the room apart. She was not looking for anything of value that she could sell to a fence for profit, but she had her eye on items that had sentimental value. Books, blankets, goblets, clothing hanging in the wardrobes, anything that reminded her of her time with the rogue who had once called this place home. If it smelled like him, it was tucked into her bag. If he had worn it at any period in his past, it found a new home with her in her belongings. Books she knew he read were stuffed alongside his linens and the parchment he had written on was folded carefully to come along as well. She raided the barrels, shelves, chests and even the spaces under the bed and between the cracks in his furniture, ensuring she got everything she could fit in her leathers and bag.

She did not stop with just his bedroom either. No space in this house was safe from her pilfering fingers. Rugs, cutlery, statues and wall adornments were all expertly removed from their current perches to be added to her new collection. When she had finished her raid, she found that she did not have room to carry everything she wanted. Her bag overflowed with fabrics and the clanking of cups could be heard with each step she took. The pockets on her leathers were filled to the point they could not be closed and she still had her arms full with a few tapestries and rugs.

"Oh well," she shrugged to herself, having decided that nothing was being left behind. "Guess I'll take my chances."

With some creative maneuvering, she was able to free one of her hands long enough to open the door that led back out into the manor's backyard. With this same hand, she was able to awkwardly do her best at casting an invisibility spell to at least get her past the guards at the city gates unnoticed. She moved as quickly as she was able, stumbling over some of the fabric that dragged on the ground before her, but she had not been noticed.

Still, even though Kaiya knew she was moving unseen through the city, she could not shake the feeling that she was being watched. And followed. She shot a quick look over her shoulder only to see that no one was behind her. Nothing was waiting in the shadows. In the thought of a moment, she decided against using a shout or spell to try to detect what living beings were around her, knowing it would cause her invisibility to fall. She just needed to get home quickly.

Her hands trembled as they removed her keys from one of her guild pockets, the sound making her heart pound in fear that she would be caught. Even as clumsy as she was in this moment however, she was still a professional. She managed to open the door to Honeyside with no small amount of awkwardness before letting it slam shut behind her. Before doing anything else, she fastened the lock shut on the door. No one had followed her in.

She dropped all of her newly acquired goods on the floor directly in front of her bed and began sorting through it immediately. The rugs were laid carefully out on the floor of her home, some of which even taking up residence down below near the enchanting table. Her own clothing was pushed aside in her wardrobe to make room for Mercer's, hoping that his smell would stay clinging to the fabric even amongst new roommates. A statue of Dibella she had found was propped up on one of her night stands, a small chuckle forcing its way through her lips at the thought of Mercer owning anything that resembled a religious relic. One by one, each stolen good and pilfered item found a new home with her in Honeyside. Before long, the floor was cleared and all evidence of her larceny was completely hidden.

With a smile of congratulations to herself, she flopped down onto her bed and laid on her back, her eyes on the ceiling. Her clumsy fingers grasped and dragged her new favorite green blanket on top of her to stave off some of the chill as let her mind wander, but it didn't go far. She was so tired. There was no energy to think or finish what she had started earlier. She didn't even have the energy to remove her leathers. Slowly, she let her tired eyes drift closed and in the small amount of peace she was able to glean from this moment, she fell asleep.

"KAIYA!"

"Ugh," she thought to herself as her consciousness came creeping back, "why can't my dreams ever let me sleep?"

"KAIYA!"

"Oh no," she whispered out loud to the empty room as her eyes popped open, "that's not a dream."

She had just been woken up to the world from a deep sleep and was disoriented and trying to gain her bearings, but there were a few things of which she was certain. The voice was not Mercer's and therefore could not be a hallucination. The banging on her door that threatened to cave in the front of her home also was not a common occurrence in her hallucinations. The thundering voice that accompanied the violent knocker was also one she recognized who had never showed up like this before, so she knew this had to be really happening.

With a groan she ripped off the green blanket and took a wobbly stand, her head swimming a bit in the last grips of the drunkenness. She was grateful for the wobbliness however, because that meant she did not yet have the inevitable headache. As the pounding on her door continued, Kaiya shuffled herself to open it as quickly as she could manage. With one swift motion, she slung it open and before her stood exactly who she had expected.

"Sapphire?" Kaiya croaked out with a voice that made it clear she had been in the throes of sleep. "What's the matter?"

"You need to come to the cistern," Sapphire pleaded with wide eyes, panic causing her voice to tremble. "Now."

"Yeah, okay" Kaiya nodded as she stepped out the door to her home and let it shut behind her. "What's going on? You have to give me something, Saph. You're making me freak out."

Sapphire paused in her hasty retreat towards the graveyard and turned, her eyes boring into Kaiya's with a purpose. "Karliah's back."

"Is that it?" Kaiya retorted with irritation. "I could just see her in the morning, Saph." 

"No Kaiya," Sapphire shook her head as her eyes continued to stare into her Guildmaster's with panic. "She has big news and she won't tell anyone about it until you're there."

Sapphire then took a gulp of air that made Kaiya freeze. This was more than just nervousness about waking the irritable new Guildmaster in the predawn hours. There was a panic in her eyes, a shakiness in her voice, that Kaiya had missed at first. She felt her heart thud erratically in her chest as she took in the jittery woman before her.

"Sapphire," Kaiya spoke with caution, the same way one would speak to a frightened animal. They had both stopped walking and faced each other now with trepidation. Sapphire reached out to grab onto Kaiya's arm, hoping to pull her so they could get on their way. Kaiya stayed firmly planted where she stood. She needed answers now. "What news?"

Sapphire gulped again and her eyes darted around their surroundings, almost as if she were looking for a way out. With a deep breath to gain her resolve, she spoke.

"It's about Mercer." Sapphire's eyes drilled into Kaiya's to stress the importance of what she was about to say.

"We may have made a huge mistake."


	62. Chapter 62

_7th of Second Seed 4E203_

Suddenly, Kaiya was in the cistern. She knew she hadn't just appeared there, but she could remember nothing of her journey. The last she remembered, Sapphire had mentioned "Mercer" and "mistake" and the next thing she knew, she was standing behind the Guildmaster's desk with the rest of the Guild's leadership. There was a hand on her shoulder, bracing her to stand. This was all the evidence she needed to know she looked at least a fraction of as panicked as she felt. Her heart threatened to break free from its cage with its violent pounding. Her whole body trembled with anxiety, yet nothing had happened. Here they stood, all facing the lone Dunmer who looked back at them with equal measures worry and fear, yet not a word had been spoken.

"If you don't start talking soon, Kaiya's going to erupt." Brynjolf spoke, his words grazing past Kaiya's ear. He must be the one with his hand on her shoulder.

"Yes, please" Vex cut in, "tell us already so we can start feeding her drinks."

Karliah's eyes cautiously took in each thief before her before they settled on the floor, unable to linger on Kaiya's frazzled form for long. "Maybe she should sit down.."

"Just say it!" Kaiya snapped, her eyes open as wide as they could go.

"Okay, fine" Karliah relented, her gaze once again locking onto the floor. "I'll start from the beginning."

She paused and the tension vibrated through the waiting thieves with their every breath, yet no one dared to speak lest they disrupt Karliah's attention.

"When I went to the Twilight Sepulcher to return the Skeleton Key," she spoke meekly, the thieves leaning in to pick up her soft words, "I had a conversation with Gallus." At this, she looked up, finally braving the eager glares from her fellow guild members.

"After he got over the initial shock that I was still alive, he asked me why I was there. I explained that I was returning the Key that Mercer Frey had stolen. He was not surprised by that. He asked what became of Mercer. I told him that Mercer was dead." She paused again, taking a deep breath through her nose to steady her nerves.

"Then he asked what became of Maven Black-Briar."

"Maven!?" Delvin jumped in now, surprise reverberating throughout him. "He barely knew Maven. Why did he…."

"Because Maven was the one behind it all." Karliah stated plainly, her posture straightening to do its best to reinforce her failing confidence.

At once, the thieves shot glances around to each other, no one brave enough to speak their thoughts aloud.

"I asked him to explain," Karliah continued, her voice wavering. "He said that he had caught on to Mercer's exploits but after doing some digging, he was able to uncover that Mercer had been doing Maven's bidding. And that while Mercer's actions were atrocious, they were nothing more than those of a thrall."

Silence fell over the crowd of thieves as Karliah's words found purchase in their understanding. "It can't be…" Brynjolf muttered. "Why wouldn't he have told us?"

"I asked the same thing," Karliah answered. "But Gallus told me that it was not his place to know as there was no way he could remember everything that had happened. He said that if I could retrieve his journal, more answers would be there."

"His journal!" Kaiya shrieked, startling everyone around her. "Did you get it back from Enthir?! What's it say?"

"I did," Karliah nodded as she spoke and pulled out a tattered brown journal from her pack. "And Gallus was right. There were more answers."

"Well don't just stand there, love" Delvin urged "tell us what it says!"

Karliah opened the journal and began scanning through it, not reading it, but taking the opportunity to let her eyes rest on anything except for the thieves. "It starts with his suspicions of Mercer's actions. How he caught Mercer creeping around by the vaults one night and that he was spending an exorbitant amount of coin. He goes on to say that Mercer's attitude toward him began to sour, treating him as though his intentions with me were less than honorable."

"His intentions toward you?" Brynjolf asked in disbelief. "Mercer thought that Gallus's intentions toward you and your relationship weren't good?"

"Yes," Karliah answered, her voice taking on a much meeker quality than it had before. "Gallus learned that Mercer knew a very important bit of information about me that I wasn't even aware of back then, and he guessed that this information was why Mercer was suspicious, so he let it slide."

"And what information is this?" Kaiya asked bluntly. "No more secrets, Karliah."

Karliah's eyes swept up off the page of the journal she held and met Kaiya's. Kaiya felt her breathing catch in her throat at the emotion that poured out of her glare, the glistening violet as her eyes filled with tears.

"I'm the granddaughter of Queen Barenziah," Karliah admitted. "I would have a bid for the throne of Morrowind."

Shocked silence bounced around the leaders of the Guild at Karliah's confession. Gallus wasn't wrong, that was some pretty important information.

"So Gallus found out that Mercer knew about your ancestry," Delvin thought out loud, trying to make sense of it all, "and figured that's why Mercer had been so skeptical about his intentions with you. He thought that Mercer assumed he wasn't interested in you and was instead after the throne."

"Yes," Karliah answered. "But there's more. Gallus goes on to describe Mercer's overprotective nature of me in detail. How Mercer always offered to go on heists with me so I wasn't alone and made sure my jobs were safe."

"So where's Maven come into all this?" Vex spat out with her arms crossed over her chest. "This is sweet and all, but it doesn't explain why he did what he did."

"The journal goes on to explain that as Mercer's attitude toward him got worse, he learned that Mercer had been spending quite a bit of time with a new woman in town, Maven Black-Briar." Karliah explained and watched as all the thieves' brows shot up at this admission. "He then was able to put enough evidence together that he deduced that Maven was manipulating Mercer. He warned Mercer to be careful with Maven, but Mercer of course responded 'she said you'd say that!' just like a manipulated man would."

A laugh burst forth from Delvin at this, shocking his fellow thieves with his inappropriate response. "No wonder he was so scared of you, love" he directed his statement towards Kaiya. "The last time he had trusted a woman it was Maven bloody Black-Briar."

"Anyway," Karliah continued, growing tired of the interruptions. "This is when Gallus started noticing some of the money had begun to go missing. Mercer's behavior was sketchy at best, the coffers were being skimmed and suspiciously enough, a certain Black-Briar family was beginning to grow very wealthy."

"Gross," Vex groaned. "Bad form, Mercer."

"He couldn't figure out how Mercer was getting into the vaults, though" Karliah went on. "He finally let himself come to the conclusion that Mercer had stolen the Skeleton Key, the one he had sworn to protect. Knowing better than to confront Mercer, Gallus decided that he would first confront Maven, which did not go well. Then, the journal ends with Gallus planning to meet Mercer at Snow Veil Sanctum."

At this, the thieves fell silent once more. Whether it be in reverence or in shock from the reminder that this wasn't just an entertaining story, it didn't matter. The silence permeated through the space until Brynjolf finally decided to break it.

"So Mercer was manipulated by Maven all along. Doesn't make him innocent, though."

"No, it doesn't" Vex snapped. "So what? Maven's backstabbing, power hungry bitch that convinced Mercer to do some dumb shit. Doesn't mean he's innocent."

"I think you're missing a very important element to this, Vex" Karliah interjected. "Mercer was manipulated into thinking that Gallus was a threat to me. He wasn't doing all of this just for riches and to earn the love of a new woman, he was doing this to try to bring Gallus down in an attempt to protect me."

"Because he loved you," Kaiya said flatly, her eyes on the ground.

"No," Karliah argued, shaking her head. "Because he had loved my mother."

"What?!" Kaiya's head snapped up Karliah's words. "What are you talking about!?"

Karliah sighed with impatience. "That's also in Gallus's journal, but I didn't think it important to bring up. Yes, Mercer had a relationship with my mother, Dralsi, who had also been in the Guild. When I joined later, she made Mercer promise that he would take care of me and that is what he tried to do."

Silence.

"Don't you see?!" Karliah exclaimed, her hands flying in the air in exasperation. "Mercer looked after me and was manipulated by Maven into thinking that Gallus was only after me for my crown when all along, she was the one with plans to gain control of me. If Maven got Gallus out of the way and was able to make Mercer her puppet Guildmaster, then she would have full control over the heir to the throne of Morrowind. Who knows what she could've done with that type of opportunity!"

A memory flashed into Kaiya's mind as Karliah explained the sick motives behind the matron. _She collects people in powerful positions._ That's what Mercer had said about Maven. A chill worked its way through Kaiya's nerves, bringing a shudder out of her at the thought. At the time Kaiya had assumed he only meant thanes or stewards or Jarls, not Morrowind royalty.

"Why wouldn't he have told us this, though?" Vex asked. "I get what you're saying, but why wouldn't he have told us?"

"When, exactly, would have been a good time for that, love?" Delvin asked in response. "After he killed Gallus when he realized he had been duped? When Karliah was on the run from us? What could he have done? It seems clear to me that Mercer did what he felt he had to after he realized the mistake he had made. Maven was after Karliah. With Karliah on the run, she was safe. With Karliah returning to the Guild, she would forever be in danger as long as Maven was still around."

"Not to mention the blackmail she had on him after he killed Gallus," Brynjolf agreed, his eyes growing wide with his understanding. "She owned him after that. All she had to do was threaten to tell his little secrets to his Guild and he would have done whatever she asked."

"Well if he's such a hero," Vex spat with as much disdain in the word 'hero' as she could muster, "then why didn't he just confess to the Guild and take the consequences?"

"Think about it, Vex" Delvin answered in his calmest tone. "Do you remember how we told you we searched for Karliah for years after the death of Gallus? With Mercer leading the charge, he could make sure he kept everyone off her trail. With someone else in charge, Karliah would be in much more danger with the pressure from Maven to find her. With Mercer in charge, he could convince Maven that he was trying as hard as he could to prevent her from hiring her own thugs but he could also protect Karliah the best he could. Keeping her on the run was for her own good."

At this, sniffling could be heard coming from the Dunmer. She was crying. "He tried to tell me," Karliah confessed, sobs cracking her voice. "He tried to tell me this last time in Snow Veil Sanctum when he was with Kaiya, but I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to listen to a thing he said."

"It's okay," Brynjolf cooed as he put a hand on her shoulder. "You thought he was a betrayer."

"I'm still confused," Vex cut in, disregarding Karliah's emotional moment. "When Karliah came back into the picture, why did he flee then? Why didn't he just tell us?"

"Because he realized I wouldn't stop" Karliah sobbed. "He knew I wasn't intending to just go my own way and be free like he had hoped. He knew I would not give up until I had my revenge."

"So he fled?" Vex scoffed. "Coward."

"No, not coward," Delvin corrected. "Leader. He sacrificed himself so that we could be free of Maven once and for all. He knew that was the only way out. If he stayed in charge, Maven would always be a threat. If he was out of the picture, Maven would have no one else to manipulate. Why else do you think he pushed so hard to have Kaiya put in as Guildmaster? She was the only one that could stand up to Maven. Finally, someone was powerful enough to rid the Guild of Maven's influence."

"So why'd he cut out with the Key then? Why didn't he just leave it in his nightstand or something?" Vex asked, still skeptical.

"Because we had to hunt him," Karliah explained. "He needed to die. That was the only way to save the Guild."

"His redemption," Kaiya whispered under her breath but her fellow thieves heard her loud and clear. "That's why he kept telling me it had to be that way. He knew I would never have stepped up as Guildmaster had he lived. He knew that was the only way for all of us to move on. For me to move on."

Tears flowed in streams down Kaiya's face at the revelation. "Well so much for the healing process," she joked as she sobbed. "This is it, the final straw that pushes me straight into crazy." Delvin draped an arm around her shoulders as the news continued to jab into her with each new revelation.

"I'm not finished," Karliah stated calmly, her eyes on Kaiya's broken frame.

"Oh great!" Kaiya laughed as she continued to sob, "I don't know if I can take anymore Karliah. I just found out that I personally killed the only man I ever loved for crimes he committed to keep the Guild safe. To protect us. He is floating in that damn sanctuary right now because of my actions!"

"But that's the thing," Karliah cut in with excitement in her voice. "He's not there."

Silence. Stunned glances. Shaky knees.

"What did you just say?" Kaiya managed to croak out. "Where is he, Karliah?"

"I don't know," Karliah admitted. "After I spoke with Gallus and got the journal back from Enthir, I decided to go to the sanctuary to pay my respects. If I could manage, I was going to try to pull him out so we could give him a proper burial. That's the least I could do."

"Go on…" Delvin urged as all four members of the Guild's leadership leaned forward towards Karliah to hear what she had to say next.

"He wasn't there." Karliah said again, her eyes staring into her companions'. "Did you actually check to see if he was dead, Kaiya?"

"No, but I watched him fade." Kaiya spoke cautiously, her words clipped with tension. "What are you saying, Karliah?"

"I'm saying there is a possibility that he made it out alive."

The next thing Kaiya knew, she was being picked up off of the damp, stone floor of the cistern. There were a few distant voices asking if she was okay, but she did not care to answer them. All she could think about was getting home to pack. _Mercer could be alive._ The thought pounded in her head like a warhammer, knocking all other thoughts to the side. _Mercer could be alive._ She had to go find him.

"I have to go," she managed to force out as she ran for the exit. A few cries rang out behind her to wait or to stay, but she disregarded them with ease. _Mercer could be alive._ There was only one thought that her mind had room for. _Mercer could be alive._ Nothing else mattered. _Mercer could be alive._ She had to find him.

The distance between the graveyard and her home blurred as she ran as fast as her legs would take her. The cool, early morning air stung at her lungs as she heaved heavy gulps to keep her going. Tears crept out the corners of her eyes and flew behind her, whether from the cold or the emotion she did not know. Finally, she reached her home and tore open the front door with a strength she didn't know she had. She grabbed her pack and raced toward her bedroom, slinging whatever she could find into it. Potions, books, weapons, it didn't matter. She had to go. _Mercer could be alive_.

"Insatiable, are we?"

His voice. Behind her. Her heart stopped. It couldn't be. This was another of her brain's cruel tricks.

"How did I know the first place you would look for me would be in your bedroom, Footpad?"


	63. Chapter 63

_7th of Second Seed 4E203_

 _This isn't real_.

Kaiya tried to coax herself back over the line into sanity. _This has happened before and he is never there_. She had really lost it this time, just as she thought she would. So this was it, what it felt like to lose touch with reality. There was no way the voice behind her was really Mercer. Too many times had she been fooled by her hallucinations. It had never been him before, what made her think it would be him now?

Inch by inch, she slowly turned to face where the voice had come from. She was terrified to face the disappointment she would feel when he was not standing in her bedroom, but she had to see for herself. She kept her eyes closed tightly until she had turned completely around and once she was confident she faced the direction the voice had come from, she took a deep breath and decided it was time to look.

Her left eye opened first. She could see a dark figure standing in the shadows cast by the sconces in her home. The shock that came with actually seeing something as opposed to the nothing she expected caused her to snap her other eye open wide to take it all in.

And it was Mercer.

There he stood, only a few steps away from her. She blinked. He looked the same as he always did, his dark Guildmaster leathers fitting snugly to his lithe form as his arms crossed over his broad chest. His dark hair was brushed back so that it didn't get in his eyes. _His eyes_. They were staring back at her, just as they always had, once again the green shining out in contrast to the rest of his shadow. Familiar crinkles at the corners made her heart speed up its rhythm. _He was smiling_. Well, not smiling, but his oh so familiar smirk was firmly in place. It was exactly as she had envisioned him when she reminisced over the past few weeks, which gave her all the more reason to question her judgment.

Instead of running and jumping into his arms as she had imagined herself doing if this moment were to ever happen, she approached him with caution. It was as if she feared that if she were to move too quickly, the apparition would fade. His eyes stayed on her as she approached, the endearing smirk growing more amused at her hesitance. She needed to touch him. That's how she would know.

A trembling hand reached up with a life of its own to graze his face. At the contact, she jumped. She had not expected a solid form! Her surprise brought a chuckle out of Mercer, the sound causing Kaiya to close her eyes for a moment to relish in it. She brought her hand back to his face and let her nervous fingers trace along the lines of his cheek. The stubble that pricked at her fingertips brought a small smile into view on her face. It was just as she remembered.

Her fingers continued, brushing over his jaw and around to this chin before landing on his lips. She stared at them intensely, her brows drawn in so tight that she appeared almost angry. Mercer let her continue her exploration but could no longer stand still. He ran his fingers through her wild, blonde mane and let them rest on the nape of her neck, holding her in place. She continued to skim her fingers along his mouth, becoming transfixed on the scar that ran across his lower lip. It was the exact same as it had been, the way it looked, the way it felt. There was no way her hallucination could be this detailed.

Her eyes traced upward until they met his. Tears had begun to form in hers, distorting her vision, yet she could still see him. His eyes, they were so real. In them she saw so much yearning, so much pain, so much tenderness. This could not be an apparition. An apparition would never look at her like that.

"Mercer! It's you!" she exclaimed, breaking the silence that had hung between them during her exploration. In an instant, she leaped up to wrap her arms around his neck in an embrace that felt much more fitting of their reunion. Mercer's arms wrapped tightly around her in response, holding her to him in a grip that caused breathing to become slightly difficult for the tiny Breton. He buried his face into her neck and breathed her in before letting out a chuckle at her reaction.

"Well yeah, it's me" he joked "were you expecting someone else?"

"I didn't think you were real" she admitted as she let herself cry into his shoulder. "I still haven't completely decided if it's you or if I'm just crazy but if this is a dream, then sweet Sithis please let this be the one that takes me."

Mercer exhaled a laugh into her hair. "It's really me, Footpad. I'm not a ghost."

"I didn't think you were a ghost!" Kaiya exclaimed. "I thought you were a hallucination! I've been going crazy Mercer. I thought I saw you everywhere, heard you everywhere."

Mercer relented and let his smile take over his entire face at her admission. "Well it's me now." He set her back on her feet and pulled back slightly to show her the necklace he wore. "See? This is the amulet you gave me. It saved my life, Footpad."

Kaiya let one hand trail over the chain and the pendant that hung around Mercer's neck, recognizing it as the necklace she hooked around his neck right before the moment she had assumed was his death. "And to think, I said it was a useless enchantment when you first gave it to me."

"Who knew waterbreathing was so essential?" Mercer joked as he rested his forehead against hers, letting himself be present in the moment. Kaiya entwined her fingers behind Mercer's neck as they stood in silence, each grinning with smiles that took up their faces.

Suddenly however, Kaiya decided it was time for retribution. In an instant, she went from one half of an emotional embrace to the force behind a slap across Mercer's cheek. It wasn't a hard slap, but it was enough to snap Mercer out of his blissful happiness and back into the reality of what it meant to be around Kaiya.

"What in the Oblivion, Kaiya?" he shrieked as one of his hands touched his face where her hand had just been.

"That's for leaving me alone!" Kaiya cried out, a finger pointing in Mercer's confused face. "And not telling me what was going on! We could've figured another way you stubborn ass!" She was screaming now, tears escaping out of the corners of her eyes.

Mercer reacted quickly, catching both of Kaiya's flailing hands in his and holding them to his chest. "I know, Footpad. I know. I guess I deserved that."

"Yes you deserved it! Do you have any idea how hard the past few weeks have been!?" She continued her tirade but now that she had no free hands to swing around to let out her anger, she was forced to rely on the tears that streamed down her red cheeks. She let her forehead fall onto his chest in exasperation. "I had to live knowing I had killed you! Knowing that floating around in that godsdamned sanctuary was the only man I've ever loved!"

He was quiet for a moment and just let her get it all out. He knew he couldn't fight back. This was an inevitable conversation he had expected upon his return to Riften. Once her crying slowed and her arguing ceased, he felt her grow limp against him. She was done. He took a finger and lifted her chin so that she looked directly into his eyes.

"Loved, huh?"

"Yes, you idiot!" Kaiya jerked one hand away and smacked him on the chest.

"Is that loved as in the past or is that still the case?"

Kaiya exhaled an annoyed sigh at his line of questioning. Of course out of everything she said in her rant he would focus on that one word. "As in it's still the case, you ass! Now let's forget I said that okay? I need to keep my upper hand with you."

A smile broke out across Mercer's face as he watched her cheeks redden with embarrassment when she looked away. Once again, he used his fingers under her chin to bring her gaze back up to meet his. "Feeling's mutual, Footpad." His smile grew even wider as he watched her eyes widen at his confession. "But if you tell anyone I said that, I'll deny it."

Kaiya's lips curled up to match Mercer's grin as they stared at each other. "It'll be our little secret." And with that, she lifted up onto her toes and pressed her lips to his.

Oh, how she had missed this. Nothing else could ever compare. She could feel him smiling against her lips as her hands tangled in his messy, dark hair. Once her fingers were combing through it, she realized it was slightly longer than it had been the last time she had done this. His arms wrapped around her and hoisted her up against him, her feet no longer touching the ground. "You still have to say you're sorry," she declared with a smile once his kisses had begun trailing down her jaw and neck. He stopped abruptly and lifted his head so their eyes met once more, his forehead pressing into hers.

"I know that I could've done better," he admitted. "You don't have to worry about anything like that ever happening again."

"And…" she urged, not able to keep the smile from her voice.

"And I'm sorry," he apologized with earnest. "But trust me when I tell you I paid for it."

"Oh I know you did," she giggled as her face dropped into the crook of his neck. She began laying kisses of her own onto his jaw. With deliberate slowness, she wrapped her legs around his waist and pressed herself into the bulge in his trousers. "Who wouldn't have missed all this?"

"Shadows preserve me," he exhaled as a prayer. "Please tell me that we've sufficiently made up because I won't be able to hold myself back for much longer if you continue doing that."

"What, this?" she asked in her most innocent voice as she rubbed herself up and down the growing bulge in his pants once more.

He groaned in response and let his head fall back to stare at the ceiling. "Yes, that!"

"Oh so you want me to stop?" she teased as she nipped his earlobe with her teeth.

"No," he grunted. "I want you to say 'enough of this unnecessary chatter, please take me Mercer.'"

"Is that so?" she continued to tease him, her fingers raking through his hair. He groaned in frustration, causing her to grin against his cheek. "Fine, I relent" she crooned in her most seductive voice into his ear. "Please take me, Mercer."

"Oh thank the gods" he cried out while simultaneously carrying her toward her bed. "See, was that so hard?"

"No, but I hope you are!"

"Don't you worry about that," he growled, his voice husky with lust.

She laughed freely, her grin stretching wide on her face. Bending at the waist, he laid her down underneath him and crawled to hover over her. He began kissing down her neck, sloppy and urgent, as if his eagerness could no longer be subdued. Her grin stayed planted on her face, aching her cheeks with its unfamiliarity. How long had it been since she last smiled like that?

His long fingers made quick work of the clasps on her leather cuirass, his mouth still busy planting kisses on any skin he could find. Her hands found their way into his hair, combing it away from his face. She needed to see his face as he did this, needed to know his urgency was genuine. A giggle formed its way out of her chest at his drawn brows, furrowed in concentration as he worked on the complicated fasteners that held her guild cuirass closed. The leather armor may be sufficient for what it was intended for, but it was a nightmare in situations like this. When he finished unhooking the last of the clasps, she sat up so he could pull it free, tossing it without a care across the room. In an instant he was back on her, his hands roaming around her body and under her thin, linen shirt in practiced, comfortable movements. Her heart ached at the familiarity his hands had with her body. How could there ever be anyone else for her?

Then out of nowhere, he stalled. His hands stopped roaming and his kisses ceased finding bare skin, but his eyes wandered around the room like he was seeing it for the first time.

"What is it?" she asked, trepidation clear in the tremor of her voice. "Is something wrong?"

He pulled back to his knees as his eyes scanned the room before landing on her with confusion. She felt her pulse quicken at his absence, fearing what this pause said about what was happening between them. Was this too soon? Was he having doubts? Second thoughts? Did he no longer want this? Her doubts faded but her nervousness remained as the flash of a grin took shape on his face, his eyes lighting with mischief.

"This blanket sure seems familiar." Uh oh. A hot blush crept up her neck in guilt. "Kai, did you rob my house?"


	64. Chapter 64

_7th of Second Seed 4E203_

Kaiya wasn't sure what caused the change, but the mood between them had definitely shifted. The lighthearted, playful banter was gone and in its place was a need, a yearning that went much deeper than their individual cravings for pleasure. They now found themselves taking their time, appreciating the other and not rushing towards release. A sense of closeness permeated the space between them, the moment becoming much more intimate than anything they had ever encountered before.

One at a time, Kaiya unclasped the fastenings on Mercer's Guildmaster cuirass. As her fingers worked on each clasp, Mercer's eyes were trained on her face, taking in her every feature. She laid on her back beneath him, her hair fanning out over the pillow. Propping himself up with one hand, he used the other to cradle her head as she worked, his fingers splayed behind her ear while his thumb stroked her cheek.

Once his cuirass was hanging open, Kaiya let her hands trail up and down his chest over his thin undershirt as her eyes met his. With a smile that came mostly from his eyes, he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers, letting his need to be close with her pour into his kiss. Her hands made their way around his neck and back into his hair, holding him firmly to her. Without breaking apart from their kiss, Mercer managed to discard his cuirass and slung it somewhere across the room. As quickly as he had shed his leathers, his hands were back on her, one grabbing onto her hip and the other returning to cradle her face.

Kaiya brought her shoulders up off the bed so that she could kiss his shoulder and let one hand roam around his back. Dipping her fingers under the fabric of his undershirt, she pulled it up to signal that she was ready to have it gone. He complied, pinching the neck and pulling it up and over his head. Once again, he returned quickly to hover over Kaiya. He kissed her again, this time letting much more passion pour into it as his tongue brushed hers and she opened for him to take control.

Her hands roamed over his naked chest as they kissed, her fingers committing his every feature to memory. This moment was one she would relive over and over so she had to make sure she had every detail right. She knew his body so well, the way his muscles contracted under her eager fingers, the light dusting of hair of his chest and his every scar. It was this familiarity that caused her to pause their kiss to investigate when she hit a smooth, raised slash that stretched across both pectorals. It was definitely a new scar, still pink from healing. Her fingers trailed along its length, spanning his entire chest. Whatever did this to him undoubtedly hurt badly, seeing its size and placement. It looked like a sword had swiped across in one smooth… oh. _Oh_. Her shoulders drooped at the realization. It had been her sword that put this scar on his chest.

"Hey, don't do that."

He spoke so softly that for a moment, she was unsure if he had spoken at all. His interruption worked though, pulling her attention to his gaze and holding it there. She expected harshness or even pain in his expression, but his eyes were so soft in how they looked at her while his thumb slowly grazed back and forth across her cheek that it caused the air to leave her lungs in a gasp.

"Remorse has no place here between us. You did nothing wrong."

"But I did this to you Mercer," she admitted with a sad sigh, her eyes following her fingers as they continued to brush up and down the length of the scar. "I hurt you."

"No," he argued, grasping one of her hands in his. While keeping his eyes locked on hers, he brought her hand to his chest and placed her palm against his skin, holding it there so she could feel his heartbeat. "This is what you did to me. You feel that? That's what you did. Forget the scar."

It suddenly became so clear to her. She felt her eyes well up with tears as she nodded in agreement. They couldn't let what happened get in the way of this moment or they would never be able to move past it. This moment was their apology, their forgiveness, their confession and their vow. This was their redemption and the beginning of their healing. This moment was bringing them back to life.

The epiphany surged through her and she pushed off the bed to catch his lips with hers in another kiss, her hands once again tangled in his hair and traversing down his back and around his shoulders. He continued to brace himself on one arm as he leaned forward on his knees, but his other arm wrapped around her, holding her to him as their kiss deepened. She spread her legs open wider and reached down to grab the top of his trousers in a not so subtle signal that she was ready. He understood as he always did and laid her back down, allowing her to feel his smile against her lips. Kaiya was never one to be shy about what she wanted but tonight, Mercer was adamant to stay in charge. With one hand, he worked on the ties that held her trousers in place. If she was ready, hers would be the first to go, of that he was uncompromising. When the laces were untied, he pushed himself up to his knees and slowly worked the leather down her legs before tossing them somewhere else in the room.

She now laid before him in nothing but her small clothes but he did not intend on letting them stay on for long. He swatted her hands away from the ties to his trousers before collapsing back on top of her. Propping himself up on his elbows while his fingers raked through her hair, he allowed himself a moment to just look at her. He took her all in: the blonde mane that surrounded her like a halo, the way she looked up at him with her big, blue eyes, seeing through his every disguise in a way no on else ever had. He drug his thumb across her bottom lip and leaned down to press his lips to hers. When she writhed underneath him, a clear signal that she wanted to do more than kiss, he took control.

"I'm taking it slow, Footpad" he commanded, his brows arching to show he meant business. "Let me have this, okay?"

"Is this your way of saying you missed me?" she teased, a smile back in her voice.

"You could say that," he said with a laugh. "Now hush and let me take care of you, woman!"

Kaiya only smiled in return. No other response was necessary. She knew Mercer would never be one for flowery emotional displays, but this was as close as she'd ever seen him get. He had missed her, she knew that. He was showing it to her now. Once again, she was reminded of why they always worked so well together. She knew how to read between the lines and he knew how to give her exactly what she was looking for in his own way.

He began making his way down her body, starting at her jaw and kissing a fiery trail down her neck and collarbone. When he reached her breast band, he pulled it down to release one of her breasts before taking it into his mouth. She arched her back in response as she moaned, her hands finding a grip in his hair. His tongue moved in circles around her sensitive nipple and the stimulation sent shockwaves throughout her body. "Mercer…" she sighed out to him as his free hand found its way to her other breast. He pulled down that side of the breast band as well before circling the pink, aching nipple with his thumb. She sighed his name once more as she felt his teeth nip at one nipple while his hand pinched the other.

The sound of his name on her lips made him smile. "That's it, Footpad" he encouraged as he breathed onto her wet flesh, bringing out a shiver that made its way through her body. As he took in the sight of her in bliss, he couldn't help himself and had to kiss her again. His hand continued to squeeze and massage her breast, which made her arch into him as he hovered over her face.

"That's it," he whispered between kisses as her body rolled and writhed beneath him. Her damp smallclothes began to soak his trousers where she pressed into him, desperate for some friction. As if in an answer to her body's pleas, he let his hand trail down her stomach, leaving a trail of shivers with his fingertips. Once his hand reached her smallclothes, he stopped, bringing a whine out of the needy Breton.

"Is this what you want?" he growled into her ear as his hand dipped below the fabric covering her, teasing her with one finger at her entrance.

"That's a start!" she cried, her voice breathy and desperate with want.

He grinned down at her, meeting her eyes and conveying his approval of her current needy state. Without another word, he plunged one long finger directly into her wetness. Kaiya arched back and gasped at the sudden welcome invasion, surprised he didn't make her beg him first.

"More, please" she exhaled directly into Mercer's ear. He gave her what she wanted, adding a second finger along with the first and slowly pulsing them in an out. When this elicited the noises he wanted, he changed it up, curling his fingers inside her. His eyes stayed trained on her face when he let his palm grind into her clit in slow circles as his fingers continued to plunge. He knew she loved it when he did that. Eyes wide, she grabbed onto either side of Mercer's face and pulled him into a desperate kiss.

He kissed her passionately now, letting his tongue plunge into her much as his fingers did below. She loved it, opening up to him in every way possible. Her hands grasped at his hair and chest as her hips rocked and pumped up and down with his efforts. It wouldn't be long before she toppled blissfully over the edge into her release but just as she was nearing the precipice, he stopped.

"What the?" she breathed in protest, her chest heaving up and down to keep up with her erratic breathing.

"Shh," he reprimanded her. "I decided I wanted you to come on my tongue."

In one swift motion, he pushed himself up from his position next to Kaiya and planted himself on his knees at the foot of the bed, between her legs. He gave her the most licentious grin he could muster before he pulled off the soaking small clothes that still hung on between her legs. He took the opportunity to remove her breast band as well so that she laid before him completely naked.

"Shadows take me," he swore as he took in the sight of her naked and flushed before him. "No matter how many times I tried to imagine this, I never did you justice."

Kaiya felt her lips curl into a smile as she bit her bottom lip, her hooded gaze roaming over his bare chest. "Ditto."

"You imagined this?" he asked as he knelt between her legs, bringing his face so close to her wetness that she could feel his breaths on her. She sat up and propped herself on her elbows for a better view of what he was about to do, not wanting to miss a moment of it. He looked up at her from this position, a wicked grin taking hold of his features.

"Yes," she admitted breathlessly. "This exact moment actually. But like you said, I did not do it justice."

Without another word, Mercer flicked out his tongue and grazed the small bundle of nerves that had been begging for his attention. Kaiya let out a moan as her head rolled back, causing her to crash into the pillows. He took this as encouragement to continue and let his tongue flick back and forth over her bud before plunging into her. His eyes did not leave her as he continued, the urge to see every reaction of hers keeping him trained on her face. With one hand, Mercer reached up to play with one of her breasts as he had been before. This made Kaiya moan again, her hands found their way to his hair to hold him in place. Seeing as she thoroughly enjoyed the multitasking, Mercer decided to try something else. As his mouth locked onto her clit, he inserted one of his long fingers into her. Then two.

"Oh dear sweet Sithis, yes" Kaiya called out as she arched her back, holding onto Mercer's head for stability.

Mercer stopped for a moment and looked up at her with a smirk. "Give credit where credit's due, Footpad," he joked. "It's not Sithis down here doing this."

"MERCER FREY godsdammit I'll call you whatever you want if you keep doing what you were doing," she exclaimed in one breath, each word running into the other as if they were in a hurry.

"That's more like it" he said with a grin before giving in to her demands. His mouth returned to her clit while his fingers continued to make the 'come hither' motion inside of her. In no time, her entire body vibrated with the tension of an impending orgasm.

"That's it," he encouraged between circles of his talented tongue. "Come for me, Kaiya."

At the sound of her name in his deep, husky voice, she came. Hard. "Mercer!" she cried out in a voice so loud, her thu'um threatened to break free from her chest.

"That's my girl," he continued his encouragement as the last waves of her orgasm ripped through her, and placed light kisses on the inside of her thighs.

 _My girl._ The two words buzzed in Kaiya's heart along with the orgasm that fluttered through her entire body. It's not often she was given an experience like that: complete bliss for her body and her heart. Earlier today she was struggling to come to terms with his death. Now he was giving her the sexual experience of her life while calling her his girl and encouraging her to come for him.

While Kaiya laid in the afterglow thinking of how much had changed in such a short amount of time, Mercer took the opportunity to rid himself of the trousers he had purposefully kept on until this moment. He knew if he hadn't kept them on, he would have been way too tempted to just take her when she was crying out his name like that instead of taking the time he wanted to give to this moment.

When he returned to the bed, his breath caught in his throat for a brief moment at the sight. There Kaiya was, flushed, pink and glowing from his efforts but instead of looking exhausted or finished, she looked up at him from her position propped up on her elbows with hunger. She was not done.

"I don't deserve you looking at me like that Kaiya," he admitted roughly, "but I am so godsdamned happy that you are."

"Come here, you" she cooed in her sultriest voice as his gaze met hers.

"Yes ma'am" he surrendered as he began crawling his way up her body. He placed kisses on her legs and stomach as he ventured higher, her fingers once again combing through his dark locks. He paused in his assent over her breasts, spending some time with each one before continuing his exploration up to her face. He kissed along her collarbone, her shoulders and neck. She giggled as he continued, still unsure of how to handle his sentimental gestures. She was the Dragonborn, used to hearing bards play songs for her in every inn in Skyrim, yet she had never felt worshipped quite like this before.

When he finally reached her lips, he paused before he kissed her just to look into her eyes for a moment. There was a slight playfulness to his gaze, like he was trying to tease her with his patience. Not to be forced to wait a moment longer, Kaiya placed both of her palms on either side of his face and just initiated the kiss herself. Instead of pulling away, he laughed against her lips and braced himself above her with one arm while his other ventured down her body, slowly exploring. When he reached her legs, his hand drifted down the inside of one of her thighs in order to spread her legs wider for him. He positioned himself in the cradle of her thighs as his hand traveled its way to her hip, giving it a squeeze.

Her hands wandered around his chest as they kissed and her fingertips flirted with his stomach just to watch him shiver from the tickling sensation. She smiled against his lips, her happiness in this moment a palpable entity in the room with them. He pulled back from their kiss to rest his forehead against hers, their shared intimacy making the use of words obsolete. With one hand, he guided his length to her opening before feeding it into her, inch by inch.

Her mouth and eyes opened wide at the sensation of being slowly filled while he continued to hold her eyes locked on his as he entered her. When he was fully sheathed inside her, they both let out a groan that said it all: their happiness in this moment, the sheer ecstasy of being here and doing this again. Their gazes locked, the smiles they wore shown through their eyes.

"Hey," Kaiya spoke first, running her hands along his chest to punctuate her giddiness.

"Hi," Mercer responded in his deep, hoarse voice, tinged with his smile.

They had yet to move, instead remaining still so that she could get accustomed to his size again. While they had done this plenty of times in the past, it had been a while for both of them and he did not want to risk any of their pleasure in this moment on his desire to move quickly.

"You good?" he asked her softly as he ran a hand through her hair, although from the look on her face the question was unnecessary.

"So good."

With his smile still firmly all over his face, he began slowly moving his hips in circles, drawing a gasp out from between her lips. His hand returned to cradle her face and as his hips began to slowly pump, he kissed her. Her hands clung to his back, pulling him to her for more. More friction. More kisses. More Mercer.

What started as a small, intimate peck turned to two, then three, before it turned into a passionate expression, his tongue plunging into her mouth as his hips gradually picked up pace. Breathless, he pulled back to look at her again. The look that met him was one he didn't expect: confusion.

"What?" his words were strained with his exertion, his breaths heavy, "I can't kiss my girl while I fuck her?"

A smile lit up her face as he let out a husky laugh at his own words. "Your girl, huh?"

"You heard me."

Propping himself up on his knees, Mercer pulled both of Kaiya's hands from his back before stretching them over her head. After running his calloused hands down both sides of her body and back up to hers, he laced their fingers together. Their faces now mere inches apart, he pressed his lips to hers in a quick, hard kiss.

"And don't you forget it, Footpad" he growled while his hips continued their slow hammering into her. "You're mine. The rest of Nirn can fuck off. I'm back and don't intend on letting you out of my sight again."

Kaiya's brows raised at the intensity of his decree but her attention was soon diverted to what was happening down below. Her eyes rolled back into her head as his pace quickened, a moan escaping her lips. With determined movements, he slowly drug himself out of her before snapping his hips back to plunge inside. The angle between their bodies was practically nonexistent as he laid almost flat on top of her, which made for wonderful friction of his pelvic bone with her clit. Tension built within her every muscle, tightening and tightening as she felt herself climbing toward release.

"Have you nothing to say?"

Mercer's growl snapped Kaiya out of her blissful ascent. "Huh?" was all she managed to croak out.

"I said you're mine." To accentuate his words, his hips snapped even faster. They were both reaching the point of no return, neither able to keep their pleasure quiet.

"Fuck" Mercer groaned out as he buried his head into the crook of her neck. Kaiya arched her back, moaning her appreciation towards the ceiling.

"Mercer, I'm going to come" she forced out, her eyes closed tightly.

"Oh no you don't," Mercer growled as his hips slowed to almost a complete stop.

"Wha-what!?" Kaiya shrieked, writhing beneath him for some of the friction her body was craving from his. "Mercer, don't stop!"

"Have need of me, do you?" he growled as he kissed her cheek, his pace still torturously slow.

"Yes!"

"Is this what you need?" he teased as he sped up thrusting hips for a moment before slowing them back down.

"YES! Mercer, please!" Kaiya begged without shame.

"I'll give you what you want, Footpad. You just have to say the words." Green eyes locked onto her blue ones, stressing the importance of this moment.

"What words? I said please!" she cried, her pleading eyes boring into his. "Mercer you're not being fair!"

A low, rumbling chuckle was her reply. "I told you that you were mine, Kaiya." He ground his hips into her again, his hands squeezing her fingers. "And I want a response."

"Oh for the love of Sithis," Kaiya scoffed. "Yes, I'm yours. Always have been." At the softening around Mercer's eyes at her words, she realized how much this moment meant to him. This wasn't just about orgasm denial, like he was making it seem. This was important. The realization squeezed her heart like a fist, her breaths speeding up and her fingers tightening around his. Their gazes locked, she let silence fill the room for a moment longer before she continued, all frustration gone from her tone.

"I'm yours," she vowed. "And you're mine. No more games. No more secrets. No more lies. It's you and me."

A deep v formed between his eyebrows as the words hit him, the gravity wrapping around his heart and the intensity of the moment showing in the concentration on his face. Without another word, his lips crashed into hers in answer. He unlinked their fingers on one hand so could cradle her face, their eyes locked. His hips picked up speed once again, snapping into her with a fervor that brought a moan out of each of them in reply. In instinct, her eyes slammed shut in order to concentrate on the glorious feeling he was creating below.

"Eyes on me," he commanded. She obeyed. Holding her jaw, he kissed her again before explaining. "I want you here with me when you come. I want to see it." He kissed her again as his own release became imminent and his actions frantic. "I want you to see me."

"I see you," she whispered to him like a prayer.

Her muscles tightened and tightened, but she held his gaze. "Yes, that's my girl" he whispered as her mouth began to drop open, her eyes still holding onto his. The muscles in his jaw tightened, his control weakening and his grip on Kaiya's face and hand squeezing with his desperation.

"Are you going to come for me, Kaiya?" he asked, voice strained and neck muscles taut as he grappled for control.

"Yes," she exhaled. "Don't stop. Just like that."

"Fuck," he groaned out as his own release threatened. "You feel too good, Kaiya. You've gotta come for me baby I can't hold on much longer."

As if she were waiting for his permission, her body trembled at his words as her release took over. It took over her every muscle, contracting and relaxing as her release exploded through her body. Still, she did not move her eyes from his.

"That's it, Footpad" he exhaled through shaky breaths. "I can feel you coming on me, Kaiya. That's it." His eyes did not leave hers as his hips thrust faster and faster, his own release now what he worked towards. "Godsdamn, you're beautiful when you're blissed out like this."

She smiled at his words. Dirty one moment, sweet and complimentary the next. She loved them all. As her body slowly came back from its trip to aetherius with that last orgasm, she concentrated on making his release as good as hers just was. Her smile turned devious as she decided to hit him with some of her own dirty words.

"How many times did you think about this when you were gone, Mercer?" her words were dripping with heat. "My face when I came around your cock? How my insides gripped you?"

"Fuck," he exhaled "all the time, footpad. Constantly."

"It's even better than you imagined, isn't it?"

"You know the answer to that, Kaiya."

With her hand that wasn't entwined with Mercer's, she reached down between them and cradled his balls. They were tight against his body, telling her it would be any time now. He grunted in response, his every breath a curse. "Fuck, Kaiya!"

This plan of hers was backfiring. Seeing so much pleasure in his face and hearing his breathless curses was affecting her more than she anticipated. Another orgasm started to form in her tensing muscles, and she wasn't the only one that noticed.

"Again?" he asked plainly. There was no irritation, which surprised Kaiya. She might have been irritated if her own orgasm had to wait again like he was going to force his to for her.

"Yes," she answered honestly. At this, they both went silent, concentrating on their movements and what was transpiring between them. Moments later, Kaiya's orgasm ripped through her body the same way it had before, pulsing her every muscle. His name on her lips, she cried out, but her gaze never broke from his.

"Good girl," he praised her as his thrusts became erratic. He was close.

"Yes," she exhaled, still in the throes of her own release. "Come for me Mercer!"

With a roar, he obeyed. She felt him pulse inside her and watched his face as the orgasm ripped through his entire body. His mouth open as his body jerked, she raised up and pressed a kiss to his cheek before he collapsed. One of his hands still gripped hers, their fingers intertwined. With deliberate softness, she ran the fingers of her free hand through his hair as his head rested on her chest.

"By the Nine, I missed this" she breathed as her lips pressed light kisses into his hair. A rough chuckle made its way through his body, but that was his only response. After a few more breathless moments, Mercer pulled out of her and rolled onto his back in the bed next to her. Just as they had done countless times before this, he pulled her to him and she laid her head on his chest, her fingers dancing down his chest in the silence of the room.

"I missed this," he said, shattering the quiet in the room with his rough voice. Then, so softly she barely heard it, he said "missed you."

A grin slowly made its way across her face at his admission. "It's okay," she teased, her fingers walking up his chest. "I missed you too."

No more words were needed. They both found themselves drifting off towards sleep they desperately needed, even though the sun was up and the quiet Riften morning was beginning to pick up the sounds of shopkeepers opening their stands in the marketplace. None of that mattered, however, in the quietness of Honeyside where they lay. They would need to talk it all out. One good lay didn't replace good old-fashioned communication, but it didn't hurt either. Without a word, they both accepted that they could discuss whatever they needed to discuss once they awoke but for now, they wanted their peace. Their bliss.

They were together again and while they had mountains to climb to set everything back right, that didn't matter right now. They needed this. This was their vow, their promise. They would make this work, of that they were certain. With their newfound peace coursing through their sated bodies, they drifted off to sleep.


	65. Chapter 65

_8th of Second Seed 4E203_

The first surprise Kaiya encountered as she woke up was that she woke up naturally. There were no dreams or nightmares, criminal matriarchs or guild members banging on the door that caused her sleep to end, which was new. It was dark outside, which was also strange, considering the only recent occurrences of Kaiya waking up somewhat naturally were the times she woke up when the sun shone into Mercer's bedroom window at Riftweald.

 _Mercer._

The moment Mercer hit her thoughts was the worst part of waking up for Kaiya. It was the reminder that he was no longer there after blissful unconsciousness that separated her from thinking about it for a matter of hours. This occurrence, however, made her pause. Wasn't there something that happened…

At that moment, a stirring in the bed next to Kaiya made her heart plunge down to her toes in shock for her second surprise of her limited time awake. It had been a long time since she last woke up next to another. When the unidentified man next to her rolled over and reached for her, pulling her into the cradle of his arms to continue sleeping as he held her, she was hit with shock number three.

 _Mercer. In bed. Next to her._

She was dead. That had to be it. Although, after looking around, she thought it strange that the void looked a lot like Honeyside. Huh. Maybe she wasn't in the void after all. She had always wondered how the Daedric Princes that she pled fealty to would decide which plane of Oblivion she would be gifted with upon her death. She said a silent prayer in thanks to whoever was responsible for this decision that she was not in Coldharbour. That would have sucked.

As she adjusted her position in the cradle of Mercer's arms, determined to enjoy death as long as she was allowed, her muscles screamed in protest. Why was she sore? Dead people don't get sore, do they?

And that's when the memories came flooding back.

She wasn't dead and neither was Mercer. He was here, next to her. Because he wasn't the betrayer they all thought he was. He called her "my girl" and said he wasn't letting her out of his sight. He wouldn't let her come until she told him she was his. They fell asleep after the best sex she had ever had. He was still here, wrapped around her. This wasn't a dream. It was reality.

Her face ached from the large grin that split across her cheeks at the realization that she was not crazy and that this was not all hallucination, because she could hear him snoring into the crook of her neck as she laughed.

Not to be outdone by her blossoming happiness however, Kaiya's looming depression decided this was a perfect time to rear its head and remind her that everything wasn't as perfect as it seemed. They still needed to talk, badly. In the revelations from Karliah that preceded Mercer's return to her life, she learned quite a bit about the man who slept next to her. Some of what she learned was great, some was concerning, but all of it she wished she had heard from Mercer instead of some dead Guildmaster's journal.

Even so, there was little that could get in the way of Kaiya's happiness. She had Mercer back and even though there was work ahead of them, they would figure it out. Nothing seemed like a relationship obstacle when compared to one member of the relationship not existing anymore. It tends to change one's perspective after being faced with what it feels like to lose the other person. After that, things like lying, secrets, games and murdering the former Guildmaster just seemed petty.

She was unsure how long she had been awake basking in her new reality when she felt Mercer stir from where he laid behind her. A lopsided smile crept up across her lips as his barely perceptible groans hit her ear. His arms wrapped tightly around her to pull her closer, her back against his front, so he could speak directly into her ear.

"Hey," he started, his voice hoarse and deep from sleep. "Now this. This is how I want to wake up every day."

He buried his face into the crook between her neck and shoulder, laying sloppy kisses on her naked skin. Cheeks red and flushed with her own happiness, Kaiya could not help the face splitting smile that seemed to be permanent now. She could feel the rumbling of his voice and his deep groans where his chest met her back. The feeling was so familiar and she had missed it so much that she could not help the moisture that collected in her eyes. He was here. She could barely believe it.

The nagging feeling from earlier could not stay dormant for long however, and began to creep up into the space in her pounding heart. They needed to talk. The need was like a presence in the room with them as soon as she thought about it and she knew it could not be postponed for any longer.

"We need to talk."

His body froze behind her and a slow exhale left his lips, his breath blowing directly onto her shoulder. In an instant, she realized what her statement must have sounded like so soon after waking with him like this. Doubt. Second thoughts. Or even worse, regret.

She flipped around to face him immediately, her heart lurching in her chest at the defeated expression he wore. No no no she would not mess this up so quickly.

"I didn't mean like that, Mercer." His eyes shot up to meet hers as her hand moved to brush the hair out of his face. "I meant that we still have a lot to work out. Such as where you're living, if you're coming back to the guild, if you intend to remain dead to the rest of Riften... oh and the fact that you had a relationship with Karliah's mother that you never told me about."

A relieved exhale left his lips as his expression softened. This he expected. Bending his elbow to prop up his head on his hand as he faced her, he drug one eyebrow up to his hairline showing his skepticism over her supposed calm.

"Well I was hoping we could figure out the answers to your first several questions together." His free hand tucked a strand of her wild, blonde hair behind her ear as she mirrored his position. "But let's start with the one about Karliah's mother since that one seems to be eating at you a little bit."

There was laughter in his voice, yet Kaiya was not playing along. To her, this was not funny. She glared back at him as she worked out how she wanted to respond to his casual tone but it did not go unnoticed by the observant former Guildmaster.

"Okay," he spoke in a show of surrender, holding his palm out to her on his free hand. "I see this is a more sensitive subject than I originally believed."

"Why didn't you tell me about her?" Her voice was small, yet steel in its resolve. While she was hurt by his lie of omission, she was determined to solve this issue so it would not sit between them like a sore.

He contemplated his response to her seriously, his eyes meeting hers to show his sincerity. "I don't have a good answer for that Footpad," he admitted. "I guess I figured that it was so long ago that it didn't matter. Or that I would be dead soon anyway so it wouldn't matter. Or a combination of the two, that you didn't really need to know in the grand scheme of things because I was going to be dead and it was a long time ago."

Kaiya gulped at the raw intensity of his honesty. "Whoa."

"Yeah," he exhaled a laugh. "I can see how that might be a lot to take. So how about this?" He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "How about I answer your questions now and tell you whatever you want to know. This is your chance to get it all out of me, and then we'll move on from it."

"That sounds good," she replied with a small smile. "Well, what are you waiting for? Tell me about your relationship with the Dunmer MILF."

Mercer tilted his head back and barked out a laugh, the sound bouncing around the room before knocking Kaiya right in the heart. How she had missed that damn laugh. Without a conscious thought, his free hand began rubbing up and down her body on the outside of the blanket, from hip, across her lower back and up to her shoulders and back, as if it was the most comfortable action in the world for him. It was easy again, just the two of them talking as they always did, even if the subject matter was a little darker this time.

"Dralsi was in the guild when I joined over 25 years ago," he explained as his hand continued up and down along Kaiya's side. "She was married to someone outside of the guild, yet the two of us began an affair."

Kaiya just nodded at this admission. When his eyebrow shot up in surprise at her tame response, she laughed "Mercer of all the things I've learned recently, an extramarital affair is the least of my concerns."

She caught a small wince from him at her honesty, but he continued. "We were young and stupid and thought we were in love. We went on heists together, slept together and then I joined her as a Nightingale."

"You were both Nightingales?" Kaiya asked with a gasp.

"Yes, and I have to admit, it's strange to be able to speak to you about the Nightingales" he chuckled as he put a strand of hair behind her ear. "I am not going to lie and say I haven't fantasized once or twice about seeing you in that armor again…"

"You're getting distracted, Frey!" Kaiya laughed and smacked his shoulder. "You were talking about Dralsi being a Nightingale with you…"

"Oh, right." He shook his head as if trying to dislodge the image of Kaiya in her Nightingale armor so he could concentrate. "Yeah, Dralsi was a Nightingale before me and then when I got inducted, it was Dralsi, Gallus and myself. Karliah actually took her place when she died."

"Oh, she died?" Kaiya asked with a surprising amount of sadness in her voice. "I didn't know that."

"She died protecting the Twilight Sepulcher from an attack by a band of mercenaries."

Kaiya remained silent, just nodded for Mercer to continue.

"Anyway, when we were together, I learned that she had a daughter with her husband. A daughter named Karliah. She said that she was teaching Karliah everything she knew about thieving and one day wanted to pass down her Nightingale position to her. When Karliah eventually joined the guild, Dralsi made me promise to protect her."

"This is where I get confused," Kaiya interjected. "Why would you need to protect Karliah in the guild?"

"I had a same reaction when she asked, so that was when she dropped the bombshell on me about her mother and therefore the lineage of Karliah." Kaiya nodded in understanding as Mercer continued. "She worried that when members found out about it, they would do all they could to use this information to their advantage in any way they could."

"I see," Kaiya said, nodding as her fingers drew circles on Mercer's chest.

"So I promised that I would always look after and protect Karliah," Mercer laughed without humor and drug his hand through his hair "and godsdamn it if I wasn't true to that promise."

Kaiya felt a tug in her heart for him at his raw confession. He had lost everything in order to protect Karliah from Maven, and the guilt had undoubtedly eaten at him for decades that he was the one to introduce Maven into the picture in the first place. With that thought in mind, Kaiya continued on with her line of questions.

"So where did Maven come into all this?"

Mercer's muscles seemed to turn to stone at the introduction of Maven into their conversation. It was as if every fiber in his body went taut at her name. "Maven knew before she ever met me who Karliah was. In fact, Maven knew before Karliah did who Karliah was. No one knows how to take advantage of an opportunity quite like Maven."

"That makes no sense." Kaiya stated, her brows drawn in confusion. "What did she do?"

"She knew I was in the guild. Dralsi had recently been killed at the Twilight Sepulcher and we had just inducted Karliah in as a Nightingale in her place. As you know, Maven has her ways to find out any bit of information she wants," Mercer groaned out his words behind clenched teeth, "so she did. She found out that Dralsi and I had been in a relationship and that I was heartbroken at her death. Perfect opportunity for Maven to swoop in as the rebound to take my mind away from all of it, all the while spinning her web for me to get caught in and hang myself."

Kaiya could feel her anxiety rising in the pit of her stomach as the conversation continued. She assumed it was much the same for Mercer as he rehashed and reopened these old wounds, but they had to make it through if they were going to put this behind them. "Go on," Kaiya urged. "Let's get this part over with so we can be done talking about the succubus."

Mercer breathed out a laugh before cradling Kaiya's face with his free hand. "You. How are you real?"

"What?!" Kaiya asked in shock. "I'm making you talk about shit you hate and you're getting sentimental? What happened to you when you were on the run for a while, Merc?"

He laughed harder at her shock. "The way you get angry for me when I tell you about Maven. It's endearing. It reminds me that I'm not alone."

"You may be a lot of things, Mercer Frey" Kaiya continued with a laugh "but you're not wrong to hate Maven Black-Briar. No, you're not alone in that."

He leaned forward and pressed another chaste kiss to her forehead before continuing. "Well that's basically it, I think you can figure out the rest. Maven is good at what she does, I have to give her that. She learned quickly that Karliah was someone that I wanted to look after and she manipulated that to her benefit. Gallus was a danger to Karliah. Gallus needed to be stopped and removed. The ends justify the means if it means protecting Karliah." Without noticing, Mercer's fists had begun squeezing and tightening around the blanket that covered them, his teeth grinding into each other in frustration. "I was such an idiot to fall for her scheme and it cost me everything."

"Not everything," Kaiya reminded him quietly as she bent forward to place kisses on his face. "You were an idiot, yeah, but you were also young. Now you know better and you have found your redemption."

"Have I?" he asked seriously, his eyes boring into hers as he awaited her answer. He hadn't realized how badly he needed to hear her say that.

"You gave up your life for your guild," Kaiya reminded him as she kissed the tip of his nose. "I'd say that's penance enough."

With a surge of energy, Mercer rolled on top of the giggling Kaiya. He placed sloppy kisses all over her face and neck, all the while letting her know exactly what he thought of her. She was perfect, he said. He didn't deserve her. She just continued to giggle under his ministrations, his playfulness making her heart beat faster.

"We're not done talking yet, Mercer!" she admonished between laughs, but her heart wasn't in it.

"We're done for now," he commanded. "I think we earned a break, don't you?"

As his eyes met hers, the green dancing with his own giddiness of his confirmed redemption, she knew she could never say no to this man.

* * *

"I should probably be more concerned that all of my clothes are in your wardrobe but I have to admit, this is just convenient."

After distracting themselves from conversation until their lusts were temporarily sated, the two thieves needed food. But in order to make it to the kitchen to take care of their hunger, they recognized that they probably needed to put on clothes first. Each prior attempt had ended the same: convincing themselves that it was time for another break.

Kaiya stood at the cooking pot in Honeyside virtually swallowed whole in one of Mercer's undershirts, the hem coming to just above her knees. A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth as she watched Mercer tug on a pair of loose fitting trousers that she had pilfered from Riftweald Manor. Who would have thought that her drunken burglary on a whim would have ending up being so practical?

Adding more salt to the concoction in the cooking pot, she continued to stir while her smile stayed in place. It was becoming a somewhat permanent fixture to her face and she couldn't bring herself to feel guilty about it. Sure, they still had some issues to work out and there were probably several members of the guild that would love to get their hands on the man in her home right now, but none of that had the power to tarnish her good mood when she could hear him moving around a few feet away. Something as simple as that, being able to hear his footsteps on the wooden planks of the floor or the sound of his grunts as he stumbled around in the next room, it made everything better. She would never take those little miracles for granted. They meant he was here with her.

As though he could hear his name in her thoughts, Mercer approached her as she stirred the contents of the cooking pot and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind. "Smells good," he murmured into her neck as he placed a wet kiss behind her ear.

"I hope you like apple cabbage stew," she replied, knocking the wooden spoon against the cooking pot.

"Is it warm?"

Her eyebrows knitted in confusion. "Yes…" Couldn't he see the steam coming off of the pot in front of them?

"Then I'll love it" he announced, kissing her again on her bare collarbone since the shirt she wore had slipped down off her shoulder. "I haven't had anything warm in weeks, Footpad."

"Oh." His admission hit her somewhere in her ribcage, causing her heart to jump in surprise. As much as she had thought about him since their rendezvous in Irkngthand, none of those thoughts had been about what he was doing. This made sense, since she had thought he was dead, but it made her realize that there were now a few weeks of time that she had no idea what he was doing, where he slept or what he ate. The image of him scrounging for food or sleeping out in the cold since he couldn't show his face in a tavern or inn clenched at her stomach.

Shaking her head to remove these thoughts that clouded up her happiness, she directed Mercer to grab two bowls and to have a seat. As much as she'd rather stand there in his arms and enjoy such a mundane task with him, she knew they needed to finish their conversation from earlier.

* * *

The rest of the day was spent talking. Talking about the past, about the present, about the future. They took a few breaks along the way when Mercer's eyes wouldn't leave Kaiya's bare shoulder as the neck of her shirt slipped down again or when Kaiya's focus seemed to not be able to latch onto anything outside of Mercer's naked chest as he spoke. But they both knew that they had a lot of ground to cover if they wanted to move forward and it was that thought that kept them pushing through their conversation even when they wanted to just be done with it all and lie in their own bliss.

Mercer explained the manipulation of Maven that caused him to kill someone he had once considered a friend. Kaiya rubbed his back as he walked her through the day he realized he had made the biggest mistake of his life. He told her about how Maven revealed her true colors to him and how he had grown to hate her above all others. Kaiya's heart pounded and bled for Mercer as he spoke, feeling everything alongside him as if she were experiencing his history first hand. There was one admission he made however that made her heart swim and flutter in an entirely different way from the sick, broken pounding it had done before.

"Oh no Footpad, my relationship with Dralsi was nothing like what I have with you."

"What do you mean?" she had asked, her heart in her throat.

"With Dralsi I always knew it would never go anywhere. She was married, it was just a fling. Having this in the back of my mind meant that the relationship was safe for me. I didn't have to worry about it getting too serious. We didn't have to fix any problems or work on our communication or anything a real couple would have had to do. We just got to concentrate on the fun."

"Oh," Kaiya had said, her heart sinking at his words. Her eyes dropped to her hands in her lap in defeat. Mercer noticed. He always noticed. Sliding out of his chair, he came to kneel before her on the planks of the kitchen floor. With a shaky hand to her chin, he lifted her face so that she was forced to look him in the eye.

"That didn't mean that it was better, Footpad. That mean that it was shallow. Hollow. The relationship had no depth. As much as I thought I loved her then, I had no idea what that meant." Both hands cradled her face as he continued, the green in his eyes practically glowing with his intensity. "What I have with you is not safe. There is no escape route or plan B if it doesn't work out. It will only end if we let it end. That's terrifying, Footpad, but it's real."

Kaiya's eyes teared up as he spoke, his raw honesty tearing away at any defenses she had left. He had never spoken to her quite like this before, with such vulnerability.

"Don't you get it, Kaiya?" he begged her for understanding, his eyes pleading as they shimmered. "Dralsi died when we were together and while it hurt me and I thought I was broken, it was nothing compared to being away from you for a few weeks. I knew you were alive. You were right there, but I couldn't touch you. I could only watch from afar and imagine what it would be like to have you look at me again like you used to. But I thought it would never happen. I thought I had lost that privilege."

"Wait," Kaiya interjected. "You watched me?"

"Yes," he confessed on a sigh. "I did. I watched as you pretended everything was okay. When you would break into my house to get some sleep or when you thought you heard me or saw me. I watched your heartbreak over me and all I wanted was to run to you and have you look at me in awe again, like you used to, but then I realized that one day that heartbreak would fade and I'd have to see that look on your face for someone else."

Kaiya shook her head in disagreement, but Mercer only continued. "I had to come to terms with the fact that you may look at someone else the way you used to look at me and I thought that if the wounds from your sword and the water in Irkngthand didn't kill me, the thought of you with someone else would. But then I realized that I wanted to see you happy more than I wanted to be the only one that could make you happy. I bargained with every deity I could think of to let me see you smile just one more time, even if it was at some other man. I just wanted to know you were smiling again. And that's when I knew that this," he moved his finger back and forth between them "was something much more than I had ever experienced before. It was enough to drag me out of the water and it saved my life, yes. But it also made me want to save yours, even if it meant ripping my own heart out to do it. And for me, for this selfish, greedy thief, that was a revolution."

Kaiya's mouth dropped open at his confession, tears spilling out over heated cheeks. What they had been through had changed him, had taught him lessons he never expected to have learned. He was still her Mercer, but instead of keeping her at arm's length to protect himself, he was opening up his chest and letting her see his beating heart. It was beaten, broken and bleeding, but it was his. His past had taken its toll but it still pumped, but now it pumped for her. And it was beautiful.

"What made you come back?" Kaiya's voice shook as she spoke, her hands coming up to hold onto Mercer's wrists for stability. He continued to cradle her face with both hands, his eyes roaming her face as if to soak in every subtle reaction she had to his words.

"I recognized that you deserved to make the decision once and for all if it was me that would make you happy or not" he confessed with a humorless laugh, his thumbs wiping at her tears. "You made me promise you that I would not make decisions on your behalf and while I broke that promise when I took off and made you chase me all over Skyrim in my convoluted plan to save the guild, I could at least give you the chance to make up your own mind about us."

Kaiya nodded as her tears continued to streak down her face. "I want you, you ass!" she exclaimed with a laugh. She grabbed his face to mirror the hold he had on her before crashing her lips into his. The kiss was hard but she could feel Mercer's smile taking shape beneath her lips.

"Yeah?"

So much vulnerability had crept into his voice that she had no choice but to kiss him again, to kiss the questions and doubt out of his mind. "Yes!" she cried out as she continued to assault him with kiss after kiss, her tears causing both of their faces to become wet. "There's no one else for me, Mercer. Not in my past, present or future. No one. I'll always choose you. I fucking love you, you dumbass!"

Mercer laughed and the sound shocked Kaiya's heart into beating even faster. His voice. His smell. His laugh. They would always make her body react in ways that she could not control. This laugh was new, though. It was a laugh that sounded like it came from a place of sheer happiness. Nothing to fear. Nothing to doubt.

"I fucking love you too, Footpad."


	66. Chapter 66

_10th of Second Seed 4E203_

Kaiya couldn't remember the last time she had been this nervous. Terrified? Sure. Miserable? Quite often. But anxiousness? After all she had been through, one would think that something as simple as nerves couldn't rattle her anymore, but they'd be wrong.

She stared at the shadowmark on the mausoleum in the graveyard, her nerves preventing her from reaching out and pressing it to reveal the secret entrance to the cistern. This was such a mundane, everyday action that she had performed more times than she could count. Why did it seem insurmountable today?

The answer why was not all that allusive. Today was different. Today wasn't like the countless other times she had entered into the cistern without a second thought. Today she had some work to do and an entire guild of people that were looking to her for answers. She had stayed hidden in her own secret world with Mercer for long enough. It was time to re-enter the real world.

With a forced exhale, she made herself press the shadowmark and the grinding sound of the mechanism began. Her body fell into its easily memorized pattern of opening the grate and shimming down the ladder without much input from her frazzled brain. Once her boots hit the stones however, her body caught up with her brain, freezing her to the spot.

With the exception of the sound of water cascading from the pipes along the walls, the cistern was silent.

It wasn't empty. Thieves lined the walls, just as they always did. They just didn't make a sound. Instead of bustling about, they were all as still as she was, frozen in place, staring right back at her as she stared at them.

They were looking to her for answers. She had to be the one to break this silence, to give them what they had undoubtedly been wondering about for days now.

It was time for her to be a leader.

With that reminder, she forced her legs to pump again, pushing her towards the center of the cistern where the rest of the guild's leadership waited. A bead of sweat rolled from her forehead and down her neck, belying the sense of calm authority she tried so hard to project. When she finally reached the platform in the center of the cistern, she felt the weight of all eyes on her.

It was hot. So hot. Why was it so bright?

She couldn't do this _._

"It's okay lass," Brynjolf crooned in her ear as he placed a reassuring hand on her back. "It'll all be over before you know it."

She gulped at their attention. This was too much. "Would it be cool with all of you if we did this in the Flagon?" She let out an awkward laugh. "This seems a little… formal."

Delvin cracked a grin at her question. Vex followed with a smile of her own. Karliah nodded once, her face remaining solemn. Brynjolf rounded out the leadership by barking out a comfortable laugh. Kaiya felt herself exhale for what had to be the first time since she had entered the cistern. These were her people. It was going to be okay.

"You heard your Guildmaster," Brynjolf joked with his voice raised in order to address the rest of the thieves that lined the walls. "Let's head to the Flagon!"

One by one, the thieves filed into the Ragged Flagon from the cistern. Some of them whispered to each other, asking what she was going to say or why they needed to go to the Flagon or even complaining about the jobs they had to do that this little ceremony was going to delay, but yet, they followed her direction without argument.

Once they had all situated themselves in the chairs and leaning along the makeshift walls of the tavern, Kaiya entered. With a single nod, she communicated to Vekel behind the bar that she needed a mead. Probably several, if the stark faces of her guild were any indication.

Kaiya's eyes met Brynjolf's, then Vex's, hovered over Karliah's for just a moment, then landed on Delvin's. The guild leadership stood next to her, their presence giving her strength. Delvin's eyes were soft as he looked at her with respect, a small smile hinting around the corner of his mouth. That small gesture from someone she trusted was all she needed. She could do this.

"Before we get started with what I'm sure will be a super lavish Guildmaster induction ceremony," Kaiya joked, hoping no one heard the tremor in her voice. "I have some things I'd like to say."

"Floor's all yours, love." Delvin answered, sweeping out one arm to where the rest of the guild sat waiting.

With a deep breath to steady her pounding heart, she began.

"It's been a pretty crazy few weeks for all of us, hasn't it?"

No one spoke in response but nods bobbed the heads that stood around the Flagon.

"Understatement of the year, huh?" she laughed without humor before continuing. "I know it's a lot to take in but I hope by the time you all hear me out there will be a little more clarity."

"By the end of this induction ceremony, I will officially be your new Guildmaster. You all know me to varying degrees and through different means, but I think it's time for us to all be on equal footing. If I've learned anything from the past several weeks it's that secrets and lies are a sickness that will eat out a guild from the inside and so I vow to you now that you won't have to worry about any of that with me. But without understanding where this vow comes from, these are just words, so let me set the example and tell you a little about why they mean so much to me."

All eyes stared back at her with rapt attention, bringing a shuddering exhale from her lungs before she pressed on with her monologue.

"A wise man once told me that we all have pasts we'd rather not talk about, which is why we were all okay with living in a sewer," she laughed as her eyes connected with Delvin's. He returned her smile, remembering the day in which he said exactly that to her when she was a nervous, new recruit. "But considering shadows from the past have a way of coming back to life and changing everything, I've decided it's best for you all to know what you're getting yourselves into with me."

"I came to this guild after I lost the majority of the only family I had ever known. For those of you who know of my other group associations, this will be of no surprise but to the rest of you, I am a member of the Dark Brotherhood."

She paused for effect, small gasps and whispers littering the quiet. She took it all in, the fear, the confusion. This is what coming clean with your family felt like.

"Our sanctuary was sacked by the Penitus Oculatus, who had gained entry after our leader betrayed me in a botched attempt at protecting the Brotherhood. Her betrayal resulted in the deaths of many of my dark brothers and sisters, all of which I considered family."

She paused again, looking around the room to make eye contact with as many of her guild members as she could. A few of them had tears in their eyes at her words, others looked angry.

"I carried around the guilt of surviving and the anger towards my former leader for a long time. In fact, I still struggle with the repercussions of that day even now, over a year after it happened. I share this with you now not only so that you're all aware that I understand fully what betrayal feels like and why I will always take it seriously," her eyes hardened as they scanned the room, the assassin making its presence known in her stare, "but so you know that I have cracks in my armor and that on some days I struggle holding it all together."

She took a moment to close her eyes and gather her strength to continue. As cathartic as all of this was, it drained her energy as she tried to maintain in control of her emotions. When she felt grounded and ready, she kept going.

"For a long time, I thought that I had to deal with this on my own," a smile took shape on her lips, "but a certain former guildmaster reminded me that strength doesn't mean dealing with your problems on your own. It usually just ends up hurting everyone around you. He was right. So that's why I am telling you all this now, so that you understand that there will be days I need my family to help me get through my past. And I'll be here for all of you to do the same. None of us have to carry our burdens alone anymore."

Kaiya's eyes met Sapphire's, who stood leaning against the makeshift wall towards the back of the tavern. Her hand covered her mouth to hold in her sobs and Kaiya's eyes softened in understanding. She hoped that sharing her story would help someone and she hoped even more that her guild members would take her up on her offer to share their burdens.

"We are a family and I'll fight anyone who tries to break us apart, but I'll need the same commitment from all of you. Let's vow to each other now: no more secrets. No more lies. No betrayal. I'll work alongside you as your Guildmaster and I hope to earn your respect, but I expect that you will respect the rest of your guild in return."

Enthusiastic nods broke out amongst most of the guild along with a few shouts of agreement. Someone tried to start a slow clap, but it didn't take. Kaiya smiled with shimmering eyes as she pressed forward.

"I'm not done yet!" she declared with a laugh in her voice. "Now that we have the emotional stuff out of the way, let's get down to business. As your Guildmaster, I will give you all access to all of the perks and benefits that I can, so it's important for you all to know what they are."

A few shouts of excitement and applause broke out along the room, bringing a chuckle out of the leadership that stood around her.

Taking a deep inhale, Kaiya let out her entire resume in one rushed breath. "I'm a thane in all nine holds, a champion of several Daedric Princes, an Agent of Dibella and of Mara, the Harbinger of the Companions in Whiterun, the Archmage of the College of Winterhold and most important of all… I am the Dragonborn."

Cheers exploded amongst the thieves, with applause and shouts and a few even jumped up and down in excitement. The sight broke out a huge grin along Kaiya's face, her skin stretching with the size of it. This made it all worth it. The years of toiling on one quest after another, hiking through the wilderness of the Pale or in the harsh beauty of the Reach, all for one mission or another. All the long nights alone or spent working with people who didn't even know her name, but only knew of her by a title. It all led to this. The day when Kaiya could use all of these experiences to help a family. Her family.

When the cheering had gone on long enough, she put her hands out to calm them down so that she could continue. "That's enough you coattail riders," she teased, although laughter was present in her voice. "I'm not done yet."

"I will give you my all as your Guildmaster and I intend on being a damn good one, but if you had asked me a few weeks ago if I ever thought I'd be in the position to lead a guild, I would have laughed at the question. I was a mess, unable to manage my own life, much less an entire guild's! But I had the privilege of learning what made a great leader from one of the best." A smile crept up on her face at the mere thought of the former Guildmaster.

"He taught me that you did whatever you had to do to save the guild, even if that meant sacrificing everything you had or everything you were. He taught me that a great leader was the last wave of defense against those who would bring the guild harm, even if that meant that you yourself took the brunt of the attack. A leader pushed those under his command to be better in the only way they would understand, even if that meant having others hate him or think he was an asshole in the process. The reputation of the leader isn't important, it's the growth and success of the guild itself and a guild is only as successful as its individual members are." She smiled at the rest of the leadership as she spoke, seeing tears creep into a few of their eyes. Mercer had meant the world to them too.

"All of this information is merely background for what I really want to say." She paused again, making sure she had the rapt attention of her guild. When all eyes were on her, just as attentive as they had been before, she spoke again. "We have work to do. We have lessons to learn. We're pressing forward as a guild and while we can't look back, we can't forget our pasts either. Skyrim is ours for the taking but we'll all have to work together to make this happen. None of us can do it alone."

She nodded to Brynjolf that she was reaching the end of her speech, so he stepped forward in order to proceed with the ceremony. Before he could begin however, she had one more surprise for her guild. The thought of what she was about to say stirred the butterflies in her stomach until they were frantic, her nerves pulsing with the weight of the moment.

"One more thing," she said with a grin towards Brynjolf before her eyes moved toward the rest of her guild. "I'm so happy that all of you can be here for this moment for me. I wouldn't rather share this with any of group of people on Nirn," she grinned as they grinned back. "There is only one other person who I need to be here so that this moment can be complete as one of the happiest moments of my life."

Each member of the guild's leadership snapped their heads up to look at Kaiya in unison, but she couldn't match their gazes or else she wouldn't be able to finish what she was trying to do. "As we press forward as a guild, we have to make sure we're learning from the past and what better person to teach us about the power of fucking up than our former guildmaster."

She finished her thought with a shrug, speaking as if this was obvious. A hush fell over the room. Every mouth in the guild was hanging open, waiting to see what would happen next. And then they heard it.

Heavy boots pounding on stone.

Someone was coming, storming towards the Flagon from the cistern. It was a sound they had all heard so many times but it seemed out of place now, like it shouldn't be real. But yet, here it was.

One step after another, the boots on stone got closer and closer before the door leading into the Flagon slammed open with a bang and the mysterious figure entered, bringing gasps out of everyone in the guild.

Mercer strode in, smirk firmly planted on his face, as he took in the sight of the shocked guild before him. All of the oxygen in the room was sucked out through the gasps of the thieves. Mouths hung open. Blank stares met his eyes. Brynjolf began to cry. Delvin barked out a laugh. Vex screamed as if in shock. Mercer's voice boomed around the cavernous tavern as he addressed the room with a grin.

"And so ends the lesson!"


	67. Epilogue

Kaiya waltzed toward the secret entrance of the cistern through the graveyard, a giddy perk in her step as she moved. Her new Guildmaster armor felt stiff with her movements, the leather creaking and groaning with its novelty, but she had to break it in somehow. She whistled a bard's song, her happiness no longer able to be held back. Everything was finally coming together.

When she entered the cistern, she nodded and smiled at the thieves that moved around the stone pathways. They nodded in return, a show of respect to her authority. Her prancing did not cease as she traversed over the wet stones of the cistern toward the Ragged Flagon, where she had a very important meeting to attend.

The Flagon was bursting at the seams with thieves, the energy high and volume even higher as they shouted over each other to be heard. Beads of sweat rolled down Vekel's face as he tried to keep up with the demand for mead from all of the bodies that crowded his bar. When he spotted her, his lips turned into a grin as he stopped everything he was doing to serve her a mead. "For the Guildmaster," he said in reverence before turning his attention back to the thirsty thieves before him.

Kaiya swept her bottle of mead off the counter before sauntering over to where the guild's leadership sat at a table. Most of them had not even noticed that she had arrived, their attention held by the map spread out on the table before them. Red and blue flags littered the parchment, a common sight in most holds throughout Skyrim. The thieves were in an in depth discussion about the civil war, trying to decipher the next move that Ulfric and his Stormcloaks would make, giving Kaiya's approach no attention. One of the rogues at the table did notice Kaiya however, his face lighting up with her arrival.

"Come here, you" Mercer growled as he pulled Kaiya into his lap. He placed a kiss on her cheek before whispering in her ear, "I missed you. This is boring without you here."

"Oh hush you big baby," she teased back, smacking Mercer on the shoulder. She couldn't act aggravated for long however, and pulled him into a hug so she could whisper her own confession in his ear. "I missed you too."

"Oh dear gods, are we going to have to put up with this now?" Vex groaned as she finally noticed what was taking place at the leadership table, her attention drawn from the map.

"Get used to it, Vex" Mercer chided, wrapping his arms even tighter around Kaiya's waist. "You and Delvin could do it too if you'd get your heads out of your asses."

A heated blush crept over Vex's face as her mouth gaped open at Mercer's bluntness. "What?!" she squeaked out, her wide eyes looking toward Delvin with accusation. Delvin's head fell back as he coughed out a laugh at the ceiling. "I told you they knew, babe." He responded to her with so much softness, Kaiya felt her heart tug for the couple.

"Uh, could we get back to business?" Karliah spoke now, her eyes looking down so that she didn't have to make eye contact with anyone at the table. If Kaiya didn't know any better, she would have sworn that Karliah's dark skin was tinged with a little pinkness of its own. What secrets was she holding onto? The question was quickly answered in Kaiya's mind as soon as Brynjolf spoke. "Karliah lass, you wanna take a seat in my lap?" The redness grew more intense across Karliah's cheeks but she couldn't fight the grin that crept up at his words. "Shut up, Brynjolf" she admonished weakly, her hand smacking his shoulder.

"So what did you guys figure out while I was gone?" Kaiya jumped in to save Karliah from any more embarrassment, earning a smile of thanks from the Dunmer.

"We were trying to decide what side of the civil war would benefit our plan the most for you to join. We'd get better inside information and perhaps could plant a few moles with the Imperials, but the Stormcloaks seem to have a better chance of winning and thus a better chance of helping us toward our endgame," Mercer explained as he leaned toward the map, his deep voice drawing shudders out of Kaiya as he spoke directly into her ear.

"I see," she said, trying to rein in the warmth that was sliding up her spine as she continued to sit on his lap.

"What about your mission, love?" Delvin asked, directing Kaiya's attention away from the solid body behind her. "Did you make any headway?"

"Oh yeah," she shrugged with confidence, "tons. We should have people showing up any minute now that are willing to help us."

"That a girl, lass!" A wolfish grin spread across Brynjolf's face as he spoke, the sheer enormity of calling in Kaiya's allies not lost on him. "This is going to be a heist to remember."

Before long, the allies Kaiya mentioned began filtering into the Ragged Flagon from the Ratway. It started with Jzargo and Enthir stumbling in, Jzargo complaining about having to sneak through the city that didn't allow Khajiit inside the walls. Gulum-Ei made an entrance shortly thereafter, followed by Vilkas and Aela who looked completely out of place in the dingy sewer tavern. Rune came running into the Flagon with a letter from Erikur who pledged his support while Keerava hand delivered a petition signed by all the shopkeepers in Riften vowing their allegiance as well. Kaiya's heart dropped when Madanach entered silently through the Ratway, keeping to the shadows so as to not draw attention to himself or to his fellow Forsworn who accompanied him.

When it seemed as though most of the reinforcements had filtered into the Ragged Flagon, Mercer decided it was time to begin planning. "Thank you all for coming," he bellowed into the cavernous room, drawing all attention to him. "I think we may be still waiting on a few more, but let's get started."

"I still can't believe we're doing this," Vex grumbled from behind him, her forehead resting in her hands. "Even with all of these people, we're fools to consider it."

"Did someone say fool!?" an excited voice from the shadows called out, the eeriness from the statement giving chills to a few members of the guild. The chills continued as the Keeper from the Dark Brotherhood made his presence known, stepping out of the shadows with a jig. "Fool of hearts, at your service!" he cried, dropping into a deep bow of reverence for his beloved Listener. It wasn't until he moved that his companions could be seen hiding in the shadows he had stepped from, a cautious Babette and Nazir merely watching from the darkness.

Kaiya buzzed with the thrill of being surrounded by all of her nearest and dearest. It was really happening. The plan was beginning to take shape.

Vex sighed in resignation. "So we're really doing it then?"

"Oh yes!" Kaiya exclaimed, jumping up and down with excitement. "I've been waiting for this for so long!"

"So let's do it," Mercer declared, his strong voice demanding attention as it moved through the room, drawing the gaze of each of their new allies.

"Let's take down the Black-Briars."


End file.
